Everything Changes
by Maxy93
Summary: All it takes is one thing to ruin everything. Kelly Grimes and the rest of the group deal with the ups and downs of living in the prison. But all of that comes to an end when The Governor and a new group show up, splitting the group and families apart. With a new baby that wasn't really wanted Kelly has to learn to survive outside the prison walls again. Without Rick and Daryl.
1. Chapter One: Mellow Day

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

BAM! New story! Enjoy a typical and short first chapter! Pretty please review and let me know how the first chapter went!

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><p>Chapter One: Mellow Day<p>

"You get one more week." Hershel says as he pulls the too familiar blood pressure cuff from my arm. "If this little one isn't here by then we'll try to induce labor with all the tricks, and if that doesn't work we'll do a c-section."

"I'm willing to start with the tricks right now." I say as I swing my swollen feet off the side of the table. "I'm sick of this."

"Gonna give the baby an extra week, just incase we've miss-counted the weeks."

"If we miss-counted I will be shocked. I don't think I can get any bigger."

"You'd be surprised." Hershel helps me off the table and I follow him out the door.

"How are Judith's theeth doing?"

"Better since that medicen got brought back. She back to being into everything now."

"She's one. If you think she's bad you should have seen Carl."  
>"You should have seen Maggie. One day, just a few weeks after she got comfortable on her legs, she walked right out the front door. Her mother yelled at me from the front yard saying she couldn't find her. Well, we searched all over the house and the porch, and I eventually found her, you wanna know where?"<p>

"Sure."

"Under the front steps, playing in the mud with the dog."

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><p>I walked Hershel to the library where the council was having another meeting. It was late spring or early summer, or I could be off entirely on the time. But it was hot and runs were happening again. I smiled at Daryl through the door before I set off in search of my brother. I waddled down the steps and into the hot Georgia sun. Sure enough, Rick and Carl were down by the pigs and the crops.<p>

Those two had finally gotten their relationship back on track. In so many ways Rick putting his gun down was the best thing for him and his son. But there were days where I missed the feeling of sureness I always felt when Rick was calling the shots. I didn't like the Carol had more say in the running of the prison than Rick. But that could just be my personal feelings getting in the way of logic, putting the gun and the leader role aside has been good for my brother.

There were a few people patrolling the fence line. We kept people on it almost constantly since an incident we had about a few months ago where we had a huge build up and they weakened several spots along the fencing. After that not only did the council add more people to the fence, but we put an evacuation plan in place. A way to get everyone and a lot of supplies out in case the prison fell. We had surprise drills every now and then. But since I'm the size of a barn I have been exempt from the last two. I was glad we had the plan in place, but I prayed we wouldn't have to use it. If we lost the prison I don't think I could go on. That winter on the road after we lost the farm had been bad enough, but now I had a baby. I couldn't survive that again.

"Still got the bun in the oven huh?" Ty calls at me from the fence line.

"Unfortunately!"

"Eat some pineapple. That's what my momma did when Sasha was over-due."

"Go find me some!" I yell back. He goes back to walking the fence and I go over to where Rick and Carl are washing the pigs. "Isn't that a waste of water?"

"Gotta keep 'em clean if we plan on eating them later. Don't want to risk anything with the meat." Rick says as he releases one of the pigs who immediately rolls back in the mud.

"I don't think Edgar liked his bath."

"Dad just got done yelling at me 'cause I use their names." Carl says as he tosses his rag on the ground.

"Their not piglets anymore. Don't get attached."

"Like you did to that fish when we went to the Great Lakes?" I ask crossing my arms on top of my stomach.

"Yah!" Carl says with a smile. "What did he call it…Anderson!"

"That was different." Rick defends himself.

"Not really, dad told us we were fishing for dinner."

"At least I caught something." Rick says splashing water at me.

There have been more times like this between us lately. The three of us being able to laugh and be silly. We even talk about Lori now without Rick getting that haunted look in his eyes. I never want to see that again. The way he was after Lori died was horrible. "So what's on the agenda today?" I ask when they wash the last pig.

"Nothing today, that I know of anyway. Tomorrow is the big run to that store Daryl saw when he brought Bob in." Rick says as he wraps his arm around me and leads me back towards the prison. He doesn't let me stay on my feet too long. Its rather annoying, but today I'm too tired to argue.

"Daryl told me the place was over-ran."

"Glenn and Frank fixed up a boom-box." Carl says. "Dad, can I go?"

"Sure, I'll get you later." We watch as Carl walks off.

Rick and I get to the pavilion and he sets me down at a table before he goes and gets us some water. "He's doing so much better." I say when Rick sits back down.

"I know. He's almost like he should be. But I think I let him get too far. He never should have gotten to that point."

"It's not your fault Rick."

"Yes it is. I lost sight of what was important. I forgot about my son."

"But your making up for it now." I say taking a drink of my water. "Has Merle gotten back from hunting yet?"

"No, and you wont see him until the sun goes down. After he was cooped up for so long, because of you, he got cabin fever something bad."

"I told him to leave the bookshelf alone. He insisted."

"I'm just glad he didn't break his leg. That would have been the last thing we needed was a broken Merle Dixon."

"You shoulda see him when he broke his wrist when I was a kid. He bitched for a month."

Daryl tosses his bow and rope on the table in front of us. "Meeting over dear?" I ask looking up at him.

"Was no big thing. Just going over assignments for tomorrow."

"And let me guess, you put yourself on the run group."

"Don't I always." He says as he takes my cup and drinks all of my water. "What did Hershel say about my kid?"

"Has a week to make itself known before he starts taking action. While you're out tomorrow get pineapple and anything spicy."

"Black licorice too." Rick adds. "That's what Lori ate with Carl."

"That stuff is gross." I say making a face.

"Saw in a movie that sex helps too." Daryl says with a grin.

"You just stick to the pineapple and spicy food buddy." Rick says standing up. "Are you gonna teach today?" he asks me.

"No, I will tomorrow when they're out on the run. It'll keep my mind off it."

"Okay, see you later." He looks up at Daryl. "Be safe out there." Then he walk back down towards the crops.

"Maybe we should pick him up some overalls." Daryl says as he slings all his stuff over his back.

"When will you be back?"

"Before the sun goes down."

"I'll walk you down." I say moving to stand up.

"No, you need to rest. I won't feel like rubbing your huge feet tonight."

"It's your fault." I say back. He smiles and gives me a quick kiss.

"Stay away from D. Carter moved back there." I tell him I will and he walks down the hill towards the doors.

Of course the ass moved back into D block. E block was too far away from most of the population, he couldn't annoy people if he lived there. I still don't know what happened between Merle and Carter while Daryl and I were gone on our hooky date, but ever since that day Carter has kept his distance. And Merle wasn't telling me what he did either. Too bad Carol was a different story. I swear that woman could not take a hint. She didn't mess with me or Daryl directly, but I think she used her place on the council as a way to try to get close to him again. Only this time Daryl was using his head and was brushing her off each time. But I still saw red if I saw them talking together.

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><p>I stood up and went back inside the prison. I needed to give Beth a break and play with my niece. She had to be a year old by now and Beth and I were so close to getting her to walk on her own. She did okay if you held her hands, but she needed to do it alone. Plus I told her I would take her to see Lori today. I know Judith didn't know or would remember these trips until she was older. But I loved taking her down to the crosses. I'd let her crawl around and play while I told her stories about her mother. Just like why Carl fought to bring back a picture of Lori so Judith would know what her mother looked like, I wanted Judith to know who her mother was.<p>

I got Judith to walk about half way to the crosses before she sat down and I had to pick her up. Not an easy feat with a huge middle. I told Judith about the time Lori and I got stranded on the side of the road on a Black Friday when Carl was two. Rick had been so mad because he had to get out of bed with a two-year-old at four in the morning to save us. Shane then taught Lori and I some basic mechanics after Rick complained about the experience for a week after the face.

"You should have seen your daddy's face when he got to us. He was in his Pepsi pajamas and his Falcons t-shirt. He was fuming, or as much as your daddy can fume." Judith could careless about the story since bugs were flying across the grass, but this was my favorite thing to do these days. It helped me bond with my niece and it kept me busy. I wasn't able or allowed to do too much these days. And I was usually board over half the time.

When I got too hot outside I grabbed Judith and took her back inside where we played together until she needed a nap. I needed one too. So we cuddled up on my bed and fell asleep. A soft breeze from a tiny battery powered fan that Glenn had found me on a run was blowing across my sweaty skin, the sound helping me fall asleep.

When I woke up Judith was gone. I guess I had overslept her nap time. I got out of bed and headed outside. The sun was lower in the sky, but I knew not to expect Daryl back anytime soon. There was still a few more hours of daylight left. Or that's what I thought. When I stepped outside Merle was up and moving all over the pavilion area. And if Merle was back, Daryl was too. A quick whiff of the air and I figured out why they were back to early, they had gotten a deer. "About time you shot something good." I say when Merle moves within ear shot.

"And its past time for you to pop out my nephew!" He says back as he walks over to me. "I'm sick of waiting on you."

"Your hands are filthy, go wash yourself."

"Daryl is in the shower right now."

"There is more than one stall now."

"But he likes to sing while he showers." Merle says as he gets distracted by a woman who I think was named Ashley, but I could be wrong. I was bad with names before, but I was worse now.

"Are you seriously going to oggle a woman while you're in the middle of a conversation with me?"

"Sure am. I brought back food. I'm a hero. She should be willing to show me some gratitude."

"Ew." I say smacking him on the shoulder. "You are the nastiest person alive. You know that right?"

He just shrugs and walks off in the direction Ashley walked off in. I shake my head and walk over to the water cooler. It's hot from the heat, but at least we have a supply of it, so I don't complain. It's been so long since I've had a cool drink my tongue would probably jump out of my mouth if I had one. I sit down across from Ty and Karen. One of my new favorite hobbies was messing with Ty about him newly forming relationship. For all his big muscles and tallness, Ty was a big teddy bear who was very awkward around women. Especially women that he had crushes on.

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><p>The rest of the evening passes peacefully. Daryl, Ty, Karen, and I played cards and ate some deer until it got dark and we all had to go inside and get some sleep. Today was a pretty mellow day. But tomorrow would be stressful for me. I always had anxiety when Daryl went out on runs, but I was worse these days. The thought have having the baby while he was out was scary, and the thought that he could die while on a run and leave me alone with the baby was unthinkable. But staying true to our promises to each other, I told Daryl about my fears and he did what he could to help. But nothing but him being with me at the prison would put them to rest.<p>

But I know I can't be selfish with this. The prison depended on the runs. With Michonne gone and Rick in retirement, Daryl was one of the best. Glenn was in charge of his own running group, but he had been spending a lot of time glued to Maggie's side lately. I had a feeling something was up with them. But Maggie hadn't said anything, and I wasn't going to meddle. I had my own problems to worry about and Maggie would tell me if something was up. She was, without a doubt, the best friend I have ever had.

"How are you feeling?" Daryl asks as he sits down on the bed beside me and pulls off his shoes.

"My feet are sore again. But other than that I'm okay. Just so tired."

"I'll pick up all that stuff tomorrow for you." He says as he pulls his shirt off and tosses it on the floor.

"You're picking that up in the morning." I say as I lay down and stretch my legs out.

"If you can bend over and pick Judith up, you can pick up a shirt." Daryl says as he grabs one of my feet and starts rubbing my ankles.

"Thank you." I say as the pain starts to melt away.

"We need to talk about names again." Daryl says as he starts to rub my other ankle.

"I think we should wait and make sure."

"Kelly, the baby is fine. She's moving around, kicking. Your blood pressure is back down to normal. You and the baby are healthy. I think we're safe enough to pick out a name."

"I just….I want to make sure that the baby will be okay. If the baby doesn't make it….I cant risk what a name might add to it. Right now, the baby is a possibility, and a name might make it more."

"I don't think the baby can get more "real" sweetie. But I get it."

Daryl moves my foot off his lap and he crawls in bed next to me. It's too hot for covers, but the heat doesn't stop him from wrapping his arms around me. His fingers brushing over my middle. "But at the same time, if something happens to you, I want to know a name you like."

"Daryl I'll be dead. I won't care."

"But I'd care. Kelly, if something happens to you…lets just say I've been there before, where I thought you were gone. And what I felt was unbearable. And I know that it would be worse now. And anything I can do if that happens might help me. And knowing a name you like could help me."

"I'll let you know. Let's get some sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow."

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><p>Please let me know what you thought!<p> 


	2. Chapter Two: Facing Reality

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

Wow! You all just blew me away! 40 favorites and 57 followers for the first chapter alone! You all are amazing!

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **doctor chocolate thunder, HermioneandMarcus, Smoshlover103, sweetkiwi604, Katelyn5, Dean Winchester's Play Thing, DarylDixon'sLover, mrskaz453, WhisperedL0v3, and mattsey22

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><p>Chapter Two: Facing Reality<p>

The bright sun cast a blinding glare along the fence line. Daryl and I were walking up the hill. I kept glancing back at the fence line, my mind telling me to go back, telling me to stay close. But Rick and several other people were by the fence line, there was nothing to worry about. But I still kept glancing back. I could see small figures running around in the tall grass, giggles softly drifted back to my ears and I told myself everything was okay. The kids were under observation and Daryl and I were going to have some alone time. Everything felt fine, except the nagging that was pricking my brain. But I brushed it off.

"Mamma!" a happy voice hits my ears.

I stop in my steps and tilt my head, what had I just heard?

"Mamma!" still happy.

"It's just tiny." Daryl says beside me. But he sounded….different. Almost wrong.

"Mamma!" the voice cried again, only this time it's filled with fear and panic. I turn around and the sun is gone, the yells of "walkers by the fence" echo across the over-grown yard. The voice that was calling "mamma" is screaming in pain. My eyes fall on a tiny child in blue jeans who was being torn into by a walker. I scream ripped from my throat as I ran towards my baby.

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><p>I sat bolt up in bed, my chest heaving and my head pounding. Daryl was immediately up beside me. One hand on my back and the other flipping on the camping lantern that hung above our bed.<p>

"Kelly, it's okay. Breathe baby. It was just a dream." I was hot and shaking. I kicked the sheet I didn't remember falling asleep under off and away from me. I put my hand on my throat and feel cold sweat at the base. Daryl rubs my back until I calm down.

As my heart rate returns to normal he doesn't say a thing. He just does what he does every night since the nightmares came. He gets me a drink and hands me a damp rag. I drink all the water and wipe my face. Daryl goes to tell anyone who I might have woken up that I'm okay. By the time he gets back I've calmed down from the dream, but I'm overwhelmed with the lasting impact of having so many for so long.

Daryl climbs back into bed and pulls me against him. "Was it the same one?" he asks quietly.

"Same ending. Our baby gets ripped apart." I close my eyes and suck in a shaking breath. "God, when will they stop?"

"Everyone says when the baby comes. When you will be able to see and control the situation. Bob told you about some of his past patients. Nightmares are how you're dealing with the stress of the unknown."

"I'm just so tired of them Daryl. I don't want to do this anymore."

"I know."

It sucked that that was all he said, but I knew it was all he could say. As I entered my third trimester I started having nightmares again, very similar to the ones I had after we left the farm, the ones I had about Shane. But I couldn't deal with these the way I had with those. My body wouldn't let me just stay awake to avoid them.

The first few I had brushed off, but when they kept coming I confided in Hershel. He talked to the other doctors we now had and they all reached a conscience on what was probably wrong. And I hoped they were right about when they would go away. "Rick is up; do I need to get him?"

"Not this time." I say shaking my head. "You're all I need."

I just lay in his arms and tried to erase the nightmare from my mind. The hardest thing to let go was the screams. The sounds the child always makes when it is being eaten alive. All the dreams were different in the beginning; the child was usually always a different age, never getting older than Carl. And in each dream I could never see the child's gender, but I always knew the child was mine. And at the end of each dream the child was always killed by a walker.

"What time is it?" I ask after we sat in silence for a little while.

"Still dark. You want to try to get some more sleep?" I shake my head no. I didn't want another nightmare to be stuck in my head.

"But you can sleep. You need to be rested for the run."

"I'm fine." Is all he says. He doesn't reach to turn off the light, he doest even scoot lower into the bed. He just stays leaning against the wall, his arms wrapped tight around me.

We fall back into silence. Several times Daryl falls asleep by accident before he jerks himself awake. I tell him I would try to sleep after all, but all I do is lay awake beside him as his snores fill the air. As terrifying as my nightmares were, I was glad I wasn't the only one having them. Maggie and Karen were having them too. So were several other former Woodbury citizens. We all assumed it was because none of us really dealt with our individual traumas. Maggie was almost molested; Karen was the lone survivor to the Governor's rampage. It seemed that the closer we came to normalcy, the more out human issues came to the surface. Because we weren't constantly running or fighting to survive, our minds were finally catching up with our bodies. And we were being forced to deal with what we had just pushed aside.

And frankly it sucked. More than once poor Daryl had fallen asleep by accident and I would go sit outside and look at the sky and try to organize my thoughts. I had been joined by other people several times in the past. We had all suffered and we could help each other. That was the only way we could totally heal from all we had lost and all we could still loose.

The dawn broke and I lay still while Daryl rolled out of bed. I needed him to think I had slept so he wouldn't feel guilty he fell asleep. I waited until he sat back down on the bed to tie his shoes before I rolled over and pretended that I had just woken up. "Hey." I say as I stretch my arms over my head.

"Hey, did you sleep okay?" I just nod and I push myself up.

"When are you heading out?"

"After breakfast. Gotta eat the rest of that deer before it goes bad."

"I need to get out there then." I say trying to scoot off the bed.

"No." Daryl says stopping my movement. "After last night I want you to just relax. Stuff like that isn't good for the baby." He rubs my belly as he talks. "And as excited as I am to meet her, you are not allowed to go into labor while I am gone."

"Well I have no control over that. And like I keep telling you, keep calling the baby a girl and you're gonna jinx yourself and we're gonna have a boy."

"Nope, we're having a girl." He says with a smile as he stands up. I scoot off the bed after him and he bends down and grabs me my clothes for the day.

"Merle wants a boy."

"Don't matter what Merle wants. Matters what I want." He says kissing me before he heads out of the cell. I go to the showers.

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><p>I feel much better after my shower and after I toss my dirty clothes in the general direction of our cell I head outside for food. Patrick is at the stove and the smell turns my stomach. I had had a problem with strong smells early in the morning all pregnancy, so I just grabbed some water and a granola bar from the food box. The pavilion is really empty this early in the morning, but when I stop and listen the unmistakable sound of walkers in saturating the usually calm morning. The fence-line is covered in walkers on one side and our people on the other.<p>

I head off in the general direction looking for Daryl or Merle or my brother. I spot Merle and Rick down by the fence, Merle killing walkers and Rick being a farmer with Carl. "-unless we get ahead of it, not for long." I roll my eyes as Carol voice drifts over; I turn and see her and Daryl to my left. My eyes widen when I see her nudge him with her elbow and call him pookie, but a huge smile crosses my lips when I hear him tell her to shut up.

Daryl walks over to me and I grab his arm and kiss him. "Thank you." I say with a smile.

"No problem. Wanna watch me pack the vehicles?"

"Anything to be with you pookie." I say with a mocking tone.

"I'm gonna tell you the same thing you call me that again." He wraps his arm around my shoulders and we head over to where the cars are parked.

"Who is all going with you today?"

"Zack, Glenn, Sasha, and Tyreese."

"No Maggie?"

"Glenn said she wasn't feeling up to going. And with Tyreese going we don't need her."

I sit on Daryl's bike and watch him and everyone load up the vehicles, fill the gas tanks, check the oil and tires, all the stuff they do before they head out. Beth and Zack had a cute little moment. "Okay, are you gonna say good-bye?" Zack asks after they smooch again. But Beth just walks away with a smile on her face.

"Nope." Daryl walks by with his arms full of stuff.

"It's like a damn romance novel." He grumbles.

"Like you're not living one with the sheriff's sister." Zack says back to Daryl.

They finish up the packing when Bob walks up. "Hey. I'd like to start pulling my weight around here."

"Bob, it's only been two weeks." Sasha says. She didn't like deviations from anything from what I have gathered.

"That's two weeks worth of meals, a roof over my head. Let me earn my keep."

"You were out on your own when Daryl found you. I just want to make sure you know how to play on a team." Sasha says, stepping around the car door.

"We ain't gonna do it unless it's easy." Daryl says walking over to his bike.

"You better not be doing anything that isn't easy." I say getting off his bike.

"You know he was a medic in the Army." Glenn says, and that gets Sasha to agree. I kiss Daryl and watch them drive off.

"Don't forget my pineapple!" I yell after them. They stop at the bottom so Daryl could talk to Rick. I was excited to see that Michonne rode through the gate, but then she got in the car and I was disappointed that I had to wait longer to talk to her.

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><p>I go back to the pavilion and sit down. It was getting hot again and I was tired and my feet were sore. I needed to go round up the kids for school, but I just couldn't find the energy at the moment to do it. "Kelly?" I closer my eyes and clench my jaw. Speaking of an energy suck.<p>

"Yes Carol." I say not turning to look at her. This was the first time she had spoken to me in a few weeks.

"Were you planning on teaching today?"

"I don't know, why?"

"I didn't get to do story time yesterday, so I was wondering if I could do it today." I turned and looked at her. Part of me didn't want to let her out of spite, but I wasn't feeling up to teaching anyway. So I told her she could. Then she just walked away without so much as a thank you. I tossed some trash at her back but I missed by a mile. She didn't even notice and she kept walking.

"Damn girl, no wonder she doesn't like you, you keep throwing stuff at her."

"Morning Merle." I say as he sits down beside me. He's covered in walker blood splatter. "Did you not listen to me last night when I told you to take a shower?"

"I had to sport proof to Ms. Ashley that I brought back dinner. Didn't have time this morning."

"Ew, will you please not talk about your sex life."

"Turns you green with envy don't it." He says with a wink.

"You are so gross." I say as I toss my empty cup at him. Rick walks up the hill. "Hey brother, what's up?"

"I'm gonna go check the snares. Just wanted to let you know."

"Are you gonna take anyone with you?"

"It's just snares, right outside the fence."

"Okay. Just be safe." Rick kisses my head before he heads back down the yard.

Merle watches him as he goes. "He looks tense."

"I know. He's looked that way since he stopped being in charge. I think all he's done is coming back. But I know that him just working is helping him, giving him a chance to just think about his problems and try to figure them out."

"He just needs to make sure his past doesn't consume him. When it happens it's a hard thing to get over." Merle says as he stands up. He pats my back and walks away. It's a very interesting thing to me to look back on my first meeting with Merle and how much he scared me to how we are now. Merle was a pain in the ass and was always in trouble, but he had a good heart, you just had to look past the gruff to see it.

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><p>The sun gets lower and Rick makes it back. The snare trip took him longer than I thought it would, but he said he was fine and he looked okay. He went right back to work with the animals and I started cooking dinner. I was cooking up the rabbit meat when Maggie came over. "Hey."<p>

"Hey, Glenn said you weren't feeling good this morning. You better?"

"I wasn't really sick. Glenn was just worried."

"That's not like him. What's up?"

"What made you think you were pregnant?" she asks and I drop my spoon.

"Crap." I say trying to pick up the spoon. Maggie just handed me a new one and tossed the dirty one in the dish tubs.

I stir the meat around before I look up at her. "You think you're pregnant?"

"I don't know, maybe. I'm late, and we had a condom break four weeks ago."

"At least you tried to be safe." I say under my breath.

"Kelly this is serious."

"I know, I'm sorry." I sigh and toss some seasoning on the meat. "I was just really sick. I was never very regular so being late wasn't unusual for me. I was nauseated and had headaches. Do you think there is a possibility?"

"I don't know. The moment it broke we stopped. But I'm still…not worried…but…"

"I understand. I think there is an extra test in the infirmary."

"I don't want to waste that yet. I think I'll wait a few more days."

"Watch it; your period will come when my baby comes."

"Is daddy getting worried?"

"No, he gave me a week. But I'm hoping I don't have to wait that long. I'm tired of being a blimp."

"It's been a while since I've seen a blimp, but I'm pretty sure you don't look like one."

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><p>Maggie goes back up to the prison after a few minutes and I stay and finish dinner. I eat with Rick and toss the leftovers in several different bowls for everyone on the run. I spend some time with Judith and play cards with Carl and Rick before I decide to go to bed. I'm turning in earlier than normal, but after last night I was dead on my feet. I changed into some comfy clothes, grabbed one of the many baby books that had been brought to me, and crawl into bed. I didn't get three pages in until the sounds of Daryl's bike rumbled through the yard. I just sat and continued reading.<p>

But the longer I sat and he wasn't showing up I got a bad feeling in the pit of my belly. Last time he lingered after a run was a month ago when we had lost Charles and Annie. I put my book down and climbed out of bed. I stepped out on the platform and I heard Daryl below me. "-tired of losing people is all." I lowered my head and there was a small pause in the conversation Daryl was having. When Beth's voice drifted up I had to wipe my eyes. We had lost Zack.

"I'm glad I didn't say good-bye. I hate good-byes."

"Me too."

I went back to the cell and sat on the bed until Daryl came through the door. I immediately stood up and took his bow and vest. I handed him clean clothes and took his hand and lead him to the shower. While he washed I took his dirty clothes and put them in our laundry hamper. I went and got his dinner and some water and brought them to the cell. As he ate I sat behind him and rubbed his tense shoulders. He was taking loosing people more to heart now than he did. Loosing one of our own had always hurt Daryl, but now that we were actually living a good life, deaths hurt him even worse.

"The roof fell in, walkers everywhere. He got lost trying to save Bob. He was stuck under a shelf that fell on him."

"I'm so sorry Daryl." I say wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. He just sighs and rests his head against mine.

"I can't wait until the runs stop. I don't want to do this anymore."

"I know."

"It's not just that we could get hurt, it's me not knowing how you are. I was worried all day about you."

"I'm fine, I was perfectly fine."

"But you could have had the baby while I was gone. What we have to do here is hardly good, some of the things we just do, like its no big thing, are bad things. You having the baby will be a good thing. And I refuse to miss so big of a good thing."

Daryl turns and gets into bed. I curl up beside him. "You know how you wanted me to think of names?"

"Yea."

"What do you think of Dale? As a middle name."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. I've been torn between whether I should use the any of the people we've lost, but before the walkers people did it all the time. Dale was so wonderful and we all let him down the day he died. I think it's a good way to honor his memory."

"Ok, if it's a boy his name will be Dale."

"Actually, I want Dale to be the middle name. That way we can use it no matter what we have."

"Okay, middle name is Dale." He rubs my middle. "Do you like that? Huh?"

I pull the sheet up over us both, I can hear the whispered conversations on the lower level, but the way the words softly echo off the cold walls is like white noise and I close my eyes and very quickly fall asleep. Tomorrow would be a good day. There would be no runs and Michonne was back. Hopefully since she was here I might have the baby. I wanted her here when the baby was born too. I wanted my whole family here. It was us who made this place safe enough for me to have even a low level of confidence that I could deliver safely. So they all deserved to be a part of my baby's life from its first breath.

* * *

><p>Note: Yay for chapter one being an amazing success. To all my readers I give an infinite number of thanks! Hope everyone enjoys this chapter!<p>

And before anyone tells me, yes I know in the episode Bob was only there for one week, but I needed him there for two.

Last chance to get in on the baby gender poll

Pretty Please Review!


	3. Chapter Three: Not Now

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **Ryan1441, Lilith, Dalonega Noquisi, PrincessPipi, fangfiction6499, Guest, runawaycherry93, sweetkiwi604, Dean Winchester's Play Thing, kyolover16, and mrskaz453.

**Thank You to the **44 favorites and 65 followers

* * *

><p>Chapter Three: Not Now<p>

I managed to wake up without screaming. And I was guessing Daryl was too tired to notice if I moved around a lot. The light first rays of light were peaking through the bars, but Daryl was still fast asleep. Yesterday had taken a lot out of him; he would probably sleep in a little later than normal. But he deserved it, everyone who went on that run yesterday deserved a few more peaceful hours of sleep. I carefully and slowly made my way over him and to the floor. I changed and laid out some clothes for Daryl before I walked out the door. I yawned as I headed down the steps. I was not surprised at all to see Rick walking around with Judith.

"She's getting big." I say as I walk over to them and kiss my niece.

"Getting ornery too. How'd you sleep?" he asks looking at me closely.

"Pretty good. And since I didn't wake everyone up I think last night was a success."

"Any dreams?"

"Not any that I remember." The shrill alarm clock that signaled the start of the day went off. Rick handed me Judith as he went to go wake up Carl. "What are you doing pretty girl? Huh? Did you keep daddy up last night?" all I get back is some baby babble. I go over to the bin where her toys are and I grab a few cups and take her outside to get breakfast going.

I drop Judith down in her play pin and drop her cups and her bottle in after her. I dig through the box full of food and I settle on making some more pancakes. Rick and Hershel had picked a bunch of berries and they were awesome with pancakes. I get the first batch done just when Michonne walks out. "Hey, glad you're back." I say, pointing to the stack of pancakes.

"I'm leaving today."

"Why? You just got back?"

"I'm going to look in Macon."

"That didn't answer my question. Why are you leaving so soon?"

"Because Macon is so far away." I slam the spatula down with a huff.

"No, I want to know why you are going out there to find him! I get what he did was horrible, and I understand, almost better than anybody, how big of a dangerous psycho his he. But you don't see me gallivanting out into walker-land to find him. I want to know why you feel the need to go."

Michonne says nothing; she just bites into the pancake and looks at me. I sigh and walk around the grill and stand beside her. "Michonne, I'm sorry about what he did to Andrea. I'm sorry about what he did to you. But we beat him. He doesn't have a group, he doesn't have a town. He's not coming back. And you need to stay here." She still doesn't say anything; I shake my head and walk back towards the prison. I pass Carol on the way and tell her that I started pancakes.

I don't get far from the pavilion before Rick and Carl come by. "There are some pancakes on the table." I say as I walk by them, but Rick stops me as I try to walk by.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Michonne was driving me crazy." I say looking back at where she is over by the horse.

"She's leaving already?" Carl asks.

"I guess. And she's going all the way to Macon to boot."

"It's her call." Rick says. "You can't do anything about it."

"I know, but I can still be annoyed with her. She's just being stupid." I look down at Carl, "I'm having class today, do your chores and eat then come to class."

"He's just going to help me feed the pigs then he'll be down. I nod then walk away from them.

I walk into C block and see that everyone is up. I tell Beth that Judith was outside and Hershel tells me he wants to have another check-up. "I haven't had class in three days, I'm gonna teach today. So afterwards?"

"Okay, but you don't teach on your feet. Understand?"

"Yes sir. Is Daryl up?"

"Heard all the weird noises, so I'd say so."

"Okay, tell him where I'm at, I gotta get the kids up and fed before we have class."

"Do you need help?"

"No, I just have to tell Patrick and he'll tell everyone for me. See ya this afternoon."

* * *

><p>The hallway between C and D was empty, but it was obvious from the sounds in the hallway that they were up. Good, then getting the kids around wouldn't be that hard.<p>

*bang bang*

I freeze as the sound of a gun shots fills the air. It came from D block. Part of my brain told me to back away, but the other part told me to go see what was going on. The closer I got the more screams I heard, and when I pushed open the gate to the block it was chaos.

It takes my brain several seconds to see what was happening. Somehow walkers had gotten in the block. Another gun blast shakes me out of the stupor. I see terrified people blocking the upper platforms. I yell up at them to leave, the block. "Ms. Kelly!" I turn and see Lizzie and Mika in a corner, a walker headed towards them. I grab one of the chairs that are around a tiny table and move over to where they were; I knock it down and yell at the girls to get out. I barley see them run past me before Carter comes barreling out of a cell, tripping over a body on the ground. In the short time I've known him; I have never seen his face contorted in that much fear. His eyes were wide and he was yelling.

I stomp on the chair and break one of the legs off. I pick it up and try to do what I can, but I can't move that fast. I was never more relieved to see my brother or Daryl in my life. "What the hell are you doing in here?!" Daryl yells when he notices me. Rick is getting all the people down from the top level, Glenn and Daryl take the opposite sides of the steps, Ty, Carol, and Sasha follow behind them. I get people out of the cells and tell them to leave the blocks. I look over to where I last saw Carter and he's curled up in a ball, blood flowing from his foot.

"Carol! Sasha!" I screamed, they knew how to do the amputation that could save him. Something that one of the groups Rick brought in after Woodbury fell taught us about. If done soon enough, the person could be saved. Carter may not be the best person, but he deserved to be saved. Sasha came over to me. "Tyreese!" she yells, he comes over. Soon we have Carter on the bed. Ty goes back out and I sit by Carter's head as Sasha gets it all ready. "We have to do this now." Sasha says. Carter is silent, but he is shaking like a leaf. I grab his hand and hold on to it. "You'll be okay." I say as a scream rips from his throat as Sasha starts cutting.

* * *

><p>I stood outside the cell as Carter was carried off to the infirmary. My arms were crossed but I was still shaking. It had been a very long time since I've been in a walker attack. The survivors of D were covering their dead while our main group were delivering head shots to stop animation. Merle had saw Carter when he was being taken out, but there was no reaction from him other than a short pause and a double-take.<p>

Daryl walked down the steps and came over to me. "What were you doing in here?"

"I was gonna have class today. I came to get the kids."

"So instead of leaving when the gun shots rang out, you decided to stay?"

"Daryl I coul-."

"No," he grabs my shoulders and makes me look at him. "You should have left and got us. You could have been killed! You could have ended up like Patrick or Holly. Do you want to end up like that!?"

"Stop yelling at me. I can't deal with it. Not right now." I say back. I was too tired to fight with him, and I was too tired to deal with him yelling. I thought we were beyond this, beyond walker attacks inside the prison. Daryl looks so mad. He just shakes his head.

"Get out of here." he says as he walks back up the steps.

I wipe the tears off my face. I wasn't going to let him get to me, he was just upset. Upset and shaken. Plus I couldn't really get mad at him; he had a very valid point. I look up and see Carol leading Lizzie and Mika back into the block. I look at her and she mouths "their dad." I drop my eyes and take a breath as Carol leads them into the cell. He had to still be alive, but he had to have been bit in a place she couldn't cut off. Their voices were so quiet, but the higher pitch could easily be heard over the low conversation of the others on the top level.

"Dad?" Lizzie's voice suddenly grew a little louder. He must be a fast turner. "Dad?" Still nothing. "No."

"Come on, it's time." Carol says, I quickly push the curtain aside and see her leading the girls away from the bed. "You know what I have to do. What we're always supposed to do." Mika wraps her arms around me, but Lizzie is like a statue, she's still, her eyes locked on the bed.

"Come on Lizzie," I say putting my hand on her shoulder. "Let's wait outside." She heads towards the door for a half a second before she turns and grabs Carol's arm.

"We should be the ones." Lizzie says, reaching for Carol's knife.

"No." Mika says.

"Lizzie, you don't-." I say trying to stop her from having to do what Carl did.

"He's my dad!"

"Lizzie, are you sure?" Carol asks.

"Carol, she is not going to do this."

"She taught us how. I can do it." Lizzie says, and Carol goes pale. My mouth drops open.

"You taught them what?" But something that seems like a rustling comes from the bed.

"You have to do it now. "

Carol leads Lizzie to the bed. "You need to do it right now because you have to do it before he turns."

"Mika, go outside, right now." I say to her and push her out the door. I go over to Lizzie who is standing stiff by the bed. "Sweetie, you don't need to do this. Let's go. Right now."

"But he's my dad." She says, her voice breaking.

"I know, I know that. But this isn't what you need to do for him. Let's go outside. Okay?"

"But she said we needed to be strong enough to do this." Lizzie says looking at Carol.

"Well she's wrong. This is a job for adults. Not little girls. Come on. Let's go outside." I say, prying the knife from her fingers. "That's it. Let's go."

Lizzie wraps her arms around me and she starts crying. I knew she had asthma; I needed to get her out of here. I toss the knife to the ground in front of Carol. The thought that she had been teaching these kids how to kill was appalling to me. It was knowing things like that that almost took my nephew to a place he couldn't come back from. I wasn't going to let her mess up any other kids' lives. Mika grabs a hold of Lizzie as we walk out of the cell. She was just a little thing, but the way she took over, coaching Lizzie on her breathing was an amazing, if not heartbreaking thing to see.

* * *

><p>I get the girls down by the fence line. Lizzie just seems to collapse, but Mika doesn't let go of my hand. "Sweetie, what did your sister mean when she said that Mrs. Carol taught you how to "do it?" Do what exactly?"<p>

"Not supposed to tell. Mrs. Carol said that we would get in trouble if we told."

"No one is going to get in trouble, but I needed to know what she's teaching you."

"It's story time, we don't really-."

"Be quiet Mika." Lizzie says from the fence. "We promised we wouldn't tell."

"Lizzie, I need to know."

"No you don't. It has nothing to do with you." she says. The whole time she didn't look away from the woods beyond the fence line.

"Okay. I won't ask anymore. Are you guys hungry?" I ask, I know they haven't eaten anything yet, and I also know they need to be alone together.

I get up towards the pavilion and see Rick talking to Maggie, Carl, and much to my surprise Michonne. I went over to where they were at. "Patrick got sick last night.  
>It's some kind of flu. It moves fast. We think he died and attacked the cell block. " Rick takes my hand when I tried to go over to Carl. "Look, I know he was your friend and I'm sorry."<p>

"He was a good kid." I say, looking at Carl, wondering why Rick wasn't letting me go.

"We lost a lot of good people." Then he looks up at Maggie. "Glenn and your dad are okay, but they were in there. You shouldn't get too close to anyone that might have been exposed, at least for a little while. All of you."

I stay by Rick as they go inside. "Does Daryl know about his dad?"

"You're not gonna ask about the flu?"

"No. I have bigger things I have to deal with. Ryan is one we lost. Lizzie and Mika lost their father. I need to be with them."

"You need to look after yourself. With this flu you can't take any chances. Let Carol look after the girls."

"No." I say shaking my head. "She's not going anywhere near them."

"Kelly, I know you don't like her, but you need to put that aside right now."

"She's teaching the kids how to kill walkers and bitten people."

"What?"

"I mean, I don't know for sure, but-."

"Kelly, you can't just accuse her of something like that."

"Lizzie said that Carol taught them how. And Mika said something about Story time. They haven't straight out and told me, but from what they've said, it's not a hard thing to figure out. I'm not letting her hurt those little girls Rick. I won't let another child go through what Carl went through. Not if I can help it."

* * *

><p>I cook four pancakes and I try not to watch as they start carrying the dead from the cell block. I knew so many people in there. I knew all of the kids, and from what I had seen, we had lost some kids. Eventually I would need to know who so I could take their school work and either give it to their parents, if they had any, or just burn it. When I was a teacher in the normal world I had only lost one student because of a car accident. It had been four years since before the walkers, and maybe three since, so at minimum its been seven years since that class. And I still haven't forgotten Vince Kemmith; I haven't forgotten him or that class. Just like I wouldn't forget the students I just lost.<p>

I pile the pancakes on plates, toss from fruit and some syrup on top. I turn towards the main yard, Daryl is digging graves. He hasn't talked to me since yelling at me, but it wasn't his fault. He had more things to do, and to be honest, I didn't feel like talking to him anyway. I looked over to where I left the girls and I set the plates down and headed down to them as fast as I could. Carol was down there. I wasn't leaving her alone with the girls.

"That's life and death." I hear her say, I couldn't believe it, they just lost their dad and she was going to lecture them.

"He's dead." Lizzie says looking out.

"I know, and I'm sorry. But if you want to live, you have to become strong."

"Lizzie!" I say getting a few steps away. Lizzie turns to look at me.

"He's dead! He was special and now he's dead. Why'd they kill him? Why'd they kill Nick?"

"You're so stupid." Mika says, Lizzie just shakes her head and runs off. I stop beside Carol and Mika looks at her. "She's messed up. But she's not weak."

"Mika, there is food on the pavilion." I say, gently pushing her away. "I'll be up in a minute."

She runs off and I cross my arms and fix Carol with a hard look. "Do you want to tell me what that was about?"

"It was nothing." She says, turning around. I grab her arm and spin her back around.

"Don't you dare walk away from me. You stand there and belittle a child who just lost her father, and you have the nerve to tell me it was nothing!"

"If someone won't teach those girls what it takes to make it in this world than I will."

"That's not your call. You do not get to teach those girls, or anybody else for that matter, what to do in this world. If I ever hear of you teaching kids how to kill it will be you who will need the knife in the head."

"Don't stand there and threaten me."

"It's a promise. Its stupid shit like that that almost took Carl away."

"And it's not knowing things like that that can get people killed!"

Her voice almost turned into a shriek, and it was then that I got an inkling as to why she was doing this. "This is about Sophia isn't it? You think that if you teach these kids what to do that the same thing won't happen to them."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"God, you're dumber than I thought. It wasn't now knowing how to kill that caused Sophia to get bit. It was an accident. Just like what happened with Jim and Dale. Nobody caused it; it wasn't them not knowing what to do. It was the situation."

"Yes and the situation was everybody caring more about you than my child."

"Don't you dare go there! They were out looking for her very damn day. Daryl almost dies looking for her. So did Shane and Andrea when they went into that housing development. So don't you dare say that they cared more for me than her. Cause it's a damn lie."

"You just tell yourself that."

"I don't have to, because I know it's the truth. And here is another truth for you, if I even see you go near those girls again, I will make good on my threat."

I push past Carol and stomp up the yard. I felt on fire I was so mad. Was that woman ever going to let poor Sophia rest? She never talked about her like Rick, Carl, and I talked about Lori, yet Carol was carrying Sophia around like a heavy coat. And she was taking it out on innocent children who didn't deserve it. "Kelly, Hershel sent me to find you." I see Merle walking down towards me.

"Hershel has more important things to do than check my blood pressure. Tell him to leave me alone."

"I'm taking it your mad at someone."

"I'm not talking about it Merle."

"Well, I'm not letting it go."

I just ignored him and walked away. He, of course, followed me. I felt myself getting angrier at him. He needed to back off. I was about to turn and yell at him, but them a strange pain shot across my stomach. I immediately froze and hunched over. "Kelly?" Merle says, grabbing my shoulders as I bit my lip. The pain left, but there was a lingering sensation. "Are you okay?"

"Yea, I'm okay."

"What happened? is it the baby?"

"Daryl! Rick!" Maggie's voice sounded panicked as she yelled across the yard. We look up and my eyes lock on to what has her freaking out. A whole group of walkers are pushing against a fence, there is so many of them they are bending the chains.

"Go." I say pushing Merle away.

"But you-."

"Merle, I'm fine, you help them." He hesitates, but he turns and quickly runs towards them.

I'm still hunched over as I make my way to the prison. I have three more shots of pain before I make it in. I'm out of breath and shaking by the time I get to the door that leads to the rest of the prison. "Hershel! Dr. S!" I yell down the hall, I feel horrible and I don't know what's going on.

"What's wrong?" I turn and see Beth standing with Judith.

"Get her back, where's your dad?"

"I think in the infirmary with Daryl's dad. What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I think the baby." Another shooting pain has me hunched over and Beth sets Judith in her crib.

"I'll go get dad." She says, running down the hall.

* * *

><p>In just a few minutes, Hershel and Beth are running back down the hall. They get me to Rick's bed and Beth grabs Judith, Hershel telling him to get her away from us. "When did they start?"<p>

"Just a few minutes ago."

"Have you had any unusual pain today?"

"Just some back pain and a few Braxton Hicks."

"Was it more painful than usual?"

"A little. What's going on?"

"I think your baby wants to see what all the commotion is about. You're in labor."

"No, no, no, no. you have got to be kidding me! This baby has had several calm days to be born, and now that everything is going to hell it decided it wants to be born?"

"That's how it works sometime. Now you have to calm down. If you stay this tense you will not have a good delivery."

"Forgive me for not being calm and serine!"

"You just lay there and I'll go get Daryl-."

"No, no not yet. They're dealing with walkers at the fence line. Don't tell him until they're done. He needs to be focused."

"Okay. I'll wait. This is going to take a while, you're in for a long day and night girl."

* * *

><p>Note: <strong>Ugh. <strong>My stupid self forgot that I saved Hershel's leg in Nothing Ever Last. So in the first chapter when I talked about the prosthetic leg, I have to go back and fix it. This reminder is for those who may forget, like I did, that Hershel still has his real leg so I had to explain the knowledge of the amputations somehow.

Hope everyone enjoyed this.

Next Chapter: The baby is coming! Carter wakes up, and we get ourselves a murder mystery!

Pretty Please Review!


	4. Chapter Four: My Job, Your Job

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **Ryan1441, Guest, doctor chocolate thunder, Dalonega Noquisi, Abby, Guest, mattsey22, kyolover16, HermioneandMarcus, Dean Winchester's Play Thing, sweetkiwi604, lorrainenicole, mrskaz453, TheMadnessWithin13, and DarylDixon'sLover!

**Thank You to the **47 favorites and 69 followers

* * *

><p>Chapter Four: My Job, Your Job<p>

"So how long is this going to take?" I ask as Hershel takes my blood pressure again.

"There is no way to tell. But since this is your first baby it will be a little longer than normal. But you're in good health and in fairly good shape, so we'll just play it by ear."

"Is it okay that I'm scared?" I asked with a nervous smile.

"I'd be worried if you weren't. Are you sure you don't want me to get Daryl? He probably would like to know his child is on the way."

"I know, but when I came in walkers were all over the fence-line, he's needed out there."

"Pretty sure I'm needed in here more." Daryl says as he walks in the cell. Hershel gets out of the chair beside the bed and leaves as Daryl sits down. "How many times do I have to tell you that you are what matters the most?"

"Let me guess, Merle."

"Yep, he and Rick are dealing with the walkers, so I'm all yours."

"What about the dead in D?"

"There are plenty of people to help with that. I'm not leaving you."

"Hershel said it could be hours, you'll be board before I reach 4cm."

"You making a bet?"

"Sure am, name the stakes."

"I'll get back to you. Like you said, we have hours."

* * *

><p>Time passed too slow and it looked like I was going to be the one that was going to go crazy from the boredom. Minus the occasional contraction I was pretty much just laying there. "Just breathe. Squeeze my hand." Daryl coached as another made itself known. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes closed until it subsided and I relaxed. "That one was closer to the last one, about a minute and a half." Daryl says looking at his watch.<p>

"Yay, we have progress." I say leaning against the pillow and closing my eyes. I laid still and tried to breathe like I had been taught, I wasn't doing a good job.

"Kelly, you have visitors." I open my eyes and see Rick and Ty at the door, Ty had two bundles of flowers in his hand. Daryl moved to the back of the cell and Rick sat down in the chair.

"Hey, how are you doing?"

"I'm okay; it's just the beginning, if I start complaining now I'm in for a long day. What's with the flowers Ty?"

"I was getting some for Karen, but when Merle Dixon was running around yelling that his nephew was coming I got some for you too." He says as he hands me a bundle.

"Aw, thank you." I give them a smell before I hand them to Daryl and he sets them on the desk. "I'll have them put in some water when I get a chance."

"No problem" he takes my hand and squeezes it. "I'll tell Karen that the baby is coming, she'll be excited. Good luck, I'll stop by later." Then he turns and walks away.

Daryl goes to get something to put the flowers in, leaving Rick and I alone. "Are you excited to be an Uncle?"

"I am, I just wish this was happening in a better world."

"I'm having this baby in the best place possible in this world, and it's all thanks to you. You made this possible."

"It was all of us."

"But mainly you. And I can't thank you enough for always taking care of me."

"You're my baby sister; it's my job to take care of you."

"So what's going on with this flu?"

"Really, you're gonna ask now?"

"As good a time as any, I'm just laying here."

"Right now they're just burying the bodies, we have Karen and David in isolation, and cell block A is quarantine for anybody else who starts to show symptoms. Right now the only person in there is Dr. S; hopefully it'll stay that way."

I looked up at the ceiling as what Rick said worked its way into my head. Then I felt myself panic. "Rick, the people who are at risk is anyone who was in D. I was there, I-I could have it. I could have it and-and my baby-." Rick grabs my hand and holds it tight.

"Whoa, calm down. Calm down, we don't know anything right now. There's a chance that Karen and David are the only ones who have it, and we have them isolated-."

"But there's a chance that we all have it. Rick, what are—what are we gonna do?" I ask pushing myself up into a sitting position.

"You need to calm down. Going into a panic is not going to help anything and it definitely won't help you with this baby-."

Another contraction bubbles its way to the surface and all thoughts of the flu went out the window. I groaned and tears fell from my eyes as it passed. I fell back down out of breath when it left. Daryl came back with the flowers in a soda bottle and a glass of water. "She have another one?"

"Ya, it was short." Rick answered as Daryl set everything down on the desk and sat on the edge of the bed.

"About the same as the last one. You want some water?" I shake my head no and wipe my cheeks. "You're okay." he says rubbing my stomach. "Do you need anything-."

"Rick!" Daryl was interrupted by the loudest hollering of Rick's name I had ever heard, and soon a very pissed and infuriated Ty thundered around the corner. "You need do come with me, now!" He says, his voice is rough, his breathing fast and heavy. Rick stands up to follow, and I order Daryl to follow.

"You have about six minutes before the next one; I'll be fine without you."

I pushed myself into a sitting position and swung my legs over the side, I wasn't going to stand up, but I did not want to spend all day on my back. Hershel came in a few minutes after Rick and Daryl left. "Do you want to stand up?"

"Am I allowed to do that?"

"If you have someone with you, where did Rick and Daryl go?"

"I don't know, Ty just came storming in here and demanded they go with him. Whatever it is he's pretty pissed."

"I'll go get Merle; his happy demeanor is rude to those who lost people today." Hershel turns to leave, but I stop him.

"Hershel, Rick told me about the flu, the one that killed Patrick, that caused what, happened today. He said that everyone in D was exposed, that means I was exposed."

"I know, but we don't know anything right now, we're going to wait and see-."

"What about my baby. What if I have it, I can't be around a newborn, not with some killer flu."

"I just said don't worry about it."

Hershel moves and sits beside me on the bed and wraps an arm around me. "I'm going to tell you something my father told me, one of the few pieces of good advice he ever told me. We all have jobs to do; we don't worry about anything else but our jobs. We don't get to be upset. Your job is to have this baby. Your job is to help further human existence. It's my job to worry about the flu. And if I feel that action needs to be taken I will. But that is my job. Let me do mine and you will do yours. Understand?"

Talking to Hershel was like talking to my father, I wouldn't be able to disobey him if I wanted to. I nod my head and lay my head on his shoulder. I still am afraid of what could happen, but I feel reassured that I, and my baby will be taken care of.

"I'm glad that we found each other Hershel." I say as I raise my head. "I didn't like you at first. You were too bossy for my taste. But in the end, I wouldn't trade meeting you and your family for anything."

Hershel just smiled and kissed my forehead. "You and your brother will have a place in my heart too. I wasn't to thrilled with you two either when you arrived at my house, but I think we found each other at the perfect time. Even if Carl's life hadn't depended on it, I know The Almighty brought us together for a reason." I was very upset when our moment was ruined when another contraction decided to hit.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

I had gotten Hershel to fix Rick up and left Kelly at Merle's mercy. For some reason I felt I had to go see Carter. He was still asleep from what I had gathered, but my brain just needed to see if what I had seen was really true. There was someone outside the door at all times, this time it was Bob, I nodded at him and went inside. The infirmary was quiet; Carter was strapped to one of the tables in case the amputation didn't work or he woke up and thrashed around.

He was still until the door clicked shut behind me, then his head whipped towards the door faster than anything I had seen. But the moment he saw it was me he turned his head back towards the ceiling. "What are you doing here?"

"If you want those straps gone, all you have to do is ask."

"I've been in tighter straps than this, this is a prison, I expected a tighter hold."

"Has anyone been in here to tell you what happened?"

"That I'm basically now walker bait, sure. It was a dandy talk. So glad your little woman let me live."

"She saved your life."

"She saved it so I could be left when this place falls." Then he moved his head back towards me. "And it will. Nothing good lasts."

I ignored my desire to just flip him off and walk away, but I stayed. I walked over and undid the straps across his chest. He pushed himself up and undid the one that lay across his knees. "Why are you here?" he asks again, his eyes not leaving the stump of his leg.

"Kelly is in labor."

"And I care why?"

"Maybe because she's having your grandchild, maybe because you're my father, maybe because she saved your damn worthless life."

"If my life is so worthless, why did she even bother?"

"If it would have been me I would have let you die. Let you die and then shoot you in the head." His chuckle just added fuel to the fire that was building in my chest.

"Do you think I'm kidding? You are worthless, a piece of shit excuse for a man!" he still laughs, I don't even realize until he's on the floor and my hand explodes in pain that I had punched him. "I wished she would have let you die! That way I could finally pay you back for all you did, finally do what I couldn't do as a kid!" He looked up from the ground, a sick smile on his lips, but it didn't quiet mach his eyes.

"If you hate me so much, why don't you just do it? Just kill me now. Not like anybody here is going to stop you. Hell, throw me to the walkers, let them dispose of my body so you don't even have to dig a grave."

And just like that my anger was gone. He wanted me to kill him. He didn't think he could make it now. And that didn't set right with me. I had never thought much of Carter, but one thing I had always learned from him was to be tough and never be a coward, never take the easy way out. And that was just what he was asking me to do for him. Help him take the easy way out, the coward's way out.

I just stood and watched him try and stand up, but he couldn't. I walked over to him and pulled him up and back on the bed. He immediately shrugged me off as he lay back down. "I'll let you know what we have." Then I walk out the door, leaving him alone. Just like he wanted, and just like he always would be.

Carter was nightmare from my past, and Kelly was the dream for my future. And she needed me, she wanted me. I would never let her down, or my child down the way that Carter had let me down.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

Night had fallen and I was getting very sick of this labor mess. Not only was the labor taking forever, but more people had gotten sick and what really broke my heart was the someone in the prison had murdered Karen and David. I had tried to go see Ty the moment I was told, but I wasn't allowed to by both Daryl and Hershel, and the fact my contractions were getting closer and more intense. "Daryl, I need to get up again. I can't do this." I say trying to push myself up, but I was so tired I could barley do it. Daryl caught me and pulled me into a sitting position. He wiped my face and fixed my hair so it was secured out of my face again.

"No, Hershel said no more walking."

"I don't care what Hershel said. It hurts Daryl, I gotta move."

"Let's roll you on your side-."

"I don't want on my side!"

As soon as I yelled I immediately felt horrible and I dropped my head in my hands as I started to cry. Daryl wastes no time to get at my side and wrap his arms around me. "I'm sorry." I say leaning against him. "I'm just so tired of this. I want this to be over."

"I know. Hershel said you were almost there. Just think about that. Think about finally seeing our baby."

"I wish he would just get here already!"

"He huh. You falling in with my brother? Well, you both are going to be disappointed when we have a girl." I laugh a little as I stop crying and wipe my eyes. I'm shaking and I'm sticky from sweat and the heat. I was moved from block C to what was the warden's office. This was so I could have privacy during the actual delivery and everyone could sleep while I was in agony. But even if I wasn't in constant pain, with Hershel, Maggie, and Rick coming in every five seconds I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.

"Daryl, what if I get sick?"

"What did Hershel say?"

"I know what he said but-."

"No buts. He told you he would deal with it."

"Aren't you worried at all?"

"Of course I am. But there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do it help you now. I trust Hershel, and if he thinks the baby needs to be separated, he will. We still have plenty of formula left over from Asskicker. Everything will be okay."

"You remember what you promised me right? If something happens-."

"Kelly, stop. You are going to be fine; the baby is going to be fine. You just have to believe. I'm not loosing you, or the baby. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Lets get you back down." Daryl stands up and gently pushes me back on the bed, just in time for Hershel to knock on the door.

"How are the contractions?"

"I think if she doesn't drop the baby soon she's going to break my hand."

"It's a lot more fun making them isn't it." Hershel says with a smile.

"I don't think that fun is worth this." I say to Hershel as more pains shoot across my middle. Daryl looks offended. "Sorry Daryl, you're not good enough to cancel this out."

"I'm afraid this next part is the worst. You are ready to push; I just have to go get everything. Who all do you want to me to tell?"

* * *

><p>Rick's PoV<p>

My hands constant throbbing was a nice thing to focus on when all my thoughts were running in several directions. There was a killer in the prison, there was a killer germ in the prison, I had lost control again and punched out Tyreese, and now my sister was having her baby. Visions of Lori were flashing behind my eyes. But they weren't the happy images of when Carl was born, but when Judith was born. Her skin was hot with the fever that had already affected her body. Just one deep scratch from the walkers would kill you as fast as a bite. Then she had died the next day. I wasn't there when she passed, I was too angry, too far gone to realize what had happened.

We were all gathered outside, Maggie and Michonne were standing at the far corner away from us, being the only ones who weren't exposed to the flu. Glenn, Merle, and I were against the opposite wall. Merle was giddy as a school girl. He hadn't left Kelly alone all day, and he had a rare bottle of beer involved in a bet with Daryl over the sex of the baby. Kelly would be pissed if she found out.

I was surprised to see Carol was in the crowed gathered outside the door, but I think she was here more for in case Hershel needed assistance than concern for Kelly. Hershel had taught her how to do things for Lori in case something happened to him, so if something went wrong with Kelly it was good she was out here. Every one in a while a yell would sound through the door, Kelly was doing well for her first baby, but I also knew she was exhausted. Her emotions had been all over the place today, and it had taken more than a few pep talks and straight up threats to keep her in place today. Kelly had always thought more for others than herself. So staying still today went against everything in her nature. But she was going to have a baby; she was going to have to learn to put the baby first.

I was a little disappointed that I wasn't going to get to hold the baby just yet. Hershel felt that since most of us had been exposed that we most of us would just get to see the baby through the window, Maggie and Michonne being the exception since they hadn't been exposed like the rest of us. But it was for the baby's safety, and I also knew I would get to hold him or her several times once the flu panic was over.

"Merle, you really need to stop doing that." Michonne said from her corner.

"Stop what, showing my love for my new nephew? Never."

"You just need to stop moving around, you're driving everyone crazy."

"You're the only one indicating a problem."

"You really are driving us all crazy." Glenn adds, his eyes not really leaving Maggie's. This was the longest those two had been away from each other in a very long time. So that was probably the bug that was annoying him more than Merle's pacing.

They continued to bicker, and it was a nice distraction from the tension and excitement we were all feeling. But there bickering was cut short when the sound of a crying baby filled the hallway. It was only then that Merle stopped his fidgeting and everyone fell silent. My heart froze, the cry kept on, but it lowered in sound. We knew the baby was here, but what about Kelly, was she okay? Was the baby really healthy? Boy or girl? We all stood a little taller when Daryl slowly walked out of the door.

There was a huge smile on his face; I don't think I had ever seen him look happier. "Well, what is it?" Merle asked.

"We have a girl."

The wave of happiness that filled the hallway was magical, when Judith was born; her birth was almost surpassed by all we had lost that day, but not this baby's. "Is Kelly okay?" I asked.

"She's fine, tired, but fine. As soon as Hershel cleans her up I'll hold her through the window." Daryl laughed and bounced on his feet. "I'm a dad." Then he turns and goes back in the room, leaving us all looking at the window. Waiting to see the newest member of our little group.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

I was so tired, but I couldn't stop looking down at the little baby in my arms. She was sound asleep, tired from the long ordeal and her first feeding. She was wrapped in one of Judith's old blankets and was wearing a yellow onesie. Hershel was long gone, back to bed. Daryl was lying beside me, one arm around my shoulders, the other holding the hand of our little baby girl. "We need to name her." he said.

"I don't know what to name her. Even though she's right here in my arms it seems unreal."

"I told you you'd be fine. Look at what you did."

"What we did." I say fighting off another yawn.

"You need to get some sleep."

"So do you, council meeting bright and early."

"Well, she's asleep, let's sleep with her." Daryl says as he stands from the bed. He gently takes our daughter from my arms. He holds her close to his face and his smile grows to extremes as he looks at her. We had both been told no kissing her until the flu thing was dealt with, we were lucky we even were able to hold her. "I told mommy you were going to be a girl. Yes I did." He says as he lays her in the old mailbox that Judith used to lay in. it takes a few more minutes until he's in bed beside me. I fall asleep fairly quickly, but with a new born, I was up a few hours later.

* * *

><p>The following morning Maggie was in charge of helping me get up and going. She helped me sit up and change clothes, brought me food, and told me what was going on within the prison. The council meeting had just ended and since more people had come down with the flu they were putting people into isolation. My baby and I were in the warden's office, Beth and Judith were in a guard's office, the children were in a big meeting room, and Hershel was stuck with me or in another random office.<p>

Rick and several others had popped by and I had to show them my baby through the window and I wished more than ever that this flu had never happened. I felt terrible that none of the people that had helped me through the pregnancy could even hold my daughter. I also felt bad that Daryl and I hadn't named her yet.

I was sitting in a chair rocking my baby when Daryl walks in. "Hey, what's she doing?" He steps up beside the chair and I hand her to him.

"She's just looking around. Admiring her new world. How's Merle taking the fact she's a girl?"

"He's more pissed he had to give me his beer than anything."

"Excuse me?" I ask raising my eyebrows at him; he bit his lip and looked sheepish.

"Yea…he kept saying we were going to have a boy so we made bet."

"You bet on our child's gender?"

"Oh don't even; we were in the process of making one before we got distracted."

"I wasn't actually going to go through with it." I say crossing my arms. Daryl rolls his eyes and talks to our daughter.

"Your momma is a fibber. Don't let her fool ya; she wanted you to be a boy."

"Don't tell her that." I say kicking at his leg.

Daryl walks around with her a few times before he hands her back to me. "We're going on a run." He says, but his voice sounds different than it does on a normal run.

"Where?"

"The veterinary college. It's at West Peachtree Tech."

"Isn't that over fifty miles away?"

"Yea, but we gotta go. Almost all of us were exposed, almost everyone in D have it, so does Dr. S and Sasha."

"Oh no. not Sasha." My thoughts went right to Ty. He was already dealing with loosing Karen. "I need to see Tyresse." I say standing and putting the baby in the mail box.

"No, you need to stay here." Daryl says blocking the door.

"Daryl, Ty is my friend; I need to make sure he is okay."

"And your health is at risk, and if you're at risk so is our daughter."

"I'll be fine-."

"No." he says putting his hands on my shoulders. "Your job is to take care of that baby. Tyreese is a big boy; he doesn't need you right now. He has enough going on. And you do too. Do you really think Hershel wants you up and running all over the place after last night? Those pain pills are in short supply, that's the only reason you're not hurting right now. You need to stay here. Where you're safe."

I sigh and wrap my arms around Daryl. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I know staying here is against your nature, but trust me when I say it's for the best." I nod and pull away from him.

"Who is all going with you?"

"Just Michonne and Bob."

"How's Carter?"

"He's awake, that's all I know."

"What about Rick, is he-."

"Kelly, everyone who isn't sick is fine. You don't need to worry about what's going on with this place. Rick and Carol will keep it running."

"You're not letting her by the kids are you?"

"No, the kids are all in isolation. Carl is on guard. Now will you calm down."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I just…I feel in the dark here and it's driving me crazy."

"Right now you know as much as I do."

Daryl leads me to the chair and then he goes over to the box and picks up the baby. "I've been thinking about a name." he says rocking her in his arms.

"You are not naming our baby asskicker junior."

"That names already taken. But I was thinking Shayla. It was my grandma's name. She took care of Merle and me a lot." I roll the name over in my head a few times, and I really did like it.

"Shayla Dale Dixon. I like it." Daryl's face explodes into another smile and he starts babbling to the baby again.

"Shayla Dale Dixon, is that your name. Do ya like it? Huh?" I giggle when all he gets in response is a burp.

* * *

><p>Note: Baby Boy Dixon only lost by one vote, it was very close. Lol<p>

Yay for the baby finally being here. And we have a name!

Next chapter Rick continues his investigation, Daryl's on the run, and Kelly deals with an unwanted visitor

Pretty Please Review!


	5. Chapter Five: That Uneasy Feeling

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* * *

><p>Chapter Five: That Uneasy Feeling<p>

The afternoon heat was making the room almost impossible to stay in. the window was open and I wasn't getting more than a foot from it. The heat had been making Shayla fussy, so I was savoring the fact she was napping. But at the same time, I was bored. Daryl and his group had been gone for about an hour and a half, and I was trying not to think about it. There were a few walkers meandering around outside, but they didn't seem to be heading for the prison. A knock on the door draws my attention from the window; Rick was standing outside the door holding up a roll of white bandages. "I know I need to keep my space from her, but I can't do this alone."

I walk out of the room and savor the cooler temperature in the hallway. "We named her Shayla." I say taking the wrap from his hand.

"Shayla?"

"Daryl's grandmother's name."

"It's different. I think there was a girl in Carl's class named Shayla."

"You're thinking of Brent's big sister." I was referring to Carl's best friend. Carl and Brent were as inseparable as Rick and Shane were. "Did you get a chance to talk to Ty?"

"Yea, we're okay. He went on the run."

"Daryl didn't tell me that."

"It was kind of a last minute thing."

"Maggie said Hershel went into isolation."

"Yea, we tried to stop him, but he has a hard head."

"He's like grandpa, never one to just sit on his hands."

I finish wrapping his hand and I open the door and look in on Shayla."

"You're just outside the door, if she cries you'll know."

"I know. I just…I don't like to be far away from her."

"New Mommy Syndrome."

"What?"

"Lori was the same way, so was mom actually. I remember when they finally brought you home the hospital mom wouldn't go two inches from your side. And that's New Mommy Syndrome."

"You think I'm being silly."

"No, I think you're being a new mother."

"Hey, I think I'm gonna go take a quick shower, would you like to watch her?"

"I don't think I should-."

"Daryl and I both were exposed, if she's gonna get it she's already got it. Besides, you need Uncle Rick practice." I can tell Rick has been wanting to hold Shayla since the he first saw her. The way he looked at her through the window was proof enough. "Please, ten minutes."

"Okay. I'll watch her."

* * *

><p>Rick's PoV<p>

The heat in the room was the first thing that hit me. But the cooing that was coming from a familiar mailbox was the second and most important thing. I walked over to it and looking inside. Shayla was smaller than Judith was when she was born, and had less hair. I saw more Daryl than Kelly in her face. I wiped my hands on my pants, not like it would make any real difference, before I reached in and picked her up, held my niece for the first time.

She was so small, which was surprising considering how big Kelly had gotten. No hair, also surprising given the heartburn. But Kelly had never been normal, makes sense her daughter wouldn't be either. Her little blue eyes opened, but I could faintly see a brown ring around the outside. "Looks like you're gonna have your mamma's eyes." Throes same eyes seemed to lock on me, even though I knew it was too early for it to actually happen. "I'm your Uncle Rick. And I'm a lot better than your Uncle Merle. You'll meet him later." I moved and sat in the chair that was under the window. "Sorry it's so hot Shayla, if I ever get a chance I'll introduce you to air conditioning, maybe I'll treat you during your first car ride."

I watched with a smile as her little fingers opened and closed, she wasn't looking at me anymore, but at everything else around her. "I bet this is a strange place to you. So much bigger and more colorful than your used too. But this isn't the life anybody wanted for you. The life you should have been born into is long gone. All you will ever know of it is in stories. But I can promise you something, your dad, your mom, me, everyone here that you're gonna meet very soon, I promise we will do the best we can to make this world better. Better not just for you, but for your cousins too. I'll do the best I can to be a good uncle to you; I dropped the ball on being a father for the longest time. But I promise I will never disappoint you. I won't let you down."

I pulled my gaze from my niece and I thought about what I had learned. Carol had killed Karen and David. I hadn't told anyone yet. I didn't know what to do about it. In the old life the answer would have been simple, but these days nothing was simple. I couldn't just lock her up, kind of funny considering we were in a prison. Karen and David had been sick, but that didn't give her the right to take their lives. She had already caused problems, trying to get Daryl to run off after the farm, trying to take Daryl from Kelly entirely, this new development with the kids, she was a safety risk. A risk to everyone, a risk to my kids, and to this helpless baby in my arms. I look back down at her. "Uncle Rick promises to keep you safe, no matter what.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

Damn walkers. That's all that kept going through my head as I kicked another rock as we walked down the road. Not three hours out and we lost the car. If only I had been paying attention instead of playing with the damn radio. That voice, or whatever we had actually heard be dammed, we needed that damn car. At least Michonne had been smart enough to grab the damn map and we were walking in the right direction. If we didn't find a useable vehicle soon we would have to camp for the night and loose valuable time. Time I could be spending with my daughter. Not even a day old and I was leaving her behind. It reminded me too much of Carter that I saw red.

I wasn't leaving Shayla to get drunk, but to help people.

It was like a damn mantra in my head, but it didn't help much. I would much rather be back at the prison with her and Kelly than on this road. But we had stuff to do.

Ty was taking up the back of the group, he was an emotional mess and if he didn't get his head on straight soon I was gonna tie him up in a tree and get him later. Bob and Michonne were behind me looking at the map, keeping an eye out for possible towns. Another truck was just up the road, but like the past several cars we had passed I seriously doubted it would work. This trip was only fifty miles if we made a straight shot, well now we were taking anything but a straight shot. I puffed on another cigarette as we walked. Kelly hadn't been able to stand the smell so I had cut back even more than I had before, but I wanted one right now, and I was outside the smell wouldn't linger, she would never know.

"What did that rock ever do to you?" Michonne asks, walking up beside me.

"Found a town?"

"It looks like we're gonna have to find a place tonight. There is an old camp ground about ten miles up the road. We should make it before nightfall. Should be tents or cabins for us to stay in."

"The sooner we get there the sooner we can leave in the morning."

"You're worried about Kelly and the baby."

"They'll be fine."

"Doesn't mean you can't worry about them."

"Cant afford to be distracted out here. Kelly and Shayla are safer there than here."

"She finally has a name? About time."

"Yea, we named her right before we left."

"Does she have a full name, or just Shayla Dixon for now?"

"Dale, her name is Shayla Dale Dixon."

"Isn't that a boy's name?"

"It's after a man who used to be a part of the group, an older guy, younger than Hershel though. He and Kelly were close, that and the circumstances surrounding his death."

"Is this the same guy Andrea talked about?"

"Most likely. He looked at her like a daughter, even when she was pissed at him."

"Andrea didn't say too much about him, just sorta mentioned him in passing."

"Let me tell you a story about Dale and his stupid Rv…."

Nothing passes time better than a story.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

I felt so much better after my shower. But the long walk from the administration building to cell block A was sort of a long one, and I got tired very fast. I sat down outside in the yard and enjoyed being outside, after being cooped up in a room for two days, it was nice to get out. I looked out at the fence-line where Maggie and Merle were dealing with the few walkers that were on the fence. "What are you doing out here?" I jump and turn to see Carol standing behind me.

"Just getting some fresh air."

"You need to be inside. It's not safe for you out here."

"Carol, I'm just getting some air."

"You just had a baby; you need to stay close to her."

"Rick is with Shayla, if she needs me he'll let me know."

"The administration building is over there; Rick will have to drag her out here to get to you-."

"What is your problem?!" I ask standing up and stepping close to her. "Rick is a big boy, he has two kids, he has been a parent a hell of a lot longer than I have. If my child needs me, he will be able to get me without risking her life."

"I'm not trying to fight with you. Like you said, you haven't been parent long. You should take help someone else who has been a parent longer than you."

"You think you have been a better mother than me!? Are you kidding? If you are so great of a mother why did you let Sophia grow up with that pig of a man? Why did you let her be hurt by that man?"

"You don't know what you're talking about; he never laid a hand on her."

"You are so stupid! Even if I did believe he never hurt her, she saw him hurt you! That can hurt a child just as much as a physical blow. If you were so great a mother, you would have taken her away from that." Carol tried to interrupt me, but I cut her off. "And if you are so great a mother, you wouldn't bully newly orphaned children or teach them how to kill. You are a horrible person and a worthless mother. And I can tell you right now, if you so much as look at my daughter, I'll be seeing you on the other side of that fence with a hole in your head!"

Carol's face goes blank and her skin white. I was steaming again, there was just something about Carol that always set me off, but I had reacted almost violently the last few times I had ever been near her. Threatening her life both times. I quickly shook my head and walked away from her fairly quickly. I walked far away from her and went to the far side of the fence-line. There were no walkers on this side, so I could just look out into the woods and try to think about why I kept flying off the handle. I pulled at the grass and then threw it towards the fence line. Carol wasn't the only person who had angered me in the past, I had blown up at Daryl several times, Rick and Hershel had also gotten on my wrong side. Hershel told me it was just the pregnancy hormones, and while that may have been true; I wasn't pregnant anymore, so why was I still getting mad?

"I thought for a second we were going to have a lawn statue."

"Go away Merle."

"After that entertaining bitch fest, I think being alone is the last thing you need."

"I can always yell at you."

"You'd lose. Ask Daryl, I can win any fight, be it verbal or physical."

"You wouldn't hit me."

"Not unless you hit me first."

"And I'm not dumb enough to hit you anyway." I sigh and for the first time in several months I don't need help standing up. "I need to get back to Shayla."

"Let me walk you back."

"I'm okay, I need to go to the infirmary and get something for my headache."

"Then I'm definitely going with you, Carter is still in there."

"Okay, you can walk me; I really don't want to see him."

* * *

><p>We go back to the cell block and Merle says he needs to go to the bathroom and get something he had found of Shayla. So I tell him I'll meet him by the infirmary. I get to the door and I lean against the door. The hallway is quiet, over half of the people we have in the prison are in A, the other half is in isolation, and the ones that are left are doing anything they can to keep this place going. Yet with all of these problems I was left in the dark, but I also had the greatest gift, I finally had my daughter. And once this stupid flu was taken care of I would take her out of the stupid office and let her see the world. She would see all of family and friends, she would always feel loved. I loud thump came from inside the room. I turned and looked at the door. Another sound and I called out Carter's name, only to hear a moan. Oh great, he had fallen off the bed.<p>

I waited a few minutes for Merle, but he was taking forever, and several most noises had come from inside the room, and even though Carter was a horrible person, I couldn't just let him be stuck on the floor. I open the door and walk in. the infirmary had two rooms, the front room that had all the medical supplies and medicine, then the back room that had the beds and tables. I head towards the back room and when I push the door open all the beds are empty, yep, he had fallen off the bed. "Carter, we're gonna get you off the floor, just hold on a minute." I walk further in the room, but he doesn't answer back, probably being a stubborn jerk, too proud to except help. "Carter, stop being an ass, just take the free help." I get to the first bed and I freeze when I hear another moan, but this time it's not distorted by the wall, I can hear the actual sound. "Shit." I breathe as I turn to get back to the door, but I'm blocked by the crawling body of Carter, his face covered in blood. "Merle!" I scream as I quickly run to the back of the room and climb on top of one of the tables. Carter could walk, but he could crawl, but he wouldn't be able to get me up here unless he figured out how to use support to stand up.

He crawled towards me fast; his face was almost unrecognizable from all the blood. I kept screaming Merle's name, but if he was still in the bathroom or even in the cell block he couldn't hear me. I hadn't carried my knife in months, but I was going to start carrying it again, this was the second time I had been in close proximity with a walk without it. I tried to think of a way to get to the door, I could, in theory run past him towards the door, but if he grabbed me or even scratched me I would be done for. I get as close to the wall as I can, Carter's bloody fingers claw at the sides of the table, shaking it under my feet. I take my shoe off and slam it down on the fingers, but nothing happens but some squirting blood and his angrier growls.

"Merle!" I scream again, only much louder than I had previously. And my cries were answered when Merle, vary loudly, came thundering through the doorway. The sound catching Carter's attention so he turns and crawls towards him. I see a weird smile cross Merle's face as he walks up to Carter's body and plunges his knife through the top of his skull. But he doesn't stop at one; he keeps stabbing his head repeatedly long after his growls have stopped. I quickly climb down off the table and move over to him. "Merle, Merle stop!" I say grabbing his arm, but he keeps stabbing. I start to shake him, pinching at his skin. Suddenly Merle stabs again, but this time he leaves the knife imbedded in what was left of the skull of his father. He calmly stands up and walks into the supply room.

"Merle? Are you okay?" I ask following after him. He doesn't say a word, he just looks over the shelf of meds until he find what he was looking for. He walks back to me and hands me two aspirin. His arm is covered in blood. I carefully take the pills from his hand, but I'm not going to take them now. "I've been waiting to do that for years." Merle says as he sets the bottle on the counter. "I'm gonna go take a shower. You better get back to Shayla." Then he just walks out the door. He has a smile on his face. And he was acting like he hadn't just brutally stabbed his father's face into an unrecognizable mess.

* * *

><p>I quickly make my way back to the administration building; I stop outside the warden's office to catch my breath, then soon the sound of Rick's singing sounds through the door. I get closer to the door so I can hear him better, a smile falls across my face as I recognized "Lullabee" a song from <em>The Mini Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. <em>Rick had sung that song to me, Carl, and Judith. Good to know he was keeping up with tradition. I quietly open the door.

Rick is standing by the window, his shirt unbuttoned because of the heat, and he's rocking Shayla. Rick smiles at me and raises Shayla's head up. "Hey, looks whose back, its momma." He says as he hands her back to me. "Thought you were only going to be gone ten minutes, it's almost been an hour."

"I know, I'm sorry. I got side-tracked."

"By what?"

"I had another fight with Carol-."

"You need to stay away from her."

"I know that, she approached me-."

"No, you don't know. You stay as far away from her as you can." Something about Rick's voice clued me into the fact that something was wrong.

"I am not against staying away from her, but why are you all for it?"

"I just don't think it's a good idea, considering your history with her, being a new mom is hard, you don't need her to add to your stress." He says buttoning his shirt back up. I didn't completely believe him, but I knew I wasn't going to get anything else out of him. So I moved on.

"There is a dead walker body in the infirmary."

"Who is it?"

"Carter. Merle and I went in there to get me some aspirin-."

"Are you okay?" Rick interrupts me.

"I'm fine, Merle took him down. I think you should go check on him."

"Why?"

"Go look at the body, then you'll know."

"Okay, I'll bring you some dinner." Rick gives me a hug and wiggles his fingers at Shayla before he walks out the room.

* * *

><p>Night falls and I'm sitting up in the chair holding Shayla. She's been fed and changed, so I'm just holding her, singing to her, telling her stories, or just spending time looking at her. She was amazing to me, a little mystery for me to figure out. She had a little birthmark on her right thigh; it was a few shades darker than her skin and looked like a half moon. She looked like she had no hair, but if I brushed my fingers over her head I could feel small, wispy threads, she looked more like Daryl than me, but it looked like she was going to have my eyes and abnormally long toes. I felt a little terrible that I didn't want her to fall asleep, because when she did I would be left alone with my thoughts.<p>

Thoughts of Daryl being out on the road during the night.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

We reached the camp ground just in time to secure a cabin and set up a watch schedule. I took first watch and we forced Tyreese to a bed, I told him if he didn't sleep I was going to tie him down and knock him out. Now I was sitting out of the porch of the cabin looking out at the stars. I was so frustrated that we had to stop, but we hadn't found a car and it was too dangerous to travel at night on foot. So while the lost time annoyed me, at least we would be alive to bring the stuff back to everyone. And I would be alive to see my daughter again.

For me she felt like a dream. She wasn't on this earth longer than six hours before I had to leave her. And while she would not know, I did, and it was bugging me. I had promised her months before, back when all I knew of her was the tiny little bump, that I would be a good father to her, that I would never leave her. Yet here I was, away from her. Just like my dead-beat dad.

I wasn't leaving Shayla to get drunk, but to help people.

My mantra was back.

This repeating thing Kelly had taught me was really a cool thing that actually worked. I had been saying it to myself all day, and it kept my temper on level ground.

But I still wished I was at the prison, back with Kelly and Shayla. Kelly had needed me last night, and I was there to help, she would need me tonight, but I wasn't there. Kelly was going to bond with our daughter while it would be a little while before I could hold her. Kelly was probably exhausted, she had been very sore and tired this morning, she probably wasn't feeling too perky today. But at the same time, Shayla was a newborn, they slept a lot. Or that's what I had heard. I had no idea if it was really true or not. I hoped it was, so maybe Kelly's day wasn't as bad as my brain was making it.

For the most part my shift passed with only my thoughts causing trouble, I had shot two walkers that got too close for comfort, I would have to remember to get the bolts before he headed out in the morning, but as soon as Michonne stepped out on the porch I gladly gave her my seat and I went inside and dropped on the bed. I said a mental goodnight to my family before I fell asleep, fully aware they were probably already sound asleep.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

The morning sun was pouring in the room, but I had been awake long before the first rays had drifted over the hill. Shayla was throwing a fit and I could not figure out what was wrong. She wasn't hungry, she wasn't dirty, she was just crying. I knew babies did that so I wasn't panicking per-say, but I wasn't totally calm either. "Shayla please, you're gonna break my eardrums. What's wrong baby?" I ask walking around the room with her again, gently rocking her in my arms. My thoughts kept drifting to the heat, it was still hot in here despite the fact the sun hadn't been up in hours, it was summer in Georgia, it was always hot. It was cooler in the hallways, but the air wasn't as safe. And I automatically felt stupid for my thoughts, I had let Rick hold her and he had been exposed, so had I and Daryl. But for some reason, stepping out of this oven of a room seemed like a scary thing to do.

I tired a few more things, but Shayla kept crying, so I slowly walked over to the door and turned the knob, then I kicked it open, a soft rush of cooler air filled the room, and after a few minutes Shayla's cries softened until they stopped minus a few hiccups. "You're gonna be hot natured, also like your daddy. Are you going to have anything from me?" I ask with a pout.

"Yea, she's going to have several grown men wrapped around her fingers." Rick says as he walks down the hallway.

"What are you talking about? I don't have anyone wrapped around my finger."

"Please, I can count at least three."

"I think Uncle Rick is being silly."

"I can't think of another person that can get Merle Dixon to move furniture for no reason other than to make a room look better. And then not get mad when a bookshelf falls on him and sprains his ankle."

"I told him not to move the bookshelf. He did it anyway. Not my fault."

Rick takes Shayla from my arms and rocks her a little. "How is she this morning?"

"She just gave me my first real taste of a crying fit."

"Oh yea?"

"She was dying of heat-stroke. She's gonna be just like Daryl I swear it to you."

"Only a lot prettier."

"What are you doing over this way?"

"Wanted to see Judith and Carl. And to tell you I'm going on a run."

"Why?"

"Going to go look for anything that can help Hershel until Daryl and the group gets back."

"Who is going with you?"

"Carol."

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

"I don't want her company, but I think she needs to be away from everyone. Even Maggie complained about her last night at dinner."

"Just be careful."

"Always." He hands Shayla back to me then he walks down the hallway.

* * *

><p>I feel very uneasy all of a sudden. Rick hadn't been on a run in a very long time, suddenly he was up and going on one, and he was taking Carol with him. I didn't like it. It was too out of the ordinary. Carol never went on runs period, and suddenly it was her and not Maggie going? Something was not right. But there was nothing I could do about it. I had to stay with Shayla. And I had to trust Rick. He may not have been on a run in a long time, but he was smart and he could retain knowledge like none other. He would remember what to do out there like he had never left. He would be safe from the walkers. And he would be able to handle Carol is she was stupid enough to try anything with him.<p>

I walked Shayla up and down the hallway; I heard Rick's car start up and then the sound of the gates opening. "Just you and me now baby girl." I say, realizing only Maggie and Merle were left running the operations of the prison. "Maybe in a few hours you and I can go see if we can help."

* * *

><p>Note: Bye-Bye Carter, though you may be gone, we are still going to talk about you!<p>

Next Chapter: Kelly's got some anger, new-mom, and suspicious feelings going on, Rick is off with crazy-gas lady, and we're gonna play around in Daryl's head a little!

Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!

Pretty Please Review!


	6. Chapter Six: Hiding Behind Duty

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* * *

><p>Chapter Six: Hiding Behind Duty<p>

I paced up and down the office, only Shayla distracted me from my thoughts, but not for very long, I must be the only parent in history that wanted a difficult baby, because then I wouldn't spend hours in silence. But she slept on and I finally lost my patience. I went to the door and opened it, calling Carl's name. it took him a few seconds to come around the corner. "Are you okay?" he asks walking up to me, "Is Shayla okay?"

"We're fine kids, is Evelyn in there with you?"

"Ya, keeping the younger kids entertained."

"Can you tell her I need her to watch Shayla for me?"

"Why?"

"I'm getting cabin fever kid. Just tell her, please. Beth has all the formula; just get some from her if she wakes up. I'll be back soon." I walk away from his protests; I will not just sit on my hands anymore. Maggie and Merle were all that were keeping this place up, they needed my help.

My first stop was my cell, I put on my boots and grabbed my knife. It felt heavy in my hand; it had been months since I last used it, I really prayed I wasn't too rusty. I shoved a few beans in my mouth as I walked past the pavilion on my way down to the fence line, where Merle and Maggie were stabbing at a growing herd of walkers. When I was noticed, Merle was not too pleased. "What are you doing?"

"Helping." I say as I stab a walker with an old fire poker.

"Last I checked you had a baby."

"She's sleeping. Now you can yell at me and waste time, or you can shut up and finish killing these things." I was never happier to win an argument with Merle.

I think it was just the overwhelming sense of anxiety that made me almost frantic in my motions. I was dropping walkers faster than I ever had in the past. Too much was going wrong all at the same time. Daryl and his group had been gone a whole day, and Rick and Carol had been gone a few hours, there was a deadly sickness roaming our halls and the walkers were swarming our fences. Our happy escape was quickly becoming a nightmare, one I had brought a helpless infant into. I don't know how long it took, but soon the group of walkers on this side were gone, all piled beside the fence. When we got a chance we would have to clear them. But for now, Merle was dragging me up to get a drink and Maggie was going to check on her dad and Glenn.

I sat at the table and cradled my head in my hands. My arms were shaking and my head was pounding. "You don't look too good." Merle says, setting a cup down in front of me. "Maybe you should go inside and rest."

"God, that's all I've been doing. The past two days I've been in bed. I'm helping you. You need me."

"Daryl will be back you know."

"I know." I say lowering my arms and wrapping my hand around the cup. "I know he will, I just wish he'd hurry." I giggle a little, trying to lighten the mood. "Maggie looks like she's three seconds from falling apart, we can only fall one at a time. And she's closer than I am."

"I don't know, she still hasn't threatened to kill anyone yet."

"If we're lucky a walker will get her while her and Rick are out. Rid us all of her stupidity."

"Are you really saying that for us, or for you." I look up from the table and look at Merle, he was a lot smarter than he let on.

"I have to go check on Shayla, I'll be back in a second."

I wipe my hands clean as I walk back to the administration building. While my head wanted me to get busy and keep busy, my body was forcing to me to keep on a schedule. I walked down the hall and the cries of a baby seemed to echo off the walls, but I was surprised when they ended up being Judith's and not Shayla's. poor Beth, she was probably dying of boredom. I open the door to the warden's office and Evelyn is sitting in the chair reading a book. "Hey, how is she?" I ask closing the door behind me.

"She's okay, she's just up and looking around." Evelyn stands up.

"Do you mind watching her in a few minutes? There's some walkers on the fence and they need some help with them."

"No problem, just come get me. I haven't seen a baby in a long time. My little brother was about three when this happened. I haven't seen him since we were all in Columbus."

"Maybe you'll see them again."

"Maybe. Just let me know when you need me."

The door closes behind Evelyn and I go over to the mail box and smile down at Shayla. "Hi baby." I reach in and pick up. "How are you doing? Are you hungry?" she just makes a few cooing noises and I sit down in the chair. I rock her back and forth and look out the window. I laid my head against the wall and close my eyes. It was hot today, but there was a much better breeze coming through the window today. It felt nice on my skin. I yawn and keep rocking. This was a nice break.

My eyes snap open as my arms slack and Shayla goes sliding down my arm. I panic and tighten my arms again, but the drop had already startled her and her cries hit my ears. "Oh my god, Shayla, Shayla I'm so sorry." I hold her tight and secure, but she keeps crying, my heart is beating fast, I'm trying all I can to get her to stop, but she doesn't. and I couldn't blame her, I had almost dropped her. I wouldn't trust me either. I quickly stand up and set her down in the mailbox before I quickly head out the room, Evelyn was sitting in the hallway with Carl, but I quickly went by them.

As I walk all I keep thinking was that I almost dropped my child. She was twp days old and I almost dropped her! maybe I really wasn't up for motherhood.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

I had replaced several batteries, but for some reason this bitch was just being complicated. Bob was just leaning against the building, he had shied away from us taking Zack's car back at the prison, guilt could eat away at you, I had saw it almost destroy Rick, Bob didn't deserve to let his feelings fester. "You never told us about the group you were with before."

"Which one? You know, when you found me out on that road, I almost kept walking."

"Why is that?" His response is mixed with a humorless laugh.

"'Cause I was done being a witness. Two times, two different groups. I was the last one standing. Like I was supposed to see it happen over and over, like it's some kind of curse." He falls silent again, I glance over at him, his eyes are downcast, but I can almost see the gears grinding in his head before he continues. "But, when it's just you out there with the quiet….used to be I'd drink a bottle of anything just so I could shut my eyes at night."

Alcohol was the worst thing on this earth. It twisted people, even if they didn't actually drink it, it can still damage a person. As I messed with the battery and listened to Bob's story, I had to push back my own memories. My mom was the same way Bob is. Carter drank all the time, mom at night. Just so she could stand to lie next to the man, so she could close her eyes at night.

Our run-down trailer always smelled of booze. Hell, even the belt Carter used to dish out punishments seemed to smell of it. Merle did too, for the longest time after I got old enough to leave home and we lived together. But I never touched the stuff. I saw what it did, to the drinker and the people around the drinker. It turned Carter into an even bigger monster and it made my mom a ghost. One night she was so out of it she just sat there as Carter destroyed the kitchen, Merle and I in the process.

"Figured the prison, the people, thought it'd be easier. The run to the big spot, I did it for me."

"You gotta keep busy."

"No. I did it so I could get me a bottle." I forced my hands to keep going with their tasks. "Of anything." He continues. "I picked it up, I held it in my hand, but I put it down. I put it down so hard it took the whole damn shelf with it. That's what brought on the walkers, and that's what got Zack killed." I finally got the damn things in right. I looked up at Bob and all I could see was ghosts. He looked like Rick after Lori, just on the edge of being eaten up with guilt. We didn't have time for it now, and nobody deserved to go through it.

"That's bullshit." I say, his head snaps up, its obviously not what he was expecting me to say. But as much as I would love to stand here and talk feelings and shit, we had a job to do. "Why don't you get in there and try the engine? It's a red and a green wire." He hesitates, "Go on. It ain't rocket science." It's an instant relief when the engine starts up.

We all get in the car and I slide in the drivers seat, Bob is next to me, I look over at him, his mind is wondering. "Sasha and me picked that spot. We took you with us. There ain't no way anybody could've known." He looks at me, but I don't register his face, but my moms. The way she always looked at Merle and I after a bad night. The way she patched Merle and I up before she sent us off to school. I couldn't help her, but I could him. "You ain't gonna be standing alone, not no more."

We got on the road and the car fell silent, and I let my mind wonder off, I needed a clear head by the time we get to the school. I let the memories replay in my head. The first time I recall seeing mom that way, I wasn't in school yet, and Merle had kept me in the woods that whole night. when morning came he drug me back and the house was in worse shape than normal, she had a black eye, but she and Merle told me she had on too much makeup. They both worked hard to keep me from seeing the truth about our life. Too many times I just sat back and did nothing, I didn't tell anyone what he was doing, not even after mom died and Merle left, when it was just Carter and I. I hadn't done a thing. But this time I could.

And I would.

* * *

><p>Rick's PoV<p>

"How'd you put his shoulder back before? You learn that from Herschel?" I ask Carol as we grab some tomatoes from a plant that some housewife had probably planted for fun. I knew on the way here that I would not return to the prison with Carol. And becayse of that I felt I needed to get to know her a little more, understand her better.

"Internet. It's easier than telling an ER nurse I'd fallen down the stairs a third time."

"I'm sorry." And I really was. Her old situation hit too close to home for me, only Kelly had gotten out long before the world went bad.

"Don't be. Just fixed what needed fixing." She sits up and lets out a laugh. "I actually convinced myself I was happy with him. Which wasn't all that hard to do considering my idea of happiness then was just not being alone. Made a decent living. He was charming when he wanted to be, especially those mornings after he'd come home piss-drunk and Stupid." She goes back to picking the tomatoes. "I didn't think I could be strong. I didn't know I could. I already was."

I consider not saying anything, just moving on to the other things that was bothering me with her, but I felt I needed to say it. "Domestic abuse cases are a strange thing, some of the mind-sets victims of it have is unreal."

"Guess as a cop you saw a lot a of them."

"I did. But there was one case that hit home, it was personal."

"Who was it?"

"Kelly." I say and Carol stills her movement and she looks at me, confusion in her eyes.

"What?" she asks.

"I know, you wouldn't think so looking at her. but she survived it too. She met him in college, he charmed his way into her heart, turned her away from me, from my family. She did the same thing you did, convinced herself she was happy, that he wasn't a monster. She fixed what needed fixing."

"How did she get out?" She seemed genuinely concerned, but I had a feeling it was more out of curiosity.

"Shane and I got her out of it. We got sick of her avoiding us, went over to their house to see her, walked in on him kicking her while she was pinned down on the ground by the sink."

Then I gave a humorless laugh. It had been years since that day, yet I can vividly remember almost every detail. If I really thought about that day I could even still hear her screams, begging him to stop, then begging Shane and I to stop. "It took her longer to get over him than it did for you with Ed."

"He died. Didn't have much of a choice."

"Why don't you say his name? Even Kelly says Phillip's name."

"He's dead. Doesn't matter."

"What about hers? Why not your daughter's name." I finally ask what I've been wanting to ask her for over a year. Carl and I talk about Lori all the time, Hershel about his wife, Glenn his family, we all talked about those we lost. All of us except her.

"She's dead, Rick. Sophia. Ed." She brushes her hands on her pants. "They're a part of somebody else's slideshow."

She stood up from the plant. Her face stone again. She reminded me of Shane. No regret in her actions. But no matter the motivation behind her actions, what she did was still wrong. And when we got back Tyreese would demand and answer, then he would kill Carol. Then something would have to be done about him. Leaving her here would make it all easier. And it would make everything safer. If Daryl didn't get back, if we lost the prison, I didn't want her around. I couldn't trust her.

She had to be left behind.

Left behind so my family, so my home, could be safe.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

I carry the heavy jug filled with water to cell block A. I set it down outside the locked door before I walk over to the window that we could talk through. It was in the actual execution room that made me feel very uneasy. But Hershel soon came walking up on the opposite side of the glass. "What are you doing out?"

"Evelyn in watching Shayla, Maggie and Merle needed help. And I was just pacing in there."

"Your daughter needs you."

"This place needs me."

"Kelly, you're lucky I'm over here or I would thump you in the head. What has you so scared about being with that baby that you're running out on her."

"I'm not running out on her, I'm trying to keep this place going for her." he opens his mouth to reply to me, but something catches his ear and distracts him.

"I don't have time to fight with you. but you have from now until Daryl gets back to find a helmet. Cause I'm gonna thump you good."

"The water is outside the door. Is Lizzie okay?"

"She's reading "Tom Sawyer."

"That's a good book. Tell her Mika's okay. I'll be by later." I swear Hershel is already gone before I even turn around. He looked exhausted, but he was doing his thing, what he always did. He was being the rational one.

I head back outside and Merle and Maggie are dealing with another build-up, I grabbed my weapon and was on my way down to the fence when the sound of an engine cuts through the air. I focus on the road and then I run to the pulley when I see Rick's car coming up the road. As the car goes through the gate I only see one figure in the car. My heart speeds up, if Rick wasn't in that car…

I close the doors and turn just as Rick steps out of the car, and relief floods my chest. "Carl, Judith, are they okay?"

"They're fine Rick-."

"Glenn, Hershel, Sasha?"

"They're all still alive, it's bad. But they're fighting it. Daryl isn't back yet." He just nods and leans against the car. "Where's Carol? Did she finally drive you as crazy as she drove me?" I say with a giggle, but the look on his face when he looks up stops me.

"It was her. She killed Karen and David." He walks over to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. "Should have listened to you."

"I didn't think she could do that."

"She was trying to stop it from spreading. Tyreese is gonna be back here soon, so I didn't think she should be here."

"Ty would have killed her." I go up to my brother, he needs to know he did the right thing.

"That wasn't my only reason for it." He looks at me. "I couldn't have her here. not with everything that's going on. Not with what could happen."

I squeeze his hand, he lets out a sigh before he starts heading back to the car. "She has a car, supplies, she'll figure it out. I'll tell Hershel, but nobody else needs to know right now."

"No problem. Rick, I wouldn't have brought her back either. You were right to send her away. Don't doubt yourself." Rick just nods.

"We don't get to anymore." He slams the trunk down when Maggie comes running over.

"Rick, the cluster's getting bigger than the one that took the fence down. We need to do something!"

"We will." Rick says getting back in the car and driving back to the prison. Maggie and I go back to the fence with Merle.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

There is this strange feeling that I always feel after I blow up at something. I'm still heated, but I don't feel like beating him to a pulp. Michonne and Ty were looking at the map trying to find us a quick route back to the prison, and Bob was being ineradicably smart in staying out of the car for the time being. I was calmly fiddling with the jade stone I had found, but I was anything but calm.

Bob had crossed a line, I guess that what I said before we got to the school just went in one ear and out the other. I don't get how Kelly can stand constantly putting herself out there for other people and always get let down but keep doing it. How many times had she put herself out there for Shane, only for it to end in disaster? But I know that she would do it again if she could. But I sure as hell wasn't going to stick my neck out for Bob anymore. He made his choice, and the bottle was it. And he was going to stay far, far away from Shayla.

I hate alcohol, and it sure as hell wasn't going to become an issue in the prison.

"…seven hours to get there." Michonne's voice sounded closer, I guess they made a decision on our route.

"We're gonna need more gas." Tyreese said.

"But we'll get there." I look up as they break and get in the car. It would be dark in seven hours. But we would get there.

"Taking Highway 100." Michonne says as she gets in the drivers seat.

"I heard." I straighten up in the seat and shut the door. Bob gets in behind Michonne, I contemplate throwing something at him. but I don't. hopefully he was feeling as guilty as I was feeling pissed.

We're on the road for an hour or so, the silence is tense, but it seemed like there was a lot of thinking going on, thinking from all in the car. "You were right." Michonne says, looking over at me. "About what you said before. About the trail going cold." She pauses and looks back at the road. "I don't need to go out anymore." I look over at her, and suddenly I'm not so angry. She was letting something go. something that major go. maybe I could learn from that.

"Good."

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

Merle, Maggie, and I were cutting the trees we had stacked into posts. We were going to use them to prop the sagging fences up with them. My arms were burning, but I loved being busy. "How's Shayla?" Maggie asks as we carry another post to the truck.

"She's okay."

"Is she eating okay?"

"Ya." We shove the post on the truck and we get back to the pile.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea, I just want to get this done." I say as I grab the saw and start sawing a point. A few minutes later, just as we're all getting in the truck Rick comes down, pulling gloves on his hands.

"Going to the fence?"

"Yea, get in the back with me." I say as I climb up and sit on the posts.

We get to the fence line and the walkers are back, louder than ever. We all get out and start Merle and I work on one side and Rick and Maggie get the other. Rick has never been one to work in silence, that's why he always listened to his music while he played farmer brown. "I just talked to your dad." He says to Maggie. "He looks good, all things considered."

"If Carl were sick, would you be up there with him?" Maggie asks, she really did not like that Hershel was in block A, and I cant blame her.

"If I thought I could help." Rick says, kicking a post in place.

"You don't think I can help?" Maggie says, tying the upper part of the post to the fence.

"I didn't say-." Then Rick suddenly falls to the ground, but Maggie quickly chops off the arm of the walker that had a hold of his ankle. Rick chuckles as he stands back up. "Damn. I'm just glad you're out here with me."

The sun was getting lower, and I was very glad, it was getting cooler outside and making the work a little better. We're back to the wood pile cutting more posts. But a gunshot freezes all of us in our actions. I almost drop the post I had in my hand on Merle's foot. "Go." Rick says, looking at Maggie.

"The fence is more important. We need to keep it standing." Maggie says, but her eyes are locked in the direction of A block.

"I got this. You and Merle, go." They hesitate, but Rick yells at them. "Go!"

They take off in a run towards the prison. Rick helps me get the post in the truck. "I'm gonna go get Carl, can you keep sawing?"

"Yea, I can, are you sure you want to get him?"

"He'll be a lot of help. I'll be right back."

"I got this. Go on." I push Rick away, then I go back to sawing points on the posts.

* * *

><p>Several minutes later Rick and Carl come running down the hill. "I got six more cut. Let's just get them loaded and we can set them up."<p>

"Shayla's crying, Carl and I can do this-." Rick says, picking up a post.

"She's fine. Evelyn has her. You guys need help."

"Kelly-."

"Look, lets just get this done, then I can go see her. we have to get the prison safe."

We get everything back to the fence and we start propping the posts up again. "Think they're okay?" Carl asks, kicking the bottom of the post.

"If things were going bad, we would have heard more shots" Rick pulls on the rope.

"Or Maggie would have gotten us." I say handing them another post. "We have to do this." Rick moves to prop up another post, but then the post slips and Carl grabs it.

"All right, set it down." Rick says, then they get it pressed into place. Rick shakes it and it seems sturdy. "All right."

A snapping noise breaks the moment, we all turn and head over to the post that just snapped. "Rick, it's not holding!"

"I'll go get another post-." Another post snaps. Rick tries to drag another post from the pile to where the posts are snapping, but the walkers are squeezing against the fence, we all stab at several walkers, but as more posts snap the further in the fence folds in.

"It's coming down!" I grab Carl's arm and drag him away from the falling fence. "Rick! Run!"

"Dad, come on! Come on!" Carl yells.

We get in the base of the tower and Rick is running towards us, countless walkers behind him. When he gets in he slams the door shut behind him. he locks the door and Rick and Carl head out the other side as I stack several things in front of the door. Even though they'll probably go through the other dence.

"Dad, what do we do?" Carl asks as I come out of the tower.

"Maybe I could back the bus up against the fence."

"There is no way that'll hold." I say as we move back from the other fence, the walkers tearing at the end of the fence. Rick glances around.

"Come on."

He drags us over to where the guns and ammo were stacked up. He grabs extrea rounds and hands some to Carl and I. "Pockets." I shove several rounds in my pockets, then Rick hands us some guns. "Here. You got it?"

"Yea." Carl says, Rick drops down between Carl and I.

"Oaky, listen to me." then he starts showing Carl and I different parts of the gun, showing us how to use them. "Magazine goes in here." My hands copy his hands. "Release is here. Make sure it latches. Pull back the operating rod and rounds feed up. Keep squeezing the trigger for rapid fire, okay?"

"Okay." Carl says. We step up to where the walkers are about to come through the fence. He grabs Carl by his shoulders. "You shoot or you run. Understand?" Carl nods.

We stand tense, my heart is pounding. I had never been a good shot, and it has been a very long time since I've even shot a gun, let alone be this close to this many walkers with almost nothing between them and me. "Don't let 'em get close." Rick says. When they finally break through the fence I almost jump out of my skin. Carl and Rick's shots snap me back to life. I shaking pull the gun up to stance and fire off a few rounds.

The kickback is startling, but when several walkers hit the ground, I pull it again. They're pouring in, and suddenly I get angry at them. This was our sanctuary, our safe place. They weren't going to get any further than this. I felt completely different as I fired off the rest of my magazine. We took a few steps back from the hole in the fence, reloaded, and then started firing again.

* * *

><p>Next Chapter: Daryl and his group get back! Merle is finally gonna see Shayla, Gonna deal with Carter's death, and is that the one eyed monster I see?<p>

Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!

Pretty Please Review!


	7. Chapter Seven: Facing Fears

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **Ryan1441, sweetkiwi604, and mrskaz453! You all are the best!

**Thank You to the **55 favorites and 79 followers

* * *

><p>Chapter Seven: Facing Fears<p>

My shoulder was aching from the kickback of the gun, but I ignored it as I trailed behind Rick and Carl, stabbing the fallen walkers in the head, very few of them actually needed stabbing. Merle had joined us not too long ago, telling us what had happened in the cell block, at least Glenn and Lizzie were still alive. I was surprisingly numb about the ones we had lost, among them the sweet Dr. S who was one of the many who had helped me when I was huge and winey. Now he, along with several other people I had come to love were gone, yet I didn't feel like crying. I felt the beginnings of another headache flaring up behind my eyes. I had a sick feeling I needed glasses, given my headaches and blurry far away vision. My vision had been blurry before the walkers, I was not surprised that it was coming to this. Maybe on the next run I could grab a handful of glasses and see if any of them helped. Maybe Patrick's glasses were still laying around somewhere.

Our fence line was decreasing in length as the days past. The first section that fell was only standing on a prayer, it wouldn't take much to bring it down again. This new section would be down until the morning, and these bodies would lay here until then too. It was too dangerous to do anything with them tonight. In the morning we would clean up and move on. Just go day to day, fixing what needed fixing and doing what needed doing. We had been living a relatively normal life until a few days ago. I guess when it rains it pours and the universe decided we were having to easy of a time in the apocalypse. If only Daryl and the group would get back. I needed him.

"Why don't you go check on Shayla. We can take care of this." Rick says walking up to me and taking my metal stick from my. "She wants to see her mommy." I think about protesting, but I know if I don't go I'll have to deal with Rick and Merle, so I nod and walk towards the administration building. My rotate my shoulder several times and dump some water on my hands as I walk past the pavilion area. My shoes were covered in blood, but I was pretty clean, just really sweaty. I didn't want walker blood on Shayla. I didn't want her around it period.

I hear crying as I enter the building, and I can tell by the pitch it's not Judith. The closer I get to the wardens office I can hear Evelyn trying to sooth Shayla, but not having a lot of luck. A look of pure relief crosses her face when I walk through the door. "Oh thank god. She won't stop crying." Evelyn quickly walks over to me and holds Shayla out to me. A feeling of dread crosses my mind. I was tired and shaky, what if I dropped her for real this time? "She wants her mom." Evelyn says forcefully. I have no choice but to take her.

Her weight settles warmly in my arms and her cries lessen. Evelyn quickly leaves the room, probably in search of some quiet and sleep. But I stand still in the middle of the room and look at my crying daughter. My legs are tired, I carefully and slowly walk over to the chair and sit down, I tighten my arms until I get comfortable. She's still crying. I do what Hershel and Dr. S. told me to do to check if she was hungry and she didn't seem to be. Her diaper was clean. She wasn't feverish. I felt myself panic, what did she need? Why was she still crying?

I try to stay calm, but my mind was racing. Was I really so bad of a mother that, not only did I almost drop her, but I couldn't stop her crying? "Please tell me what you want?" I whisper to Shayla, she was still crying, but the longer we sat here it seemed to be slowly stopping. "Do you like it when I talk to you?" Her little eyes open, her face is red and blotchy, her mouth still in an angry O shape. "I don't know what to do Shayla. I'm not very good at this." There was a stinging behind my eyes. "I'm your mom. I'm supposed to know what to do. I'm supposed to be able to make you happy and keep you safe. But I guess I can't. I'm sorry I can't do better. I'm sorry I'm not the mom you deserve, and that I can't give you the life you deserve. I'm so sorry."

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

I felt immense relief when the prison came into view. Michonne stepped a little harder on the gas and I sat up straighter in my seat. The car ride had mellowed my temper towards Bob, and the fact that we were so close to home and he could redeem himself helped too. We were close to home; I was close to seeing my daughter again. I could finally hold her again.

Carl opens the big doors and Rick opens the second gate. My heart speeds up when I see the mess of the prison. Michonne doesn't even get the car stopped before Tyreese is out of the van and asking about his sister. Rick doesn't have any answers, not surprised considering how he looked and the pile of walkers behind him. Tyreese and Bob take off with the meds; Michonne goes down where Carl is coming back up the hill, I go over to Rick and Merle. "Is Shayla and Kelly okay?"

"I just sent Kelly back to the admin building. She's been out here almost all afternoon and night." Rick says. He looks exhausted, even now, after all this time, he doesn't look like the man I tossed a bunch of squirrels at.

"She's not supposed to be near anybody, Hershel has her restricted."

"Hershel's a bit preoccupied. He went in with the sick to help."

"I'll help here then I'll go see-."

"We need to have a quick word." Merle says to me, he glances at Rick. "You fine?" when Rick nods my brother walks towards the pavilion, motioning me to follow him.

"Are you sure this cant wait? Rick looks dead on his feet."

"It's about your woman."

"What about her?"

"She's about two holes short of her raft sinking into the ocean that's what."

"What?" I'm confused.

"She hasn't been right all day. She came down pretty early this morning, and she only checked on Shayla once, she didn't even go see her when Carl said she was crying. And when we were killing walkers at the fence she was way out of hand. Just stabbing over and over."

"She probably had cabin fever-."

"No, its more than that. Daryl, she didn't go check on her own child when she was crying. You need to go check on her now." Merle wasn't one for false concern, and I could see it in his eyes. If Kelly's behavior was so out there that Merle was calling attention to it, I knew I should check her.

"Tell Rick I'll be back."

"If you need me holler. She's having a rough time."

* * *

><p>As I made my way to the admin building I was thinking about all the things that could be wrong. Kelly had had misgiving about the baby since the start of the pregnancy, and Hershel and Dr. S had warned me early on that given Kelly's tendency to react badly to major issues that the baby might mess with her emotions, and with the added nightmares she had been having they said it was an even bigger possibility. But they didn't say it was going to result in possible neglect. I angrily push that thought aside. Kelly was a good person, there was no way she would hurt our child, no matter her mental state.<p>

There was crying in the hallway, it wasn't loud, but it was still there. I pass where Beth and ass-kicker were and it was silent inside, so the crying was from Shayla. I get to the door and I hear Kelly's voice over Shayla's crying. What I hear her say makes me both angry and sad. Why was she doubting herself? Shayla had been on this Earth three days and Kelly was freaking out about being a bad mother? It made no sense. Her last sentence about Kelly not being the mother our baby deserved had me inside the office.

Kelly's head turns and her eyes grow big. "Daryl, oh my god, Daryl." Then she's on her feet, Shayla tight in her arms, then she's flush against me. I wrap my arms around her, she's shaking and crying. Shayla's cries start to pick up as she feels her mother's distress.

"Shh, Kelly it's okay. I'm here." I say, not knowing what else to say. It has been a long time since I've seen her this upset.

"Okay." she says back, her voice muffled by my shirt and Shayla's cries. I hate to pull back, but I want to see my daughter. Kelly reluctantly pulls back, but almost gladly hands Shayla to me.

It feels like a lifetime since I've seen her, my eyes seek out any changes I might had missed, even though I know its only been two days and that she hasn't. She stops crying gradually. The longer I hold her the quieter she became, her face is beat red, but I smile when she lets out a huge yawn, her mouth growing to the size of her face. "Guess all the boo-hooing made you tired huh?"

"At least you got her to stop crying." Kelly says, she tucks her arms into her shirt and sits down in the chair. "She missed her daddy."

"Daddy missed her too." I look down at Shayla, her eyes are opening and closing. I look up at Kelly. "And he missed you. are you okay?" she looks tired, I cant remember a recent time that she hasn't. Ever since the CDC she has always had a tired look about her. but I guess that happened if you were constantly worrying about everyone else.

"I'm just tired, it's been a busy day." She stands up from the chair, "I'm gonna take a shower and change, you enjoy your daughter." She presses a kiss to Shayla's head and my cheek before she walks out the door.

I sigh as the door closes behind her. I was tired too. Maybe I should just leave her alone and see how she was tomorrow. Maybe a talk with Hershel or Dr. S. was needed. A little wiggle in my arms draws my attention back to reality. As out of it as Kelly seemed to be, she did give me some good advice. I had lost some time with my daughter, and while she would never know, I knew. I needed to make up for the two days I missed. So I lay down on the mattress that was still on the floor. I roll on my side and lay Shayla down next to me. I just stare at her, mesmerized by her. How could Kelly question herself with our daughter? Shayla was perfect.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

When I got back to the office Daryl and Shayla were sound asleep on the mattress. There wasn't room for me next to them, but I was okay with that. I was tired, but I didn't want to sleep. I had gotten a lot with the help of the pain meds, but I wasn't on them now, and I didn't want to miss watching them anyway. I sat down on the chair and was hit with something that felt like jealously. Daryl was able to get Shayla to sleep in less than five minutes, Daryl held her without hesitation, his face seemed to glow whenever he looked at her. and here I was, terrified I was going to hurt her.

I knew I wasn't the first parent to almost drop their baby, so why had that freaked me out so much? Maybe it was because I was supposed to keep her safe from walkers and I couldn't even hold her in a chair? Or guilt over trying not to get to attached while I was pregnant? Maybe it was feeling useless or like a burden? Hell, maybe a magical wizard messed with my brain while slept for all I knew. I didn't know why I felt fear around my own child. I loved her, there was no doubt about that, but I was afraid at the same time. I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

The sound of little cries jerked me out of my unexpected slumber, Shayla was hungry. She had woken Daryl up too. He sat up and pulled her into his arms and motioned for me to get by him. the mattress was pushed against the wall so Daryl sat up, his back against the grimy wall. I sprawled beside him, my back again his chest, and he handed me Shayla who was very enthusiastic about her meal. "I guess formula is nothing compared to the real thing."

"Formula?"

"She had to eat something while I was dealing with the walkers."

"Why were you out there anyway? Hershel told you not to exert yourself."

"I'm fine. No damage done, besides, Hershel was busy and Maggie and Merle needed help."

"Your brother was there."

"Not this morning he wasn't. He and Carol went on a run."

"Why?"

I looked down at Shayla, she was still eating, I brushed my fingers across her bald little head. I wasn't too worried with her right now, maybe if I stayed glued to Daryl's side for the next eighteen years I would make a decent mother. "She killed Karen and David." I say looking up at him. his expression doesn't change, his eyes just widen a little. "Rick didn't tell me details, just that he she killed them and he left her out there. With a car and supplies of course." I laugh, "No matter how crazy people get Rick always gives them a chance."

"Just like how you need to give yourself a chance."

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Merle told me about what you've done today, and I heard what you told Shayla before I came in. Why do you think you're a bad mother?"

I told him everything that had happened since he left, I was worried that he was going to laugh at me or be mad, but I should have known better by now. Daryl just held me closer and told me that he believed I could do it, that I would make a good mother. He told me what Hershel had told him about me. and it looked like his prediction was true. I was a mess. "I just cant seem to do anything right Daryl." I say looking at Shayla who was once again asleep, her tummy full and her diaper dry.

"Maybe it's more of a fear that you're going to loose her still."

"What do you mean?"

"When you were pregnant, you refused to do all that tummy talk junk you were supposed to do because you were afraid that she wouldn't make it. And now that she's here that fear hasn't gone away. if anything it's gotten worse. Because she is here, and there is a chance we could loose her."

"But even before walkers there was a chance of loosing a child. Why weren't women running around afraid of their children then?"

"I cant answer that, this is my first one. Maybe talk to Hershel? He had two, maybe he can give you some advice."

He sighs when I look down at Shayla, I was so unsure of everything. "Look, all I can do is be here for you. and I will be. Me and you, we just have to do all we can to keep her safe, and I know we will. Even if we have to kill a thousand walkers and keep people away from her. we will keep her safe."

"Did Merle talk to you about Carter?" I ask after we get Shayla tucked into her mailbox.

"What, dumbass complain that I punched him?" I wanted to ask Daryl why he did that, but what I had to tell him was more pressing than my curiosity.

"He's dead Daryl. He turned."

"But you cut off his leg?" he asks, stiffening up.

"He got the flu. Merle and I went in to get me some aspirin and he attacked us. Merle did it." I sit up after Daryl sits in silence for several minutes, he was still, but his mind was whirling, I could see it in his eyes. He was trying to process how to feel.

"Is he buried?"

"Not yet."

"I'll do it tomorrow."

"Daryl, I don't think you need to see him."

"Why?"

"I just don't think you should. Please trust me. he doesn't look the same."

"We'll see." He rolls away from me and looks into Shayla's box. He stayed like that for a long time. I wish I knew how to help him.

* * *

><p>I glanced down at Shayla who was laying awake in the body wrap sling as Daryl and I walked outside. We were all moving back into block C and I couldn't wait to be back. Beth, Judith, and all the kids had already left the administration building. Daryl and Merle had moved what little of my stuff was in the office to our cell. I couldn't wait for things to get back to normal. Daryl and I had talked a long time last night about my fears, he convinced me to talk to Hershel about them, and it sounded like a good idea.<p>

I wasn't at the pavilion two seconds before Merle came over and quickly took Shayla from the sling and ran off with her. I rolled my eyes and started digging around for something to make for breakfast. Michonne, Maggie, and Merle had been carrying out bodies all morning. It looked like there was only a few trips left. Rick and Carl were down by the crops. All the people in A had the medicine and the ones that hadn't actually gotten sick were out and about. I was so happy to see Lizzie and Mika running around together again. Maybe the hard time was a reminder of how lucky we were, of how safe we were.

I settled on making pancakes again, I loved them. And it seemed like a good way to start the first day after the sickness. But I soon passed the job over to Katy before I ventured over to where Michonne and Daryl were loading more walkers onto the trailer. "Hey, need a hand?"

"We got it, where's Shayla?" Daryl asks, tossing a runaway arm on the pile.

"Your brother. Ran off in that direction." I point towards where the pig pen once stood. "This is what we get for keeping them apart for so long." I grab a leg and Michonne gets the other one and we pull the last body on the truck.

"You wanna come with me to burn them?" Michonne asks, brushing her hands together.

"I don't know-." I look at Daryl.

"Go on, give ya something to do while Merle is corrupting our baby."

"Don't let that man spend too much time with her." Hershel says, making his over to where we were all standing. "He'll make her first word be a curse word."

"Kelly and I are heading out, wanna come with us?" Michonne says from behind the wheel.

"I never said I was coming."

"Well make up your mind." Michonne says as Hershel climbs in beside her.

"Go on. The sooner you go the sooner you'll get back and we can eat." Daryl says, tossing his crossbow over his back.

"Okay. What are you gonna do?" I give in.

"We're gonna dig some more."

"If she gets hungry-."

"I know, go." Daryl says giving me a small shove. I roll my eyes and blow him a kiss. I squeeze in between Hershel and Michonne. I wave bye to Rick and Carl as we drive out the gates.

* * *

><p>I'm hot and out of breath when we get all the bodies off the trailer and into another pile to burn. Michonne and Hershel get the gas cans while I drive the tuck up and away from where we're going to start the fire. We were going to be here for a bit, we couldn't just light a big fire and drive away, the last thing we needed was a forest fire heading towards the prison. I drive until Hershel motions for me to stop, indicating I was far enough away. I turn the truck off and step out.<p>

I lean against the back of the truck and watch them set the bodies on fire. "We need some marshmallows!" I yell towards them.

"Only if you have chocolate and a cleaner fire." Michonne says as she walks up towards me. "I think there are some stale M&M's in the glove-compartment. I love those things." She walks past me, and I look back towards Hershel.

"Kelly!" and a sharp thud is the only warning I get before Michonne's body colludes with mine, knocking me to the ground. I scream when I see Brian standing above us, his gun pointed at Hershel.

"Shut up." He says, his voice level and smooth. My heart is pounding and fear is gripping my muscles tight. Michonne groans and sits up, she stills when Brian's gun enters her field of vision. My hand snakes to my knife at my side, he's not watching me. he doesn't consider me a threat. I grip the handle tight in my hand as he orders us to stand up. I roll over on my knees and as I move to stand up I lunge at him, my knife raised, but I don't get anywhere close. He easily catches my arm and shoves me back down to the ground. He angrily pulls my knife from my hand. "Good to see you too Kelly."

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><p>Next Chapter: The long awaited confrontation between Kelly and The Governor!<p>

Daryl faces Carter's death, and the fall of the prison : (

Hope everyone enjoyed this short chapter, the next one is gonna be a long one.

Walking Dead finally returns Sunday! Cannot wait!

Pretty Pretty Please Review! They keep me motivated!


	8. Chapter Eight: Failure

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **DarylDixon'sLover, Mrskaz453, arrelmai, French Fries, Ryan1441, sweetkiwi604, HermioneandMarcus, 1lyndon, fangfiction6499, Ever, Abby, and my five Guest reviewers.

**Thank You to the **62 favorites and 96 followers

**Please Read: **I am so sorry this took so long to get up. School has been awful and thanks to all the snow the professors hit panic mode and that makes it all worse. Hope this makes up for the wait! Can't wait to see what you all think!

**Warning: **This chapter is a bit darker than normal, but it is a dark episode.

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><p>Chapter Eight: Failure<p>

Daryl's PoV

I watch them disappear into the trees before I go off in search of my brother, he and I needed to deal with Carter, as worthless as he was, he was still our father. Merle wasn't too hard to find, a one handed, huge man stalking around with an infant in his arms muttering in baby talk was quiet the sight. "Hershel said I shouldn't let you around my daughter unsupervised."

"Why not?" he says, not taking his eyes off Shayla. "We've been having a great time, she loves her Uncle Merle."

"Language development."

"He don't know what he's talking about. She's gonna talk just fine."

"How about you go give her to Rick and we go take care of Carter."

"Let Maggie take care of him, I could careless if he was burred or burned."

"Merle, he was our dad-."

"And when the hell did he act like?" he asks, his voice raised and Shayla jerked in his arms. Merle gave her a little bounce then he lowered his voice. "If you want to waste time and energy digging and dragging for that asshole that's on you. I'm not wasting one more second of my life giving him so much as a thought." He turns and walks several angry steps away before he stops and turns back. "Don't waste your time on him little brother, he wouldn't give you half a second. He's dead, let him go."

Merle walks up towards the prison with Shayla still tight in his arms, I knew that a lot had happened between Carter and him, and at times I wondered if more happened than what I knew of. His attitude had always been ten times worse than mine as far as our father was concerned. More fights always happened when Merle was home, but I was also hurt less. I knew Merle had taken beatings for me, I knew he had gotten me out of the house several times when Carter was drunk. Maybe he had a point, why waste an hours of my time for a man who wouldn't waste a second of him on me?

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

We get shoved into a camper trailer and the door slammed behind us. Michonne is bleeding from her head and Hershel was getting her to the couch to look at her. The rope that is keeping my wrists together is digging into my skin and my legs are too shaky to stand up on them. "Kelly, I need a rag or something to stop the bleeding." Hershel's voice sounds so far away, I'm still slumped against the floor, and I can't seem to focus on anything. But Hershel's face swims into my line of sight, his hands close over mine. "Kelly." He shakes me, "Kelly, listen to me!" another shake. "Listen to me, Kelly, now!" his yell finally clears the fog of fear in my head.

"It's Brian."

"I know, but right now we need to clean Michonne's injury, can you go look for water or a first aid kit?" I slowly nod and Hershel pulls me to my feet.

I feel along the wall on my way towards the back of the trailer, I'm still shaking, I still have to blink my eyes repeatedly to keep my vision clear, my heart just breaking as my mind fills with all sorts of scenarios that he could play out with us in his grasp. The back room has a big bed with fluffy pillows, it's probably a gazillion times softer than the cots at the prison, but all I wanted was to be back there.

I check the closet, under the bed, and on a self, I check the nightstand and almost jump out of my skin when it falls apart in my hand, the bottom on the drawer has a few tiny nails sticking out of it. I pick it up and look at it, I could hit him with it when he came in, but that would only deal with him temporarily and not his goons outside. I look up and gaze around the room. My heart speeds up as I stand and charge towards the window on the opposite side of the camper than the main door. I slowly pull the blinds apart and peer out, not a single person or camper, just the woods and a big dug out pit. I pull the blinds up and I feel some of the fear go away, this window was a fire exit.

"Hershel!" I say excitedly as I go back to where he and Michonne were.

"Did you find a first aid kit?"

"No, but I found a way to get out."

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

"Daddy has someone who wants to meet you." it ad taken some doing but I finally got my daughter from Merle, but my time with her was short lived since I was taking her down to Carl who hadn't gotten to hold his new cousin yet. Him and Rick were hoeing the corn when I got down to them. "Someone wants to see professional farmers at work." I haven't seen Carl drop his tools any faster than he did as he eagerly came over to us.

"Is she awake?"

"Been with Merle all morning, you want her?" Carl nods and I hand Shayla over to him, Kelly needed to get the boy pinned down so he could get his hair cut, maybe she could do that when she got back. "She hasn't eaten since before her momma left, go see if she's hungry." He looks at Rick for permission before he slowly and gently walks towards the prison.

"How's Kelly?" Rick asks bending down and picking up Carl's fallen how. "She looks pretty bad."

"I don't know, before Shayla was here I could understand her issues, why she didn't want to get attached, but now? I don't understand it. Shayla's here, she's healthy, she's here, the prison is safe-but she still won't-."

"She doesn't really act like she's there?"

"Yea, just giving her away, it took me a long time to convince her to carry Shayla out here. I'm worried about her." Rick hands me the hoe. "I haven't farmed since I was a kid."

"Just don't hit the yellow stuff."

Rick gets to work; I stare at the tool for a few seconds before I join him. "I know you know about her relationship with Phillip Blake, did she ever tell you she's had been pregnant before?" I plant the hoe in the ground and look at Rick.

"She was?"

"Twice, once during and one at the end of that mess. The first one she took those pills, I didn't know about that one until several years later. But I knew about the second. She drank a lot after we got her out of that mess. She lost the baby. I found out at the hospital that she knew about the baby, but drank anyway." I kept my face blank, but my mind was racing.

How was that even possible? How could Kelly purposely do that? She was too kind for that, too straight. She was panicked when she found out about Shayla, but once we accepted what was going on she took precautions, ate right, and worked less. And now Rick was telling me she had purposely killed her child?

"I know nothing I can say can justify her actions, but look at it from her point of view. The baby's father was a monster, a monster with money and a lawyer brother. She wasn't right for a long time Daryl. If I could show you pictures of her from that time you wouldn't think they were her. She wasn't healthy in any sense of the word."

"How far along was she?"

"Three."

I grip at the handle of the hoe, no wonder she had such a hard time with Shayla.

"Daryl, she's different now. She would never hurt Shayla, she loves her. She loves you." he looks up at the sky and shakes his head. "It's sad that her life is almost completely better in the apocalypse than it was before. It took her a long time to deal with what she felt for you, just give her some time. She'll be able to let go of her guilt and look at Shayla without thinking about the baby she lost."

"I always have to give people time. No matter what is going on time, time, time. Time is all we have left."

I gave Rick back the hoe and I went to go find my brother, I was going to ask him about helping me with our father again. With or without him, I was going to give Carter the time he never gave me.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

"We can't all leave, that will push him into action sooner, you go." Hershel says after I told him about the exit. They managed to get my hands apart, the rope still clinging to my left wrist.

"But if we all go now-."

"We don't even know how far from the prison we are. Hershel's right. We need to stay, you need to go."

"I'm not leaving you here with him."

"You're in more danger than we are." Hershel says, flipping the ripped piece of my shirt on Michonne's head.

"Are you kidding? He's out for her blood; she's the one who needs to go."

"There isn't time to stand around arguing this. If you're going to go it needs to be now." Hershel fixes me with a look almost begging me to go. I look between him and Michonne, not wanting to leave either of them in his hands.

"I'm a better fighter than you," Michonne says reaching forward and tugging at the knot at my hands, I wished she could have loosened them. "You need to go. Now."

I stand up and look at them with a sad smile. "I promise you, I'll get you both out of this. I swear." I turn and head back to the bedroom, I pick up my broken board and slowly pull the blinds open again, still no one. I flip the lock and pull the stiff window open, each sound making me pause and listen for anyone. The screen is and easy fix because of the nails in the board, I easily cut the mesh out and all I have to do it get through the window and to the ground. I lean as far out as I can before I drop the board to the ground; the 'thud' it makes is made twice as bad when Brian's voice drifts from the other side of the trailer. I had to get out before he came in.

I swing my right leg over the window's edge before I push up with the other, my head hits the top of the trailer, but both feet are dangling off the outside. Brian's voice is getting louder. I grip the sides of the window as I lower myself out, the cut screen burns my palms and the outside of the trailer is hot from the sun. I'm still not touching the ground, even dangling out as far as I am, I have to just let go of the side of the camper. I close my eyes as I do, and bite my lip so I won't cry out when my feet hit the ground, sending a tremor through my ankles.

I quickly bend down and make a dash into the woods beyond the hole; I almost choke on the walker smell as I run by it. I get several feet into the woods before I stop to look at which direction I need to go. I position my body as if I were on the pavilion looking out at the forest; the sun would be on my right shoulder at this time, so to get back I have to keep it on my left. I wish I had paid closer attention to directions as we were being drug here, but I was in no position to pay attention to anything.

I didn't have time to get lost, I had to get back to the prison, back to Rick, before he hurt Hershel or Michonne, if I was too late I would never forgive myself. I promised both of them I would get them out safe, and I was going to keep that promise.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

Merle had refused again, I wasn't really surprised, but I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed as I walked down the hall towards the infirmary. Kelly had said she thought he was still there, and a part of me was hoping she was wrong. She had also said Merle had gone too far in killing him, no telling what damage he had done. I get outside the door and there is a very unpleasant smell coming from behind the door, he was still there.

I had had every intention of going in there and getting him outside, but now that I was here I felt my resolve shake. What did I really owe to this man? He was never there, didn't even show for my graduation, even though Merle had stayed out of trouble long enough to be there. I slide down the wall and pulled my knife out. It was an old thing, picked it up last summer when we were scavenging houses, nothing special, but it had helped me do more things then my father had. "Thought you were going to do this?"

"Thought you weren't?" I ask my brother without looking up at him.

"I think it's a waste of time, but you believe it's important. So here I am." I put the knife and stand up.

"Where's Shayla?"

"With Evelyn." Merle crosses his arms and looks at the door, if this was going to happen; I was going to be the one who had to make the first move. I turn the knob and push the door open.

The smell was worse in the room where he had been for over a day. Now, I had a pretty strong stomach, but the sight of what used to be Carter's face made it knot. "Jesus, Merle."

"I saved Kelly."

"A single pass would have done that."

"Like I told her, I've been wanting to do that for a long time." I just stand and stare, a huge dark pool of blood is all around his head, the only thing left on his face I can make out is his nose, and that has a hole in it too. "I'll get something to wrap him up in." Merle says before he walks out the door.

I've seen dead people, see walkers, and saw Dale ripped in half, this was the only time I've had to force myself not to turn away, that was all Carter had done in life, turn away from what he had done. But this didn't look like him anymore. The haunting eyes were long gone, gouged out in Merle's wrath. "Why do I feel sorry for you?" I asked to no one, but I wished someone would give me an answer. I should be glad that he was gone, he had done nothing but cause trouble since he got brought back, the only reason he laid off Kelly was because Merle threatened him. But he had ate more than was rationed, slacked off on his chores, crossed Rick a few times, all he had done was cause misery!

I felt myself get madder and madder, I lash out and kick at the body on the ground, then a few more times before my foot hits the blood and I slip on it. I catch myself on a table and my heart is racing and breathing fast. "Feel better?"

"Why can't I hate him?" I ask Merle as I stand up and move away from the body. "After all he did, all he's done, why can't I just hate him like you? Would make this easier."

"Because you're not me, Little Brother. You always wanted his approval, wanted his love. Then mom died and you lost what you had, then I left, all you had was him."

"He freaking sucked."

"True, but like you told me earlier, he's dad." Merle stretches out the blanket in front of him. "He's our dad."

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

I don't know how far I got before the calling of my name stopped me dead in my tracks. "I know you're out here Kelly. Come on out and this will be a lot easier for both of us." I swallowed and quickly looked for a place to hide, there were trees, but I hadn't climbed in months and I would probably fall. A few densely shielded areas were bad too because of walkers. I just had to outrun him. I had been moving at a diagonal line through the woods, wishing I knew exactly how to get back to the prison. "Even if you get back to them I still have Hershel and Michonne. And you're brother will want them back." He sounded closer than before; I couldn't let him find me.

I keep moving, and I cruse out loud when I pass a tree and a walker pops out from behind it. I grasp the board and swing it as hard as I can against the side of its face. The loud noises making my heart race more than the walker had. He was going to hear it and find me. "I don't want to hurt anyone, Kelly. All I want is the prison." He was so close now, if I kept going he'd catch up to me, I was slow and sore from having Shayla. My eyes scouted the land around me again; during my training with Daryl he had always expressed the importance of improvising and creativity. The tree the walker had hidden behind was big, and I was a little, littler than the walker I had just killed.

I press myself as much as I can against the tree and gripped the board tight in my hand. "I don't know how to explain this anymore to you. I'm not going to hurt you." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I didn't believe this murder for one second. But he was close. I turned my head side to side, looking for his shadow to see which side he would be coming from. "I get you don't trust me, but you have my word." He was near the tree, his shadow showed him on my left so I turned and held my breath; I took down that walker in two hits, if I could hit him in the right place-.

He enters my line of sight and I jump out and swing as hard as I can.

The board shakes in my hands and his cry of pain hurts my ears. I pull back to hit him again but he grabs it and hold it tight, I can't get it free. I kick out at his groin and I hit something and turn from him as fast as I can.

I get a few steps before something hard impacts with the back of my head, knocking me to the ground. I cry out as I hit the ground. I quickly roll over and see the board I had hit him with was what he had thrown at me.

Before I could even stand up he had me pinned to the ground, the side of his head bleeding.

"You and I are going to have a little talk." He says, his hand pressing my wrists into the ground, the rocks digging into my skin.

"Get off of me!" I yell, twisting and turning with all my might to get loose. I had to get free; too much was at stake if I failed. I kick at him, bending my knees and trying to remember what Rick, Shane, Daryl, and self-defense classes had taught me. I caught him on the back of the head a few times, my knee got his stomach and I got about an inch away before he grabbed me again, all my struggles stopped when his hand impacted the side of my face. "I see my brother's lessons didn't sink in enough."

My brain snapped back to the past, I saw the first time Phillip had ever hit me all over again. I had been as shocked and scared then as I was now. I blinked and I was back in the woods with the madman. "That's better." He says as I feel all the fight go out of me.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I already told you, I want the prison."

"Why though? What do you need it for?"

"Like I told Hershel before I discovered that you got away, there I people I need to protect, and the three of you are going to help me get it."

"Why not go back to Woodberry? Be the fucking Governor again!" his hand raised again and I used my free hand to punch him in the nose. He immediately covered his face and I wiggled out from under him. I got to my feet and moved away from him, he recovered and followed after me.

"Now I see why Phillip wanted you so bad, you were his challenge, his goal, he needed to break you."

"He failed." I yell back, we were in a weird game of cat and mouse now. In the struggle I had gotten turned around. I needed to go back the other way and the other way was blocked by Brian.

"He wouldn't have if big brother could have kept his nose out of it. Trying to be a man and save his stupid sister." He let out a cold laugh. "But from what Hershel says, he's changed, different. No longer in charge of the group. I find that hard to believe."

"He won't give you the prison!"

"But that's where you're wrong. If Hershel and Michonne won't get me in, I know you will. He hit the roof when he just saw you with a few bruises, how do you think he'd react if I sent a bullet through your skull?"

His question froze me in place, I knew he was a monster, but for some reason what he said unnerved me. "Or, if Rick is un-phased, what about your baby's father? What was his name again?" he froze and my heart was pounding so loud I swear it echoed in the trees. "Oh yes, Daryl." He laughed again. "Want to hear something funny, in the years you were with my brother, not a single baby. But a year with a redneck and you get one. If only my brother was here to see this."

At the mention of his brother a strategy clicked in my head. "You know what else funny? The fact you always said I was weak and Phillip was strong, yet who's alive in the world!? Who lasted the longest in a world were only the strong survive!" I wait a few seconds, maneuvering around tree after tree, trying to get turned around and not caught. "ME! It's me you stupid prick! I've lasted the longest!" Suddenly everything Phillip had ever called me came spilling out. "Your worthless, stupid, dumb, helpless, _weak_ brother couldn't hack it and ran into a pack of walkers!"

Right after I finally screamed out all my rage I ran, knowing I had pissed him off, and Michonne always said angry makes you dumb and dumb gets you killed. And him dying was what I was trying to get out of the situation. I got back in the direction I needed, but he was right on my heels, he had longer legs and if I had been fit I could have easily gotten away, but the pain in my head and pelvis was slowing me down, when his hand grabbed my hair and ripped it back I screamed in pain and defeat. He slams me against a tree a pulls my hands painfully behind me back. His voice is loud in my ears, causing my headache to increase. "The only reason you aren't on the ground bleeding from your gut is because I need you to get the prison. I told Hershel that I was going to do this peacefully. You cross me on more time and I will blow a hole in the fence and kill them all. Do you understand?" when I didn't answer he pushed my head into the tree. "I said do you understand?"

"Yes."

* * *

><p>He kept his knife pressed into my back the whole walk back to the trailer, he ordered the man outside the trailer to watch from the roof and shoot of any of us tried to leave again. Then he pulled the door open and pushed me inside. My head hit the carpet with a thud as he slammed the door shut. Everything hurt and what was worse was I had failed. Hershel drops down beside me and gently calls my name. When he pushes me over and I see his face I feel even more defeated. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He wraps his arms around me and rocks as I try not to cry too loudly.<p>

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

We did it, Merle and I had finally buried Carter, buried him and all his baggage. He wasn't religious at any point, so we took a board and hammered it into the ground. We carved Carter S. Dixon down the plank and his birth year, neither one of us could remember his exact birthday. Hell I could barley remember my own now. "This is what was missing the first time we thought he was dead. Tossing his ugly ass in the ground." Merle says, kicking the cross one last time to make sure it was sturdy.

"I don't think this was a waste of time. It's over. Assuming I'm around 34, this is 34 years in the making."

"Add five years to that and I'm satisfied." He puts his hand on my shoulder. "He's gone Daryl, go see your daughter. You have until I get out of the shower to spend with her before I'm snagging her again." He looks at Carter's grave one more time before he heads back up towards the prison. I drop down into a crouch and look at the cross. Merle would never be up here again, so I took out my old knife and carved "Father" in tiny letters at the bottom.

A tiny remembrance for the tiny role he had in our lives.

I washed my hands before I picked my baby up from Evelyn, she was drinking down a bottle and I wondered what was taking them so long to get back. I started walking around the block just soaking up this time I had with her, where all was quiet. It never stayed quiet around here for long, so I was going to take what I could get. "When your momma gets back the three of us are going to have some family time, this is the first time since you've been born that there isn't a crisis. Isn't that exciting?"

I pull the bottle from her much against her will, and I toss her over my shoulder and bounce her and pat her back until a cute and loud burp fills my ears. "It's a good thing momma isn't here, she'd say that wasn't lady-like. But daddy doesn't care what you do, especially if it'll scare the boys off. The earlier the better." I pick the bottle up and put it back in her mouth, she gets several drinks then a huge explosion rocks the walls of the prison, I duck down and press Shayla close to me as dust falls from the ceiling. The sound and the sudden movement must have scared Shayla because her cries were replacing the ringing of the explosion in my ears. "Shhh, Shayla it's okay. Daddy's here." I sooth as I pop the bottle back in her mouth. I grab my crossbow and hand Shayla back to Evelyn before I join Maggie, Beth, and Carl running out the prison. Tyresse, Rick, and Merle are coming from the other side. Rick yells at us to stay back, but when we get to the fence we all freeze. Several cars, trucks, and people are by a portion of the fence, but it's the tank that has my heart speeding up just a little. "Rick! Come down here." I'd recognize that voice, it was the same voice that had ordered Merle and I to fight. The brother of the man that had hurt Kelly, the man that had almost made us lose this place. He was standing on the top of the tank yelling at Rick. "We need to talk."

The sun is blinding most of my vision, I put my hand up to block the rays, I also count who I see, thinking of any way to keep the fight turned in our favor. Rick's voice is gravely as he yells down at the monster. "It's not up to me. There's a council now. They run this place." There is no pause at Rick's statement, the Governor yells back at him again.

"Is Hershel on the council?" My brain stops, I barley register the sound of more of our people coming from the prison to stand beside us. The Governor makes a motion and a woman leads Hershel from the front seat of a red car. I hear Beth's breath hitch, and see her and Maggie move closer to the gate. I feel myself panic, Michonne and been with Hershel, so had Kelly. "What about Michonne?" He asks as a man leads her from the same car, I can feel her anger rolling off her from up here. "She on the council, too?" my heart was racing, and I felt my blood boil as he motioned to the car again. "What about your dear little sister Rick? She on there?" Kelly is lead from the car, Tyreese grabs Rick's shoulder and Merle grabs mine.

It was like my vision could zoom and was locked on Kelly as she was pushed to her knees between Hershel and Michonne. "I don't make decisions anymore!" Rick yells down, he sounds worse than he did before. He eyes were glued on Kelly and not the Governor.

"You're making the decisions today, Rick. Come down here. Let's have that talk." He wasn't kidding about wanting to talk to Rick; I just didn't think Rick had it in him to deal with this anymore. Rick looks at me, his face asking if it was the right thing, we all had someone to loose, as well as the prison. But as I figured the numbers in my head, we didn't have a chance if this went bad. Which it probably would.

Rick looks at Carl who is stone faced, but his eyes are watery. As Rick walks down I press closer to the group, my eyes never leaving Kelly's shaking frame at the bottom of the hill. "We can't take 'em all on." Merle says, his eyes still moving over the group.

"We'll go through the admin building, through the woods like we planned. We ain't got the numbers no more." I say, thankful now that we had all those dam practice drills. "When's the last time someone checked the stash on the bus?" Merle asks, his hand still tight on my arm.

"Day before we hit the Big Spot. We were running low on rations then." Sasha says. "We're lower now."

"We'll manage." I say my eyes quickly shooting from Kelly to Rick then back to Kelly. "Things go south, everyone heads for that bus. Let everybody know." I tell Tyresse who asks "What if everybody doesn't know when things go bad? How long do we wait?"

"As long as we can." Or as long as it took me to get to Kelly.

I roll the laundry cart we have that's full of weapons and ammo close to where we were all gathered, Merle comes over as I load them up. "We'll get her out of this." He says taking a gun from me. "She's gonna be okay." I just nod and pass them out, only giving one to Bob when I see that he hasn't had a single drink. Rick is fidgeting around at the fence-line, Kelly is looking at him now, her head isn't at an upward angle. We all get in position, my sights set on the Governor, but my eyes on Kelly. I wished now that I hadn't forced her to go this morning.

But no matter how this was going to go down, I wasn't leaving without her.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

It was taking every ounce of self control not to cry. When the first blast to get their attention wiped out a guard tower I had screamed, we always had a person up there to keep watch. I saw everyone gather at the fencing at the top of the yard. They were blurry to me, but when they pulled Hershel from the car I blinked my tears away and I had been forcing them back since. When Rick came down the hill all I wanted to do was tell him to go back, he was too close. All it would take would be for the asshole in the tank to loose his temper and my brother would be gone. When Rick came down he didn't look at us once, and I know he did that so he wouldn't break, and that was Brian's plan. He needed Rick to break.

Brian Rick talked back and forth, Rick tried to talk reason, but it was going nowhere, he looked so tired. He still wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with this guy. At one point Rick as frustrated Brian so much he had Michonne's sword at Hershel's throat. Now I hated myself even more because I had failed earlier. I should have just shut up and ran, or tried to hit him again. Even though he hadn't escaped our encounter unscathed, he was still breathing and that was a problem.

The tank driver yelled at Rick, he reminded me of Merle when we first got him to the prison. Rude and bloody. But how Rick responded was close to magical.

"Look, I fought him before. And after, we took in his old friends. They've become leaders in what we have here. A man named Merle was his right-hand-man, he's up there, leading, even after this man," he points his finger back at Brian. "Shot him in the stomach and left him for dead." Rick points at me. "She saved him; she risked her life so he could live. That's what we do here." he pauses to take a breath. "Now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates you're one of us. Just like Merle, just like all of his people that he abandoned!"

His voice drops, filled with emotion as he continues.  
>We let go of all of it, and nobody dies. Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone who's made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. But we can still come back. We're not too far gone. We get to come back. I know we all can change."<p>

The air at the end of his speech was heavy, but not in a drowning way. Brian moved the sword from Hershel's neck, I glanced around me as much as I could, some of the people looked hopeful while others looked skeptical. Brian knew how to get a crowd behind him, but so did Rick. All it would take is one word and this would be resolved.

But the word we got was not the one I wanted.

"Liar."

His voice was so low, but I heard the malice behind it, and before I could even scream blood squirted from Hershel onto my face as distant screams filled the air.

* * *

><p>Next Chapter: The battle begins! Where and with whom is Kelly going to end up with?!<p> 


	9. Chapter Nine: Fight and Flight

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **Abby, sweetkiwi604, Guest777, Ryan1441, mrskaz453, kyolover16, Dean Winchester's Play Thing, DarylDixon'sLover, and my two Guest reviewers.

**Thank You to the **66 favorites and 104 followers

Sorry about the length, but I have BIG plans for this!

**Warning: **A little bit of cursing. And some flashbacks that are important for an arc.

* * *

><p>Chapter Nine: Fight and Flight<p>

_"We need to go." I look up from my seat at my brother, his eyes aren't red like mine or dads, I don't think I've seen him cry since we got home from the hospital. Shane is off behind him, looking uncomfortable in the suit and tie._

"_I don't want too."_

"_I know, just one more stop Kel, then we can go home." He holds his hand out and I take it, pushing myself off the chair and following my father out the door, the white hearse carrying my mother's coffin is already started and waiting for us. We get in dad's car, grandpa in the driver's seat, Rick, Shane, and I in the back. Rick was right, all we had left was the cemetery, then it would finally be over. I curl up against Rick and try not to cry anymore. But the closer we got the more I lost my fight, no matter how much I tried to hold everything in, the car was filled with my cries anyway._

* * *

><p>Everything was in slow motion, I heard screams from far away, heard my own scream, Rick's scream, and then a loud noise broke the fog, and when I woke out of my dream, I was under a vehicle, my head pounding as was my heart. I was pressed flat against the ground; I don't even remember crawling away from the fence. But if the sounds above me were any indication of the hell I was hiding from, I was glad I was under here. I wipe what I think is sweat off my forehead, but when I look at my hand I see its blood. I quickly wipe it off on the grass and drop lower to the ground. Not like I could get any closer.<p>

I take a beep breath and try to focus; my hands were tied together, but somehow they were in front of my now. I start crawling away from the fence line, but I freeze when Hershel wiggles into my vision. I clap my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming, he s covered in blood, his eyes wide and unseeing. I crawl towards him, but stop short when a sword slices through the rest of his neck, his head rolls away from his body. I look away and throw up what little I had for breakfast. I turn back and I can't stop my cry as his lifeless eyes stare at me. I quickly crawl away from him; all I can think of is how I had failed him. That it was my fault.

I get to the back of the vehicle and I'm about to pop out when I see Brian, he is holding the body of what looks like a little girl. He puts a bullet through her head before he hands her back to the woman. Brian stomps away, the anger radiating off him in waves. The woman walks away, the dead girl held loosely in her hands. I hesitate on the ground, I had no weapon, and if I just ran out in the middle of this mess I'd die for sure. Hershel didn't have his weapons on him anymore, and even if I did I couldn't look at him again. I look out again as the woman stands at the edge of the woods, my brain goes into overdrive.

"_Always think about what's available."_

Daryl had always said that, in every training session he had,

"_Options, what's open is what will keep you alive."_

I had never asked him just where he had learned to fight, he had said something about needing to learn to survive, I think he learned to protect himself from his father.

I reach down and pull my belt free from my jeans; I wrap the ends around both my hands. Then I look around to make sure the cost is clear, or as clear as it can be. Then I crawl out from under the car and run as fast as I can towards the woman who was standing, looking down at the body. I brace myself as I tackle her from behind, tossing the belt overhead and around her neck. She gives off a tiny scream, but I pull the belt tight, my heart breaking even as I pull it tighter against her throat. "Give me your knife." I say, leaning close to her ear. She's shaking below me, but surprisingly, she's not struggling all that much. "I won't hurt you, just give me your damn knife!" she's still shaking, but her hand moves towards her belt, I pull the belt tighter, "freeze!" she does as I tuck both ends of the belt in one hand. I pull the knife free from its holder. "Get out of here." I say as I quickly tug on the belt hard enough to give me a head start if she fought back.

When I turn back around the tank is tearing through the fence line, Brian's people are advancing towards the prison. I can't run through the main collection, but two cars are still parked, I dive under a different one and crawl forward. There are two people knelt on the grass firing weapons at the prison. I steel myself as I creep closer; I grip the knife tight in my hand as I slam it down in the leg of one of the people. I rip it out as he screams and grabs his leg. I quickly roll out from under the car, and go around to the front. The one I stabbed is on the ground, holding his leg; the other is looking under the car. I quickly run forward and stab the uninjured one in the chest as I kick at the other one. I pull out the knife and grab one of their guns and I take off behind the tank, but I'm far enough back I'm not noticed.

The tank is going straight, but I know a way around that will get me to the front of the prison in a safe way. Take off, my heart hammering in my chest, hand hands shaking, and my brain alight with worry. I prayed that my family was safe. I prayed I could find them.

* * *

><p>I get to the front of the prison in time to see a walker closing in on Daryl. I scream his name and he turns and stabs it in the face. He ducks behind his barrier and I run right to him. I fall against him, barley controlling my crying. "Oh god, Daryl!"<p>

"Are you okay?" he asks, his crossbow digging into my back, but I don't care. I found Daryl. I pull back.

"Where's Rick? Shayla?"

"I don't know about Rick, but Shayla is on the bus with Evelyn, everyone is on the bus. That's where you need to be."

"No, I need to find Rick-." I say, trying to stand up, but he pulls me back down.

"Kelly, I'll find him. You need to get to Shayla."

"But Rick-."

"No! You're her mother, she needs you." he fixes me with a stare and I don't dare say no. I nod and pull him into another hug. "I'll meet you on the bus as soon as I find your brother and Carl."

"I'll be waiting." I say, I hand him the gun. "You need this." I lean in and kiss him as hard as I can. He pushes me away and stabs the dead walker again; he uses it as a shield as I run to where the bus was parked. I send another prayer that we'll all get on the bus safely.

I run on the bus and see Glenn lying in the front seat. I scan the whole bus, screaming, asking where Evelyn was. "Evelyn! Where is Evelyn!?"

"I saw her heading this way, she was in C!" a random voice yells at me, I turn back around and run straight towards the main doors, the closets route to block C. Bullets are still flying, I see Lizzie and some kids running towards the bus, Judith bouncing in the carrier between them. I yell at them to get to the bus as I continue towards the prison. I bulled flies by my head as I climb up the steps and run into the prison.

* * *

><p>The inside looks calm, but the storm raging outside speeds my steps. "Evelyn!" I scream over and over, running from the main room to the cells. I start to think that I missed her somewhere when cries hit my ears. "Shayla!" I yell, I follow the cries into the hallway that lead to the rest of the prison. I almost tripped over the body that lay on the floor. "Oh god, Evelyn." I say, dropping to my knees beside her. She has Shayla in one hand, her other pressed on her belly.<p>

"A bullet went through the window." She chokes out. I pull a crying Shayla from her arms. "She's fine; I pinched her so you could find us."

"Can you move? We have to get to the bus?" I ask, even though I know there is nothing we can do. Our only doctors are gone.

"Just take her and go. Her bag of stuff is in your cell on the bed. I'm okay." she says as she wiggles her finger into Shayla's palm. "She's the important one. She's the future. Get her out of here."

I lean over and kiss Evelyn's cheek. "Thank you. I'm so sorry."

"Go." she says with a smile. It was one of the hardest things I had to do to stand up and leave her dying alone in that cold hallway. But Shayla and I had to get back to the bus.

I hold Shayla tight in my arms as I run up the steps towards Daryl's and I cell. I round the corner and grab the bag, flinging it over my shoulder. Just as I turn to leave I freeze and go back. I grab my old backpack from under the bed. I toss in the water bottles we had laying around, some full, some half full, I toss our box of granola in, and I grab mine and Daryl's jackets. I sling my bag and Shayla's over my shoulder. Just as I run out the door I grab the old feather necklace Daryl had given me ages ago. I shove it in my pocket as run out of the prison. Shayla crying with each step. I was so scared and she was feeding off my fear, making her almost panicky.

I try my best to shush her as I run, but I know once I get on the bus with Daryl and everyone that I'll be calmer and I can do more for her. But when I walk out of the prison, the yard is quiet and the bus is gone. "NO!" I scream, running in the direction of where the bus had sat. "Come back! Please come back!" but it wasn't coming back. Shayla was crying as loud as ever and so was I. We had gotten left behind. Daryl had let the bus leave without me.

I feel the world spin as I try to think of what to do. I couldn't go back to the prison, I would be trapped there, and it would only be a matter of time until the walkers got in anyway. I had to run, run or die. Shayla was hot and heavy in my arms, I could run right with her in my arms, I needed to get her in a sling, I needed my arms.

I hold her closer to me and I take off in a jog along the bus tracks, I needed to find a place to stop long enough and organize the mess on my back and get Shayla in a safer position. She was exposed and I couldn't fight off a walker one handed. She was still screaming, and as I ran I sang to her, trying to get her to calm down, but she wasn't and I wasn't helping. Babies fed off emotion and my emotions were all over the place. But the main one was fear.

* * *

><p>Merle's PoV<p>

"God-damned-stupid-son-of-a-bitch!" I cursed as I swung my arm at another walker as I walked after the bus. "When I get a hold of that asshole that drove off I'm gonna kill him." I was absolutely pissed off, what the hell was this Rick's damn groups and leaving me alone to die? Screw him, and while I was at, screw the damn Governor and his posse of pussys. "Stupid-cocksucking-." My curses fall short as the sound of a crying baby hits my ears.

I blink as I turn and strain my ears to hear the sound.

"_You hear that?"_

"_Yeah, wild animals getting wild."_

"_No, it's a baby."_

"_Oh, come on. Why don't you just piss in my ear and tell me it's raining, too? That there's the sound of a couple of coons making love, sweet love."_

I knew that sound now; I knew there was a baby. I start walking towards the sound. Ready to kill anything that might hurt it.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

I got as far as I could before Shayla's screams came too much for me to handle. I drop everything on the ground, fall to my knees, and pull my shirt off; I hold Shayla like a football and bask in the silence as she latches on. I lower my head and close my eyes tight. I was so tired, but I had to keep going. It wasn't safe here. Not in the open. But I had to feed Shayla first, I had to calm down. Her cries would attract walkers, I couldn't take on more than two at a time and they would be coming in waves after all that sound at the prison.

A flash of pure hatred flies through my chest. No amount of curse words could describe my intense feelings of anger at Brian Blake for what he had done to my home.

"Now isn't this a sight for sore eyes!" I snap my head up, my hand curling tighter around the knife at my side, but I drop it in shock when Merle comes walking towards me. "Must say you look a might safer than the last time I saw you."

"Oh god, Merle." I say as I stumble to my feet and launch myself against him, jarring Shayla and she protests, but I cling to Merle. He holds me back, his metal arm hot against my skin. But I couldn't pull away. I couldn't move for Shayla because I was filled with relief and joy. I wasn't alone after all.

Once I had composed myself enough to pull away, Merle had wasted no time in having me finish with Shayla while he combines the two bags I had into one. We then worked together and fashioned a wrap for Shayla out of Daryl's coat. She was nestled in the makeshift sling as Merle and I walked down the road, heading for the meeting point that the bus was supposed to be waiting for us. I walked as close to Merle as possible, my eyes constantly moving across the land and through the trees. We would find the bus. And we would be safe.

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><p><strong>Next Chapter<strong>: Merle and Kelly are alone with baby Shayla! And we get to mess around in crazy Merle Dixon's head a lot! Learn more about our fav crazy redneck!

**Please Read Note:**

**First thing**, sorry about the lateness and the time. I needed to see how the season was gong to go before I made my final decision about who Kelly ended up with, and since I'm still in the air I just decided to stick her with Merle and make it up as I go.

**Second**, I would like to know if you want me to explore the other's minds in this story. Like pop over to Daryl and poke his brain, or Ricks. Let me know what you think.

**Third**, I have huge plans for this story now! And I will try to get chapters up quicker, I am making this up, so I am asking for patience, and I will make the chapters longer.

Hope you all enjoyed this!  
>Pretty Please Review!<p> 


	10. Chapter Ten: Letting Go

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **DarylDixon'sLover, mrskaz453, kyolover16, Ryan1441, Guest777, sweetkiwi604, Abby, and my three Guest reviewers.

**Thank You to the **68 favorites and 109 followers

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><p>Chapter Ten: Letting Go<p>

Daryl's PoV

_"You're fucking ridicules. You try to force me to tell you something that's none of your business; you always seem to pop up when I need you, but you wont lift a finger or really defend anyone is the camp if they asked you." The bathtub was killing my neck, and her sudden mood swing was headed in a dangerous direction._

_"Watch it. Don't be pocking into things you don't know about."_

_"Stuff I don't know about? Are you kidding!? You we're willing to kill Jim for no reason, you had no sympathy for our group that were killed the night of the fish fry-,"_

_"This group left my damn brother tied up on a roof!"_

_"From what I hear he deserved it!"_

_"Merle is still a human being. And you're humanitarian brother gives more shits about his friend that's sleeping with his wife than my own brother."_

_"Get over it. You're not the only one who has lost someone."_

_"Watch you're mouth little girl." I threaten, glaring right at her._

_"Take an arrow and shove it up your ass." She yells as she stands up. She turns to the door and pulls it open. _

_ A strange, tall, one-eyed man stood in the doorway. She froze and stared at him._

_He moves his arm; something long and white is in his hand. He opens his mouth and yells as he swings the sword down on her._

_Screams seem to echo off the cold, tiled wall…._

* * *

><p>My eyes jerk open, before they snap closed again at the pounding ache in my head that spread all down my body. My lungs were on fire and my breath heavy. The ground under me was hot and dry; the birds circling overhead reminded me of vultures. Like they were waiting for us to die…<p>

I turn my head and see Beth lying beside me, she's breathing hard too, and suddenly I feel anger filling in my chest. Why was it Beth? Why wasn't it Beth with Shayla or Kelly with Shayla. Why wasn't it just Kelly? Why did I know this girl was okay, but not my own family? Kelly was supposed to be on that damn bus, she better be on that damn bus.

I close my eyes again and push up from the ground. We have to keep moving. Daylight was growing short and we needed some kind of camp for the night. Beth slowly stands up after me and I just start walking. The drill for evacuation was simple, everything on the bus then the bus waits for a day at the bridge. Kelly was at the bridge and the bridge was east. So we were going to go east.

Beth stays quiet as we walk, a good thing because that dream was on my mind. Where the hell had that even come from? That fight had happened right after the CDC and long before we had even heard of the Governor. It was our first fight if I was remembering right? My head was killing me so I could be wrong.

But it didn't matter. She was alive and she was on that damn bus with our daughter. They were safe and waiting for me. And I would get to them. No matter what I had to do, I would find them.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

"We have to find a place soon, Merle. It's getting dark."

"As soon as I find a car we'll stop." He says as he kicks a door closed on the third car we have passed. "That bridge is on the other side of that far hill. We should get there tomorrow." I nod and give Shayla a little bounce as we keep walking. My arms were sore but she wasn't staying in the wrap like I wanted. She was tense, her eyes constantly moving. Hershel had told me that babies picked up on emotion….I close my eyes and shake my head, I don't want to think about Hershel. I don't want to think about him ever again.

"Here we go!" Merle shouts, running even further ahead of me. I squint my eyes in the direction he went and I see a delivery truck. Merle pulls his gun out and shoots the side of it a few times. The noise causing me to jump and Shayla to start crying.

"Are you insane?!" I yell at him. "You just wasted three bullets and made a damn racket! What about the walkers?"

"I just made us air holes. They aint getting into this truck when we shut the door, and if I just shut that door, we will suffocate." He says, shoving the gun back in his pockets and pulling the big back door open. Then motions me inside.

I walk by him, feeling bad that I yelled at him, but if he would have warned me I could have covered Shayla's ears and she wouldn't be screaming right now. I go to the front and slide down against the wall, the skin on my arms catching as I do. Merle follows me in. he pulls his belt and jacket off. He balls the jacket up before he props it up against a corner. Then he pulls the door down on top of it, and then he uses his belt to tie the door down, creating an inch crack along the bottom of the door. "Now we can make sure the road is clear in the morning. Hand me her, you've had her all day."

Merle folds up her blanket and sets it on the floor between his legs. He lays Shayla on top of it and changes her diaper, pushing the dirty one out the door, then he makes faces at her and counts her fingers. She's not crying and that's all I care about right now.

There is light streaming into the truck and now that my hands are free I finally can see how dirty they are, finally see the blood that's on them. Everything I did back at the prison plays in my head. I had threatened a helpless woman, and I had killed a man. I had killed my first person. My stomach twisted and I sucked in a deep breath, there was nothing in my stomach to bring up, but that didn't stop the bile. I swallowed it back down and cringed at the taste. I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

Suddenly the sounds from Merle and Shayla are grating on my nerves. I need them to be quiet. I drop my head and cover my ears. I press my lips tight and press my nose against my knee to stop my crying. It was all over. There was nothing to live for anymore. Everything was gone. The prison, our safety, my friends, my family. Oh god my family. Was Rick even still alive? What about Carl and Judith?

I knew Daryl was alive; the only question was where was he? I had told him time and time again that he would be the last one standing in the end. It was only a matter of time before Merle and I were killed. We were alone, in the woods, with a helpless newborn. I may not be a newborn but I was no good at this survival stuff. And what little Daryl had taught me was very rusty. Rick wasn't much better off anymore. He hadn't been anything but a farmer in months. If he did make it out of the prison he wouldn't last long either.

No, none of us would make it. But Daryl would. He had too.

I lie down and curl up in the corner. I needed to sleep. Shayla would be hungry soon and Merle would have to sleep sometime. I might as well get my sleep out of the way. I pull my arms inside my shirt after I tuck the backpack under my head. I fiddle with the feather at my throat and think about the day he gave it to me. Back when we were on the farm, another place we had thought was safe and we had lost.

The loss of the farm had been devastating, but this was worse. Maybe the loss of something to walkers was more tolerable than the loss of something at the hands of a madman? But the farm should have meant more, I lost more people there. Sophia, Dale, Shane….

Shane. What would have happened if Shane was still alive?

He would have put a bullet in Brian's head at that first meeting at the feed store. Shane had always been shoot first, question later, even before the walkers.

Would we have still lost the prison if Shane was alive? Maybe.

I sigh and adjust. What ifs were stupid. There was nothing that could be done now. Shane was dead, so was the prison, so was Brain and his mob. But so was my family. My niece and nephew, my best friends, my brother, and Daryl. All gone. I would probably never find them again.

Merle wanted to find the bus, but I knew Daryl wasn't on it. He would not have let that bus leave without me, and since it left he wasn't on it. I had tried to tell Merle this but he wouldn't listen. He felt sure about the bus, and he was a Dixon, so I am just going to let him have his say. Let him be disappointed when we get there.

* * *

><p>The morning had been very slow in coming, Shayla had been fussy most of the night and more than a few walkers had beat on the side of the truck. But we made it though the night, and Shayla was lying in a box as Merle skinned the squirrel he had killed and I worked on starting a fire. We had found two more bottles of water under the seats of the truck we had slept in, but we would need more soon. I cover my mouth as I yawn then I blow on the fire again, praying it would keep up.<p>

Merle sat beside me spinning the dead body in the fire. "We should reach the bus by noon."

"Then what?" I ask, passing him the bottle of water we were splitting.

"We'll see what they say. But finding a town would be helpful. Winters coming. Not many squirrels will be bounding around."

"What if no one is there?"

"They will be."

"But what if they aren't?"

Merle looks at me and narrows his eyes. I feel uncomfortable under his gaze, but I don't look away. "They will be there Kelly. So stop acting like all hope is gone." He turns back to the fire and pulls the squirrel from the stick. He pulls it apart and hands me a piece. "Eat, then were going to move. Not safe here." we eat in silence, he gets done before me and he scoops Shayla up in his arm, he is getting very good at doing it one handed. "I'll change her, you finish up."

I finish the meat even though I don't really feel like eating. I put out the fire and cover it in dirt. We pack up our stuff and Merle gets Shayla bundled up in the wrap and we start walking. Its quiet between us, Merle is glancing around every now and then, but we're keeping a fairly brisk pace. We have to stop because of Shayla a few times, but just like Merle said, around the middle of the day the bus came into view.

Merle has me stay back as he goes up to it, "safety first" he says as he carefully moves towards it. I bounce Shayla a few times and strain my eyes trying to see. The bus is in worse shape than it already was, several windows are missing or shattered, more bullet holes are along the side, and the door is wide open. I walk a little closer towards the bus as Merle goes around the back of the bus.

Shayla starts to fuss in the wrap and I gently pull her free and hold her, her little legs kick the air, grateful for the room to move around, but she is still fussing, short cries fall from her little mouth. "Hey, what's the matter?" I ask as I start walking in little circles. "You're not wet and we just stopped to feed you. You shouldn't be unhappy right now." But she was and was slowly letting me know it. I tossed her over my shoulder and started patting her back, maybe she was gassy? I turn to walk back towards the bus when a couple walkers stumble out of the woods.

I start walking backwards, Merle is making a lot of noise by the bus so they don't notice me, but they didn't need to catch Merle off guard either. I pull my knife out of my pocket and try to slip Shayla back into the wrap, but she doesn't want back in it and starts to cry, the sound catching the walkers' attention. "Merle!" I yell as the walkers turn towards me. I keep moving backwards, Shayla is still crying, but Merle is running from behind the bus. I can't risk Shayla getting hurt so I can't take care of them myself.

"Behind you!" Merle yells as he throws his knife into a walker's skull. I hit something behind me, so I quickly spin around, slashing my knife through the air.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

The bus was a dead end. Our people who had managed to make it to the bus hadn't lasted long after they left the prison. When Beth and I got to it there was a pile of walker bodies and the bus empty. I looked at each walker, recognizing almost all of them, but Kelly and Shayla weren't among them. I didn't know if I should be happy about that or not. At least they weren't dead, but now I had no idea where to start looking for them. I had hope for that damn bus, hope of finding my family, of finding my brother. Hell, I'd even settle for finding Rick at the moment. Just somebody other than Beth. Someone who could make it alone if needs be.

It was night again. We were taking shelter in the back of a van, Beth was asleep in the middle seat, I was in the trunk, and my head was against the window trying to get what little breeze was blowing in through the open window. It was a nice night, the stars were bright in the sky, my eyes kept glancing back to the big dipper.

"_Did you know that when I was a kid I could find every planet you could see in the sky? I could also find a few of the constellations." _

One of the many pointless conversations Kelly and I had ever had was about that stupid constellation. In the back of this old truck just a few months before we found the prison. She was so different back then. I was different too.

I shift and hear the stupid watch she had given me at her fake Christmas clink in my pocket. I always wore it even though it served no purpose anymore, the battery was dead and we hadn't found a new one yet, and I probably never would now. She was so nervous about giving it to me, explaining everything about finding it and why she got it. Like she thought I wouldn't want it. But I couldn't blame her, I was nervous about giving her that stupid necklace.

I sit up and climb out the side door. I didn't have time to dwell on the past. Cause it sure as hell wasn't going to help me now. Hell, it wasn't going to help me ever. Everything I had with Kelly was pointless. Even if she made it out of the prison I would never see her again. The same applied to my daughter. She was days old and was missing. Evelyn hadn't been on the bus crew, so no telling where Shayla had ended up, if she even made it out of the prison.

I start to shake, horrible thought and images fill my mind of my innocent, helpless baby being torn into by walkers, or crying all alone in hunger in her little mailbox at the prison. I yell and kick at the ground before I drop down beside the van. I needed to get a grip cause it didn't matter anymore!

Nothing I had said or done in the past few months mattered. Hershel was dead, my family gone; my friends….I would never see them again. I would never see Kelly or Merle; I would never get to hold my daughter again.

I hear a moan off in the distance. I push myself up from the ground and aim my crossbow in the direction of the sound. I narrow my eyes as I watch the tree line. The moon was bright tonight, casting a decent amount of light on the road, so I would be able to see the damn thing when it popped out. And the moment I did I shot an arrow through its head. I waited a few minutes and heard nothing, so he must have been a straggler. They had been forming packs as of late, always several of them at once recently.

I slid back down the van and look down the road. I would have to get the arrow in the morning, couldn't risk just letting it go. I was running low on them again. The last thing I wanted was to run out of them. I reach into my pocket and pull out the watch, the deer on the front was faded even more now, dirt was in the designs, and several scratched and dents could be found all over it. I just sit and look at it as the sun comes up. Beth steps out of the van and tells me to sleep.

I silently climb into the van and lay down. I would sleep until she cooked up something we had scavenged from the bus then we would move on. I didn't know where to, but we couldn't stay here. I roll over on my side and face the back of the seat. I clip the watch to the headrest and stare at it until my eyes close.

An hour later Beth and I are on the road, but the watch is still clipped on the back of the seats in that van.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

A hand caught my wrist before I could stab anything, I screamed and struggled, Shayla's cries matching my own in pitch. Two gun shots rang through the air and I immediately covered my head. "You should be more careful." I look up and jump far back from the huge man that's in front of me. Merle runs in front of me and points his gun at the man. I pull Shayla out of the wrap again and try to calm her down. Merle starts threatening the man.

"You better back the hell off." He says, his form almost blocking the other man from my sight.

"Relax, in case you were not watching, I just saved that woman and child's lives."

"I was handling it. Who the hell are you?"

"Sergeant Abraham Ford. And you are?"

"Now of your damn business. Now just get back."

More people walk out of the woods, two women, a creepy looking man and… "Glenn!" I shout as I step out from behind Merle. Glenn and I go up to each other and I wrap my arms around him. Not believing I was actually seeing him. I pull back because of Shayla's squirming. Glenn looks down in shock.

"Is that…?" and I remember he hadn't gotten to see her; he was put in isolation the day after she was born.

"Yea, her name is Shayla. Shayla Dale."

"Wow, can I….can I hold her?"

"Sure you can." I say passing Shayla to Glenn who is head-to-toe in the riot gear we had taken off some walkers when we first got in the prison.

"She's so light."

"Try carrying her for a few hours and you'll rethink that tune."

I look back at the group of people that Glenn was with. The tall man was pale with bright ass read hair, the girl in the hat was pretty cute, but the other guy was creepy looking, and the other girl just set up red flags. I looked closer at her and narrowed my eyes.

"_You. You in the ponytails. Is this what you want? Is this what any of you want?"_

I move quickly to Merle and grab his gun and point it at the girl, her hands go up but the tall ginger points his gun at me. "Whoa, Kelly what are you doing?" Glenn asks stepping in front of me. Merle takes Shayla, but I keep the gun on the short-haired girl.

"She was in Brian's group, Glenn. She fired on us."

"I know, but she didn't know-."

"Don't make excuses for her! She was with him! She's part of the reason we lost our home!"

I knew I recognized her. She stood at the side of the tank during the whole thing. She just stood there and let it all happen. She was in on the whole thing. She was part of the reason I was out here in the open with a newborn and without my family. If I couldn't get my revenge on Brian, I would settle for one of his people.

"Kelly, I know she was with him. But she saved me." Glenn says, stepping closer to me. "She helped me get out of the prison. She hates what she did-."

"What about Hershel! Did she tell you what happened to him!?"

"Yea, she did. But she didn't swing the sword." Glenn reaches out and tries to take the gun, but I hold it tighter.

"He's dead Kelly."

"Who?"

"The Governor, Brian or Phillip or whatever his name was. He's dead. So even if she agreed with him it wouldn't matter. He's dead and he's never going to hurt us again."

"How do you know?"

"I saw his body Kelly. He got shot in the head. He's gone." Glenn tries to take the gun from me again, but I push him back. I see the other girl walk towards us from the far left, but I ignore her, Merle would keep her back.

"It doesn't matter! She was still with him. She deserves to pay for what she helped do!"

"But I didn't-." she starts, but I yell at her to shut up.

Merle steps up beside me and before I can do anything he yanks the gun from my hands. "What are you doing?!" I yell, trying to grab the gun back.

"You need to calm down before you shoot yourself." Ginger guy says. I stop attacking Merle and spin to face him.

"This doesn't involve you."

"When the safety of Eugene Porter is involved, I am involved."

"Who the hell is Eugene Porter!?" I ask, throwing my hands in the air. The creepy looking man steps up.

"I am."

I just shake my head and look between the two of them. "You know what. I don't care. I don't give two flying craps about who you are. All I know is that woman better stay the hell away from me." I go over to the other woman who was holding Shayla and pull her out of her arms and walk back towards the bus. Glenn quickly follows, saying he thought Maggie was on the bus. Merle hadn't said if he found anything or not, but considering the show down we all just had, nobody was on that bus or somebody would have appeared by now.

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><p>Later that night all of us are huddled around a small fire. Shayla is asleep in her box, and I'm sitting between Merle and Glenn. The stupid chick whose name I learned was Tara was sitting far from me on the other side of the fire. And if she knew what was good for her she'd stay over there. The other woman was named Rosita. But the biggest kicker was what Glenn told me about the creepy Eugene Porter.<p>

"I'm sorry, he what?" I ask crossing my arms and looking at the creepy looking man with very greasy long hair.

"He says he knows what started this mess." Glenn says as he looks down at Shayla again, his face bright with a smile.

"And that would be?" I ask him.

"Classified. I'll only tell officials in Washington." The man says.

"Are you serious? The fucking world is falling apart and you're worried about breaking classified information? What do you think they are going to do to you? Put you on trial for treason?"

"I was in contact with people in Washington, they are waiting for me."

"Whatever." I say rolling my eyes.

I look at Glenn, "How the hell did you end up with this group of nuts?"

"Found Tara at the prison, we got attacked by some walkers, I got winded, passed out, woke up in the back of their truck. What about you? How'd you end up with Merle? Where's Daryl or Rick?"

"Gone, just like Maggie. I don't know where they are. My only hope was the bus. But we know how that worked out."

"I'm not done looking for Maggie. I don't know how or when, but I'm going to find her." I look at Glenn with sad eyes. He sounds so determined, so sure that he's going to find Maggie. And for his sake I hope he does. But I don't have the same hope for finding my family. I knew I would never find them again. Glenn was chance and only because he was looking for someone too. Daryl wouldn't go to the bus. I knew he wouldn't because he knew I wouldn't have let the bus leave without him.

I knew he was alive,

But I also knew I'd never find him.

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><p><strong>Next Chapter<strong>: Time to check in on Rick! Tara and Kelly are going to have some bonding, and Daryl and Beth find moonshine!

Hope you all enjoyed this!  
>Pretty Please Review!<p> 


	11. Chapter Eleven: Ugly Truth

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **DarylDixon'sLover, mrskaz453, kyolover16, and darthmara93.

**Thank You to the **70 favorites and 112 followers

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><p>Chapter Eleven: Ugly Truth<p>

Rick's PoV

Seeing Michonne standing on that porch had made Carl's mood increase dramatically. He was so angry, so hurt. I couldn't blame him though. Judith, my sweet little Judith. I shook my head and pushed the drawer of the dresser closed. Since I had cleaned up I felt a little better, I was still sore in several places and I felt weak. That bastard had put up one hell of a fight and he had almost killed me too. I owed Michonne my life.

But if I didn't have Carl with me I would begrudge her my life.

All those months of hard work, all the runs, the time, lost lives, all of it was for nothing. I had nothing to show for any of it. I didn't have my niece, my sister, or my daughter. The loss of any life was a waste, but the loss of the babies….

I clench my fists tight, it didn't matter now. They were gone. It was time to focus on the here and now. Carl had apologized for him behavior and Michonne was getting him to smile again. And right now that's all that mattered.

This was a nice house, but I didn't want to stay here longer than needs be. I needed to get stronger, I may have been out of the game for a while, but I wasn't a fool. I couldn't just get back into it all, and neither could Carl. And I wasn't going to let him get involved any more than he had to be. I wasn't risking that again.

I couldn't loose him again. I can't loose anyone else.

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><p>I pull on the plain white shirt I found on the floor of this room. It was a little loose, but it felt good against my sore skin. There was almost a constant pain in my side when I breathed.<p>

I carefully go down the steps and I hear Carl and Michonne talking in the living room.

"…didn't see Aunt Kelly?"

"No, last I saw her was back there. She was with Daryl."

"So she could still be alive? She could be with him and Shayla?" He sounded eager, but Michonne hesitated, her and Carl's friendship had been based on honesty.

"I don't know kid. There is a chance, but we both know how it was at the end."

"Judith is gone." He says, his voice dropping. I lowered my head and looked at the wooden steps.

"I know. I saw the seat too. I'm sorry."

They sat in the quiet and I finished moving down the stairs. Making some noise and breaking the sadness.

"We got some beans in the kitchen. We would have pudding, but someone ate it all." I look at Carl who gives a sheepish smile.

"You ate all of it?" Michonne asks.

"All 112 ounces of it." I add

"You what?" Michonne says looking at Carl in shock. "And you're not puking your guts out?"

"I didn't realize I was doing it until the can was empty. It was really good though."

"He doesn't deserve beans since he hogged all the pudding." Michonne says standing up and ruffling Carl's hair before she goes in the kitchen, Carl right on her heels.

"Save some for me." I yell to them before I sit down on the couch and prop my legs up on the coffee table.

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><p>This house was eerie because in several ways it looked like Kelly's had. Almost the same layout, this one was bigger and had more rooms, but the rooms they did have in common could be copies of each other. I close my eyes and rub my hands over my face; it wasn't doing me any good to think about her. But I couldn't help it. The last time I saw her she was on her knees getting sprayed in Hershel's blood. I could still see her frightened eyes when I closed mine. I wish I knew where she was.<p>

Michonne said she was with Daryl, so there was hope that she was still out there, but the chances of me finding my family were even lower this time than they were at the beginning.

I don't think I'll get that lucky again.

"_Hey, helicopter boy! Come say hello." Morales' voice sounded quieter than it actually was. I was afraid to get out actually. Guilt about that man in Atlanta, not being able to go back and get Kelly immediately, and fear of another cold greeting from people. But I step out of the van and shut the door. "The guy's a cop like you." so there was another officer in this group. That made me feel a little better. _

_I walked around this other vehicle and what I saw froze me dead in my tracks. Carl and Lori, my family. They were here. I try to say something, but all I hear is a choked sound. But Carl screamed "Dad!" and ran as fast as he could. I swear my heart exploded out of my chest as my tiny son ran into my arms. Then Lori picked up the pieces when she wraps her arms around my neck. Carl is crying, Lori is shaking. My family was here.  
><em>There was no way I'd get that lucky again. I had my son, and he was all I could ask for.

Carl was my mission from the moment I woke up in that hospital bed, and he was my mission now. I would find another place for him. And I would keep it safe.

No matter the cost.

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><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

We were back to walking. Shayla wasn't confined to the wrap though, between Glenn, Merle, and Rosita she had plenty of people who wanted to hold her. Pigtails kept her distance from me and Shayla; she stayed in the front of the group while I stayed in the back. I had gotten to know Abraham a little bit, and even though he was too G.I. especially now, he was a good guy. "When was she born?"

"It's probably around the one week mark by now. I honestly don't know."

"Where's he father? If you don't mind me asking." He said quickly.

"I don't know. We were separated when our camp was attacked. He's Merle's little brother."

"He have a name?"

"Daryl. He's shorter than Merle and carries a crossbow."

"Glenn's mission is to find his wife. But you don't seem to be on a mission to find Daryl."

I snort and let out a sigh. "Glenn is a dreamer, always has been. I hope he finds Maggie. I really do. But I'm not stupid. The odds of him finding her are very slim, just as slim as mine are to finding Daryl. No reason wasting time on wishing for things that aren't gonna happen."

"You don't think about it at all?"

_"What do you miss most, Kelly?" T-Dogg asks as we sit beside the RV on the hot highway._

_"I don't know. At first it was the obvious things, house, bed, food, water, but now…I miss everything, and yet nothing at all."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I think….I don't know for sure, but I think I'm just numb to it now. I hardly remember life before now. I may not have been in the woods when this first happened, but I was alone. I just had a body, one that could have died any given time. I don't really think about my old life anymore. All it does is depress me, and there is enough sadness as is without adding pity into the mix. We're not getting that life back. No matter how much we want to."_

"I can't think about it." I say looking at him, his pale skin turning a hint of red from the exposure to the sun. "I have enough to worry about right now without dealing with that can of worms. Let me drown the ones I have first."

We stopped and checked a line of cars on the side of the road; we weren't straying from the tracks too much considering they were easy to map out and ran through towns. They had been left here pretty recently. Probably another traveling camp. The cars were out of gas and we weren't going to be getting anymore anytime soon. Fuel had been hard enough to find before we even got to the prison, now it was getting close to impossible.

I searched through the first car and most of the stuff was gone. I did find a can of corn that had rolled under the backseat, and a bottle of sunscreen. It was going on Shayla then on Abraham. He wasn't going to be very helpful if he was raw with sunburn. "There is a creek a few miles ahead. We'll get water then set up camp here."

"Don't bother with that. It's Harmer's Creek, there's a cabin not even a mile from the mouth." Merle said. Not looking at all intimidating with a baby in his arms."

"Cabin is safer than the road." Glenn says.

"Fine. Let's get moving."

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><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

Another random site in the woods, just off the highway. I was fine with that. Beth hadn't said too much today, which was fine with me. Parts of me wished she wasn't even here at all. One less person I had to deal with. One less person for me to watch die. There was a slight breeze tonight, it would occasionally rattle the cans, and each time I still sat up and gripped my bow tighter. Then the wind would settle and I would lay back down.

It was a cloudy night, could barley see the stars. I couldn't look at the big dipper tonight. I had looked at it every other night and thought about her. Thought about my daughter. I wish I knew, one way or the other, what had happened to them. It was the not knowing that was the hardest to bear. It felt like Sophia all over again but multiplied by thousands. Sophia had broken my heart; Kelly and Shayla were shattering it.

Why had I let myself get close? Why had Kelly and I had a baby? Why didn't Merle and I pack out of the quarry camp when we had originally planned? Would I still wind up in the woods alone? More than likely I would be in the woods with Merle. But he was preferable to Beth. Merle would at least have a fighting chance.

I let my eyes fall shut at I breathe in the musky air. There are walkers somewhere in the vicinity, there was a dead smell mixed with the woods. I was really tied. Walked almost all day. My shoulders were killing me from the gun-fire at the prison and sleeping on the ground. Kelly had wanted me to talk to Hershel or Dr. S about it, but I never did. And I never would now.

Beth was out cold. If I fell asleep and walkers came through she wouldn't know until it was too late.

"_What's going on here? You taking a siesta or something?"_

"_A shitty day, bro."  
>"Like me to get your pillow? Maybe rub your feet?" <em>

"_Screw you."  
>"Huh-uh. You're the one screwed from the looks of it. All them years I spent trying to make a man of you, this is what I get? Look at you. Lying in the dirt like a used rubber. You're gonna die out here, brother. And for what?"<em>

Goddamnit. No matter where I was or how I was giving up that bastard would show up.

I bite back a yawn and force my eyes open again. I push myself up off the ground and grab my crossbow on the way up. I roll my shoulder and pop my neck. All those months of sleeping on a mattress had turned me into a pansy. I could barley sleep on the ground anymore.

I pull a bottle of water out of the bag and take a drink. I freeze when I hear the telltale sounds of walkers nearby. I recap the bottle and set it on the ground. It sounds far off, but I need to make sure. If there were a lot of them Beth and I would need a head start out of here.

It was hard to see anything because of the overcast sky. But years of hunting in the dark was helping. And when I saw a mini group of walkers heading towards the camp, I was grateful for all the times Merle and I had to run from the game warden.

I got to Beth and woke her up as I tossed what was out of the bag in and she rolled up the blankets and we took off towards the highway. They were close, they had heard off the noise we had made and were following. We busted out of the tree line beside a banged up car that Beth checked to see if it worked. I could tell by the looks of it that it wouldn't. I also knew we couldn't stay out in the open like we were.

The trunk would be a tight fit, but we would be safe there. I pulled it open and crawled in after Beth. The trunk was broken and would shut all the way so I tied it closed and pointed my bow through the crack. The tense moments that followed were soon replaced by rotten dreams of walkers and gunshots.

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><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

The walk to the cabin was fairly uneventful. A few walkers that Abraham and Merle had a pissing contest over, I think Merle won, but it could be argued that he cheated. We got to the cabin and I took Shayla upstairs to get her out of the sun. The upstairs was like an attic, small and one room. I set Shayla down on her blanket and pulled off her clothes. "With the water from the creek momma can boil to kill all the dirty germs, then you are getting bath. What do you think?" all I got was flailing limbs and a gurgle. I pull off her dirty diaper and rub at my eyes when I see poop. "You're killing me." I stand up and toss the diaper in a corner before I call down for Merle's bag that had the wipes in it.

"He's outside." Came a timid voice from down the steps.

"Then can you bring it up?"

"As long as you don't point a gun at my head." Pigtails says as she appears at the bottom of the steps.

"Just toss the thing up."

"Or you can come get it." She says back, holding the bag out at her side.

"I don't have time for your shit. My child needs something in that bag."

"Your child?" she says with a snort, automatically making my temper flare. "Are you kidding? The only reason I even know that she's yours is because you say so. You have shown no real affection for her since we met up."

"Excuse me?"

"There is no excuse for the way you are treating that helpless baby."

"You better back off pigtails." I say as I take several steps down the stairs.

"Or what? What will you do?" she walks up towards me. "Shoot me? Stab me? You're just as big of an asshole as he was."

"Last warning Tara. Back off."

"Ya know what's funny." She says tossing the bag I needed on the floor behind me. "The man that is supposed to be the monster was a better father to a kid that wasn't even his than you are to your own daughter!"

I swing as hard as I can, I make contact, but I also throw myself off balance. My hand impacts her face then a second later I'm tumbling down the steps. I throw a hand out and catch myself before I reach the bottom. But that didn't stop anything from hurting. "Son of a bitch!" I say as I pull myself up. I move my wrist around and cringe at the sound of it popping and the pain that shoots through it. A few seconds later Merle and Abraham come through the door. "What the hell is this?" Merle asks. "Who's watching the kid?"

"Not her worthless mother." Pigtails says from the top, she's holding her eye.

"You want another bitch? I got plenty!"

"Stop it!" Glenn yells as he comes from the back of the cabin. "Tara, get down here. Kelly, go up there. Just stay the hell away from each other." I glare at Pigtails as she walks down the steps; I bite my tongue as she bumps into my shoulder. I storm back up the stairs, kicking the bag in the room as I go.

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><p>I'm lucky Shayla is only a week old because she hasn't moved an inch from where I left her, but she has peed all over her blanket and was a little cold. I dig out the wipes and clean off her bottom before I re-diaper her and pull out her last clean outfit. I'd have to attempt to wash the others today with the water. Merle comes barreling up the stairs a few minutes after Shayla is dressed demanding an explanation.<p>

"Back off Merle. She deserved it."

"What the hell happened? She has a shiner the like of which I haven't seen in a long time-."

"You think that shiner is good? You should have seen the one I gave Andrea when she shot Daryl."

"I don't—wait, what?"

"Ya, Andrea thought Daryl was a walker and shot him, so I hit her. It was pretty cool."

"She though he was a-? Ya know, I don't even care. What I do care about is what could that girl possibly of said to set you off like that?"

"She said I was a bad mother. That I didn't love Shayla. Bullshit like that. She deserved it." I cradle Shayla in my arms and walk around the room, hoping she'd fall asleep. Merle is just silent for a few minutes. Then he said…

"So you punch people for telling you the truth?"

I didn't think I could get anymore pissed off, but that sentence set my blood on fire.

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><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

"So first I say something I've never done and if you have done it, you drink, and if you haven't, I drink. Then we switch." Beth sounded dead serious as we sat on a too familiar living room floor, genuine moonshine laid out between us. I just stare at her. "You really don't know this game?"

"I never needed a game to get lit before." And that was the truth. And if for some unknown reason we had to play games, if I even suggested this one back in the day I would have gotten my ass beat. "How do you know this game?"

"My friends played. I watched." She says with a smile. Then she fidgets before speaking again. "Okay, I'll start. I've never shot a crossbow." She looks at me expectantly; I just stare back at her, trying to see if this gets interesting at all. "So now you drink." Well, at least there was a silver lining. Drinking usually made everything better. I take a drink and it's really not that bad. Nothing could be worse than the first batch my old man had ever made. Had Merle and I drink the first batch. Would rather us go blind than his friends if he screwed it up.  
>"Ain't much of a game."<p>

Then off she went. Saying it was my turn and that I should just say whatever. I just looked at her for a little while. She sounded serious and excited at the prospect of my answers. I kept shit general and as the game continued I fell into a buzzed state of boredom. It was her turn again. "I've never been in jail." My boredom became annoyance all of a sudden. "I mean, as a prisoner." She added as if it was funny. But I just stared at her. Feeling like dirt for some reason. I had risked my life for her several times and she held that opinion of me?

"Is that what you think of me?" I asked, not caring if it was confrontational or not.

"I didn't mean anything serious. I just thought, you know, like the drunk tank. Even my dad got locked up for that back in the day." While I wasn't surprised to hear that had happened to Hershel, it sure as hell had never happened to me. I wasn't my father.

"Drink up." I say looking at her with a pointed look. She looks at me and picks up her drink, but before she swallows she gets a happy look on her face. "Wait. Prison guard!" she says. I feel my annoyance turn into anger. Why was this chick hell bent on continuing something that a dead guy had started. "Were you a prison guard before?"

"No." I say taking a drink of the moonshine just for the hell of it. Beth tells me it's my turn again, but I just get up, dropping my now empty jar on the floor.

"I'm gonna take a piss." I stand up and go over to the far side of the house. The walker that's on the other side of the wall stirs again, I kick a jar across the room as I piss in the corner.

"You have to be quiet." Beth says as the breaking of the glass riles the walker up.

"Can't hear you!" and I don't care. The sooner a walker showed up the better. "I'm taking a piss!"

"Daryl, don't talk so loud." She demands in a whisper. I laugh and zip up my pants and turn around.

"What, are you my chaperone now?" her face is a mix between anger and hurt. "Oh, wait. It's my turn, right? I've never- never eaten frozen yogurt." I pretend to think. "Never had a pet pony. Never got nothing from Santa Claus. Never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I don't think I've ever relied on anyone for anything."

"Daryl-."

"Never sung out in front of a big group out in public like everything was fun. Like everything was a big game!" I just keep going. The anger I've been keeping down finally coming out, the alcohol not helping at all. The walker is getting more and more riled up as I go on. "Sounds like our friend out there is trying to call all of his buddies!"

"Daryl, just shut up!" Beth demands, standing to face me.

"Hey, you never shot a crossbow before? I'm gonna teach you right now." I grab her hand and try to get her out the door. "Come on. It's gonna be fun."

"We should stay inside." She says as she pulls away, I just grab her back.

"Come on, if I can teach Kelly, who was the worst damn shot on the earth, I can teach you." I drag her outside.

"Daryl, cut it out! Daryl!" she protests, but a walker stumbling up the side of the house is just what I'm looking for.

"Dumbass. Come here, dumbass." I get behind Beth and shove the bow in her hand. "You want to shoot?"

"I don't know how."

"Oh, it's easy. Come here. Right corner." She's a lot smaller than I though. I force the bow firmly in her hand.

"_For real, what are we doing?" Kelly asks as I pull my bow from my back and hand it to her. Her face goes blank as she stares as it. "I'm teaching you how to shoot." Then I pull my knife out. "And how to use this."_

"_I don't know-,"_

"_You need to know how to defend yourself Kelly. If you get separated from the group you need to know what to do. You got lucky last time you were lost. I don't think that will happen again." I can see her hesitation on her face. I put the knife away and I go up to her and move her hair out of her face. "I wouldn't teach you if I thought it wasn't important. Please?"_

Beth's voice snaps me back to reality, but now I was even more aggravated. Kelly was gone damn it. I would never see her again. And this pipsqueak sure wasn't her. "Daryl, Let's practice later."

"Come on, it's fun." I say as I make her pull the trigger, the arrow hitting the walker in the chest.

"Just stop it. Daryl!"

"Eight ball!" I yell as the last arrow lodges itself into the post behind the walker, now stuck there because of the badly shot arrows.

"Just kill it!" She screams. I let her go and walk up to the walker.

"Come here, Greene. Let's pull these out. Get a little more target practice." But she just goes up and stabs it in the head. "What the hell you do that for? I was having fun."

"No, you were being a jackass!" She yells, pushing me away from the walker.

She sucks in a breath. "If anyone found my dad-."

"Don't." I demand, moving away from her. "That ain't remotely the same."

"Killing them is not supposed to be fun." She says.

"What do you want from me, girl, huh?" I ask getting in her face.

"I want to you stop acting like you don't give a crap about anything!" she doesn't back down. "Like nothing we went through matters. Like none of the people we lost meant anything to you. Like loosing Kelly and your baby meant nothing because its bullshit!"

"Is that what you think?" how dare she think I don't care about any of that?

"That's what I know!"

"You don't know nothing."

"I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl!"

She pauses for just a second then she gets back in my face. "I'm not Michonne. I'm not Carol. I'm not Maggie. I've survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them!" she moves away then yells louder. "But I made it and you don't get to treat me like crap just because you're afraid!"

"I ain't afraid of nothing." I growl back, god how many times have I said that with it being a total lie.

"I remember Daryl! When that little girl came out of the barn after my mom. You were like me. And if Kelly hadn't been there you probably would have left. And now God forbid you ever let anybody get too close."

"Too close, huh? You know all about that. You lost two boyfriends; you can't even shed a tear." I wasn't going to let her drag Kelly into this and not drag her name through the dirt too. "Your whole family's gone; all you can do is just go out looking for hooch like some dumb college bitch."

"Screw you. You don't get it."

"No, you don't get it!" I yell back. Then I feel something tighten in my chest, but I keep going.

"Everyone we know is dead!"

"You don't know that." she says calmly.

"Might as well be; 'cause you ain't never gonna see 'em again. Rick, Carl, Judith. Hell you ain't never gonna see Maggie again. Just like I'm never gonna see Merle again, or Kelly or Shayla!"

"Daryl, just stop." She says, but I turn away from her. The tightness in my chest hurts, but I can't stop.  
>"No! The Governor rolled right up to our gates. Maybe if I wouldn't have stopped looking. Maybe 'cause I gave up. That's on me." then the most embarrassing stinging burns my eyes. As I see Hershel, Michonne, and Kelly on their knees in front of the The Governor's army. "And your dad. How he-Maybe- maybe I could have done something. Maybe I wouldn't have lost them all."<p>

I squeeze my eyes tightly closed as tears fall and Beth wraps herself around my back.

It was finally out. After all this time I finally stopped pushing down all I had felt. I was the failure. Kelly had always looked to me to protect her. And I failed her. I had failed our group.

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><p><strong>Next Chapter<strong>: Merle and Kelly come to a head about Shayla, Daryl and Beth burn a house, and Rick takes a trip down memory lane!

Hope you all enjoyed this!  
>Pretty Please Review!<p> 


	12. Chapter Twelve: Ever and Never

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **ChicagoMyth, sweetkiwi604, Guest777, skystar234, kyolover16, mrskaz453. and darthmara93!

**Thank You to the **77 favorites and 127 followers

I am so sorry for the massive delay in getting this up. Had finals, move-out, and my inspiration ran away. When I saw the season finale and that massive cliff-hanger my ideas sort of went out the window. I am really, really sorry.

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><p>Chapter Twelve: Ever and Never<p>

Rick's PoV

Carl and Michonne were off looking for food and I was ordered to stay here. In a way I was glad, I was still hurting in places I had forgotten I had. There was still a huge bruise to my pride that he had almost killed me. The one time we had met face-to-face I had come up short.

The bed was soft, softer than the beds back at the prison. But it made a lot of noises when I shifted around. It reminded me of Shane's old bed. I narrowed my eyes at that thought. Where had that come from? I hadn't thought of him in a long time. Just like I hadn't thought about Lori. I could barley remember what either of them looked like now. Kelly probably could though. She could still tell me in detail what mom had looked like, all I remember are feelings. But Kelly could tell you everything, from eye color to what she is wearing in her grave. Strange considering how little she was when mom died.

I sighed and closed my eyes. For some reason I just wanted to remember today. I know I shouldn't, but I couldn't help it. Everything was finally calming back down for now. We were going to stay in this house a few more days. The house was quiet. It was a perfect time to just think back on better days. A breeze drifts from the open window and I breathe in the cool air. It was fall again. If this was back in the normal world Lori, Kelly, and poor Carl would be school supply shopping. Then Kelly would be dragging us all to her school to set her room up for the year, and Shane and I would be spending our whole day moving desks and bookshelves.

_"Come on, please? Please, please, please!"_

"_I'm sick of moving this thing Kelly. Pick a spot!"_

"_This is the last time Shane, I promise!"_

_ Her room was a mess. Supplies, textbooks, chairs, and desks were scattered all over the room as Kelly tried to decide how to set it up. Shane and I had moved a filing cabinet to four different places so far. And we were not going to do it again. _

"_I liked it in that corner." Lori said from the doorway._

"_But it's too open. I'm thinking back behind the desk."_

"_Just pick a damn spot." Shane mutters under his breath. And it takes Carl half a second to rat him out, causing Kelly to throw her pen at him and Lori telling him to watch his language around Carl._

Back when life was easy. Oh I didn't think life was easy, but what I wouldn't give to have it back. Where I was up at 7, ate breakfast, we all left the house at 7:45. I would work; Shane and I would have lunch around noon, always fast food. Then I'd be home around five for dinner, in bed by eleven. Everyday that was the basic schedule. It would occasionally be interrupted by Kelly or dinner out, but it was dependable. Now, I couldn't even tell you what time I actually was.

I wish I knew where my baby sister was. I hoped she was with Daryl, but in reality she could be gone. Her and Shayla. I had been an uncle for three days. And while it was nothing like being a father, it was still an amazing feeling. If she was gone too, at least she and Judith would be together. Together with Lori.

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><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

The nights were getting colder; I sat on the roof of the cabin and tried to wrap my mind around what had just happened. Merle was beyond pissed at me, and I was far from being alright. The wind blew my hair away from my face and chilled my skin as it dried another tear. I was beyond even faking that I was okay. My heart hurt as much as my wrist did. I pull my legs tighter against me as I try to calm down. Daryl had always told me he was mild compared to Merle, and tonight I was finally a believer in that. Daryl was good at making me see things; Merle shoved them right in my face and held it there till I figured it out.

I wished Daryl was here. If I could have anything right now it would be him.

But he wasn't here, and he wasn't going to be. And I was just going to have to deal with that. Just like I was going to have to deal with the fact that everything Merle had said was true. I was a bad mother. And the excuses I had didn't matter. I had a responsibility that I was stuck with. No matter how much I wished I didn't. "Can I join you?" I turn towards the window and see Abraham's head sticking out the window.

"You're not gonna yell at me for punching Ponytail are you?"

"No." he says climbing through the window to sit beside me. "But I bet if you used her name it would ease tensions a bit. Not like Tara is a hard name."

"It can be when pride is involved."

As he sits down I see two bottles in his hand, he hands one of them to me. "Found them in the pantry behind the water heater. They suck when hot, but better than nothing." I look at the brown bottle of beer and spin it around in my hand as Abraham hooks the lid on the side of the house before he slaps the bottle. The lid comes free and sticks in the wood. "Pride is a hard thing to overcome. Something your brother-in-law needs to remember next time he gives you a lecture like that."

"Merle has never been on to beat around the bush."

"He also seems like he can beat a dead horse too." I nodded and took a deep breath and the cool air burned my lungs. "Not a drinker?" he asks looking at my still unopened bottle."

"Not anymore."

"Alcoholic?"

"The worst kind. Spent over a year with one of these in my hand. Haven't had any since."

"Well, I only found these two, so there isn't a danger of a relapse, but if you don't want it I'm sure Merle would."

"No, I'll drink it. I'm just thinking." I saw as I open my bottle roughly the same way Abraham did. I take a sip and cringe at the taste. Beer was never my favorite. Abraham takes a large drink of his before he starts to talk again.

"I don't know you that well, but will you permit me to tell you a story?"

"I don't think story time is going to help."

"I think it will."

"Okay."

"I had a wife once. A very long time ago. We met when I was in the Army. She followed me to every army post I was sent to. We had three kids. When I was away on deployment she met this other guy, and I got divorce papers in the mail. She decided, for whatever reason that she didn't want our kids. So I got full custody and she ran off."

"How could she possibly leave all her kids behind?"

"The same reason you can't look at your daughter. Guilt, hurt, anger, fear."

* * *

><p><em>"Do you even look at your daughter Kelly!" Merle's voice was loud and it wasn't helping my shaking. <em>

"_Of course I do. I look at her every single day!"_

"_Do you? Does she have a birth mark?" he asks, his face serious and angry. But I was taken aback. I didn't know. Did she? I quickly thought back to her, and I couldn't recall one. But his tone of voice was making me think that she did. _

"_What does it matter if she does or not, how is that important?" I say back, but if it was even possible, Merle looked even more angry._

"_That's my point!" he yells. Then he takes a deep breath before he continues in a calmer tone. "That baby is all we have left of Daryl. That's it. He's gone; chances are we aren't going to see him again. He wanted that baby, and you are damn well going to honor him and be the best mother you can. And I know you can do a hell of a lot better than what you're doing."_

"_No I can't!"_

"_Yes you can. I saw it every damn day when you'd drag Rick's kids outside, you took care of her a hell of a lot better than you are taking care of your own kid."_

"_Just go away!" I scream at him. The longer he had talked the more angry I had gotten. "I get it, I suck. Thanks for the news flash. So why don't you just take her and go if you're such a damn expert!" _

_The silence between us feels louder than our yelling had. Merle just looks at me shakes his head._

"_She has a brown patch of skin on her hip. You see it every time you change her diaper. You don't know your own daughter and she's only a week old." He turns and goes down the steps, leaving me alone upstairs. _

* * *

><p>"Fear of what?" I ask Abraham as I drink more of the warm beer.<p>

"Our kids were older when she ran off; they all knew what she did. She was afraid of their reactions. Afraid they wouldn't love her. Guilt about what she had done, the ripping apart our family. It took her a long time to get the courage to face them again. Our oldest was in college."

"What happened to them? If you don't mind me asking."

"We were going to Georgia State; we were there when they quarantined the city. I lost two of my kids there, then my last one in the woods last year."

"I'm sorry." I say looking at him, he looked like he always did, face blank and hard, but his eyes looked a little softer.

"The worst part of it all is I'm almost glad they're gone. They don't have to live in this world anymore. But then I look at you, and I see the love you have for Merle, and for that little girl and I miss my children so much it almost hurts."

He sighs and takes a huge swallow from his bottle. I just look away and swirl the liquid around in mine. Then he starts again. "Why are you afraid to look at her?" he looks at me and I just shrug. "I haven't known you long, but that fight I just saw, and how you reacted when we first met tells me you're tough. So what is it about that helpless baby that is scaring the piss out of you?"

"I don't know. I was always afraid. When I found out I was pregnant, the months after-," I laugh and shake my head. "The day she was born I was too busy worrying about other people in our group than I was about her. It took my brother, Daryl, and Hershel to keep me in my place. All I wanted was to help." I take another drink. I still hate the taste, but I don't cringe at it.

"The day your camp was attacked, what were you doing?"

"I wasn't any help if that's what you're asking."

"No, what were you doing?"

"Does it matter? Not like we can build a time machine and go back."

"Will you just answer the question." He says looking at me. He had pretty eyes, I didn't want to talk about it, but unlike Merle he wasn't yelling at me. And he genuinely seemed to care. So I told him. Told him about how Hershel, Michonne, and I got caught, what happened in the woods, then the attack on the prison. I had cried and cursed and screamed. The beer was gone by the end of the story and all Abraham did was hold me. I cried into his shoulder and screamed about the unfairness of it all. Screamed about how much I wanted Daryl back.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

The fire burned hot. Setting this stupid house on fire may have been a bad idea in the long run, but right now I was feeling happier than I had since Beth and I had fled the prison. It was like burning this thing down was a cleansing. We needed to move away from it, the light would draw the walkers, but it was hard to look away. The last house fire I had seen had been the one that had killed my mother. I had stared at that fire like I was staring at this one. Fire was fascinating, and watching this house burn down was even more so. Beth flipped it off, and then I did the same.

I was letting go of the prison. And putting most of my ghosts to rest.

Our new mission was to find our people.

Beth was going to find Maggie, and I was going to find Kelly, Shayla, and Merle.

Then that would probably send us after Rick. Kelly was probably looking for him.

"We need to move." I say as I finally lower my hand. Beth nods and we walk away from the house, she has a huge smile on her face. We walk in a comfortable silence instead of the awkward one it had been since the prison. My head was still a little fuzzy from the moonshine, but she seemed just fine.

"Do you think Kelly is alive?" Beth asks after we've walked about a mile from the house.

"Don't know, hope so."

"Her and the baby?"

"I told her to get to the bus, that's where Evelyn was supposed to be."

"She wasn't." she says after a few minutes of silence. I stop and turn back.

"What?"

"Evelyn wasn't on the bus either. Not when I was."

"Are you sure?"

"Ya, that's partly why I got off, to find the kids,. Lizzie, Mika, all of them weren't on it." I feel my chest tighten, it was one thing to think that my family was dead; it was another to have plausible evidence of it. Beth quickly spoke up. "That explains why we didn't find her on the bus. She got on and saw Evelyn wasn't on there, so she went to find her. She's out here with Shayla and Evelyn."

"Still got the same problem." I say shaking my head. "Woods are huge, finding a needle in a haystack."

"At least we know what we're looking for." Beth says with a smile as she walks past me. "Bottle of peach schnapps we find them soon." She holds out her hand. I roll my eyes and walk past her, bumping her with my shoulder as I go.

"We need to find a place to sleep, that fire's gonna be drawing them from all over."

As much as I didn't want to really believe I could possible to find them, I found myself hoping just a hair that I could. And if I did I would never let them go ever again.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

Abraham and I just sit in silence when I finally pull away. His arm is still around me, his thumb rubbing small circles where it rests. My eyes hurt, but my chest doesn't feel as tight anymore. I'm shaking a little from the cold and I just smile in thanks when he gives me his sweater. Like all things it fits like a tent, but it's warm. It's so quiet out; the silence makes me nervous because any sound we make can be more easily detected. I suck in a deep breath and let it out. "I'm gonna go check on Shayla." I say, keeping my voice low. He nods and helps me stand up. "I'll give you the jacket back." I send over my shoulder before I climb back through the window.

Shayla is lying in her box that we were soon going to have to replace; all the collapsing and fixing were taking its toll on the worn cardboard. I peek over the side and I smile when I see bright blue eyes looking up at me. "Hey, what are you still doing up?" I ask as I gently pick her up and hold her. She wiggles a little before she settles down. Her diaper is full. "Guess that answers my question huh?" I sit grab her blanket and sit down on the floor, my back against the wall. I lay the blanket out between my legs and lay her down on top of it. I unsnap her pajamas and pull off the wet diaper. Then my eyes settle on the birthmark Merle had known about but I had missed completely. On her hip there was a little upside-down crescent shape, several shades darker than the rest of her skin. I trace it with my finger and blink my eyes at the stinging. I swallow and quickly put on a clean diaper and snap her clothes back in place. Then I do what Merle told me to do, I look at my daughter.

Everything I had said on the day she was born was true; she was the spitting image of Daryl in almost everyway. Maybe that was why it hurt to look at her? I didn't know. But I did know that everything Merle, and Tara had said was true, I was a bad mother. I had been since the day I even suspected of being pregnant. I hadn't wanted her, and if Merle hadn't of caught me with the pills she probably wouldn't even be here right now.

That thought made me feel sick.

I did love my daughter; I just don't know how to be a mother. I had always been told about this bond that parents were supposed to have with their children. Daryl had gotten it, but I hadn't. Maybe it was because of all that was going on around the time of her birth, or the mess we found ourselves in now? Maybe Abraham was right and I felt guilty that I was alive when Hershel and several others weren't?

In the end I did not know why.

But I did know I was going to work on my problem.

Merle was right; this little wiggling bundle in my arms was all I had left of Daryl. I set her back down on the floor and pulled my bag over to me. I pulled off Abraham's sweater and pulled on Daryl's jacket that I had scavenged from our cell. It smelled just like him. I picked Shayla back up and laid her against my chest before I zipped the coat over her, wrapping us both in its warmth. I gently rest my cheek against the top of Shayla's head and close my eyes. I loved my daughter, and I would never give anyone reason to doubt that again.

* * *

><p><strong>Next Chapter<strong>: Kelly works on bonding with Shayla, Glenn finds Maggie, and…. **The rest is up to you!**

If there is anything you would like to see let me know, I'm sort of out of ideas at the moment but I don't want to end this just yet, so please give me some ideas!

I mean anything: Flashbacks, different points of view on anything, ECT. LET ME KNOW!

Please review!

Hope you all enjoyed this!


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Choices We Claim

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **sweetkiwi604, Guest, mrskaz453, DarylDixon'sLover, Dean Winchester's Play Thing, and mattsey22! You all are the best!

**Thank You to the **83 favorites and 130 followers

Yet another delay, I am so sorry. But on the up side I have figured out what I want to do with this story. I am going to do one to two more chapters and put it on hold until the new season starts in October because I don't want to go messing around in Terminus too much until we know what its actually about!

* * *

><p>Chapter Thirteen: Choices We Claim<p>

When we started out the next morning tensions were high. Merle wasn't talking to me and Tara was staying far from me. Abraham had wrapped my wrist up with some ripped up strips of a bed sheet and Shayla was laying snug in her sling at my chest. I kept glancing over at Merle trying to catch his eye so we could talk, but he just looked straight ahead and kept a blank face. It was obvious he hadn't calmed down much since last night. We were walking in a tight formation because apparently in the night several walkers had passed by in the direction we were walking in. I rolled my shoulders and bit back a sigh as we walked. I couldn't wait until we stopped for lunch so I could talk to Merle, and maybe take Abraham up on his suggestion and talk to Tara. If there was one thing I had learned in this mess it was that the more enemies a person had the harder life was. And life was hard enough as it was.

But we ended up not being able to stop at all. We were walking along the railroad tracks trying to find a vehicle for Abraham and crew. We had stumbled across a few, but they were either out of gas or had flat tires or something along those lines. Shayla was getting very fussy and I was almost to the point of asking if we could stop when Glenn suddenly broke out into a run, causing us all to run off after him. He didn't run far, just a few paces until he stopped in front of a map with red writing on it.

Glenn stared at the sign, a strange look on his face. When I read it I felt something loosen in my chest. Maggie, Sasha, and Bob were alive. They were alive and we knew where they were going. Terminus. "Sanctuary for all. Community for all those who arrive. Survive." I didn't quite know how to feel about that. We had seen similar signs on our trip, but we hadn't paid much attention to them. I didn't want to go and three members of our group actually had a destination in mind. All that was left undecided was Glenn and Tara. But I now knew Glenn's choice, he was going to Terminus.

We stopped to rest by the sign. Glenn and Abraham up close to the map, Tara and Rosita were building a fire, and Merle was doing circles a few feet out from the camp on lookout. Shayla was awake and squirming around in my arms, her hair was slowly growing and dark, thin brown hair was lightly dusting her head, even her hair was going to be Daryl's since mine was a light brown. I bounced her around and pointed at various things telling her what they were. When Merle walked towards us I held her up in his direction. "There's your grumpy Uncle Merle." I say, but he just snorts and keeps walking, I follow a few steps behind him and keep talking to Shayla. "He looks like a brute, and most of the time he is, but whenever he tells you something or gives you advice, it's always in your best interest to listen to him. He's smarter than he looks." I reach out and grab Merle's arm and look up at him. "And he showed mommy how stupid and selfish she's been in the past week." I sigh and hold his wrist. "I'm sorry Merle. I'm so sorry."

"Same." He says back, but I shake my head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. If anything you should have yelled at me sooner. Everything you said was true. I'm a horrible mother, but I'm working on it. I've been afraid of her since before she was born. She was always Daryl's dream, and I was so scared of everything. Then when we lost the prison…." I suck in a breath and calm down. "I have no excuse for treating my daughter like I was. She is all I have left of Daryl besides this necklace and his jacket. I want to love her like Daryl loved her; I want to be the mother that Daryl always believed I could be." Merle nods and motions me to follow him as he extends his circle a little further from the camp.

"Do you really think he's dead? He asks looking at me.

"I don't know. I always thought that if one person would live to see this through to the end it was him. But we weren't fighting the dead back there. Even the strongest can fall to the most cowardly."

"I don't think he's gone."

"Why not?" I ask looking up at him, he just chuckles a little bit.

"Daryl told me he never though I was dead in Atlanta. It's my turn to return the favor. He's one tough son of a bitch; I think he's out there, somewhere." We walk a few steps in silence before he makes a disgusted noise and mutters something about mushy situations before he asks for Shayla.

I take his gun and hand him my baby, making sure to pull off his sword from his metal attachment. Watching Merle with Shayla had always made me giggle, she was very tiny and he was huge. And the look he got on his face when he held her….there wasn't words out there to describe how I felt when I saw that.

Suddenly an image of Dale flashes behind my eyes. "_Words can be meager things. Sometimes they fall short."_ He had said that the first night I had met him as we all sat around the camp fire. While I knew what he meant, I never truly understood the words until I saw Daryl hold Shayla for the first time, and as I look at Merle now.

We make a few circles around the camp before the moment is broken when Shayla starts to whimper and wiggle in Merle's arms. "She's wet." He says poking the front of Shayla's diaper.

"Give her here, I'll change her."

"No, I'll do it. Walking in circles is boring. We'll be back." He says as he walks off with Shayla and I stick my tongue out at him. I hated being on watch.

* * *

><p>I walked a few circles again when something further up caught my eye. I pull the gun up to my face and use the aim to see further. There was a corn field up there, and if I was seeing right there was corn! I quickly turn and run back towards camp. "What's wrong!?" Abraham asks as I come running towards camp.<p>

"Nothing, but I think there is corn growing across that field over there."

"Corn? Like real corn?"

"Yep. I think we should go get some."

"I'll go-." Merle says but Abraham asks if he would stay behind and watch Eugene and camp and he would go with me. Merle is not too happy with it.

"Please Merle, I want you with Shayla. We'll be right back. You can probably still see us up there."

Abraham grabbed a bag and we walked towards the corn field. "So you and Merle made up?"

"Yeah, we did. It's so easy to forget he actually has a brain in there; he relies so much on his image and intimidation to think of anything else. But he has a good heart."

"He'd of made a good soldier as far as the physical go. But his temper would have gotten him several days of extra duty and days on the obstacle coarse."

"How did you meet your wife?" I ask looking up at him, he raises an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, that was a little blunt, you don't have to answer, I was just wondering."

"I told you last night I met her when I was in the army, but as to how…" he gives a little laugh. "I was stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, a post in Missouri. One day my buddies and I were on leave and we went to the movies. Well, were never really got a chance to act out so we started throwing random things at people in front of us. About half way though my popcorn was gone so I chucked my container at a group of people in front of us and bam, my container bounced off her head and she turned around and fixed me with the dirtiest look you could ever imagine." My mouth was on the ground at the image I had of Abraham being obnoxious at all, let alone throwing trash at people.

"Then what happened?"

"I followed her out of the movie and asked her out. After about a month of bugging her she agreed. A year later I got transfer orders, we married, and she moved with me to Fort Bragg."

"Wow, that's so cute. Such a cute story."

"How did you meet Daryl?" he asks as we pass into the corn field and we start picking the corn from the stalks.

"Nowhere near that cute considering when I met him. It took us a while to really talk to each other. Like out first conversation was a week after I first saw him. So which one do you wanna hear about?"

"The first time you saw him, he must have left an impression if it took you a week to talk to him."

So we talked as we worked. His bag was full, but we were enjoying our time so we sat in the corn and talked, Merle would come find us if we were gone too long. We were lying on the ground facing each other, but our conversation has drifted into the land of the sad as I was telling him about loosing Lori and being lost in the tombs of the prison. "It was horrible; I didn't think I'd see anyone again. Just like now I guess. But I was alone, that made it worse."

"You're not alone here."

"I know, and I tank God for that everyday."

"Glenn is going to go to Terminus, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I guess follow Glenn as long as I can, but I don't think I'll go there."

"Why?"

"I don't know, maybe it's because movement usually means life these days. And the past three places I've been that were supposed to be safe ended horribly. I don't think I can take that a fourth time."

"You could come to D.C. with me." he says, his voice dropping lower than normal.

I look up at him and I finally notice how we were laying. I swallow and give him a smile, trying not to let the sudden discomfort show. "Like I said, I don't know what I'm going to do." He reaches a hand out and pushes my hair from my face, I feel my heart speed up and my chest tightens.

"I would protect you. You and Shayla. We are going to be moving for a long time. No worries about massive hordes tearing though while we sleep." As he talks he moves closer, soon I can feel his breath on my face.

"Abraham, I just….I don't think….."

"Please?" he says as he leans all the way forward and kisses me.

My eyes fall shut as his lips touch mine. My stomach clenches as butterflies erupt inside it. His hand gently falls on my shoulder as it deepens; it glides up to my throat where he plays with the faded black string that rest there.

I immediately pull back and push him away. My heart is pounding and I'm breathing fast. I put my hand to my throat and feel the yellow feather and I'm filled with regret and guilt over what I did. "I'm sorry." Abraham says quickly wiping his mouth.

"No, it's not your fault. I'm sorry. I should have…." I sigh and look up at him. "Abraham, you're a great man, and anyone would be happy to have you. But I cant, at least not yet."

"Kelly. There is nothing wrong with what we did-."

"Yes there is. There is still a chance that Daryl is alive. No matter the chances of seeing him again, he could still be alive. I won't do to him what Lori did to my brother. I can't. And I'm sorry." Abraham nods and stands up, dusting the dirt off his pants. I stand up beside him, handing him the bag of corn.

"We better get ba-." He falls silent and goes stiff.

"What is it?" I ask, looking in the same direction he was.

"I heard something." He says, dropping the bag of corn back to the ground. "Stay here." he says as he slowly walks off away from the direction of the camp. I stand still for maybe a minute before I follow after him, never being one to take orders.

* * *

><p>I go off in the same direction, soon I catch up with him and he just rolls his eyes at me. We take a few more steps before my blood goes cold when an all too familiar smell hits my nose. The smell of blood and death. My hand flies to Abraham's arm as I strain my ears, praying I didn't hear anything. After a few seconds I hear a growing sound of shuffling and growling. There was another herd close by. We quickly and quietly turn and head back towards camp with every intention of packing up and running, but before we even reach the edge of the field a loud voice calls at us. "Damn it you two where the hell are ya!?" Merle's voice carries and we know the herd heard it.<p>

We take off in a run, and we crash into Merle. "Run!" I yell at him as the first walkers pop out of the corn field behind us. We kill the ones that get close, but soon we are just running. "We can't take them to camp!" Merle says, "We'll loose all the supplies."

And Shayla was there! I had seen first hand what a herd of walkers could do and we were as unprepared as you could be. I grab Merle's hand and tug him close to me.

"Take care of Shayla." That's all I say before I start screaming and running away from Merle and Abraham. I wait till I have most of the walkers interest before I turn and run like normal as fast as I can. Some walkers were still interested in Merle and Abraham as they weren't running, but I was much louder. I would lead as many as I could away from the camp, away from my daughter.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

I had run after Beth until I collapsed on the ground in defeat. I had lost sight of the car that had taken her minutes, possibly hours ago. But I had kept running after it, even though I knew there was no chance in catching it. My legs and chest hurt, I had lost Beth, the only person I had left from the group, from home. Damn those walkers, damn the dog, and damn my own stupidity. Why the hell did I open that damn door without checking? Cause I got to fucking comfortable that's why. I punched the ground below me and hang my head, my now sore hand clenching around my bow. Goddamn everything.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

What I failed to think through with my wonderful plan was how slow I was now, and how determined a hungry, riled up walker could be, let alone a whole group of them. But one thing I could do that they couldn't was climb. So as I ran my eyes were scanning for a tree that I could climb up. My lungs were burning and I wanted to cry in frustration as I ran into the railroad tracks, but they were behind where the camp was. I run beside them and I almost sob in relief as a suitable tree falls into my line of sight. With shaking legs and arms I pull myself up the tree, kicking a walker in the face as I do.

I moved as high up the tree as I could on my sore legs. I could have gone higher, but I was hurting too much to do that. I hug the tree and try not to cry out as the fire in my lungs and side burn wild. I was hot, sweaty, and shaking. The walkers were clawing and gnawing on the tree below. They knew I was up here. I pulled off my belt and carefully moved to a smaller part of the branch I was on. I wrapped the belt around it and stuck on of my feet through the loop. I was going to have to sleep at some point, and it might as well be now. I was stuck up here; they weren't going to go away until, possibly, tonight. So I might as well rest, they couldn't get to me up here. I zip Daryl's jacket back up to my chin. Now that I was standing still the cold breeze was cooling me down, the sweat on my body dried cold making me shiver. I closed my eyes and quickly wiped away the one tear I felt on my face.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

I still hadn't moved, I had been here a while, and even though I knew I needed to move I hadn't. But when I hear several footsteps I grip my bow extremely tight. They steps were even and straight, not the looping and uneven shuffling of walkers, it was a group of people closing in on me. I didn't raise my head an inch as several pairs of shoes came into my line of sight. "Well, lookit here." a low voice says, I glance up a little, but I still can't see his face, but I soon get a good look at it when he suddenly makes a move for me. I punch his leg and stand straight up, my arrow pointed right at the old man's face. "Damn it, hold up!" the old man says. He's on the ground; I feel satisfaction at the blood trickling from his face.

I know the others have their weapons pointed at me, but I have a feeling this guy is the leader. Even though I wouldn't win this, I wasn't dying without a fight. I wouldn't shame myself that way. I resist the urge to turn my bow at the voice behind me that was talking about my vest. "I like them wings." The only way he's get this vest would be over my dead body.

"Hold up." the old man says again, wiping the blood from his face. He pulls his hand away and starts laughing at the blood he sees. Then he stands up. I move back enough to still have a clean shot at him, but he just starts talking. "A bowman. I respect that. See, a man with a rifle, he could have been some kind of photographer or soccer coach back in the day." Why the hell was he talking about this shit? He keeps talking and I feel my muscles getting tenser as he continues. "But a bowman's a bowman through and through. What you got there, I'll be donkey-licked if that don't fire at least 300 feet per second." Did this asshole actually expect me to talk back? "I've been looking for a weapon like that." I tighten my grip even more, my knuckles white on the dark metal. "Of course, I'd want one with a bit more ammo and minus the oblongata stains." The others chuckle behind me; most of them probably don't even know what that means.

"Get yourself in some trouble, partner?" that came from behind me, but I can't tell if it's the vest guy or not. The old man starts talking again.

"You pull that trigger, these boys are gonna drop you several times over." As if I didn't already know that. "That what you want? Come on, fella, suicide is stupid." He pauses for a moment then he smiles, "why hurt yourself when you can hurt other people?" I loosen my grip a little, and he sees that. "Name's Joe." I look him in the eyes for half a second before I lower my bow.

"Daryl."

* * *

><p>Then, just like that, I'm back in a group. I don't like this group. Joe is not a good guy, he reminds me of Carter in more ways that I can count. But a group is a group. I walk behind them, my bow still tight in my hands and ready to rise at a seconds notice. Joe falls back as we walk. "Wanna tell me what had you sitting cross-legged in the dirt?"<p>

"No."

"Speak more than one syllable?"

"Maybe."

"Put you to the test." He says his voice getting louder. "Spread out, look for chow." And they do just that. I stand in the middle of the road and watch them. Joe turns and looks at me. "You don't hunt you don't eat." He says before he walks off. I spit at the spot he was standing at before turning and walking into the woods.

It didn't take me long to wind up on close to one of the men in the group. I just ignored him and focused on the ground, looking for tracks. I was hungry. I finally see rabbit tracks; I crack a small smile as I start creeping along the tracks it made as it hopped across the loose dirt. I can hear the other guy behind me, but I freeze when I see the little grey rabbit just ahead. I line the bow and fire, half a second after the other guys. "What the hell are you doing?" I ask, standing and trying not to yell at this asshole.

"Catching me some breakfast." He says, sounding smug as I pull the arrows out.

"Find your own. That's mine." I say picking up the dead rabbit.

"My arrow's the one that hit first. Cottontail belongs to me."

"Saw the tracks first, you just followed." I put my arrow back in my bow before I stand up. The guy starts talking, must be a group thing, talking unnecessarily about shit that don't make sense.

"You see, the rules of the hunt don't mean jack out here. Now, that rabbit you're holding is claimed, boy." I toss his arrow far into the woods, getting more annoyed with all the chatter. "Claimed whether you like it or not. So I was you, I'd hand it over." I start walking towards him, the rabbit swinging limply from my hands. "Now before you get to wishing you ain't never even got out of bed this morning."

"It ain't yours." I say, stopping inches in front of him, some part in my brain was wishing he's start something.

"You know, I'll bet this bitch got you all messed up, hmm?" he says with a sarcastic smile. "Am I right?" I walk around him, not in the mood to deal with it. "Got you walking around here like a dead man who just lost himself a piece of tail. Must have been a good'un." I freeze in my steps, my brain bouncing between Beth and Kelly. "Tell me something. Was it one of the little'uns?" my blood boils in my veins as I unclip my knife and grip it tight, thinking of my little girl. "'Cause they don't last too long out here." I grit my teeth, ready to swing around and kill this asshole when Joe comes out of nowhere and grabs my hand, forcing me away from my target.

"Easy, fellas, easy." That stupid asshole chuckling as Joe refuses to let my wrist go. "Let's just put our weapons down. See if we can't figure out what's really the problem here, huh?" he lets me go and stands between me and the other man. I'm still pissed, but I don't show it, anger makes people stupid. "Did you claim it?" he asks, I hide my confusion, claim what?

"Hell, yeah." The man says, swinging his crappy bow over his shoulder.

"Well, there you go. That critter belongs to Len." Oh good, the prick had a name now.

"So let's have it." These people were insane if they thought I was just going to hand it over.  
>"Looks like you may be wanting an explanation. See, going it alone, that ain't an option nowadays." And then he's off again, more fucking talking. But he reminds me so much of my father that I find myself forcing myself to keep my head up and not look defeated. As I fought with myself I found out Joe wasn't as dumb as these clowns and what "claimed" meant. I felt my pride ruffle at the thought of saying claimed like a dog.<p>

"I ain't claiming nothing." I say, gripping the damn rabbit tighter, I felt the bones grind together under my hands, any harder and I was going to break them.

"We're gonna teach him, right? The rules say we got to teach him." Len says, maybe the physical fight I was itching for was about to happen. With all the frustration I had built up inside me I'd smear his blood all over the ground.

"It wouldn't be fair to punish you for violating a rule you never even knew existed." Joe says, I bit back a snicker. Rules my ass, after all I'd gone through, I knew rules didn't exist. And I told them as such.

"There ain't no rules no more."

"Oh, there are. You know that. That's why I didn't kill you for the crossbow." I look at Len and suddenly hold tighter to the rabbit as Joe grabs the rabbit.

"Easy there, partner." Joe says as I fix him with a look, but it quickly fades at his face….

_You better listen up you boy. I already told you and I aint gonna tell you again!"_

Joe pulls the rabbit tight and then chops it in half. Half the thing dangles free in my hand, its blood falling on the ground, and he tosses the other half to Len. Len goes off but Joe stays back and looks at me. "Claimed. That's all you got to say." I glance down at the mutilated rabbit and resist the urge to throw it away. "Hey, ass end is still an end."

* * *

><p>We start walking again. I walk even further back than I was. Trying to keep my head on straight, if I didn't know better I'd have to say Joe was Carter's brother. They were too much alike. I instinctively went on guard when Joe fell back to walk by me again. "So what's the plan, Daryl?"<p>

"How so?" I ask, wanting him to go away.

"You're with us now, but you ain't soon?"

"Yep."

"So what's the plan?" his voice….I had to give him some type of answer.

"Just looking for the right place is all."

"Oh, we ain't good enough for you, huh?" he asks, his cigarette smoke making me crave one myself, I hadn't had one since the big meeting between Rick and the Governor.

"Some of you ain't exactly friendly."

"You ain't so friendly yourself." He says with the same chuckle he had when he looked at his blood. "You know you need a group out here."

"Maybe I don't."

"No, you do. You should be with us." Then off he went again, but instead of being board with it, I listened. "People don't got to be friendly." Then he walked about how the group got on, as if to bring his point home a random walker came stumbling towards us, two guys took it out and I didn't even raise my bow. "We just got to follow the rules. You claim." Then he went off with the rest of the rules. I still was not going to claim, but I needed to know what else was expected, I was going to be here until I found a place, who knew how long that would be. Then I wondered about consequences, a group like this there had to be some.

"What happens if you break 'em?"

"Oh, you catch a beatin'. The severity of which depends upon the offense and the general attitude of the day." Yep, just like my old man. "But that don't happen much 'cause when men like us follow rules and cooperate a little bit, well, the world becomes ours."

Then he stops and whistles loudly and the group stops. "Right there. It's our abode for the evening."

"Hey." I say looking at him, refusing to let this man make me feel like I was five years old again. "There ain't no us." He turns and looks at me.

"You leaving right now?" he pauses and stares at me, I don't move. "No? Then it sure seems like there's an us." He takes a few steps towards the old shop, I feel low, like everything I had thought I had control over was all a lie. Then Joe turns back to me. "You a cat person, Daryl? I am. Loved 'em since I was three years old. Vicious creatures. Anyway, I'll tell you, and this is true, ain't nothing sadder than an outdoor cat that thinks he's an indoor cat." And with that, I found myself feeling like I was five, and I blindly followed Joe into the old shop.

Once we got in and checked it "Claimed." That stupid word camp spilling out of all their mouths like diarrhea. Claimed. Claimed. Claimed. Screw it. All the cars were taken and I still wasn't going to let that word fall from my lips. So I tossed my bag on the ground tucked my bow under my legs and laid down tossing my arm over my eyes. All I wanted was to sleep and forget about this shitty day. So I did. For the first time in several nights I actually sleep. I see Kelly and Merle, the prison. I see Shayla, I feel her weight in my arms, it was the best night's sleep I had had in days.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

I woke with the dawn. My back was sore from sleeping on the hard tree, but when I look down I smile in relief, only two walkers were still at the base of the tree. They would be easy to distract or kill so I could get down. I unbuckled my belt and put it back on. I stretched my sore muscles and sat up against the trunk. I'm hungry and thirsty, and my chest hurts from the milk that has been building up since I last fed Shayla. I closed my eyes and was so happy we had been grabbing all the formula we had found on our walk, Shayla had enough food to last a while. Maybe she'd end up in Terminus with Glenn or DC with Abraham, wherever she was, I knew Merle would be right beside her, keeping her safe. She would grow up.

I stretch again and pop my neck. I need to get down and find food and water. I take off my shoe and put my knife in my mouth. I climb down the tree a little bit, but I toss my shoe. It hits the ground and makes a sound, distracting the walkers from the tree. They turn and go after the sound. I quickly climb down the tree and grasp my knife tight in my hand. I walk after the walkers, one if further up than the other one, so I kill one first, the sound of its body hitting the ground brings the other one back, and I quickly dispose of it, grunting as I pull my knife from its head. Just for good measure I give it a hard kick before I pick up my shoe. I turn around from putting it on to see about six men with bows all pointed at me.

My heart starts pounding as they quickly close in. "Damn, little girl with talent." One says

"Maybe she has some others." Another one says, he then starts forward, "claimed" he says as he grabs my arm. I immediately start fight him, kicking and clawing at him, yelling at him, demanding he let me go. I hit his groin and he buckles and hits the ground, but soon the rest of them are on my, grabbing my arms and keeping me still.

"Let me go!" I yell as I struggle against them. The man I kicked stands up and his face is pure rage, a part of my brain tells me to close my eyes and just let it happen, but the other part, the one that had gotten bolder as time had gone on, was ready to fight back tooth and nail.

But then a sharp whistle and they let me go as an older man with messy white hair comes up from behind a tree, he is wearing a black shirt and holding a cigarette in his hand. I'm breathing hard and fast, but everything stops when a man in tan pants and a black shirt and vest with a crossbow comes out behind him. My jaw hits the ground and tears well up in my eyes. "Daryl." I breathe as I run past all the men and right into his arms. I wrap my arms around his neck and my tears fall faster than I think they ever had before. "Oh my god Daryl you're alive."

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

My slumber is disturbed as an angry voice hits my ears. "You gotta be kidding me! Christ." I jump up from where I was laying to look at an advancing Len. What the hell now with this guy. "Give it here."

"You step back." I warn him, this asshole had the nerve to ruin my find night.

"My half was in the bag. Now it's gone." What we he talking about? "Now ain't nobody around here interested in no half a damn cottontail except you. Ain't that right?"

"You're the only one still thinking about that crap." I say getting in his face, annoyance and anger seeping back into my bones.

"Empty your bag." He says, making a move for my bag. I pick it up and move it out of his reach.

"I said step back!" and I angrily stare at him, but then fucking Joe rips my bag from my hand, I feel myself shaking with rage.

"Did you take his rabbit, Daryl? Just tell me the truth."

"I didn't take nothing." I say, not taking my eyes off Len. I feel them twitch when Joe dumps my shit on the floor.

"What do we got here? Come on." He shakes the bag and out falls the rabbits head. "Well, look at that." Joe says.

I advance on Len. "You put that there, didn't you? When I went out to take a piss!"

"You lied. Didn't you? You lied. You stole." He kept gouging his finger in my chest. "We gonna teach this fool or what, Joe?" he moves at me like he's gonna swing, but Joe steps between us again.

"Whoa, whoa. Now, Daryl says he didn't take your half of the rabbit. So we got a little conundrum here. Either he's lying, which is an actionable offense, or you didn't plant it on him like some pussy, punk-ass, cheating, coward cop, did you? 'Cause while that wouldn't be specifically breaking the rules, it'd be disappointing."

"It would." Len says, getting in Joe's face. "I didn't."

"Good." Joe says, stepping back maybe an inch before he slugs Len right in the face, knocking him to the floor. "Well teach him a lesson, gents." The other guys gather around Len and then they start kicking him, the sounds echo a bit off the empty walls. I glance stonily between him and Joe. "He's a lying sack of shit. I'm sick of it. Teach him all the way." they keep kicking him then Joe looks at me.

"I saw him do it."

"Why didn't you try to stop him?" I ask.

"He wanted to play that out. I let him. You told the truth. He lied. You understand the rules. He doesn't." then he bends down and picks up the other end of the rabbit and tosses it at me. "Looks like you get the head, too." Then he walks off. Not joining in on the beating, I don't either. I just put my stuff back in my bag and walk over to the car that Len had claimed last night. I sit in the front seat and lay the seat back. At least there was one asshole I had to deal with.

* * *

><p>The dawn broke and we were up and out. I saw the blood stains on the floor where Len had been beat on, then I saw his body outside with an arrow through his head. I considered covering him with a ratty old sheet, but then, after what he had said when we fought over the damn rabbit, he deserved to get chewed up. So I simply tore the arrow from his skull and walked after the group.<p>

As we walked I kept to the back, I still didn't trust these guys. And just like yesterday, Joe fell back beside me. He offered me a flask and I gladly took it. "White Lightning. Easiest thing to make with the least amount of supplies." I take a huge chug, trying not to think of Beth and her quest for liquor. This stuff was rough, but the burn was relaxing. "I'd start slow if I was you. Your stomach's probably emptier than you think." I take another drink then hand it back.

"I ain't been lit at dawn since before everything fell apart."

"Fell apart. I never looked at it like that."

"Not talking about the walkers. Before you found me I was in a group. Had myself a girl and a baby. Nice set up, liquor was available, there were nights when she had pushed me to my limit, so while she slept I drank. Only way to deal with some of it."

"A baby? Daryl it can't be a baby."

"She was, she was three days old when our camp was attacked." He suddenly burst out laughing.

"Damn, I didn't think anyone left wanted to do that. It seems to me like things are finally starting to fall together. At least for guys like us. Living like this, surviving. We've been doing this from the start, right?" I nod and he hands me back the flask after he takes a drink. "What was your girl's name?"

"Kelly."

"Nice name." he says as we catch up with the rest of the group that are gathered around a sign talking about a place called Terminus. I just stared at it, my brain thinking that it would be a good place to look for Kelly, if she was even still alive. "Getting closer." Joe says, looking at the sign too.

"You seen this before?" I ask.

"Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what it is. It's a lie. Ain't no sanctuary for all. Ain't gonna welcome guys like you and me with open arms." We start walking again.

"So is that where we're headed?"

"So now you're asking?"

"That's right." But instead of getting a yes or no answer, I get yet another story.

"We were in a house minding our own business and this walking piece of fecal matter was hiding in the home. Strangled our colleague Lou and left him to turn.  
>Lou came at all of us. He lit out. We tracked him to these tracks, one of those signs, and thus we've got a destination in mind."<p>

"You see his face?"

"Only Tony. That's enough for a reckoning." We walk a little further until the guy in front of us stops and looks at the ground, I see what he's looking at it and recognize it immediately, it's a type of root that Kelly had shown me that was eatable.

"Claimed." I say, sweeping in to grab it, my pride didn't even waver as I put it in my bag.

We kept walking, Joe sent the group off to hunt, but he and I stuck together, he said he wanted to see my bow shoot. I just grunted and off we went. We had walked maybe ten minutes when a scream tore through the air, a human scream, a woman's scream. "Let's go see what they boys caught this time." Joe says turning and walking towards the sound.

"This time?"

"Just like with you occasionally we find people. Only a handful get to stay, and only a handful last long. As if following the rules were hard." The closer we get the more I can hear. The woman is fighting, I can tell from the sounds, she keeps yelling "let me go" and some swear words. She had a mouth on her. We walked around the tree and I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw who they had a hold of. At Joe's whistle they let her go, but it was only once I got around a tree that she saw me. Her eyes widen and she jaw dropped. She mouths something before she ran right into me.

I grunted at the impact and struggled to breathe as she wrapped her arms tight around my neck. My bow hit the ground with a loud thump as my arms wrapped around her. Not caring how this looked to the people surrounding us. Kelly was alive. She was alive and in my arms. I could feel her tears on my shoulder and I pulled her back and slammed my lips against hers, kissing her as hard as I good, savoring her taste, enjoying the feel of her in my arms again. We pull apart and I wipe the tears from her face, she is grinning ear to ear and I just look at her. She was dirty, thinner than I remembered her hair greasy and pulled into what must have been a bun at some point. The necklace I gave her at her throat and my old jacket on her shoulders. She was alive. Tears were still falling from her eyes as I pulled her back against me. She was here. "I love you." I say as I squeeze her hard against me. As she said she loved me too I knew I would be damned if I was ever separated from her again.

Then as I looked at her I realized how tight her shirt was, then I realized she was alone. "Did you find Shayla?" I ask, my stomach twisting into knots, dreading her answer.

* * *

><p><strong>Next Chapter<strong>: Daryl and Kelly are together at last! Is that Rick on the horizon? Will Kelly tell Daryl about Abraham? What about the man in Joe's group that claimed Kelly?

Please review!

Hope you all enjoyed this!


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Questions on Guilt

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **DarylDixon'sLover, mrskaz453, mattsey22, gummybear1825, and sweetkiwi604!

**Thank You to the **88 favorites and 134 followers!

**Explanation of Delay: **So I guess the universe doesn't want this story to be written, two days after my last update my whole computer crashes and I lost everything for this story. I had this chapter outlined and parts written. So I had to redo it all as well as deal with some person stuff.

**Note on Story:** There will be one more chapter of this story before it will temporarily be labeled as "complete" until October and I actually see what's going on in Terminus land.

The next chapter is going to be quite lengthy and is going to deal with very heavy subject matter. The next chapter will probably be bumped up to M rating.

* * *

><p>Chapter Fourteen: Questions on Guilt<p>

Daryl's PoV

She felt smaller. Smaller than she was before she was pregnant. Her hair was tangled, piled on the top of her head with wild strands pocking out all over her head, her shirt was pulled tight across her chest, like it always was if Shayla was sleeping late or too fussy to nurse. I pull back and look at her, my eyes are probably wide, but I did know my heart was racing. Kelly gave me a small smile. "She's alive, she's with Merle." I felt my whole body relax and my eyes fell closed. My family was alive, all of them. I pulled her back to my chest and smiled myself as she nuzzled her head against my chest like she always did when we cuddled.

I came back to my senses when someone cleared their throats, Joe and the rest were standing in a half circle looking at us, Joe has an amused smirk on his face. I pull back and swing her back behind me. "She's mine." I say with a growl.

"Figured as much Daryl, but we have a little problem again, see Drake here," Joe puts his hand on the other man's shoulder, "said claimed when they found her."

"I don't give a shit who said claimed, she's mine." I grip my bow tight in my hand and I can feel the nervous waves rolling off Kelly.

"Now calm down, am I correct is saying this is your girl, Kelly?"

"Yea." I say back, still not relaxing.

"Then the claim is void. Its one thing to steal a meal and a cot, but another to take the mother of your child. But I'd keep her close if I were you." he says shifting his eyes to Kelly who was shaking under his gaze.

"No problem." I say, grabbing her hand and walking away from the group as Joe yells out at the group to finish hunting.

* * *

><p>I hold Kelly's hand tight in my hand as we walk through the woods collecting berries and nuts, stuff she's better at than me. She fills me in on what happened to her after the prison fell. "So Shayla is with Merle and those people you found?"<p>

"Yea, Glenn is going to Terminus and Abraham is going to D.C. I don't know who Merle is going with, if either of them. But I know Shayla is with him."

"And this Eugene thinks he knows what started this?"

"That's what he says."

"You don't think so?"

"I don't know what I think. Honestly I was so messed up when we found them that I couldn't form an opinion of him if you asked me too."

"But Shayla is alive?"

"Yes, alive and well. She's getting hair, it looks just like yours. Like I said when she was born, I did all the work for her to look just like you. So unfair."

"I'm just so happy she's alive."

"Me too. After I left you I went to the bus, but she wasn't there. So I ran off it and went inside, I found Evelyn, she had been shot. I grabbed Shayla and some stuff and I ran."

My trash bag has a decent amount of food in it now; I even managed to get a squirrel that ran by. We go back to the clearing and start cooking it. I wrap my arm around her and I can't help but smile as she snuggles up against me like she has always done. She smells like sweat, but I probably don't smell much better. "Should have asked this earlier, but what happened to your hand?" I say as I pick it up and look at the dirty wrap.

"I punched that ponytail chick in the face." she says with a shrug. I can't help but laugh at her and flashback to when she punched Carol in the face, or the time she told me about tackling Andrea back at the farm. Anyone who said Kelly didn't have a temper has obviously not seen her right hook.

"Punched her that hard huh?" I ask looking down at her just as a soft red spreads across her face.

"Not exactly, I short of fell down the stares after I hit her." then I couldn't help but straight up laugh at her and her story.

"Well, I'm sure she has a nice bruise, just like Carol and Andrea did. I hope this girl's reason for crossing you was worth it."

But my laughter dies completely when I see the look on her face; she isn't smiling anymore, just looking at the fire and chewing on her lip. Then she asks if the squirrels are done. I stand up and poke at the meat with my finger. "A few more minutes." I say dropping back down beside her. She immediately curls back up next to me and snuggles her head against my chest.

"God I missed you." she says, I give her a squeeze and we watch the fire.

And that's when I felt that something was wrong with her.

But I didn't know what. And before I could ask Joe was saying it was time for us to start moving again. So we take our not-totally-cooked squirrel and follow the group.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

Daryl and I stayed at the back, and I stayed somewhat behind him. These men made me uncomfortable, especially the one that had grabbed me at the start. The more we walked the more sore I became, after running for so long and sleeping in a tree I'm surprised I hadn't fallen over because of how shaky my legs were. I decided to talk to Daryl to take my mind off the pain, as happy as I was to be with him again, my chest felt tight with guilt and shame about all I had done since we were separated. "Who are these people?" I ask looking at the decent sized group in front of us.

"After Beth, they found me. Figured a group was a little better than nothing. Easier to sleep."

"Are we going to stay with them?" I ask, talking was a blessed distraction from all I was feeling.

"No. we are gonna track down Merle and get Shayla back."

"Do you think you they'll give us any trouble?"

"No. if they had a problem they'd say something, trust me."

We walk a little further and the silence that fell over us made me feel anxious all over again. I hated it. Normally the silence between us was fine, normal, but all I wanted was sound, a distraction that I would only get if I kept asking questions. "Where are they going?" I ask since we seemed to just be following the tracks, the same tracks that went to Terminus.

"We're tracking a person." Joe says, as he falls back to walk by Daryl and I. "He killed a friend of mine."

"I'm sorry." I say, taking a step closer to Daryl.

"This group you were with, did you stay in a house a few days ago?" Joe asks, I see Daryl tense up but I shake my head no.

"We stayed outside most of the time, then a cabin by a river, a friend in my group is looking for his wife."

"Maybe he'll find her." he says looking at me with a smile. I look ahead and try to ignore him the rest of the time we're walking.

And I decide not to ask anymore questions either. No matter what I did or told myself I couldn't make the feelings go away. I knew I couldn't keep this bottled up inside me. All the months I spent in therapy after Brian had played havoc on my ability to bottle up my feelings when it came to loved ones. And this was no exception. If I didn't tell Daryl it would just come spilling out. I couldn't afford for that to happen, but I couldn't keep it from him either.

So I decided to tell him at the first chance we got for privacy.

I would tell him everything.

And pray he would forgive me for all of it.

* * *

><p>As night falls we stop at an auto shop. I stay close to Daryl as they sweep the room before Daryl shouts "claimed" and drops his stuff on the hood of an old truck. "This looks like the one we had two winters ago. Remember?" I ask, but he just grunts and pulls the tailgate down. I climb up in it and sigh in relief as I sit down and relax my legs. "So, what's with this claimed business?" I ask when Daryl climbs up next to me.<p>

"Just something they do. Keeps this spot for us, no one will bother us."

"So, it's like a dog peeing on a tree in its yard?"

"Sorta." He says leaning back against the truck with his eyes closed.

I look at him as a weird silence falls over us. I know he's just tired, but I figured he'd be a little chattier than this. "How's your shoulder?" I ask, reaching up and rubbing at it.

"'s fine." He mumbles back. I bite at my lip before I grab Daryl's trash bag and lay it down as a pillow before I put my head on it. I stare at the side of the truck. I try to come up with a way to tell him about what I had done in a way that wouldn't make me seem like a selfish jerk. But the more I thought on it the more I realized there was no way to sugar coat what I had done. That the best way was to just tell Daryl all I had done in blunt honesty.

Daryl sprawls out beside me and wraps his arm around me and pulls me against him. "Did you know I found the bus?"

"No, I wonder if you showed up before or after we did."

"Beth and I went there, all there were was bodies. Our people, all dead. I searched their faces, praying that they weren't you. But then I prayed I would find you, because then I would know. But you weren't. I had no place to look for you, no way to know. I left the watch you gave me in the back of a van that Beth and I slept in one night. I thought you were dead. I acted like an ass to Beth; I just wanted to give up. Just stop being a person. I just went through the motions. I thought I had lost you."

As he talked about his behavior I felt guilt and shame creep into my bones again as he spoke. I had done much worse than just go on self-preservation, I had given up, I had treated everyone and everything around me horribly. I rolled over and looked at him. His face was drawn and sad. He was obviously beating himself up over something as minor as being sad because he thought Shayla and I were dead. "Daryl, you don't need to feel bad about that, it's normal."

"No, you don't get it, I wanted it to be over, when the bus was a dead end….I left the watch you gave me hanging in the back of an old van on the side of the road. I just knew that I wasn't going to see you again. I had gotten you back so many times before….if Beth wouldn't have been there I….I don't think I'd be here right now. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for doubting you."

As sweet as his words were and as happy as they made me, I felt like I was an inch high and covered in filth. My brain begged me to keep my mouth shut, but my heart was bleeding with guilt. I had heard somewhere that confessing to an affair is more to the benefit of the guilty party and not the innocent one. And why I hadn't slept with Abraham I still did something I would have slapped Daryl for if the roles would have been reversed. He also needed to know about how I had acted towards everyone, especially our daughter. But I thought in my head that he didn't need to know, that he didn't need to feel betrayed right now. But I couldn't live with the guilt. If I told him, it would all be about me. Yet again in our relationship, it was going to be about me.

I leaned in and gave him a kiss, I squeezed my eyes tight so no tears would fall, then I sat up and crossed my legs. "Daryl, you have no reason to apologize. Because what you did is nothing compared to what I did."

"What do you mean? He asked, propping his head up on his arm. I licked my lips and sucked in a deep breath.

"I don't even want to tell you, because I'm afraid that once you know you won't want me anymore." He reaches out and grabs my hand.

"Kelly, that's stupid. It can't be that bad." He says with a small smile, but I release his hand and grab my own before setting them in my lap.

"Can you promise me not to say a word until I'm done? If you talk….I'll….I'll just….just please don't talk okay?" when he nods his head and sits up to look at me I force myself to keep looking at him a I told him everything that I had done since I left the prison. From my treatment of Merle and Shayla, my behavior, my temper, the night Abraham and I drank beers on the roof, about finding the corn… "We were just talking, talking about our old lives and the things that happened since the walkers. Then it just happened." I could tell by the look on his face he thought we had done more than kiss. "It was just a kiss. And I stopped it, and I told him that I couldn't. But it….it took longer than it should have for me to stop him. Nothing but that happened and nothing else was going to happen if I would have stayed. I know that doesn't take back what I did, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I finish as I wipe my tears from my face, crying is the last thing I have a right to.

He doesn't say anything, just looks at the wall behind me, his mouth closed tight. My stomach is in knots and my throat is burning. This is what he must have felt like when I had thought he had slept with Carol. Not being able to do anything about it until I made the first move. And all I wanted was for him to say something. Anything. But he doesn't and I wait.

And wait

And wait.

Until he clears his throat and tells me I need to sleep in the cab for my safety.

I nod and don't say a word as I climb out of the back and crawl into the cab. I lock the doors, not trusting the people around us. Before I lean against the door and look at Daryl out the back window. He's still sitting there, just looking at the walls. His hands are tight fists and his jaw clenched. All I want to do is go back to him and beg him to forgive me, but I can't. I hurt him and what happened next is up to him.

* * *

><p>The next morning we are out very early, the sun barley topping the trees. Yesterday Joe had said the group was close to finding whoever they were looking for, so I guess that was why he was in such a hurry. Daryl didn't say anything much to me as we set out. He stuck closer to the group and I hung back from him. He didn't want me around right now<p>

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><p><strong>Next Chapter<strong>: We meet up with Rick and crew, Daryl confronts Kelly, and Terminus is approaching fast.

Please review!

Hope you all enjoyed this!

**If there is anything anyone would like to see happen or be answered in the next chapter please let me know. **

**Also, I want to write some short stories between now and October and I would love to get some ideas from you all. I want to write what you want to read!**

**Please and Thank-You!**


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Known

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **DarylDixon'sLover, mattsey22, mrskaz453, HermioneandMarcus, Dean Winchesters Play Thing, mariarosa, A7X4REVer, and sweetkiwi604!

**Thank You to the **92 favorites and 138 followers!

Okay, I fibbed. This chapter is not long nor is it the last one. After a few days thinking it over, I decided to split the big chapter in half. So the next chapter is the last and it will be posted by, at the latest, Wednesday.

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><p>Chapter Fifteen: Known<p>

Back on the train tracks someone found another candy bar wrapper, then Joe said the group had fifteen minutes to get food. They all ran into the woods, including Daryl. I sat down on the ground and pulled out a handful of the nuts we had found, but I popped one in my mouth just to take it back out and put the nuts away. I felt too bad to eat. Between the pain in my chest from the lack of Shayla's nursing and my guilt over telling Daryl I felt I was lucky to even be walking and keeping pace with the group. Why hadn't I just kept my damn mouth shut?

"_You both come back here and you just __destroy everything__!"_

Shane's voice was as cruel in my head as it was that night on the field.

And maybe he had a point.

Rick always did what he thought was right, and look at where that had gotten us in the end?

I felt that telling Daryl what I had done was right and now look where we were?

Was Shane right? The whole time when Rick and I thought he was the one who had lost his mind he could have been right the whole time. Shane would have shot the Governor, Shane would have told me to keep my mouth shut. Maybe Shane really knew what it takes to survive in this new world.

I couldn't help but feel even more depressed with that thought in my head.

No matter if Shane was right or wrong, he was dead and there was no coming back from the dead he was.

I pluck a shard of grass from the ground and start ripping it into strips along the indentions. I look up when I hear footsteps, but they drop back down when I see Daryl coming up, no kill in his hand. He shuffles over to where I'm sitting and just stands beside me.

"You didn't follow me." he mumbles.

"Didn't think you wanted me to." I say back, still not looking up.

"You don't need to be here alone, it's not safe."

"I can take care of myself. You don't have to worry."

"Jesus Christ Kelly." He says angrily as he kicks at the ground. "How many damn times do we have to go over this!?" I blink and look up at him confused.

"What?" I ask. His face gets tight and he reaches down and hauls me to my feet, his hands dig into my shoulders as he talks.

"What do I have to do to get this though your thick skull, I am always going to worry about you? Don't you get it?!"

I twist free and pull away from him. "I get that, but I don't get why right now! After what I told you I did? You should be looking for a walker to push me in front of!"

"Is that why you're avoiding me?"

"That's why you're avoiding me!" I say back, "All day you've been up there with Joe and last night you made me sleep in the cab of that truck." I'm more confused than I was before. Why isn't he angrier at me? He's just pacing and rubbing at his neck. The air between us is silent and tense, like a bomb ready to explode, but I can tell by Daryl's breathing that he's trying to calm down before he says anything.

Then it occurs to me that this is what always happens when we fight. Things get tense, he does his breathing exercises, then he sooths the waves with sweet words and the fight is over. Very rarely does he tell me what he's feelings in situations like this. I never have trouble letting him know what I'm thinking. Hell, every time he so much as looked at Carol I bit his head off, and I kissed Abraham and he's talking about me going hunting with him. The only time he really let me have it was when I was considering taking the morning after pills after I found out I was pregnant. He had felt so much better after that. I had told him what happened for me, and this fight needed to be for him. I needed to know what he was feeling. I needed to know how angry with me he really was.

"Daryl, please tell me what you want to say. Stop worrying about my feelings; for once just tell me what you are really thinking." I say walking up to him. He just shakes his head and tries to walk away. I grab him by his arm and get in his face. "Tell me damnit! Tell me you're angry! Stop hiding behind the idea that I'm too weak to deal with your anger. I kissed another man, I was neglectful to our daughter, stop acting like everything is okay and tell me you're pissed!"

It happens so fast, one second I had his arm in a grip and the next I'm back in his grip, but his hands aren't gripping my arms, but they are around my shoulders and I'm being squeezed against his chest. His breathing is harsh and he is shaking. "You don't know how mad I am at you." his voice is rough and low, like his teeth are clenched together, but I can't see them. "You—after all we've been through you go and kiss this asshole you just met. Then Shayla…" he pauses again and he squeezes me tighter and I gasp for a breath before he loosens his hold. "When you told me you weren't ready for a baby I though-I dunno—like once she got here you'd be different. But you still didn't-you might love her, but you don't-you still couldn't just focus on her. too fucking busy with everyone else that." then he pushes me away from him and I fall to the ground. Hard.

"She's your fucking daughter! You can't treat her that way! It shouldn't take Merle screaming at you to make you love her! You should have loved her the moment you found out, hell at least the first time you felt her move! But no! God you didn't even want to talk about names. What was that crap about? Afraid to loose it my ass. Is that what you wanted? To loose the baby?"

"No!" I say back, trying so hard to keep my tears in check. I told him to let me know what he was thinking. Told him I could handle it. I had too.

"Don't lie to me! Back at the prison, were you even thinking about her? Or was it just me or your damn brother?" then he gives a laugh, "I bet Rick's kid got more of your thoughts than your own daughter." He stops and wipes his mouth. I stand up and wipe the dirt off my pants. There is about as much distance between Daryl and me as there was between Shane and Rick that night. I felt something cold grow in my belly. "I think we got into this too fast Kelly."

My stomach drops and my heart races. "What do you mean?" I ask, not really wanting to know his answer.

"This." He says, gesturing between him and I. "think about it Kelly, we shared a room one night out of necessity and the next day I'm running after you in the woods like I'd known you for years. It was too quick. All of this. Ya we have Shayla, but she was born out of fear, we thought we wouldn't live through that attack. That's why we didn't use protection. If it weren't for the Governor she wouldn't even be here. And I can't help but think if it wasn't for those walkers chasing you into the woods of we would be here."

"What are you—are you saying we're a mistake?"

"I'm saying it was too fast. You were venerable and I was-I was lonely. All I had had for years was Merle and then you get dropped on me and we went too fast."

"It's not like we can go back and undo it Daryl, we have Shayla."

"Yes, but you don't even want her." he reaches down and picks up his crossbow that I hadn't even noticed he had dropped. Then he walks towards me and I can't stop the tears that fall. He pushes the loose hair from my face. "When the chance comes, we'll eave this group. We'll find Merle and that group. You go to D.C. and I'll take Shayla, then Merle and us will find somewhere safe. You won't have to worry about her."

"Daryl it's not like that." I plead. "I love you, I love Shayla. She wasn't a mistake, we are not a mistake. Please don't do this. What I did was stupid, and I know that. I never should have kissed Abraham or treated Shayla like I did. I made a mistake, but not with us."

Daryl didn't say anything. He just kissed me on the cheek before he went back into the woods. I ran after him, but I only got as far as the tree line before I collapsed on the ground in a ball. I stuffed my hand in my mouth and bit down as I tried not to scream. I had ruined everything. Just like I always did. It was always my fault. And now I had lost it all because I was selfish, I was self-centered. Brian had been right; I had always deserved what I got. And I deserved to feel this way and be left alone.

I needed to calm down, right now; in this place with these people was not the time to fall apart. Daryl had warned me that they were dangerous. I bit into my fist and sucked air in through my nose. I used the tricks I had been though to deal with panic attacks. My hearing and vision cleared and I took my fist from my mouth and shaking reached for my water bottle and drank several swallows before I dumped some on my face and scrubbed at my eyes. I fixed my hair again, made a ponytail instead of a bun. I used the tree as support as I stood up. There would be a time to cry, a time to pray and beg Daryl to rethink what he said. But I made a promise to myself, a promise that if this is what he really wanted that I would let him go. I wasn't going to be selfish anymore. I was going to do something for Daryl this time. And if away from me is what he wanted, that was what he would get.

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><p>I walk back to where the group had split and most all of them were back, Daryl was leaning against a tree, a cigarette in his mouth. I walk over to him and hand him the bag that had the nuts in it. Then I walk away from him and sit by a random tree until we start walking again.<p>

And we do what we always do; we walk after the mysterious group they were after. Daryl was walking closer to me than he was before, but I think it was for my safety, I think something about that claimed business was going to be in play if Daryl and I weren't together. But I was just guessing. I constantly passed him the water bottle during the walk. But mostly I just played with the feather at my neck and I was very happy he hadn't taken his jacket back. I was as wrapped in Daryl as I could be at the moment. I had just gotten him back and I didn't want to loose him again. But as we walked I couldn't help but think that maybe he had a point about us being too much too soon.

That was how I had described my relationship with Daryl to Abraham, and even to Maggie. And it wasn't like too much too soon was anything new with me and relationships. The one I had with Brian had started just a few weeks after I first met him. But too much too soon didn't have to be a bad thing. I knew in my gut that I loved Daryl, but he had to love me back, and I think that he does, but I also know that what I did was unforgivable. I would beg him when the time came, all I could do now was not guilt him into forgiving me, I wasn't going to cry or whine at him. This time I was going to put my feeling aside and do what he wanted. Because I knew I loved him. Because I knew it was right.

Night fell and I was tired and my breast were so engorged that it was becoming unbearable. Joe decided to stop for the night and I collapsed against the ground with a groan and rolled to my side and wrapped my arms around my chest. A few seconds later Daryl came over. "Cold?" he asked. I shook my head no and closed my eyes. "Then what's the matter? I know something is wrong, besides the obvious."

"Shayla hasn't nursed in two days." I say quietly. It takes him a few moments to get why that could be a problem.

"So-your…" he clears his throat. "Is there anything I can do?" he asks awkwardly.

I can't help but smile. I did know some things he could do, but considering where we were sitting in our relationship at the moments I didn't think the solution would be appropriate. "I'll take care of it. Don't worry." I say. Then suddenly Joe and the group is up on their feet. Joe is looking down the way with the binoculars. "It's a fire right?" Drake asked excitedly as Joe continued looking.

"It looks like it; let's go check it out boys." Joe says with a manic grin on his face. He turns to Daryl who is still crouched down by me. "Daryl, you coming?"

"Sure, just to see. But if it's them, I'll let you deal with them." He stands up and I get up and go after him, I wasn't going to stay on the ground in the dark alone. I follow pretty close to Daryl this time. The group was going slow and quiet, which added to my growing sense of dread. Those poor people. Daryl didn't trust this group and neither did I, but I knew, as did he, that we had no chance of taking them on and living through the encounter. Best to just let them finish.

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><p>They stop on the edge of the woods, I see the light of a small fire, they knew to keep the flames low, but the fire gave them away anyway. I hear one of the men say that they were the ones and the low chuckle that followed made me feel cold. I didn't want to know what they were going to do to those people. They crept out of the woods, but Daryl and I stayed back. I walked over to him and he immediately put his arm around me, I knew he didn't feel right just letting this happen either. Soon Joe's voice fills the air around us.<p>

_"__Oh, dearie me. You screwed up, asshole. You hear me? You screwed up."_

"Shit." Daryl says quietly, squinting towards the group. "Kelly, its Rick and Michonne." My mouth drops open and I look out from behind the tree and I look in shock at Rick with Joe's gun pressed to his forehead. Joe's voice still sounding in the air.

"_Today is a day of reckoning, sir. Restitution. A balancing of the whole damn universe."_

"Daryl, we've got to stop them. We have to help Rick!"

"_Shit and I was thinking of turning in for the night on New Year's Eve."_

"I know, but you are going to stay here, for once please listen to me. Those are dangerous men, they will kill you. Stay here." I nod and squeeze his hand tight as he walks towards them, his crossbow gripped in his hand, but hanging at his side. I hold my breath as he walks closer, Joe counting down with each step he takes.

"Nine Mississippi. Eight Mississippi-."

"Joe!" Daryl says as he walks around an old car towards him. "Hold up."

"You're stopping me on eight, Daryl."

"Just hold up." he says again. My eyes keep bouncing from him to my brother.

"This is the guy that killed Lou, so we got nothing to talk about." Says Drake.

"The thing about nowadays is we got nothing but time. Say your piece, Daryl." Joe says, then there is a slight pause, and I pray that Daryl will come up with the right words to get them out of this mess. He starts slow.

"These people, you're gonna let 'em go. These are good people."

"Now, I think Lou would disagree with you on that. I'll, of course, have to speak for him and all 'cause your friend here strangled him in a bathroom."

Rick would have had a good reason for doing that. Rick didn't just kill for no reason, but I knew there would be no getting this point across, not now. Not after Joe had tracked Rick this far for this long. After another pause Daryl spoke up and bile rose in my throat. "You want blood, I get it." Then he tossed his bow on the ground. "Take it from me, man." I take a step out then I stop. Daryl ordered me not to go. So I don't move, just stare at the mess ahead of me.

"This man killed our friend. You say he's good people. See, now that right there is a lie." Then Joe's voice gets angrier. "It's a lie!" then Daryl gets hit in the gut by one of the men and they surround him like a pack of dogs on a cat. I hear someone say no, but I don't know who. "Teach him, fellas. Teach him all the way."

I can't stay hidden, I pull out my knife and walk out of the woods, taking the same path that Daryl took, and I get behind the vehicle in time to see the biggest man in Joe's group pull Carl out of the car. Then I'm torn about who to go to, but I see the man has a knife to Carl's neck, if I screw up I could get Carl killed, so I go after the two that are on Daryl. I feel like I did when I was stuck under the tank. My heart was pounding and I was shaking, but it had to be done. I hear Rick's voice.

"Listen, it was me. It was just me."

"See, now that's right. That's not some damn lie." Joe starts to say, as I shoved my knife into one of the men's foot. He screams and before I can do anything I'm backhanded across the face and I fall roughly on the ground before I'm hauled up by Drake. Then I dragged towards the fire. My nose is bleeding and I try all the things Daryl taught me about fighting, but I can't get then to work. "Now I was wondering when you were going to come out little one." Joe says, I'm breathing heavy and I look at Rick and his eyes are huge, bouncing between Carl and I. "You know, I was nice before and let his claim be revoked, now, you're all his, teach you a lesson just like the one Daryl's getting taught.

"No!" I scream as I'm hauled back a few steps, and I feel his hands slide to the front of my shirt. I struggle and kick, panic and fear racing though my body. I'm spun around and smacked across the face again. I cry out as I hit the ground. I kick out behind me, hoping to hit him when I had stabbed him. I make contact and he falls to the ground on top of me. "Get off!" I yell, but he grabs the back of my head and shoves it into the hard ground. I suck in dirt and leafs as I breathe. A gunshot stills Drake and me; I recover first and roll over, swinging my fists. I hit him in the neck, he grunts before he wraps his hands around my neck and squeezes.

"You stupid bitch!" he yells in my face. I claw at his face, but my nails are too short to do anything, I squirm and kick out, but all his weight is on top of me. "Such a shame about this." He says as he squeezes tighter. I pull at his hands, but I can't do anything. I feel like my eyes are going to pop out of their sockets and my chest and brain is screaming at me to breath.

Then the pressure is released. I pull his hands off and try to crawl out from under him, then several gunshots fill the air and Drake is dead weight on my legs. Daryl runs over to me and pulls me free, he squishes me against his chest, shielding my eyes from everyone. He tells me not to look; all I can do is try and hear over my pounding heart in my ears. All I hear is Rick saying "He's mine." followed by gurgling a few soft screams, and the sound of a knife being repeatedly plunged into a body.

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><p>I clung to Daryl long after the sounds had stopped. Daryl had tried to pull me back from him, saying he needed to look at my face but I just shook my head no and held tighter to him. Too scared and hurt to even think about letting him go. "Kelly, Rick's here." Daryl's chest rumbles when he talks. But he said the only thing that could get me to let him go. I turn my head and I see Rick in the dimming light of the fire.<p>

"Oh god." I cry as I latch onto him. "Oh my god." I cry as I hug my brother. "Are you okay? I ask though the pain that radiates from my throat as I try to stop my tears,

"I'm fine." He says, his voice sounds strange in my ears. "We need to look at you Kelly, need to clear you up."

"In a second, please just let me hold you. I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

"I know, but I'm right here. I'm okay. It's you I'm worried about right now. Please." I nod and slowly pull back.

"Oh Jesus." Rick breathes as he looks at my face. "Look at your neck." He says as he brushes his fingers across my very sore neck. "No wonder you sound horse."

"He chocked you?" Daryl asks as he wipes my face with something wet. I just nod; it hurts too much to talk.

"We'll do more tomorrow, right now you just drink some water and no talking. You and Carl are going in the car to sleep." Rick says as he hugs me against him again. "The gunshots could have gotten some walkers attention." He lets me go and I try to stand up, only to stumble and fall against him again.

"I got her." Daryl says as he wraps his arms around me and I lean against him as we both stand up. My legs are shaking; it's so hard to walk. I reach up to my throat and realize Daryl's feather is gone.

"Daryl." I say to him, my voice cracking. "My feather, the one you gave me, it's gone." I feel more tears fall from my eyes and he holds me tight against him.

"I'll find it in the morning. It's around here somewhere. I promise."

"Daryl?" I ask when we stop in front of the car.

"Didn't Rick tell you not to talk?" he says gently as he opens the door. Carl is curled up in the seat in a tight ball. I sit down beside him and pull Daryl to me again.

"I'm sorry for everything I did. I'm so sorry."

"I know, and I'm sorry about what I said. You and me, we're not a mistake."

"I love you Daryl."

"I love you too Kelly. I always will."

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><p><strong>Next Chapter<strong>: The aftermath of the fight and Terminus!

Please review!

Hope you all enjoyed this!

**I want to write some short stories between now and October and I would love to get some ideas from you all. Let me know however you want to! I want to write what you want to read!**

**Please and Thank-You!**


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Nightmare

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: **DarylDixon'sLover, mrskaz453, Dean Winchesters Play Thing, mariarosa, and sweetkiwi604!

**Thank You to the **94 favorites and 144 followers!

* * *

><p>Chapter Sixteen: Nightmare<p>

I didn't get any sleep the whole night. I just laid awake with Carl snuggled up against my side. He was still shaking as the sun topped the trees and Michonne knocked on the window. I gently scooted away from Carl who was still sleeping, and crawled out of the car. I wrapped my arms around myself and ducked my head into the collar of Daryl's jacket. Everyone was sitting around the low fire, a rabbit and a squirrel roasting over it. I sat down between Daryl and Rick, but I didn't say anything. I was tired and sore. Daryl wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I felt a little warmer just being with him, but I was still hurting.

"Carl still asleep?" Michonne asks, I just nod and close my eyes. What I wouldn't give to be back at the prison right now, back in that hard mattress and moth-eaten blanket. Daryl leans down and whispers in my ear,

"There is a creek just off the road up there, wanna go get cleaned up?" I nod again and he stands up, pulling me slowly to my feet. He takes my hand in his as we walk down the road. It's quiet between us, something I'm not too sure how to feel about. But he's holding my hand, a good sign that he really meant what he said last night.

We stay silent till we get to the creek, he tells me to sit down as he goes to the very tiny stream that would have been dry a few week ago. He comes back with a ripped, wet shirt in his hand. He drops to his knees in front of me and takes my chin in his hand, he dabs at my cheek with the cold rag. "How's your throat?"

"Sore." I say back, but it was painful and scratchy sounding.

"I guess Rick's no talking rule stays in play for a bit longer."

"Maybe now you'll get a word in with me around." I whisper, I meant it as a joke, but he freezes in his ministrations and fixes me with a sad look.

"Kelly, I meant what I told you last night. I love you. All of that bad stuff…it wasn't nothing serious. I'd never leave you. I could never take Shayla away from you. I was just angry. But I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't Daryl. But I was prepared to let you go. To stop being selfish about us for a change and let you do something crazy and irrational. Hell, I was going to dump you just for looking at Carol and here I go kissing someone else. Who's really the bad person in this relationship?" Daryl sighs and sets the rag on the ground before he takes me hand.

"Kelly, we can't keep doing this. We can't keep dwelling on past mistakes. If we did that we wouldn't even of made it to the prison together. We both made mistakes when it comes to honesty. And to be honest with you, this kissing is just a minor point as far as this goes. I was so angry when you told me how you treated Shayla." I nod my head then drop my gaze. "Kelly, look at me, please?"

When I look up I don't see anger on his face, but sadness, he is smiling but it's that sad smile that you see at funerals. "I should have left with you. When you found me at the prison, I should have stopped shooting and gone with you. I knew that you were having trouble with Shayla, that you were having so much trouble adjusting. You were always afraid, always nervous about her. That is on me. I'm always on you about not worrying about other people and just focusing on our family, then I go and do what I'm always yelling at you about."

"You were needed Daryl, who knows who all got out because you were there."

"Still doesn't matter. Every time you did something stupid, like going into the infected cell block, it was to help. You saved people that day, just like I did. But there is nothing we can do about that now, except I want you and I to work on it. We need to stop worrying about everything and everyone. We just need to focus on us. And when we find Shayla I will help you with her. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, you love me for me. And it's actually love. And I don't ever want to lose you."

I couldn't help the tear that fell down my cheek. Daryl had been sweet before with me, but it had never felt so raw before. And he was doing what I prayed he would, he was forgiving me, he was offering us a new chance at this. And I needed that. I knew if I lost him I would probably fall apart and just give up.

But here we were, all our sins laid out bare and al our feelings. We had apologized and as I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder as he squeezed me tight, I believed in his dream. I believed that we could make this work. We would find Shayla and we would be a real family. We would be okay.

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><p>About an hour later we are back on the road, I'm walking next to Rick, just keeping close to him. I had heard bits of his conversation with Daryl that they had early this morning, I needed to make sure he was okay. I couldn't help but smile because not an hour after Daryl and I had our talk about worrying about everyone I was riding my brother's pant leg making sure he was okay. Maybe because it was Rick I could get a pass? I doubted it though.<p>

He and Michonne had a small conversation and after that he seemed to be better. I gave his hand a squeeze before I stepped back to be by Daryl who wrapped his arm around my shoulder. We walk until we find another Terminus sign. "We're getting close. Be there before sundown." Daryl says kicking the sign up.

"Now we head through the woods. We don't know who they are." Rick says, looking around the tree line. "We all spread out, watch for a while, see what we see, and get ready." Everyone moves into the woods, I stay with Daryl, my voice is too scratchy to yell if I needed help. "We all stay close." Rick says just before we all head into the trees.

"Rick's okay." I say to Daryl as we walk. I thought he was going to be crazy again, like he was when we first got to the prison.

"I don't think he ever got over that."

"Not really, Hershel helped him, giving him something else to live for."

"I thought Rick said not to talk, and I'm saying not to talk. Your throat is one big blue mark." Daryl says as he stops and turns to me. He runs his hand along my throat and I see anger flash in his eyes.

"He's dead Daryl."

"Good thing too. I won't stand for anyone hurting you like this again. You don't deserve this." I reach up and take his hand and kiss his bruised knuckles.

"Just for the record, if anyone hurts you like this again, I'll try to hurt them at least." I say as I rub my finger over the bruise by his mouth and forehead. "I don't think even want to see what your chest looks like."

"That's a first." He says with a smile as he raises an eyebrow." I giggle and wrap my arms around him. "God it feel like a lifetime since I've gotten to hold you, just get you alone."

"That's because it has been" I say as I close my eyes and enjoy the feel of him around me.

We stood there for a few moments before he pulled back, but he didn't let me go. I looked up at him as he lowered his head and I couldn't hold in the sound I made when he kissed me. Unlike our kiss when we first found each other, this one wasn't full of frantic emotions, but it was full of the quiet ones. I felt my heart speed as his hand drifted up my back, one went to my hair, pulling it away from my face and the other went to my neck. My fingers curled in on his jacket and I pulled him closer to me. He tasted like he always did, felt like he always did, everything else has changed around us, but this, this feeling of pure hunger and love had not changed. I loved him more now than before.

But I knew the kiss would have to end. One we didn't have time to do much else, and second I wasn't healed from having Shayla. So I squeezed him tight before I gently pulled back. My heart was pounding in my chest and I closed my eyes and rested my head against his. His heavy breaths tickled my face as we both calmed down enough to pull away.

I cross my arms against the chill and watch in confusion as Daryl reaches into his pocket, I smile in surprise as he pulls out my feather necklace. The yellow feather is faded and the string will have to be replaced soon. But right now, as Daryl motions for me to turn around, it's the best thing in the world. I pull my hair to one side as he fastens the string around my neck, I turn and let my hair fall back down my back. Daryl grabs my hands and gives them a squeeze.

"I love you Kelly. I'll love you till I die."

"I love you too, and I'll love you even after I die."

He gave me his sweetest smile before we continued doing what we were supposed to be doing. We held hands the entire time, not letting go of each other until we reached the fence line of Terminus.

* * *

><p>Daryl and I watched as Rick buried the supply of guns and ammo, Michonne and Carl showed up a few minutes later. We all walked over to the fence and Rick jumped over first, Daryl gave me a boots and I landed right beside Michonne on the far side of the fence.<p>

Terminus was a large train depot. The tracks were a tripping hazard and there were box cars lined up all over the place. Daryl went first, then Rick and Michonne, I hung back the Carl. We all had our weapons drawn as we ran across the yard. I almost jumped when I heard a voice come over the loud speaker. It was an announcement on how to get to Terminus, I wondered who it was for? None of the radios worked anymore as far as I knew. "Terminus those who arrive survive. Follow the tracks to the point where all lines intersect. There are maps at the crossings to help guide you with your journey. Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive. Terminus, sanctuary for all."

When we rounded a corner in the first building Daryl stuck his head into the doorway, it wasn't until after he signaled for us to go in did I see who was talking. It was an older lady at a desk, reading the message off a paper. There were a bunch of people in the front of the building looking like they were making signs. I stand close behind Daryl and hold my breath as Rick walks up to the lady.

"Hello." He says, and the lady abruptly stops her message. Then Rick looks out at the rest of the people who have stopped there movement as well. The short silence that followed got my teeth on edge.

"Well, I bet Albert is on perimeter watch." Says a guy who was holding a paint brush. He has short brown hair and is the cleanest person I have seen in a long time. Then the guy comes around the table. I look out beside me and we've formed a straight line along the floor, I try to stop shaking as the man stops a few feet in front of us. "You here to rob us?"

"No" Rick says as he puts his gun in his holster, prompting the rest of us to lower ours, but I notice he doesn't take his hand away from it. "We wanted to see you before you saw us."

"Makes sense. Usually we do this where the tracks meet." The guys says, stepping closer to us and holding his hands out, gesturing to the whole place. "Welcome to Terminus. I'm Gareth. Looks like you've been on the road for a good bit."

"We have." Rick says after a few seconds. Then he introduces us one by one, I just look at Gareth and try to figure out why he has me on edge. And it's like he can read my thoughts because not two seconds later he calls us on our demeanor.

"You're nervous. I get it." He says, flailing his arms around as he talks. Then he takes a few more steps forward. "We were all the same way. We came here for sanctuary. That what you're here for?"

"Yes." Rick says, still not moving an inch.

"Good. You found it."

"Hey, Alex." He yells back at the tables, another guy with curly brown hair who is a little shorter than Gareth walks up, but Gareth keeps talking in a very bouncy voice. He reminds me of a male cheerleader. "This isn't as pretty as the front. We got nothing to hide, but welcome wagon is a whole lot nicer. Alex will take you, ask you a few questions. Uh, but first, we need to see everyone's weapons.  
>If you could just lay them down in front of you."<p>

We all quickly look at Rick, we would only do it if he did. I personally didn't want too. I may not have been able to do much, but they could. My eyes dart between Daryl and Rick, and my heart drops when his hands moves to his gun and he sets it on the ground. "All right." And we all bend down and set all of our stuff on the ground. All I have is the gun and my knife, but Daryl had the most out of all of us.

"I'm sure you understand."

"Yes, I do."

I watch as Alex starts patting down Daryl, making a comment on his bruises. "I'd hate to see the other guy."

"You would." Rick says as Alex moves over to Carl.

"They deserve it?"

"Yes." Carl says, and both Rick and I look at him. He sounded so cold. But my attention was redirected as Alex moved towards me with his hands out, I instinctively jumped back, causing Alex to put his hands in the air. Daryl reaches out and grabs my arm as Gareth starts talking.

"Whoa, easy there, he's just checking you for weapons."

I'm very grateful when Daryl speaks up for me. "Can you just take our word with her? She's not hiding anything, and she's been through some stuff."

Alex looks back at Gareth who is looking at me, his eyes narrowed. I clench my jaw tight, I don't think I could deal with being patted down. Especially by someone I didn't know.

Gareth just nods his head and Alex backs away. "Just so you know, we aren't those kind of people, but we aren't stupid either. And you shouldn't be stupid enough to try anything stupid. As long as everyone's clear on that, we shouldn't have any problems. Just solutions." Alex starts handing people there weapons back, Daryl grabs his bow and knife before Alex even has a chance to bend down. Once everyone has their stuff back, Alex has us follow him out of the building.

As we walk Daryl asks about the place, I just look around me. There are vegetables growing and a few people walking around. Soon were in a big area that reminded me of the pavilion back at the prison. Only they had actually tables that looked like the ones at Wal-Mart. Soon we're lead up to a huge fire pit, a middle-aged looking lady with red hair greats us. "Hi. Heard you came in the back door. Smart. You'll fit right in here."

"Hey, Mary, would you fix each of these new folks a plate for me?" Alex says as the sound of a baby cry hits me ears, I turn around at the sound and my eyes start looking around for Merle. But half a second later I see a woman in a red jacket holding the crying baby, trying to sooth it. Alex sees me looking. "We found that baby a few days ago, just lying in the woods."

"Can I go see it? I haven't held a baby since…." I stopped, not wanting to tell him about Shayla, I still don't know what to think of this place. "Since the world ended." I finish." He says I can and I walk over to the lady.

"Hi, what a cute baby, can I hold her?" I ask, the lady just nods and hands her to me. The moment she's in my arms a strange feeling of familiarity washes over me. I look at the baby's eyes, her face, nose, mouth. All her features look familiar. I gently pull back her waistband and diaper top and my heart pounds out of my chest as an upside-down crescent mark, several shades darker than the baby's skin meets my eyes. I immediately pull the now not crying baby to my chest, just about the same time Rick smacks a plate from Alex's hand and puts his gun to his head. "Where the hell did you get this watch?" I quickly run back to them, and I go into full panic mode when I see the watch is Glenn's, the one Hershel gave him.

* * *

><p>I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. Rick may have had his gun pointed at Alex, but all the other Terminus people had their guns pointed at us."<p>

"Where the hell did you get this watch?" Rick asks again, I've moved next to Daryl, I have to tell him I had Shayla.

"You want answers? You want anything else? You get 'em when you put down the gun." Alex says, his voice a little higher in pitch than before.

"I see your man on the roof with a sniper rifle. How good's his aim? Where'd you get the watch?" no answer, so Rick yells louder. "Where'd you get the watch?!"

"Don't do anything! I have this!" Alex yells, I'm guessing at the sniper on the roof because he was dense if he thought he was going to talk to Rick. "You just put it down. You put it down!" I breathe out a little when the sniper lowers his gun. "You want to listen to me. There's a lot of us."

"Where did you get the watch?" Rick asks again.

"I got it off of a dead one. I didn't think he'd need it."

"Close to where you found this baby?" I ask, Alex nods but Rick looks at me while tightening his grip around Alex's throat. "This is Shayla. This is my baby." I say, turning from Rick to Daryl. His eyes wide as they shoot down to look at the baby.

"What about the riot gear? The poncho?" Rick asks, and soon my eyes are scanning and I soon see what set Rick off. They have all of the stuff that we had back at the prison.

"Got the riot gear off a dead cop. Found the poncho on a clothesline." Gareth says, popping up out of nowhere. Daryl moves a step in front of me, I get close to his back, trapping Shayla between us. I try to keep calm, but it's impossible and Shayla is picking up on my unease. Her whimpers hit my ears as Alex talks again.

"Gareth, we can wait."

"Shut up, Alex." Gareth says.

"You talk to me."

"What's there left to say? You don't trust us anymore."

The air is tense all around us, I'm so scared I don't know what to do. Rick and Gareth are still talking. "Rick, what do you want?" he asks, his hands open in the air.

"Where are our people?" Rick says.

"You didn't answer the question." Gareth says, his hand snaps shut just as Daryl turns and shoves Shayla and I low on the ground.

Soon everything around me is in pure chaos. Guns firing, people yelling, Rick's voice catches my ear a few times, but then were running. Daryl is in the lead, but he has ahold of my hand as we go. Carl is at my heels. Shayla is screaming at the top of her lungs. I hold her as tight as I can as we run. This isn't the first time I've ran with her screaming in my arms. It seems like every corner we turn shots are raining down on us. I feel like we're just running in circles. Dust bounces off the ground as the shots miss us. The sounds from the yelling, to the screaming are making everything worse. All I do is blindly follow Daryl, hold Shayla as tight as I can in my arms as we run.

We make it into a building but the inside is enough to almost make me scream. There are lit candles everywhere, circling stacks of bones, almost like a bunch of altars, or memorial markers. It smells like death and fire, Daryl wraps his arms around me and Shayla as we pause for a minute to take a breath. He immediately leans down and presses his lips to Shayla's forehead as his hand rubs her bald head.

"What the hell is this place?" Michonne asks, looking around at this nightmare room. "These people, I don't think they're trying to kill us."

"No," Rick says, walking around, "they were aiming at our feet. Like they were herding us." We look around and Rick spots a door, we all run over there, but it is soon slammed shut, we move down the wall and Daryl spots another door. We run even faster towards it.

The gunfire starts back up as soon as Daryl's feet hit the pavement outside. But the fence line is right in front of us. If we can just get there we will be safe from these people, or at least away enough to regroup and figure things out. But we get halfway across the clearing before a whole group of people with guns pointing right at us come up behind the fence, as we turn we see all the other people doing the same thing. Shayla's cries are all my ears hear as the realization that we are trapped here finally works its way into my mind.

We were trapped in Terminus.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

I grip my bow so tight in my hands I feel my knuckles clench up. I try not to look at Kelly, I try not to look at her terrified face, but the sound of Shayla's cries make it impossible to not look at her. She has her eyes clenched tightly shut and his rocking Shayla in her arms. I don't know how Kelly knows that baby is Shayla, but when I saw her I felt something….I didn't know what, but I felt like I knew this baby. And if Kelly was so certain, so was I. But Shayla being here made this whole situation that was already a nightmare ten times worse.

"Drop your weapons! Now!" the voice of Gareth is like knives stabbing into my head. I look at Rick who looks like he's ready to explode, Carl looks scared out of his mind, and Michonne looks blank. "Now!" He shouts again, angry at our hesitance. I know we have no choice, so did everyone else. We all drop our weapons to the ground. It stings to do it, but I throw my bow down, hoping I break it so they can't use it. "Ringleader, go to your left. The train car, go." Rick hesitates, his eyes going towards Carl. "You do what we say, the boy goes with you. Anything else, he dies and you end up in there anyway."

Rick still hesitates, but not enough to cause a problem because he locks eyes with Carl as he walks away. He gets half way to the train car when Gareth tells me to move. I doubt I'll be able to take her, but I move towards Kelly. "No!" Gareth yells. "She stays, with the baby. Now move. Or she dies!" I see tears fall from her eyes and I mouth that I love her as I walk after Rick, Shayla's cries burning in my ears. A few seconds later Michonne is sent after us. Soon we're all lined up outside the train car. Kelly and Carl still standing in the clearing. Alone.

"Stand at the door, ringleader, archer, samurai, in that order."

"My son and sister!" Rick yells back. My heart speeds up when Gareth only sends Carl.

"Ringleader, open the door and go in."

"Not without them!"

"Don't make us kill him now. The girl stays here, you go in. Now!"

I know it takes everything in Rick's power to do what he says. It takes more than what I have to follow behind him. The last thing I see of Shayla is her standing still as a statue holding our crying daughter and some random person walking towards her.

Then I'm inside the box car. It's hot and smells bad. I can still hear Shayla's cries. I clench my teeth and as soon as the door closes I bang my fists against the said and let out an angry yell. I was trapped in a box and Kelly and my daughter were trapped with those people. I bang my head against the side of the car as I drop against it. Feeling more like a failure than I had in my whole life. I had just fucking promised her that nothing would happen to her again. Now look where we were.

"Rick?" I immediately look up as a familiar voice sounds in the dark. I look up and see Glenn, soon followed by Maggie, Bob, Sasha, Merle, and a few other people I don't recognize. I lock eyes with Merle and shake my head as Rick starts to talk again.

"You're here? You're here." Then he looks at the people behind Glenn. Maggie just says they are friends, people who saved them. Michonne says then they were our friends too. Then a man with red-ass hair pipes up.

"For however long that'll be."

"No." Rick says, "They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out." Then he pauses and looks through a crack in the side of the car. I wish he was still talking, I can hear Shayla cry when he's not.

"Find out what?" Glenn asks.

"They're screwing with the wrong people."

* * *

><p>And that is that until October.<p>

I'm very sorry for the delay in getting this up, but I just got this idea out of the blue and it took me a long time to decide if I was going to do it or not and I finally decided to do it.

This story will be continued! Hope you all liked this chapter and I can't wait to hear from you all!

See you in October!


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Longing

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers: DarylDixon'sLover, mrskaz453, HermioneandMarcus, mariarosa, Castiel Angel Heart, sweetkiwi604, toxic click, Jess, and WhisperedLove11. (You guys are the best!)

Thank You to the 107 favorites and 164 followers! (Oh My Gosh this is amazing!)

OMG I'm finally back! I know I promised this back in October but I'm gonna be honest, minus the mid-season finale and the church slaughter this season has been kind of boring. My hatred for Carol has only grown and I swear if they put her and Daryl in a relationship I will flip!

But back on topic. The mid season finale pulled at my heart strings and brought my muse back and I am once again inspired and ready to go! So here it is, the long awaited Chapter Seventeen!

* * *

><p>Chapter Seventeen: Longing<p>

Kelly's PoV

It seems like I've been locked in this room for days upon days, but in reality it had only been a few hours since I lost it all. Looking back we had to have gotten to Terminus in the later morning, less than an hour until Shayla and I were taken away from everyone, it was late afternoon when I heard the explosion and the windows in this room were blown out, and less than hour ago Shayla was taken from me by someone who was supposed to be long gone from here.

Now here I was, trapped in the same tiny room Gareth had taken us too right after the shootout, or the herding, happened. After the explosion happened I had wrapped Shayla back up into the warmest blanket I could find and I sat close to the door simply waiting for Rick or Daryl to bust through the door and get us out of here.

With each passing moment the gunshots grew in size and sound, but then, almost like in the middle of a bad storm, they started to fall away. I jumped to my feet when the door opened, but instead of seeing my brother or Daryl, I saw Carol. A loud sound, a sharp pain in my shoulder I had felt once before, and the feel of Shayla being lifted out of my arms is all I can really remember. But when I returned to reality I realized what had happened. That bitch took my daughter and locked me in this room again.

The sun was setting and Terminus was quiet. I had done my screaming, crying, and bargaining. Now I felt numb. All through this mess I had kept faith in God, and even though I hadn't been the best person through this mess, I couldn't help but feel I didn't deserve to be in this situation. I had never killed anyone in cold blood, I had never tried to separate a family, and I had never tried to break our group in half. Yet the woman who had done all of that was now free with my daughter and probably with the group.

I knew in my bones they were free.

I would have to stay here until morning, I couldn't risk being outside in the dark when the walkers were the most active, plus I had an untreated gunshot in my shoulder I had to deal with, the diapers Gareth had been kind enough to lend me were very good at soaking up the blood that had stopped flowing a little while ago. In the morning I would find a way out. In the morning I would find Carol and I would finally do what I have been wanting to do since I lost Sophia in the woods. I would put a bullet through her head.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

Last time I thought Kelly was dead I ran from it. I followed Merle into the woods and away from all the memories I had of her. When I went back because with Rick and his family was where I belonged I had her back. And I vowed I would never let her out of my sight again. Then when the prison was attacked and we were separated again, when she wasn't on that bus, I thought she was gone, then fate stepped in again and I had her back, but this time I had proof she was gone. Lying in my arms, squirming and gurgling was our daughter, my little Shayla, wrapped up in a blanket that had Kelly's blood on it.

Rick didn't react this time like he had last time, he didn't scream or cry, he just walked away from us faster, Carl right on his heels, he didn't react this time either. I was barley keeping it together. I couldn't fall apart right now, we were running from what was left of Terminus, running from the walkers that had to be following us, and running from the one we had lost.

"I'm sorry Daryl." Carol said as she stepped up beside me. My blood felt cold at her words because I knew they were a lie. Carol felt nothing but hate for Kelly. And the feeling was more the mutual; Kelly hated Carol just as much. Or Kelly had hated.

The pain was different this time, it wasn't overwhelming now, it felt more like a dull ache, but the more time that past the worse it seemed to be. I knew that if I didn't stop and deal with it, it would deal with me.

And there was no time for that.

I don't even look up when a heavy hand falls on my shoulder, but I know it's Merle, my brother has been riding my tail since Carol had told us about Kelly. I felt tears prick my eyes as the image of Kelly with a huge chunk of metal sticking out of her belly. "Don't think about it little brother." Merle says, "Just like with momma, don't think about it." I sucked in a breath and nodded. I should have gone to find her like I had wanted to, but I didn't know where to start looking, and Rick was right, if I would have gone off blind in that chaos I would be dead too and Shayla would have no one. The decision to wait and look another day had hurt Rick as much as it had hurt me.

It was easy to forget these days that Rick and Kelly were siblings. Back at the prison and even the farm it was easy to tell in how they talked and acted with each other, but the last few months they seemed more like distance friends than family. And that had to be killing Rick as badly as my own words to her were killing me. Even though I had apologized for what I said about taking Shayla and leaving her behind, I had regretted it then and I regretted it even more now.

The only thing I was feeling beside pain was bitter anger every time I looked at Abraham. The tall-asshole ginger had had the nerve to be upset over Kelly's death. He knew who I was, had from the moment I was locked in that damn boxcar, now he kept far away from me, and if he knew what was best for him he would stay far away. The last thing I needed was for him to push me the wrong way, a flying bolt would be the last thing he would ever see if he so much as talked to me about anything, let alone Kelly.

After a short walk we came to a cabin, and at least this whole day wasn't one big shit storm, watching Rick and Carl run away from the group towards Little Ass-Kicker made the day a little bit brighter. At least there was one family reunion, even if it was missing one person. Rick had both of his children again. Judith Grimes had grown a lot since the prison fell, and, just like I had promised back at the prison when she was just a few hours old, she would know about her Aunt Kelly, her Aunt who had loved her, cared for her, and kept her father alive for her. Judith Lori Grimes and Shayla Dale Dixon would know about the amazing woman that was Kelly Jocelyn Grimes.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

I was up ready before the sun was, but I made myself sit with my eyes closed until I felt the heat on my face. I stood up and tried anything I could think of to get the door open, after about half an hour I managed to bust the wooden frame, but I discovered I couldn't get out because there were several large pieces of furniture stacking in front of the door. I let out a scream as I kicked the door one last time before I went over to the window. I was on the second floor of the depot and there were a few walkers meandering around on the ground. The walkers I could handle, but a drop from here to the concrete below was another story altogether. I looked around the room I was in and I saw nothing that could be used as a way down. So I stuck my head out the window and looked at the building itself. All the windows had been blown out by the explosion; maybe I could use the frames and scale along the building until I found a way down? It was really my only option at this point.

After several minutes of a mental pep-talk and wrapped my hands with some fabric I had ripped from my shirt so I wouldn't cut my hands on the glass and I stepped up onto the frame of the broken window outside the room I had been stuck in for what had felt like a lifetime.

The glass crunched at my feet and even with the fabric around the palms, it didn't take long for them to be cut open anyway. Besides the pain from my hands the hardest thing to do was move from frame to frame. The gap between the windows were pretty big and I had short legs, I had slipped the first gap I tried to cross and cut my arm catching myself.

By the time I made it to the side of the building there were dozens of walkers chomping at my feet, the drops of my blood falling on their faces made them sickingly excited and riled up. I knew that if I fell, I would be dead. They were too worked up to simply follow me, they would hunt me.

I was at the first corner when I saw a way down; problem was it was at the opposite side of the wall that I was on. I would have to get around this corner and scale past eight windows before I would get to the boxcar that would get me to the ground. And I didn't know if I could make it. I was shaking and my eyesight was blurry, my hands were burning and sticky, and there was a hole in my shoe now, and every now and then some glass would poke my foot. All of this, plus I was starving. I hadn't eaten anything for over a day and the relief I had received when Shayla was able to nurse again was gone and I was sore and swollen again.

I quickly duck into the room that I was standing outside of. I collapse into a heap on the floor and I can't stop the hot tears from falling down my face. The tile is cold and feels good against my hot face, but all I feel is pain and defeat. I needed to get up, I needed to get moving, but I just couldn't. Not at the moment. I just close my eyes and breathe.

* * *

><p><em>It was so warm; the soft yet stained blanket that had been scavenged on a run a few days ago was being pulled away from my neck to just below my huge middle. I don't open my eyes and even my breathing out as Daryl does his morning ritual that he still thinks I don't know about. But the warmth I was feeling is fading away as the chill of the prison sweeps through our cell and onto my exposed skin, but I don't say a word as Daryl runs his hand over my stomach where our child is growing. "Hey there, are you gonna come out today? Doc Greene says you need to soon. I think mommy would love for you to come out too." I bite my lip to keep in a giggle as his prickly chin brushes my skin when he kisses my middle. "I can't wait to meet you. I promise I will be a better father to you than mine was. And I know mommy's scared, but she's stronger than she thinks she is, I know she'll be amazing, all she has to do is remember that she can do anything. She just has to try..." <em>

_His last word seemed to echo, following me out of my slumber._

_Just has to try..._

_Just has to _try...

_Just has _to try...

_Just _has to try...

Just has to try...

TRY!

* * *

><p>I my eyes snap open and my heart is racing. I look around the room I had simply fallen into and passed out in without even looking around it. I pushed myself to my knees and did a few breathing exercises to slow my heart. My body still felt like it had been put through the ringer, but I had to get up, I was loosing sun fast, I couldn't afford to spend another night here. I had to get moving.<p>

I get to my feet and I have to grip the wall as pain shoots up my leg, I wait a few minutes before I move towards the door, I feel nothing as it doesn't even budge. I simply walk back to the window and climb back into the ledge. I lock my eyes on the distant boxcar, I recite my multiplication tables with each step I take, the pain in my hands it the worst of it all, but I have to get there. Because when I do get there, I am another step closer to my goal, of finding Daryl, Shayla, Rick, Carl, and another step closer to ending Carol.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

The food was amazing; it had been a long time since I had had that much food in my belly. Shayla and Judith were sitting on a few pew cushions and were being entertained by Carl and Michonne. Abraham and Rick were having a conversation about something and Carol was sitting very close to me. But I was either sitting in silence or making small talk with Merle. I had had to tell Maggie about Beth; as if I wasn't feeling raw enough I just had to pour on the salt of another failure in my life. A part of me wondered what chance I had with Shayla if I couldn't even keep track of a teenager.

I didn't trust Gabriel one little bit. I couldn't buy that someone had lived in this world for this long and not know about anything. Even if he had been hold up in this church for this long he must have gone out for something at some point. Nope. I didn't trust him, and I didn't trust Eugene, just like what Kelly had told me before when she talked about him, he didn't look capable of knowing anything about anything. That stupid haircut and weird way of talking. I would find no rest here at this place.

I didn't know if I would find peace anywhere.

I dug into my bag and pulled out what was left of the cigarettes I had found at the food bank, there were two left. Kelly had hated it when I smoked, what little I had done it since I met her. But since I couldn't drink, I had to smoke. I got up and walked out the door. I barely got one puff out when the door open behind me and Carol stepped out, Abraham's voice sounding behind her, something about being more than survivors. Boy was bat-shit crazy if he thought I was going to DC with him and grease-mullet-monkey.

"Daryl? How are you feeling?" She asks as she stands beside me. I just ignore her and suck a long drag from the cigarette. "It's cold out here, why don't you go back inside and visit with your daughter. You'll never get these times back. When she looks at you like you control the world."

"I don't." I grunt out at her and I watch the smoke leave my mouth as I talk. It looks like a ghost as it drifts into the cold night air.

"She thinks you do. One day that will change."

"If she makes it that long. I can't keep anyone safe." I say without thinking. And I feel something in my chest tighten at my words. Carol was the last person I needed to talk to about this. But she was the only one who had asked me. But I didn't blame the others for not asking, there was too much going on to be worried about one person and one thing. But it was nice that someone was asking even if that person was the last person I wanted to be talking too.

I sucked in another drag and sat down on the steps to the church and she slid down beside me. We didn't say anything, just sat together and looked out at the road and I couldn't help but feel a little comfort at having a warm body sitting next to me as my heart tried to fix itself again.

Kelly had caused more pain for me than anyone else in my life had.

Right now I had to wonder if it was worth it.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

I had made it to the boxcar, there were a few walkers but I knew I could outrun them, especially if I distracted them. They were drawn to us, and they really seemed to like my blood, well since the cuts on my hand had reopened I had plenty of it on the fabric I had wrapped around my hands. My shoes were worthless by now, the metal had cut into the soles and I was sure my feet were bleeding a little too. I was feeling woozy again, but I had to get out of Terminus. I would find shelter later. I had to get out and hidden before night fell. I pull off the boots, tie the bloody fabric to the shoes and toss them as far away from me as I could. The sound of the boot hitting the ground sent the walkers stumbling away, as did the smell, soon the way was clear and I was up and over the fence before they had ripped my boots to shreds.

Now I was running. The feet were just a solid wall of pain, yet they were numb. I couldn't feel the ground under them as I ran, just pain. Not a good sign I knew, but I had to keep going. I made it to the road before I collapsed in a heap on the asphalt. I rolled onto my back and looked up at the cloudy sky. My whole body hurt like it hadn't before. I felt worse now than when I got lost in the woods before we found the farm. I knew I had to get up, but I also knew I was down for the count this time. I don't think I would even be able to run if a walker popped over the far hill.

I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing, but soon I couldn't concentrate, I kept hearing something that sounded like a car, but when I turned my head the world turned with it and everything went fuzzy. I blinked trying to clear my vision. The sound grew louder and then I see Rick's squad car pull up beside me. I feel my chest lighten and my fear disappear. He had come; my brother had finally come for me. I call out his name as I finally close my eyes and give into my exhaustion.

* * *

><p>There it is! a few months later than promised, but here it is!<p>

Please tell me what you all think! I'm a little rusty so I hope it all makes sense!

Please read and review!


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Consistent Debt

Author's Note:

Hello all! Long time no see. First I just wanted to apologize for that huge break in the story, about three days after I posted the last chapter I had an accident involving a window that resulted in some broken hand bones and a surgery. I was in a cast and had some pins drilled into me so I was in no place to write, plus typing one handed is horrible. But the hand is on the mend and I am finally able to properly type again and here it is, the next chapter on this journey!

I hope you forgive me for making you wait so long and I hope this makes up for it!

Maxy93

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><p>Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.<p>

Thank You to all my wonderful and awesome reviewers I hope to hear from all of you again!

BlueEyedSalvatore, sweetkiwi604, Castiel Angel Heart, x_XRoweenaJAugustineX_x, mrskaz453, Dean Winchester's Play Thing, WhisperedLove11, HermioneandMarcus, and DarylDixon'sLover! Thank all of you for your last reviews!

Thank You to the 118 favorites and 175 followers! (Oh My Gosh this is amazing!)

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><p>Chapter Eighteen: Consistent Debts<p>

The room was cold and white, almost blinding after I had had my eyes closed for so long. I slowly blinked a few times to clear my vision and yet again I saw Dr. Edwards and Officer Gorman. My wrists are still restrained so this time I simply lay still. I lock eyes with the doctor and simply wait from him. "How are you feeling?" he asks coming to sit at the stool beside the bed.

"I'm fine." I say, just wanting to appease them enough to let me go. All I wanted to do was leave.

"I know you want to be free from the bed, but Dawn's orders remain until you can show us you're stable. After last time you can understand her caution."

"All I wanted was to leave."

"You were in no condition to leave." He says picking up my hand and looking under the white bandages. "What do you remember from before you came here?"

"Before I was brought here against my will you mean." I spit at him.

"Before you were saved from becoming chow." Gorman says calmly from where he is sitting in a corner. I look over at him and cringe when I feel my skin crawl, I didn't trust him.

"Just tell us what you remember? Even your name would be good at this point." Edwards says smoothly, he has been trying to get me to tell him my name for the past few days.

"I was walking down the road then I blacked out." I say looking back at Edwards.

"That still doesn't explain your injuries, or where your child is."

I don't break my stare but his words sets my blood on fire, When they found me I was unconscious and the doctor had looked me over apparently and he figured out I had had Shayla. They had also given me medicine to dry up my milk, and I was furious when I had found out. The last time I had gotten out of bed to walk around this hospital I had tried to get out through the air ducts, but I was found before I could get far, after a fight which I broke someone's nose I was sedated and now I was tied to the bed. It was starting to look like the only way I was going to get free would be to do and say what they wanted. I just had to act for them.

I let out a sigh and I finally answer their questions. "My name is Kelly, I was on my way out of an old train depot and I cut myself on the broken glass. My daughter is dead, died a few days before you found me."

"That wasn't so hard was it?" Dr. Edwards says as he moves to the other side of the bed and looks under the other bandage. "Your hands and feet still need to stay wrapped up for a few more days-"

"I'd rather you didn't. I'm not staying here a minute longer than I have to be. I'm not going to play your twisted work off debt game. I didn't ask to be brought here."

"But here you are regardless. So I suggest you make the best of it." Gorman said as he pushed himself off the wall. "I'll tell Dawn about the use of supplies. Don't forget you have other people to see Doctor." I glare at him as he turns and walks out the door.

"I'll be back in an hour or so to let you up, you just get some more sleep in the meantime. It'll help with the healing." He gives me a smile and covers my feet back up before he leaves the room.

Now here I am, laying in a hospital bed, reminding too much of my brother and missing him more than I think I ever have. I feel a tear roll out of my eye and I angrily turn my head and wipe it on the pillow, now was the time for planning and control not fucking crying. I look around the room and sigh in frustration, there was nothing I could use in any way to help me escape. The air ducts had been a gamble that hadn't paid off in the slightest so I would have to try a different idea.

I hear the door opens and I annoyingly roll my eyes towards the door, and my mouth drops open when I see Beth walk in with a mop in her hand.

She clenches the mop tight in her hand and she quickly moves over to me. "Kelly? Oh god what did they do to you?" she asks as she squeezes my hand tight in hers, making me wince at the pain.

Beth is in blue scrubs and has a long, ugly looking gash across her cheek.

"I could ask you the same thing, your cheek?"

She then tells me of her escape with a boy named Noah and how he got away but she didn't. She also told me about what Dawn did to her afterwards. I felt even more anger at this woman I had never met.

"Do you think we could get out the way you did?"

"No, Noah and I got lucky plus you're in no position to run anywhere. I knew someone was in this room and that they were in bad shape, but I didn't know it was you. You were in a coma or something for about a week after you were brought here. Like you were in really bad shape. Dr. Edwards said exhaustion and dehydration."

"You know Dr. Edwards?"

"He's the only doctor here, that's why they keep him around and let him run all his crap in his office. He's not a good guy."

"I'm gonna get out of this bed Beth, and then you and I, we're gonna get out of here. They're alive! Rick, Carl, Michonne, Merle, Glenn, they're all alive."

"Even Maggie?" she asks, her voice helpful, then my smile falls.

"I don't know about her. But Glenn, he was looking for her when I got separated from him. He'll find her."

"You got separated?"

And for the rest of the hour I had been given Beth and I talked about what had happened to both of us since the prison fell. I left out Carol taking Shayla, I wanted to gnaw at that bone alone for a little longer. The longer I let it fester the easier it would be for me to kill her when I got the chance.

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><p>A few days later I was trying to be more steady on my feet. The injuries and the days of inactivity had made walking hard. Painful. But I was determined to stay up and on my feet. I had learned a lot of things since my talk with Beth and the biggest thing was to avoid Gorman. He was just a creepy as he made me feel. I had been cornered by him one time and was saved when Dawn walked around the corner. I didn't like her much either, but I didn't hate her either. I didn't think she was a bad person, just a desperate one trying to keep order in this place, keep the balance of power in check and under her control. I also felt she was going about it the wrong way.<p>

I ate the bare minimum and only took the pills they gave me if forced. I wasn't planning on sticking around to work off my debt, but I wasn't going to rack up a huge one either. Beth and I stuck as close as we could, I felt in her debt for what she had done for Daryl, for her being there for him and simply helping him when I couldn't. It was a debt I would repay to her one day. One day when we were free from this place and back where we belonged with our family and friends.

But then I would remember that I didn't know if Merle and Glenn were actually alive. The people at Terminus had had their stuff, that didn't mean they were still alive. I didn't even know if Rick was still alive now. All I knew is that Carol had popped out of nowhere and took Shayla. If I did nothing else in this life I would repay her too. I would find her and take something from her too.

I certainly did have a lot of debts to repay.

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><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

Making my way back to the church after grabbing Noah and leaving Carol was a pill. Carol was now at the Mercy of these people Noah had been telling me about. While we had encountered worse people than them, they were still the enemy and were holding Beth and Carol.

The truck runs out of gas about a mile from the church so we walk, I startle Michonne when I come out the woods, we get inside the church and I tell Rick what happened and Noah tells him about the hospital. I go over and pick Shayla up from her cushion and hold her as we talk about what to do.

It seemed like Shayla was getting bigger every day, but it could just be me. She was getting more hair and getting more squirmy. She had to be several months by now. Her eyes were losing their blue and settling into the brown I knew they would, Kelly's eyes. I felt a twinge in my chest when I thought of Kelly. The last time I had seen her she was getting swarmed by Terminus creeps and Shayla had been screaming at the top her of lungs. I think about that last embrace we shared in the memorial room, the last time I really kissed her, told her I loved her. We had been so busy running and gunning the Terminus group I hadn't had a chance to really think about her. And neither had Rick.

When we thought we had lost her back at the prison Rick had broken down into a sobbing mess, this time he only blinked a few times before pushing us back on the road and back in survival mode. We both needed to slow down and break down.

"We get her back, we get her back." Rick says after Noah tells him what's going on.

The time for slowing and breaking was not now.

"What's it gonna take?" Tyreese asks, always a calm voice in the sea of hotheads.

"A lot." Noah says looking every inch the teenager he was. "They got guns, people."

"So do we." Rick says, his finger rubbing against his gun. I don't think he's mentally ready to do this, but just like he has since I met him, he does anyway. He starts giving orders and making sure we all knew the score. Carl, Michonne, the babies and the Father were staying here. The rest of us were going to Atlanta.

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><p>We have to wait until the next morning to leave so I kick off my shoes and lay back on the hard pew. My back protests as does my shoulder and I can't help but think of all the times Kelly had massaged it back at the prison. The prison. How I wished to be back there. It was the closest thing to normal we had had since this all started. Maybe that was why we were like this now? He had gotten too comfortable in this world, we had thought we had finally made it, made us a place of peace and growth.<p>

I rolled over to where half of me was hanging off the bench, but Shayla would be safe from falling if I fell asleep. She was wrapped in a stained yellow blanket and was sucking on a pacifier we had found at the food bank. Her face was clean and pink, and I felt somewhat content. My daughter was perfect, she was innocent, she was the only good thing in my life, the main reason I kept fighting. I gently push my finger into her palm and smile when her little chubby fingers wrap around my one finger, holding it in a grip.

Merle tromps into my line of sight and he leans over the back of the pew, the wood groaning under his weight. "Getting' cuter every day." He says as he wipes a finger down her cheek. "If we weren't in the middle of the end of days I'd say you're gonna have a fight on your hands when she grows up. But at thing rate… might not be one of us who makes it." I sigh and look up at him an annoyed expression on my face.

He had been like thing since escaping Terminus. He had been on Rick's side about going back into the camp and killing the remainders, he was one the side of not going to Atlanta to get Beth and Carol, I had been hoping that he had changed, but it was obvious he really hadn't. Or what little he had changed had died when he was locked in the train car. Ever since we were kids he had disliked being locked up anywhere. All his time spent in prison or simply how were grew up had instilled this in him. Each time Merle had come out of lock-up he had been different.

At least he was consistent.

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><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

Another afternoon of walking around the hospital, Gorman had been assigned to watch me after I had lashed out at Dr. Edwards and gave him a black eye. I did all I could to stay on my feet because if I so much as stumbled the bastard had his hands all over me. I had elbowed him a few times and yelled at him a few more. I was getting tired, I had to get back to my room. I had reopened my injuries yesterday, it was luck that Dr. Edwards had let me walk today. If I pushed too hard I would be back in the bed and further from my freedom.

"Need a hand?" Gorman sneered from behind me. I didn't say a thing back, just kept my eyes open for room three.

Suddenly the hall was filled with people and Gorman's radio was going off. They had found someone else. I flatted myself against the wall and I see Beth, who was mopping the hallway, do the same. Gorman walks off and soon he and Dr. Edwards are meeting some other people pushing a gurney. I hear medical speak but soon all sound and air leaves my body as I see the face of Carol rush by me. I stand completely still for a few seconds before I straighten myself out and limp towards my room, hands clenched and shaking the whole time.

I shut the door and move over to the bed. I'm shaking with what I think is anger, but I feel numb from head to toe. She was here and she was helpless. The irony was not missed by me. She had hurt me when I was helpless, had used my shortcomings and insecurities against me since I met the woman. And now I could end it.

All I had been thinking about for the past several nights had been ending her, and now here she was and I could end her without a single fight. She would be gone. And all her scheming lies would be dead too. I felt warmth slowly fill my body. I would kill her, kill her and deal with the aftermath later. Dr. Edwards would be with her all tonight, pumping in all their valuable and limited supplies for a lost cause. She was already dead. I would see to that. Dawn and crew probably wouldn't take too kind to her death, but that's what they got for bringing people here against their will. But at least thing time it was working in my favor.

One of my debts was going to be repaid soon.

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><p>The next morning I was up and in the hallway. I circled like a vulture outside the room where she was being kept. I hadn't been able to get in to her yet, but as soon as the opportunity came I would be there Gorman wasn't around yet and I hoped he would stay gone, if he showed up I would have to get rid of him which was easier said than done. I smile at Beth as I walk by her again as she once again mops the floor. I rolled my eyes, for people who got pissy at wasted supplies they were making a stupid fuss over some damn floors and wasting water. But it wasn't my problem so I wasn't going to bring it up. I almost run into Dawn as her and another person come trapcing up the hall, Dawn was awful pissy, which made me smile. An angry Dawn was a stupid Dawn.<p>

Angry always makes people stupid.

"That's your plan, huh?" Dawn snaps at the other person.

"Look, we are doing everything we can. Licari is out in the sedan right now. If there is a sign of Noah, we are going to find him." He says.

"You just told me that your plan was counting on him screwing up." Dawn says back and I laugh inside my head. God these people were sharp. "Was there anything else?" She asks.

"Yes, actually, there was. The patient in exam room two, she was half dead when I brought her in. She's not looking so good. This ain't Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Are we really gonna keep wasting valuable resources on this lady?"

That got my attention. No! They couldn't kill her, I was going to kill her, if they even made a move to-.

"How much electricity does your DVD take?" Beth asks, charging up the hall towards the duo. "We have very limited resources here. You charge it every day. Are you kidding me?"

"-Beth." Dawn says in a warning tone. But Beth just keeps going. The look on the other man's face was great. These people didn't like there hypocrisies pointed out.

"- That woman has been here one day. What good is this place if it doesn't try to save people!?" Beth says, standing right between the two.

"Turn off the machines." Dawn says, cutting Beth off. And I have ever wanted to slap her more in my life. "Tell Edwards to take the patient off of his rounds. If she pulls through on her own, then fine. But you're right." Dawn says looking at her partner. "She's not worth the effort." For the first time I couldn't but agree with Dawn. Carol was worthless.

The other man leaves, going back down the hallway leaving Beth and Dawn close together and I doing another lap in the hall. Dawn turns to Beth and sighs, "You just killed that woman. Who do you think I have to side with?"

"Tell him." Beth says pointing after the other man. "Tell him you changed your mind."

"You don't know how fragile this thing is. There's nothing I can do." Dawn says, Beth lowers her head, but Dawn continues. "So you'll just have to do it. You're gonna save that woman's life." And for the second time in three minutes this stupid woman gets my attention as she pulls out a silver key and hands it to Beth. "This is to the drug locker. I don't even trust Edwards with this. So take it." Beth slowly takes the key, obviously not completely trusting Dawn. The tension is broken by Dawn's radio.

"It's Shepherd. I'm on roof detail. Just heard a gunshot maybe a mile north-northeast." Dawn grabs her radio and responds. "Grab Lamson, take a car and track it down."

"Yes, ma'am." Shepherd responses. When Dawn puts her radio back on her belt Beth asks her why she was helping.

"I thought you were weak. You've proved me wrong."

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><p>They both leave and I'm alone in the hallway, I finally had access to Carol's room without being caught. I limp over to the room and quickly move inside. She's still hooked up to the machines, and her room is still full of medical equipment. I limp over to the cart and I pick up a scalpel.<p>

Its light and cold in my hand, the room is cold and dark, but the sun filtering in through the window is enough to see what I'm doing. I limp up to the bed, I feel a little heavy. I swallow and look down at her. I start to shake and I hold the scalpel tighter in my hand. I let out a breath and raise it up.

_"I know you; you won't be able to live with this."_

I jump and turn around, all I see is the rest of the room. My heart speeds up, I had heard Rick's voice, clear and calm. Just like my brother always used to be. I shake my head and turn back to Carol. She deserved to die. For all she had done and taken from me. I could do this and live with the repercussions.

_"You don't know what I'm able to live with!"_

I blink and look around the room again, that was Shane. I shake my head again and tell myself to focus. I'm shaking, all of me. But my hand seems to be shaking the most of any part of my body.

_"You can't do this! Don't let this eat you up."_

I close my eyes tight and try to calm down. I had to do this! Carol had tried to destroy everything in my life for the past several years. Had tried to take Daryl from me, had taken my child, left me for dead. I had put up with her crap and I had to finally do something about it. I could do it. I know I can. I can end her.

_"How about what you two can do huh?" a mirthless laugh "What happened Rick, thought you weren't the good guy anymore? What about you Kelly? What can you do? You come out here, demanding we stop. You never just let things go!"_

_"You both come back here and you just __destroy everything!__"_

"Stop it!" I shout out forcing my eyes open. My breathing is heavy and my heart is pounding. I grit my teeth and step up right beside the bed. I force Shane's voice out of my head and I reach out and feel Carol's chest for her heartbeat so I could stab her and get it over with fast, more than she deserved.

_"But you two don't care. Just like always. It's always about what you want, about what you say!"_

I ignore the voice. It wasn't really Shane. Shane was gone. Dead and gone. Killed in the worst way for the worst reasons. He could have changed if just given the chance. But Rick didn't think so. Had just killed him. Even after all the horrible things Shane had done, he didn't deserve to die.

_"You're gonna have to kill an unarmed man."_

Rick's voice fills my ears and I freeze in my tracks. And I stopped and looked at where I was. I feel my chest tighten and my vison blurs, I scream out and throw the scalpel away from me before I deliver a sharp punch to the bed, my knuckles hitting Carol's arm before I collapse on the floor. My head to my knees and my hands to my ears.

_"Nothing has happened here." Rick says._

_"We can all go back Shane." I say._

_"We can put this all behind us, brother. We can go back, all of us." Rick says._

_But it didn't make it hurt less._


	19. Nineteen: Emotions Run High

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

TO MY AMAZING REVIERS MANY THANKS!

DarylDixon'sLover, Guest, Goldenfightergirl, mrskaz453, and HermioneandMarcusThank all of you for your last reviews! Hope to hear from all of you again!

Thank You to the 120 favorites and 178 followers! (Oh My Gosh this is amazing!)

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><p>Chapter Nineteen: Emotions Run High<p>

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><p>I had moved from the side of the bed and retrieved the scalpel and now I sat against the wall, looking at the woman on the bed and trying to figure out my thoughts. I had every right to kill her, everything in my head was telling me to do just that. Then why couldn't I? Why did I hear Shane in my head? My brother?<p>

We had never found out for sure if Shane had killed Otis, it was totally speculation on our part, even though that speculation was looking to pretty true, especially at the end. Shane had done it for Carl, there was no other explanation for it. He had killed somebody for someone he loved, so why couldn't I?

All around me were consequences for not killing somebody. If Rick had killed Brian at the feed store we wouldn't have lost the prison, if Rick had killed the prisoners Lori and T-Dogg would be alive, if if if. What would happen now since I wasn't killing her? She deserved to die. But maybe I didn't have to kill her. If I told Rick what she'd done, if I told Daryl, they'd surly take care of it right?

But what if I didn't see them again? It was a possibility.

No. if I wanted it done I'd have to do it myself.

I took a breath and went to stand up, but Beth came in the door. She jumped when she saw I was in here. "Hey, what are you doing?" I didn't say anything, suddenly the scalpel in my hand felt heavy. Beth saw it too. "Kelly, what are you doing?"

"Can I ask you something?" I say looking at her. She blinks then nods. "Back at the farm, after the barn thing. How did you do it? How did you get the nerve to…?"

"Cut my wrists? That Andrea woman, after Lori left me, she came in, said some stuff, and I just did it. But a few seconds later I regretted it and tried to stop it. Then Maggie showed up."

"So you just did it? Like it was no big thing?"

"It was a mistake. I shouldn't have done it. And neither should you." She says moving forward and taking the scalpel from my hands.

"She took Shayla." I say flatly.

"What?" Beth asks, looking down at me, confusion on her face.

"When I told you about Terminus, Shayla went with me into the compound, not into the train car with Daryl. Then Carol shows up at the door. She took Shayla and left me to die. I told myself I would kill her if I got the chance." I look back at Carol. "I just had that chance and I couldn't. I flashed back to when Rick shot Shane, all we had said. What he had said."

"Shane we crazy-,"

"You only knew a little of him. He wasn't like that. He wasn't that kind of person. This world made him that way. Made him that monster."

"Maybe that's why you can't do it." Beth says as she slides down the wall next to me. "Because you're not a monster. Not like her, not like the governor."

I let out a sigh and lean my head against the wall. Beth reaches over and takes my hand. And we just sit in silence. I suck in a breath and close my eyes as Beth starts to hum some random song softly beside me. "I wish we could go back Beth. Back before I knew any of this."

"We can't. As much as we want too."

"I know. But I can still dream. I can still dream that this is the nightmare and I'll wake up tomorrow and this will all be over." So I kept my eyes closed and tried to think back to my past life as Beth continued to hum. I had to dream.

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><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

It was finally morning. I had everything on my back and I was changing Shayla, getting ready to tell her goodbye when Noah came up to me. "You guys have two kids, that's really cool. I have two baby brothers back home." I don't say anything, just re-button her clothes. "Who is her mom?" he asks.

"She's dead."

"I'm sorry, what was her name? If you don't mind me asking?"

"Her name was Kelly." I say abruptly before I pick Shayla up and hand her to Michonne.

Soon we're back on the road, heading towards Atlanta. The town that had started it all for us. Where we had found some answers, blew up a window, watched as the CDC blew up, and where I had started falling for Kelly Grimes. She was so sweet back then. Shy and nervous. Attached to Rick or Shane. Until the night she figured it out between Shane and Lori. Even then she still seemed to care for him. She had helped me with a hangover, I had helped her with a headache. It was there I first held her. Right after Jenner had told us we were all going to die. She had felt so helpless.

How wrong I was. She was anything but helpless.

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><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

Beth and I were just sitting still when Dawn came in, a bottle in her hand. She looked down at Beth and me before she sits on the edge of Carol's bed. She looks between us both, taking in our expressions. "It's okay to cry." She says.

"I don't cry anymore." Beth says back. As defiant of this I had been, Beth had been worse. It has been an amazing thing to see. To think about how far she had come.

"I do." Dawn says sadly. "I just don't let them see it." She holds the bottle out, Beth just looks at it. "It's from my own stash. There's no strings." Beth reaches out and takes it. The smell fills my nose and I know I should say something, but what's the point? Beth takes a swing then hands me the bottle. I flashback to the drink Abraham gave me on the roof. And just like then I take a drink even though I shouldn't. Beth and Dawn start talking about something I don't understand because I haven't been in a position to really know what's going on. I pretty much tune them out until Beth says something that catches my ear. "You're not the ones who have to remember."

"Is that what happened with Edwards and Trevitt? He used you?"

"I'm gonna get out." Beth says back. We're both gonna get out. Just like Noah."

"He'll be back." Dawn says, "They always come back."

"He's going home." Beth insisted, her voice sounding stronger than I have ever heard.

"I was like you when I was younger. Nobody could tell me anything." Dawn sighs and looks at Carol. "I'm not stupid. You both know her. And somehow all three of you wound up here. Maybe that means something. Beth, you can be a part of this thing. All three of you can be. This is important. Maybe the most important thing you do in your life." She stands up and takes her bottle back before she leaves the room. Beth looks over at me.

"You're not the only person who can't kill somebody who deserves it." Beth sighs and stands up. "Maybe one day we can both do what we need to do." Then she leaves the room. I stare at the door for a few minutes then slowly turn my head towards the bed when I hear a soft groan. Carol was moving. I stand up, and walk out the door, let her wake up alone. She didn't deserve to wake up with someone watching over her. She didn't deserve the life I couldn't take from her.

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><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

After the biggest shit-storm possible we're finally at the hospital, our group on one end, this Dawn chick's group at the other. She's decked out in her cop gear and I can't help but find it a little stupid. That uniform meant shit now. She introduces two of her people, then Rick steps up. He wasn't gung-ho for this plan, but he had lost the vote and he was going to do his best to make this work.

"I'm Rick Grimes. I was a deputy in the King County Sheriff's Department." There were days I forgot he used to be a cop. He hadn't acted like one in a very long time. But listening to him now it was very believable. "I'm here to make a proposal."

"What's your proposal?" She asks.

"You have two of my people, I have two of yours. We want to make an exchange. Then we'll be on our way. No one gets hurt."

"Who do you want?" she asks.

"Officers Shepherd and Licari for Beth and Carol." At Dawn's confused look Rick clarifies who they both are. A look of annoyance crosses her face.

"Noah, he's with you? That's how you know?" She asks, clearly not happy.

"Yes, he is."

Dawn whispers in the ear of one of her people and they take off, probably to get Beth and Carol. Then she starts talking again. "What about Officer Lamson?"

"He was attacked by the dead before we got to him." Rick says. At Dawn's skeptical look Shepherd backs up Rick's story.

"Rotters got him, Dawn. We saw it go down."

"Oh." Dawn says nodding her head as Beth comes down the hallway, wearing that stained yellow shirt from the country club we had been in, and a man in a white coat comes up behind her pushing Carol in a wheelchair, she looks a little loopy. "I'm sorry to hear that. He was one of the good guys."

"One of yours for one of mine." Rick says.

"All right." Dawn says as she motions for Carol and Beth to come towards us. Beth pushes Carol over to us before she steps up to Rick just as he lets the officers go back to Dawn.

"Rick, Kelly is here." She says looking at him. My mouth drops open.

"What?" he says, his whole body tense. My brain feels like it shut down. All I hear is Rick's angry voice cutting through the heavy fog demanding that she be brought.

"Only if you give me Noah." Dawn says back. The fog lifts and I can see Rick almost blow it.

"That wasn't part of the deal."

"Our deal was two for two. Now, if you want Kelly back, it goes three for three."

"You have no claim on him. The boy wants to go home."

"Well, then we don't have a deal." She says back. I step forward, but Rick stops me with his arm.

"You have no claim on my sister. Either you give her back or this will get ugly."

"It's already ugly." Dawn says. Rick takes one menacing step closer.

"You will get my sister or so help me I will end you."

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><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

A crazy rush of Dawn's men had ran past my door. I opened it and saw them disappear down the hall and around the corridor. I shrugged my shoulders and went back in the room and sat on the bed, several minutes later the door busted open and Dr. Edwards came rushing in. "Your brother is here and is threatening to shoot this place up. Dawn doesn't want to give you up, but I would like to live."

I just blink at him. He had spoken so fast I had to make sure I understood him. He holds out the clothes I had been wearing when I had been brought in here, my necklace in a plastic gab at the top. I stand from the bed and take them before I follow him down the hall.

Sure enough, there is what appears to be a western style showdown in the hall and Rick was looking very pissed off. How in the world did they even know I was here, that any of us were here? I slowly and painfully make my way past the guards and before I could get any closer to them my arm was grabbed by the bastard Gorman and I was held back. I was barely able to walk and it was only thanks to his arms that I didn't fall to the floor.

I looked at my group, my family. Daryl looked like he was seeing a ghost and Carol looked guilty as hell. "She fucking left me there to die!" I yell out directly at Carol. "If she goes I'm fucking staying here!"

"Nobody is staying here Kelly." Rick says, "We deal with our own." He says. His whole body is tense and shaking. I start to say something when a voice I had never heard before comes up from behind Rick, and from how Rick reacted, this kid wasn't supposed to be here.

"Wait! It's okay." Then a boy I had never seen before steps forward, "I'll stay. She belongs with them." He walks to the center of the hall between the two groups and I'm roughly shoved forward. My feet and legs tense in pain and I fall to the floor. Daryl rushes forwards and grabs me from the floor, pulling me tight against him.

I'm surrounded by him and all things Daryl. His smell, feel, heat. He's shaking, he's tense. "Shayla's fine." He whispers as he leads me down the hall. I can't walk so he easily sweeps me off my feet and carries me down the hall and he keeps walking when Rick's voice echoes down the hall, offering a place to any of Dawn's people that want to come with him.

Daryl carries me outside and all I do is cling to him. We walk by voices asking what was going on, Daryl just ignores them and carries me on. Soon we're in a parking garage across from the hospital. He finally sets me down on the back of a truck and just stares at me. I reach my hand out and stroke his hair from his face. "I need to cut this." I say quietly.

"She told us you were dead." He says, his voice thick with tears and anger. "When she showed up with Shayla in her arms….what else was I supposed to think?" he pushes away from the truck and grabs his hair. "GOD DAMN IT!" he screams, louder than I've ever heard him scream. Then he starts to pace. I gently hop down from the truck, ignoring the pain in my feet and legs. I go up to him and grab his shoulder. He turns and looks at me, his face red and his eyes full of so much hurt I feel tears at my eyes too.

"You didn't know-,"

"But I fucking should have! Fuck! Ever since that damn winter you've been telling me over and over she was bad news, and all I did was chalk it up to you being jealous or some shit like that. And she's done some bad shit in the past but this is unforgivable! If your damn brother doesn't do something about her I will!"

"Daryl. Please. Just stop." I say wrapping my arms around him, his immediately going around me. I feel something in my chest explode and I just collapse in a mess of tears and cries. "I hate her! I hate her so damn much Daryl! But I couldn't kill her. I tried, I tried so damn hard but I just couldn't! Why couldn't I?"

He doesn't answer me, probably because there is no answer. We just collapse together on the ground of the parking garage, he holds me tighter than I think he ever has, just stroking my hair and rocking us back and forth. All I want to do is get away, run away from all of this. But I know we can't. Even though I'm free from Dawn, I'm trapped in this world. Nothing will ever be okay in this world. Nothing would ever not hurt.

* * *

><p>Rick's PoV<p>

Beth was swept away from me the moment we got outside. I don't know how but Maggie and company were standing outside the hospital. Beth had been crushed by her sister's embrace, and I was going in search of mine, Merle hot on my tail and Carol was with Tyreese. "What do you think she meant back there" Merle asks as we walk towards the parking garage.

"Exactly what it sounds like."

"What are you going to do?"

"Whatever my sister wants me to do." I say, storming as far away from that hospital as I could. I was not happy with how it went down, but at least we all got out alive, with Noah right on our heels. Beth would need to be dealt with too. After pulling a stunt like she is very lucky to still be alive.

The closer we get to the garage the more screaming we hear, at first I thought walkers, but then I heard words. Followed by the worst kind of crying I have ever heard. We get up to the level and Daryl and Kelly are in a heap on the floor, my sister crying like she hadn't in a very long time. Merle and I simply stand back, giving them the space they need. It feel like forever until the look up and see us. All Kelly does is hold her arms out to me and I immediately go to her, picking her up in my arms and hugging her. "What do you want me to do?" I ask as I finally set her on her feet and pull away a bit from her. "Whatever you want me to do to Carol I'll do it."

"Right now I just want to see Shayla. I just want to get out of here." She says, her voice weak and her eyes are surrounded in dark circles. I nod and take her hands, it's then I notice how banged up she was. "What happened to you?" I ask, holding her hands up. She told us everything, from being taken away from the train car to her escape from Terminus."

"She just left you there?" Merle asks, his whole face red and if smoke could come from his ears it probably would be. Kelly just shakes her head and closes her eyes.

"Is Shayla okay?" Kelly asks after a few silent minutes.

"Ya," I say "She's with Michonne on the lower level. So it Judith. We're all okay."

Kelly's face lights up with a smile and she pulls away from me, moving towards the ramp. Daryl moves forward and wraps his around her middle and helps her down it. Merle and I follow close behind and we just move into their lines of vision before Kelly is swarmed by the others, Daryl getting pushed back.

I look forward and see Carol standing with her eyes down and looking every bit the guilty criminal that she was.

The people that were staying back Noah, Gabriel, Rosita, Tara, Eugene, and Abraham.

The rest had swarmed my sister and in Kelly's arms was Shayla. We were all together again. For the first time since the prison we were all back where we belonged. This time I would work even harder to keep it that way. Tyrese pulled Kelly into a huge hug that made her giggle. It would only a matter of time before she would ask about Bob.

And when she would do that the mood would be broken and we'd all be back in reality.

"It's getting dark. We need to find a place." Daryl says, his voice tight. I look at him and his eyes are fixed in a hard, icy stare in Carol's direction. I did not blame him. We would have to deal with her.

And he was right. Safety first. We would deal with Carol tomorrow.


	20. Chapter Twenty: Starting Over

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

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* * *

><p>Chapter Twenty: Starting Over<p>

Kelly's PoV

We took shelter for the night in an old hotel, each in rooms that were side-by-side. Rick, Carl, and Judith's room connected to Daryl's and mine by a door. We had said our goodnights, but I felt like I had been hugged by everyone more times in the past few hours than in the past few years. Tyreese was staying with Carol in the room furthers away from me. He was the only one stick beside her, which hurt me a little, but I suspected he had his own reasons, Ty always was a big teddy bear at heart, something I had always teased him about back at the prison.

Shayla was sleeping in a drawer we had pulled out of the dresser and lined with a blanket and set on the floor on my side of the bed, Daryl warned me she woke up a lot at night and that he could take her if I needed him too. But right now I was just so relieved to have her back I didn't care if she slept at all tonight. But sleep she did, which also gave me alone time with Daryl.

I snuggled up against him on the bed and just breathed him in. He was smelly, but I probably was too, I also smelled cigarettes on his too. "You've been smoking again." I say looking up at him with a smile.

"Yep, after we got away and we were at that church it just seemed like something to do." He says, his hand stroking my forehead.

"I drank a few times. So you're not the only one who has dabbled in some past vices." I say back at him, tracing some of the scars on his chest with my finger.

"What are you going to have Rick do with Carol?"

"I don't know, which is weird because a few hours ago I was determined to kill her."

"Why didn't you?" he asks, rolling more to his side so he can look at me better, his eyes are searching my face and he grabs my hand gently, mindful of the injuries that were still there. Slashing your palms open on metal and glass is something that doesn't heal overnight.

"I don't know." I shrug, "I had the chance, had the scalpel and everything. But I just couldn't." a silence fell over us and I sighed and sat up, the moon made seeing his face a little easier in the darkness, but it still wasn't the best view. "You remember when you were out looking for Sophia on the horse and it threw you?" I ask, Daryl is still laying down, but he has grabbed my hand again, his rough fingers rubbing over mine. He has been touching me constantly since we left the parking garage. Holding my hand, putting his arm around my shoulder, just a constant touching presence. Not that I minded.

"Yea, it's hard to forget getting an arrow jammed in your side then shot in the face." He says joking, but he's not hitting what I'm talking about.

"Later, when you told me what happened, you said you heard Merle, that you saw him."

"Ya, so what? He's always been fucking annoying, no reason he should stop simply because he was missing."

"Did it seem like you were reliving something? Like what you heard him say, was it something that had really happened?" I ask, wondering if I should even tell him what had stopped me.

"No. I just hallucinated him being a dick. Some twisted form of self-motivation probably. Brought on by blood loss and being rolled down a massive cliff. Why you asking about this, it was years ago."

"When I was standing there, getting ready to kill Carol, I heard something, or someone rather."

"Who?"

"Shane."

He sat up when I said that. His face now highlighted by the moon. "You heard Shane?"

"And Rick. But it wasn't just any random conversation. It was like a replay of what happened the night Rick killed him. I heard parts of our conversation. I even heard myself and don't know why? Of all the people I could have heard warning me about murder Shane should have been the very last person on that list."

"Is that what's bugging you? Because you heard Shane? You've always defended him, even after all that. Always said we didn't know the real him."

"Because you didn't. Who you guys saw, even back at the quarry, that wasn't Shane. He turned into something horrible and it tore him apart."

"Maybe that's why you heard him." Daryl offers back when I stop talking in confusion.

"What?"

"Shane always cared for you, even in the end he did. Your whole life he had your back, even more than Rick, you told me that yourself. So maybe hearing Shane, hearing what he became after what he did was your way of warning yourself what you could become if you killed Carol."

"But I have every right to kill her in my opinion." I defended for some reason. It's not like I was going to do it.

"That doesn't make it right. You stopped us from killing Randel even though we had the right to kill her, preservation of the group." He says, but I just shake my head and he moves his hands up to my shoulders and he pulls me against his chest, his arms wrapping fully around my back as I put mine around his middle. "Tell me what's really bothering you about this? Why is this bugging you so much?"

A silence fell over us as I shifted through my brain trying to find the answer to his question. Why was this bugging me so much? It could have just been a hallucination brought on from the adrenaline that was rushing through me at that moment. Or it could have been something else?

"What if I become like him?" I finally say. And once I said it I felt lighter somehow. "What if I turn into him?" I pull back from Daryl again and keep talking, "When I saw Carol rolled into that hospital, I was so angry, so infuriated. I vowed right then and there that I would end her. That I would finally put an end to everything with her. I mean, she's been driving me batty since the CDC, a constant annoying insect that I've had to put up with. Then after I couldn't….I got to thinking, has she really been that bad or has it simply been me and my inability to let things to that got us to this point?" I then told him about what had happened between Tara and me, about our fight and then Merle's stern lecture about me and my attitude. "I don't want to be like him Daryl. Yes, he was a good man, a long time ago. But what he was when he died, he was a very dangerous person."

"You're not going to end up like him Kelly." Daryl says as he grabs my hand again. "Yes, you have an inability to let things go, you're impulsive, always running from your own issues, but there is so much more to you than that. You care about people and they care about you. As pissed as I am about the Abraham thing, I get why it happened. He was drawn to you the same way I was. There is a reason we happened so fast. You are the best person I have ever met. I look at you and all I wish is that I could have met you before all of this. Back when we could have done everything right, back when we would have had to sneak around your brother."

I can't help but laugh at his words, Rick would not have been pleased with me if I would have dated Daryl back in the day. And I wondered, not for the first time, if I even would have? I look back up at him, his face, hard and dirty though it was, was the reason I was drawn to him. His eyes, so sunken in and hard, that did a great job at hiding the soft soul that resided in this man.

"I'm babbling." He says shaking his head and shaking me out of my own thoughts. "Look, you don't have to worry about becoming Shane. He's gone Kelly, has been for years. You really need to let him rest, what happened with him wasn't your fault, just like what happened with Carol wasn't your fault. People change and do stupid things, things that they have to deal with the repercussions of. Even if you didn't kill Carol regardless of your right to, so what. Now everyone knows what she's like. She'll never have her relationship with any of them again. And even if you tell Rick to let her stay, I'd be surprised if he did. He left her out there once."

I just smile and nod my head, he pulls me back against him then back down to the pillows. I cuddle back up to his side and nuzzle my head against his warm skin. He pulls me tighter and kisses my head. I look up at him and I gently pull his head down to meet mine. It was supposed to be a simple kiss, and the first one was, then, as with everything between us, it gained momentum fast. I roll on top of him and go after his neck, for the first time in our relationship I take control. I'm causing him to moan and squirm. It's quite fun actually.

But he ruins my fun, flipping me over easily, then he leans over to the side of the bed and rummages around in his bag and my mouth drops open in shock. "Seriously?" I ask breathlessly, unbelieving that he even has one. He eventually makes a triumphant sound and soon sprawls back across me. He waves the packet in my face. "You never told me you were a boy scout." I giggle at him.

"I'm not, but Glenn probably was." He says back, I can't help but laugh in his face. My mind snapping back to the first time between us when he had asked Glenn for one then too. How many times had he asked the poor man for a condom? I guess it was guy code or something like that. Daryl let out a growl at my laugh and threatened to end it if I didn't apologize. I quickly did and we continued. Even though he didn't let me back on top, it ended up being even more fun than before.

* * *

><p>Rick's PoV<p>

I was feeding Judith some food as I watched the dawn break over the city. It seemed like a lifetime since we were last here. Back when all of this was still new. I think about who I had lost since then, it was a big list. For some reason I had this weird desire to drive by where the CDC had once stood. Back before all of this, we had been a small group looking for answers. Answers we never got. And only six of us, myself included, that had seen the CDC and that were here now. Only six.

This had to been some sign that it was time to move on, to really move on. Out of Georgia. Noah had told us that he was going home, back to Virginia. He had said it was secure, walls, people, his family. Carl shifts in his sleep, one of his feet sticking out of the blanket, something he's always done. Something Lori did. I close my eyes before I look down at Judith. And a dark thought crossed my mind.

Would there ever be a day, a day where I would look at her and see Shane looking back at me instead of Lori?

I hoped not.

But even if it did, she was mine, my little daughter. Lori had wanted another child, but she refused to have one while we were having financial troubles, and our marriage had been rocky before I had gotten shot. Now the daughter was here and we were not. It was here in Atlanta that I had found out about Lori and Shane. Where Kelly had fallen for Daryl. This place was the beginning of this journey we were on. When we left here we had had no real plan, just drive. Fort Benning had always been an illusion even from the beginning.

It was time to move on. After Judith was finished eating I would wake everyone up. We would gather our stuff and go back on the road. But I would talk to everyone first, ask then what they thought about moving on, moving out of this state. It could be a real fresh start for us. Just get completely away from all the pain that this place held for us. Get away from the past that we were all desperately searching for a way to escape.

* * *

><p>We met in the lobby an hour after I had woken them up. We ate a small breakfast of canned fruit and we decided to head towards Virginia. Glenn found an old map that was stuck under the front desk. 500 miles. That's how far we would have to travel. Glenn and I sat with our heads close trying to plan out our route, Carol sat alone and far from everyone. Something would have to be done about her too. I shook my head and looked back down at the map. Glenn and I both fell silent when we saw one of our options would take us right by the prison. We immediately looked for a different way. This was supposed to be a fresh start and driving by that place would be a stark reminder of the good life we had had.<p>

My head snapped up when I heard crying, but it was Shayla, Judith was happily playing with some paper cups that had been left behind by the scavengers who had cleaned this place out. Kelly and Daryl were so funny to watch as they double teamed the baby to change her diaper. I asked Glenn if there were any baby stores close to us. He then ran down the list. It had been years since he had delivered pizzas, but he still remembered. He and Maggie offered to go on a quick run for us. I sent Michonne with them while I, Tyrese, and Daryl went in search of a vehicle that could haul all of us. If we couldn't find one then we would convoy like we had driving into this town so long ago.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

I hugged my brother and Daryl and ushered them out the door after assuring them that I would be fine. I was sitting in the chair watching Judith play while Shayla wiggled and gurgled beside me, her hands trying to grasp the paper cup I wiggled in her face. "Hello, I'm Gabriel." I look up and see the man that had been hiding in a church for a few years.

"Kelly." I say offering my hand.

"You're Rick's sister?" he asks, looking a little off and I remember Daryl telling me he didn't quite trust the priest. I nod my head and I wonder how he's been able to keep his head so bald. "When your group found me they thought you were dead, and yet by the Lord's grace here you are. Truly if you were allowed to find them again then you are a good woman." I just blink at him, suddenly a little on edge.

"I guess, what is it you want?"

"I overheard your brother last night saying that that woman's life," he points to Carol off in the corner, "hangs in the balance of your words. I am here to ask that you grant her mercy just as the Lord has showed you mercy."

"Whoa," I say, my mouth dropping open and looking at this man. "Are you serious? She sends you over here, asking for her life? Are you serious?"

"She did not ask me. I am asking you. She is a human being, a lost and sad human being who does not deserve to be killed or left to die like an animal."

"Do you even know what she did? She doesn't deserve my forgiveness." I say angrily. How dare he stick his nose into by business!

"I am aware of what she did, taking your child and lying to conceal her transgression was very wrong, but she has asked for forgiveness, she has sought out help for her sins. And even though God can offer forgiveness in her heart, only you hold that power over her person."

"Look, you may think you know what's going on between me and her, but you have no idea. And how dare you-." I'm interrupted as a huge hand slaps down on Gabriel's shoulder. Then a gruff voice fills the air.

"I think you need to leave this area padre. You're upsetting the lady." Abraham says, standing at his full height, and he easily made the priest look like a dwarf in comparison. Gabriel looks at me, asking me to think on his words, before he scurries away to where Rosita and Tara were sitting.

"Thanks." I say as I pick Shayla up and scoot over on the couch so he could sit down.

A thick silence fell between us and I bit my lip wondering if I should say something.

"Back at Terminus." He says, breaking the silence, "we were in that boxcar, Glenn introduced us to your brother and to Daryl. I thought your man was going to punch me right in the face. His face turned this sickly purple color. I think the only reason he did was because he was too worried about you."

"Daryl's a good man. If you're wondering why I told him it's because I had to. I couldn't look him in the face and lie to him. Not after some of the crap I yelled at him for."

"Kelly, when I kissed you…if I'd have known…" he sighs and rubs his hand over his face. "If I would have known that he was alive I wouldn't have. But in my experience you don't get people back that you lose, no matter how much you loved them. And all the time we spent together, how often you made me laugh…I hadn't felt that way since my wife died. I fell in love with you." He says, his eyes looking at me.

I felt something grip my heart, no! no! no! no! I thought in my head. This was not the time for this!

"But then, I saw you and Daryl together, saw that look in your eyes. You are head-over-heals for him. I'm not going to get between that, ever. If I had known then what I know now I wouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have put you in that position. And it was wrong of me."

"It wasn't just you Abraham." I say laying a hand on his arm. "I was in that field too. I kissed you too. So take some of that blame and set it on me. Daryl and I talked it over, and we're dealing. Now you and I have spoken our peace. You're a good man too Abraham." I look pointedly at Rosita, "and there is a good woman. And if you haven't seen the way she looks at you, you are blind. Give her a try, she's more like you than you'll ever realize."

"So where does this leave us?" he asks. I hold out my hand and I smile when she take it.

"It leaves us as friends Abraham. Friends."

* * *

><p>A few minutes later Glenn's group comes back, their packs filled with things from diapers to formula and baby food. One of the stores had been barricaded by a metal gate that had somehow magically not been ransacked yet. There was enough food for the girls to make the trip to Virginia. But the best thing had been when Michonne came in pushing a double stroller.<p>

About an hour after than three vans pulled up outside the hotel. Rick and his group came in then we discussed who was going to be where and then we starting hauling all the useful stuff from the hotel to the vans and then we got in. In my van was Rick who was driving, Michonne beside him, Daryl and I in the middle, and Merle and Carl with the girls in the back. Merle had fallen back into his uncle role with flying colors, even going back to refusing to hand her over when she was crying. I thought it was cute, Daryl thought it was annoying.

Behind us was the second van that consisted of Abraham, Rosita, Eugene, Gabriel, Carol, and Tara. They were followed by the last van that had Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Noah, Tyrese and Sasha. "We're gonna go by the CDC." Rick says when we turn down this road. I immediately start looking out the windows.

"Which side?"

"Left I believe." He says, I lean over Daryl and press my face against the glass. There are walkers that head towards us because of the sound, but we drive past them without incident. Then I see it up ahead, it's a pile of rubble, I knew it would be, but it was weird seeing it again. Somewhere under that huge pile of burnt metal and glass was Jackie and Jenner.

_"There is no hope." Jenner says, "There never was."_

_"There is always hope." Rick says "Maybe not here, maybe not you, but somebody, somewhere."_

So much had changed since we were here last. I stare at the pile until it's out of sight. I look out the back window and I see Carol's head stick out of the window looking at it too. I shake my head and sit right in my seat. Daryl reaches over and takes my hand. "Your dog crapped in that hallway." He says with a smile.

And with that the tension in the car is broken and I stick my tongue out at him as everyone else has a chuckle. I ask Rick how far it is from here to Virginia and has tells me eight hours if our luck was good and nobody had to stop to pee.

The trip was mostly uneventful. We did have to stop, several times. We were a traveling group with eight women and two babies. A non-stop trip was not an option. Rick also didn't want us traveling at night. The headlights would draw attention and he didn't want to get into Richmond in the middle of the night.

When we crossed into North Carolina Rick stopped the convoy and we all got out to stretch out legs while Rick and Glenn poured over the map and tried to find us place to stop for the night. I got out for the first time since we left Atlanta and all the bones in my body decided to crack with each movement I made. Daryl hops out behind me and rubs my shoulders. "Been a long time since I've been cooped up like that. I do some toe-touches and roll my shoulders and neck.

He and I pry Shayla out of Merle's arms and we go off to the side of the road and look at the North Carolina sign. The red and white of the state flag is faded and very dirty. "This is the first time I've been out of Georgia." Daryl says, reaching up to wipe some of the dirt off of the sign. "I always wanted to get out though. But I was stuck. Now, here I am, out of Georgia with a wife and kid."

"Wife?" I ask smiling at him. "Last I checked, sir, there was not a ring on this finger."

"Maybe I should fix that." He says looking at me, his face serious.

I gave Shayla a little bounce in my arms when she started fussing, then I looked back at him. "Daryl, are you serious?"

"Well, I don't have one right now, but when I find one, I think we should. Hell we're basically married anyways." He says, shuffling his feet in the dirt. A huge smile cracks across my face and I take a few steps towards him and pull him down for a kiss. He pulls me tight against him until I pull away from him, giggling at the disgruntled sound Shayla made. I look down at her and rub my finger across her nose.

"Is that okay with you?" I ask her as Daryl tickles her belly. "Can mommy and daddy get married?" all she does in gurgle in response and I laugh at her while Daryl puts his arm around me and leads us back to the vans.

* * *

><p>We pile back into the vans and Rick says we're going to drive until it gets dark and just sleep in the cars. I guess the group had voted while Daryl was proposing. So the drive continued. We started playing I-spy and twenty questions, we all realized Merle had a diseased brain with some of the stuff he was coming up with and Rick had yelled at him several times because of the little ears in the car, but Carl thought it was hilarious.<p>

We made it into a town called Concord. We stopped just inside the city limits and Rick, Abraham, and Tyrese would be on first watch. Listening to Rick try to climb up to the roof of the van was pretty funny. Daryl, Glenn, and Merle would be on second watch, then in the morning we would continue on to Virginia. Merle had climbed into the driver's seat to sleep, leaving Carl the whole backseat with the girls. Shayla was laying in the drawer I had taken from the hotel room and Judith was laying in his arms. He had always been so cute with his sister. Daryl tells me to lay down with my head in his lap as he leans his seat back. He runs his fingers through my hair and rubs circles around my eyes until I fall asleep.

A tiny cry fills the quiet of the van and I jerk awake, reaching for Shayla while Daryl dug in the bag. I pull her into my arms while Carl does what he can to make sure Judith didn't add to the racket by crying herself.

"Shh." I say as I rock her back and forth, feeling her diaper, finding it dry and try to feed her the bottle that Daryl made her, but she doesn't take it. She just cries. I try to force myself to keep calm as I flip her to where her ear is over my heart hoping it will calm her, but it doesn't. And her cries grow louder. Rick bangs on the roof hard, the signal that he had seen something. "Shh, Shayla, baby please. It's okay." I keep rocking her, feeling her skin, she's not hot or cold, and her breathing was fine. I try to remember what Hershel had told me during our parenting classes he had made Daryl and I have with him. But nothing was coming to my mind.

I hear Rick hop from the roof and opens the door, yelling at Merle to move as the vans behind us roar to life. Merle lumbers over the console and ends up with his upper body on Daryl's chest and his lower half dangerously close to kicking Michonne in the face. Rick gets in, slams the door and turns the van old. The headlights light up and all I see are walkers. Suddenly the van lurches as Rick steps on the gas, sending the van backwards, his cop training making him able to turn around without hitting the other van. His tires spin on the gravel before the van speeds away, Michonne pushes the rest of Merle on the floor and he squeezes himself on the floor between the seats and on top of mine and Daryl's feet. He swears and so does Rick as we drive away from our destination.

All the commotion has made Judith join the crying and Shayla is basically screaming now. I toss her over my shoulder and pat her back, but it's of no use. Daryl takes her from me when tears fall from my eyes. I feel horrible. He bounced her in his arms and ran the bottle over her mouth several times, and she eventually took it. Her cries dying instantly. A few moments later Judith followed. The silence was defining and we could finally feel the tension that had over-taken the van. We had to get away and find another path to Virginia.

We got to a new stopping point and Rick slammed his door shut when he got out. I jumped and Judith whimpered. Merle crawled out the door and onto the road and laid there with his feet still in the car. I stretched my feet and curled my toes and blood rushed back to them after being squished under Merle's weight. I bring a shaking hand up to Shayla's head as she sucks on her bottle, that is almost empty, but her eyes are closing. I rub her forehead and shake my head at the mess that had just happened.

* * *

><p>Dawn breaks, but I haven't slept since the crying fit. We were back on the road but the atmosphere was much more tense and subdued. We were not too far from where we were, about thirty minutes, but it was still thirty minutes of gas we were not short on. Shayla had a low grade fever this morning and Rick had said it was probably a cold. I kept her in my arms as we drove, her head resting over my heart. There was some cold medicine in the bag, but it was for older children, but Rick said just to dumb down the dosage and she would be fine. All she did was sleep after that. I worried that I had given her too much, but when she woke up an hour later crying and rubbing at her eyes. Daryl made her a bottle and I gave her more medicine.<p>

We got into Virginia and Rick stopped us again. Everyone got out, but I stayed in. it was cold outside and the last thing Shayla needed was to be exposed to the cold. I rocked her in my arms and willed her fever to go away. I wished Hershel was here. I reach into the bag and pull out a water bottle and a pair of my socks. I dump water on the sock and rub it across Shayla's forehead, wanting it to help get her fever down. Her eyes were red and puffy and her nose was running. It was also possible she had an ear infection from the way she was tugging at her ear. Daryl got those. The winter we were on the road and in the prison he was plagued by them. I heat of my body would have to do for her ear, there was no way to heat anything for her on the road.

After about ten minutes everyone got back in the car and I was told the plan, Rick, Daryl, Tyrese, Sasha, Michonne, and Noah would all go into Noah's hometown and the rest of us would do an inventory of our supplies and take the seats out of one of the vans so we could all fit into one, and take all the parts, gas, and oil out of the other two just in case this place was a bust. I was hoping it wouldn't be. And that there would be a doctor or something there to help. We drove until we were about five miles from the town. I kissed Daryl goodbye and stood watching them as they got into a nearby car and drove down the road as Shayla started to cry again as she awoke from her nap, her little hand pulling at her ear.

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><p>POLL TIME!<p>

I love getting you guys involved in my stories and it is the time again.

What to do with Carol!

I personally hate this character as you all know. And while nothing would make me happier than to kill her, I want to know what you guys want to see.

Kill Her

Leave Her behind

Let her stay

Other. (Tell me what you'd like to see that's not listed above.)

Let me know in the reviews and your wish shall be my command!


	21. Chapter Twenty One: Gone

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

TO MY AMAZING REVIEWERS MANY THANKS!

Iris RainbowWolf, Cleansing Soul, smclendon, WhisperedLove11, BlueEyedSalvatore, Lawsy89, mrskaz453, DarylDixon'sLover, HermioneandMarcus, and Guest for the amazing reviews and the great ideas! Thank You, thank you, thank you all a thousand times over!

An amazing thank you and shout out to the 125 favorites and 187 followers! This is fantastic! Just wow!

* * *

><p>Chapter Twenty One: Gone<p>

The day seemed to drag on, Shayla had grown warmer and fussier. Maggie and I took turns running a damp sock on her head and back trying to keep her temperature down, so far we had been somewhat successful. At least she wasn't getting any warmer. I was laying inside the now seat less van with Shayla's hurting pressed against my chest and the damp sock resting on her back as she slept. I just laid and listened to the sounds of everyone else outside. They were going out in shifts looking for some food, I knew nothing about the plants in this area so I was of no help. If we were still in Georgia it would have been a snap at least identifying them.

I wondered about Daryl and the others that had gone into the town, were they alive? What had they found? Merle had one of the radios that had been found, Rick had the others. As long as Rick checked in like he was supposed too he and Glenn wouldn't have to follow them. At the sound of Carol's voice I make a face and resist the desire to roll over away from it. But doing that would wake Shayla and that was the last thing I wanted right now. So I dealt with it. She was trying to help them figure out a way to get all the extra supplies on the top of the van, I was amuse and delighted when she was pretty much ignored. She had stayed close to Gabriel since Tyrese had left.

Tyrese was something I was surprised about. I had asked him that morning while Daryl was feeding Shayla and before they left as to why he took her side? Why he was helping her? All he had said was that it was the right thing. That he knew about what she had done to David and Karen. I had lost it then when he told me that. How could he forgive the woman who had killed his girlfriend, left me to die, and kidnapped a baby? He just said I wouldn't understand. I had shook my head in annoyance and stormed away from him, guessing the friendship we had had was now over.

But now, hours later, I felt bad about how I had treated him. He had every right to be friends with whoever he wanted, regardless of my feelings. But that still didn't change my mind on the matter. It would be a cold day in hell before I was nice to Carol again. Before she would even be able to talk to me.

So far she was wisely keeping her distance.

The van trunk is pulled open and Maggie climbs in, sitting down beside me, Glenn close the trunk behind her, blocking out the cold. "How is she doing?" Maggie asks in a whisper.

"Sleeping, but her nose is running a lot right now. I'm gonna need a new shirt when she wakes up.

"Hopefully Rick will be back with good news and we can get her inside a house with real medicine." She says tucking the blanket tighter around Shayla's little shoulders.

"I had lots of ear infections when I was little, if she's like me this won't be her last one." I say remembering the days and days I spend curled up on a heat pad with dad rubbing my back. "I had to get tubes when I was four."

"Sean did too. It's a really common thing with kids I guess."

"Rick never had them, I hated him for that so much when we were younger."

"The things we hate our siblings for." She says with a giggle.

"How's Beth?"

"Okay I think. We walked about dad last night. It's still hard him being gone."

At her words I feel a wash of guilt fall over me. It had been right there, not able to do anything, if I hadn't failed at getting away from the trailer there was a chance Hershel might still be alive. But I also knew it wasn't my fault. The man who had killed Hershel was dead himself. As much as we loved Hershel and missed him, we had to do what we always did when we lost one of our own, we grieved then moved on fast. I think the longest person we had ever mourned was maybe Sophia. We didn't have time to grieve anymore. But that didn't stop us from doing it anyway. "He was a good man." I say looking at Maggie, she gave me a small smile and nodded her head. We fell silent just as Shayla began squirming slightly in my arms, turning her head, her hurt ear moving away from the heat of my chest.

I sat up and shifted her in my arms. If I didn't get her ear back against the heat she would wake up and cry again. She gave a small cry at being moved, but settled down as soon as I had her in my arms, back against my chest again. I took my free hand and brushed it across her forehead. "Maggie, can you soak the sock for me? She feels really warm." Maggie nods and gets the sock and climbs out of the van. Shayla starts wiggling again and she pushes her little hand up between me and he head and starts pulling on her ear and a few minutes later starts giving me little cries of pain. "I know baby." I say softly kissing her head and giving her a tiny hug, just holding her tighter to me.

Maggie climbs back in the van and hands me the sock and I press it against Shayla, who squirms a little at the cold. "They're on the way back." Maggie says, at her voice I look up and see her face.

"Who?"

"Tyrese."

* * *

><p>Night had fallen, we were all piled in the vans for the last night when we had all three of them, Sasha was given the middle van and was left alone at her request. Merle and Glenn were on watch, Merle on top of the van, his huge feet making noise each time he shifted above up. Daryl and I were taking turns trying to settle Shayla down. As the sun disappeared from the sky so did Shayla's patience with the pain and she had been crying almost non-stop since the sun had set. Nothing was soothing her now, she was even refusing to eat. But we tried anyway and managed to get her to eat a little bit. Carl and Judith were moved to the last van for tonight. Judith and Shayla both crying would cause a problem that we were in no position to deal with. Maggie had stayed in the van with Daryl and me, helping when she could. The rest of the group were outside huddled under blankets and sleeping through the muffled sounds of Shayla's cries.<p>

Daryl was rocking Shayla and mumbling a song under his breath, pressing her face into his chest, his jacket zipped up tight over her body, giving her extra warmth at Rick's suggestion. In the morning we were going to Washington. Even though Eugene had lied through his teeth about his stuff, Rick figured there was a chance that something may still be standing there. He had been right about the CDC so I wasn't going to argue, and neither was anybody else.

Daryl managed to get Shayla to sleep some more and I cuddled up beside him, tossing the blanket over his body as I did so. "I miss your poncho." I whisper laying my head on his shoulder, my eyes looking at the outline of Shayla's head.

"It was warm, but really ugly thinking about it."

"I liked it, especially when we both wore it. Very warm and cozy."

"Uncomfortable, very snug around the neck. But it was nice, being that close to you." He lays his head on top of mine and lets out a breath. "Do you think she'll be better in the morning?"

"I don't know. It only took me a few days when I was little, but I had real medicine and I wasn't a baby. But I hope so. Another few days of this will be a nightmare, and not just for us. We're all getting squeezed in here tomorrow."

"It's gonna suck, but it's a good idea. Maybe we can tie a few people to the roof." He says with a small chuckle. The movement disturbing the baby and she let out a whine of protest. We fall silent as Daryl rubs her warm back until she stills again.

"We should sleep while we can." I say sitting up. Daryl very slowly stretches out on his back and I lay down beside him. I grab his hand and hold it as my eyes close. And after a while, I fall asleep.

* * *

><p>We don't sleep long, maybe an hour or two, Shayla wakes again and I pull her from Daryl and rewrap her in her blanket before I push open the van door. I get a few feet when Daryl stumbles out after me. "Where you going?" he asks tiredly as he walk up beside me.<p>

"Maybe walking with her will calm her down." I say over her cries. If she tugs at her ear anymore she's going to pull it right off her head.

"Her crying like that will attract the walkers."

"It's either that or she screams her head off in that van. Neither one is appealing, at least this way everyone else will get some peace. We won't go far, Glenn and Merle are like watch dogs."

"I'll go with you, you don't need to go alone."

"If you want, we're just gonna do some laps around the vans."

"I said I'm going with you woman." He grumbles. I shrug and start making laps around the van. The walking calms her, but there is no sleep. We walk and trade off holding her till the sun comes up. Her fever feels like its holding steady, not a good thing but at least it's not rising. Her eyes are crusty in the daylight, something that has me even more worried than I was. The medicine we had didn't seem to be helping anymore and I was afraid to give her anymore without a proper way to measure it out.

* * *

><p>Slowly the camp rises and we all sit in a weird circle as the fire burns, boiling the water that was found in the creek a few miles away. Carol is sitting out of the circle, everyone has mostly been ignoring her. Gabriel being the only one now that Tyrese was gone. I glance over at Sasha who is just twirling her knife in the dirt. He was buried ten feet from us. I've lost a lot of friends, but I've never lost one where my last words to them were full of anger. And that made the hurt worse than it already was. My last words to him were harsh and judgmental. Something I hoped he knew I didn't mean.<p>

"We have a decision to make." Rick says, standing from his spot on the ground. "For some of us, this is the second time we've had a talk like this. But, at Kelly's request, we're going to decide what to do with Carol as a group."

The already silent camp seemed to grow even quieter.

"There is a car, supplies, things she needs to survive on her own if that's what we decide. We can take her with us, or we can take care of it another way." Rick says, his voice cold and calculating.

"Another way?" Gabriel asks snakingly from his seat. "What do you mean?"

"Put a bullet in her brain." Merle sneers from his place, leaning against the van. "And shit, I didn't know ya'll had done this before. I missed some fun when I was gone."

"The situations are completely different, Rick." Glenn says, "Randel, he wasn't one of us. He posed a threat to our group-."

"And she doesn't?" Daryl interrupts. "Pretty sure that leaving someone for dead is threatening."

"It's still not the same." Glenn says.

"Who is Randel and what is the issue with that?" Rosita asks from where she is sitting next to Abraham.

Rick and Glenn launch into a shortened version of Randel and the meeting we had all had done about what to do with him and how it had ended. "So you voted to dump him. Why don't we do that here?" Eugene asks.

"Because I already tried that. Look what she did." Rick says.

"Does she even want to stay with us?" Beth asks, looking over at Carol. "When I was in that hospital I had no choice, with Randel you had no choice. She does. Or at least an opinion." Everyone looks at Carol whose eyes grow wide at the sudden attention sent her way. She clears her throat and stands up to speak.

"I do want to stay. I know I've done horrible things. Back at the prison—it was me. I killed Karen and David. But I did it to save us. They were sick! I thought if I ended it then the rest of us would be safe-."

"Doesn't excuse murder." Sasha says very quietly. She had been very happy when Ty had sort of gotten together with Karen.

"I did what I thought would help! They were sick, gonna die anyway. I acted, I did something immediately. Not a few days after we could talk about it!" Carol bites back.

"That doesn't excuse you!" I say pushing up from the ground. "All you've done since the moment I met you it bitch and whine! At the quarry you were being beaten and when someone tried to help you went crawling back to him! When you're daughter was chased in the woods, it was Rick and Daryl who went after her, not you! All the time at the farm, the winter, even the damn prison you did nothing but criticize and bark orders at people! And all that bullshit was let go, but then you murdered people Carol! You stabbed them in the head and let them burn! No matter what gets chosen here, nothing you do can change that!" I scream the last words at her, the pitch echoing off the bare trees and causing Shayla and Judith to cry. I storm past her, roughly pushing past her as I walk over to where Shayla was laying in the stroller that had been found. I pick her up and hold her against my chest, it's heaving from anger and the camp is silent again.

"Carol's been with us since the start Rick." Glenn says. "I'm not saying bring her with us. I'm saying leave her. But not here, bring her with us, the first town we find, building even, drop her there."

"We can give her one of the vans." Maggie says from beside him. "Kelly's right. All she's done is cause trouble. She took a baby from its mother and then told all of us Kelly was dead. How can we trust someone who would do that? And we need people we can trust out here. I vote leave her here."

"She's a human being." Gabriel speaks up. "One of God's children. She does not deserve this. Nobody deserve this kind of treatment, no matter the sins."

"This is a church padre." Abraham cuts in. "And I think harming a child is the worst sin a person can do."

"I didn't hurt Shayla!" Carol cries.

"You still took a child from its mother, for no reason." Maggie interjects.

"Not like Kelly was doing a great job." Tara says.

Michonne stands up and walks over to me when I freeze at Tara's words.

"When we were all on the road, she wasn't taking care of Shayla. Just passing her off to everybody else. While I agree that the murder thing is wrong, you can't blame Carol for wanting to take the baby from a bad mother."

I jump at the ferocity that Daryl, Rick, and Merle all jumped to their feet and pined ponytail with a harsh look. Abraham stood up too, but I think it was to protect her from being pumbled. "Whoa, Glenn says, coming to his feet between everybody. "Let's sit down and calm down." He turns to my brother. "Rick, you made this a group decision, and everyone in the group can say what they want. I don't agree with Tara, but she has a right to her opinion and her say."

After several tense seconds everyone but Rick sits back down, but he moves away from Tara. "Does anyone else have anything to say, any last opinions before we take a vote?"

"I was here first." Everyone looks at Carol. "I was a part of this group long before Rick even came along. It was me who help set us up, not Rick! And certainly not Kelly. Before we go pointing the finger at me for so called murder, why don't we look at Rick, look at our leader. How many people have you killed Rick? Let's ask you your damn three questions! You have more blood on your hands than I do. All of you!" she shrieks at us. "How many people have you murdered? More than me and for less of a reason that I did." She gives off a humorless laugh. "I'll make this easy on all of you. I'll leave. I don't want to be with this group. Maggie says we need people we can trust, so do I. and how can I trust people who turn on each other." She points at Merle. "You'll keep a racist hick who tried to trade off Michonne but you'll kick me out. Someone who's only tried to help. Forget that. I'll leave. Wouldn't want this perfect group to soil their hands with the blood of an innocent." And with that she grabbed her gun and stormed away from the camp, grabbing one of the gas cans as she went.

We watched as she filled the van with the gas and packed the one bag that Rick had given her, delivered by her only supporter Gabriel.

I watched with a blank face and Shayla held tight in my hands as she drove off. Instead of feeling guilty like I assumed I would, I felt relief. Plain and simple relief. She was gone. The woman who had caused so much trouble and drama in my life since this mess started was gone.

* * *

><p>Note: I know this is short and that Ty's death may seemed glossed over but I promise you it is not going to be that simple for our group. It is going to be an issue and something Kelly is going to have to deal with in a big way.<p>

Is Carol gone? Unless I see a huge need yes, the bitch is gone. I may be stuck with her on the show but not in my head.

DANG THE FANALE! Go Rick! GO! GO! GO!

REQUEST: I am looking for a beta! I'm tired of rereading my chapters and finding stupid typos that I somehow miss! If you are interested let me know in a PM!


	22. Chapter Twenty Two: Uncle's Plans

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**APOLOGY NOTE: I am SO sorry for this delay. I don't know if any of you have ever moved before, but it is the biggest pain in the butt! And it took so long to get the internet up a going. Just awful. Sorry this chapter is so short, but summer is here and so I will start updating regularly again. I promise! Again, so sorry about the wait. **

To all of my amazing, kick-ass reviewers! Thank You All!

Mattdombast, kellie, Iris RainbowWolf, sweetkiwi604, HermioneandMarcus, mrskaz453, and DarylDixon'sLover

An amazing thank you and shout out to the 138 favorites and 195 followers! This is fantastic! Just wow!

Also wanted to give a shout-out to my beta! Thank You for the suggestions and for editing my bad grammar!

* * *

><p>Chapter Twenty Two: Uncle's Plans<p>

A few minutes after Carol's departure we sat down on the ground around the fire again. Maggie took my hand as I sat down and pulled me in for a hug. "You're not a bad mother. Don't ever think that." She says with a smile. I nod and pull back, grateful she was still here in my life. There was still a feel a tension in the air, but after the food was dished out and the shock of it all wore off, we were back to how we always had been on the road, quiet yet content. We were together. Some of us has been together longer, but we are a family. And ever changing family.

So after a noisy breakfast, thanks only to Shayla and her poor ear, of the scavenged granola and raisins we all pile in the van. Rick and Glenn in the front seats, the rest of us are crammed in the back, sitting crisscross or simply using each other as foot rests. Judith and Shayla are kept far apart, the last thing we need is both of them getting sick. Yet things with Shayla are not getting any better, we haven't gotten her to eat or sleep since the previous day and it's taking constant wipe downs to control the fever. The more miles we travel the more I worry. Ear infections could be dangerous if not treated and we didn't have the ability to treat it.

"Let me take her, Kelly, you need to rest." Maggie says, holding out her hands. I slowly hand her my baby and all it does is make Shayla cry louder. I just hoped that we would get some help for her soon. I closed my eyes and leaned against the side of the van. Daryl has been out for a while since he was up most of the night with Shayla and was out the whole entire day. It's very cramped in this van, feet are in a tangled mess in the middle of the van, Judith is being passed around to everybody in the van keeping her entertained and laughing. But her giggles are drowned out by Shayla's crying.

I pull my knees to my chest and lay my head on them, one of my ears pressed tight against it, but it didn't help. I sighed and sat up straight and asked for Shayla back. I tossed her over my shoulder, her ear pressed against my shoulder as I rocked back and forth patting her back. I start to hum, the soft rumble hopefully helping in some way, but as the miles disappear under the wheels I know that it isn't.

Suddenly I feel like I'm reliving the winter after the farm, the stress, constant moving, and cramped vehicles. It was even cold like it was when that happened. But it's also different. We have two babies, several grieving people, and an angry priest who has no room to bitch about what was good or bad after what he had done.

I just hope this little escapade would end on a happier note.

* * *

><p>Night falls and we take shelter in a camper that was left at the side of the road, still attached to a dirty red ford truck. Daryl and I are given the bed that rests at the top of the gooseneck and we spend the whole night fussing with Shayla, my worry for her almost through the roof. "What are we gonna do?" I ask Daryl as I strip her down to her dirty diaper that I couldn't afford to change yet. We were running low. I was thinking about cutting the cloth seats from the truck and using that.<p>

"I don't know." He says, forcing the bottle that was full of water between her teeth, the formula being down to the minimum as well. She just gurgles and spits it back up at him, choking on what little had made it down her throat. I pull her up by her arms and pat her back to help her catch her breath. I pull off my shirt and lay her flat against my chest, Daryl passing me her light pink blanket that was recovered from the store in Atlanta. Her warm body feels nice against my cool skin, but I know that is not a good sign. Hopefully this will help regulate her body temperature. Daryl lays down beside me and turns off the flashlight, I feel him run a hand over Shayla's head and mumbles "I love you" in the dark. I close my eyes and for the first time in a long time I pray.

I pray for the group, for food and water, for safety, but mostly, I pray for Shayla.

I wake up just before the dawn breaks, the night sky looks like a dark shade of black, with hardly any sun rising from the ground. I feel very sticky and hot, I reach my hand up to the familiar weight on my chest and I rub the cool skin of Shayla's head. "Daryl!" I exclaim as I sit up, the coolness of the skin a stark contrast to the oven she has been for the past several days. He bolts up beside me as I fold her in my arms and sit up. Her head flops against my arms. I feel my chest tighten as Daryl just stares. "Rick! Help!" I scream, no thought to the walkers that could be outside.

I start bouncing my arms lightly, trying to get any kind of response from my daughter as Rick and Merle rush through the door, their weapons raised. "Something's wrong with Shayla!" I yell, tears fall hot from my eyes. Rick drops to his knees by me and Merle steps over to Daryl. Rick takes Shayla from my arms and looks her over, feeling her upper arms, his face hard and serious.

"Maggie." He hoarsely calls as I tug my discarded shirt from last night over my head. My hands shaking and I jump when Daryl helps pull my hair from the collar. Rick stands up as Maggie walks in. "Stay with them." Then he walks from the room, Shayla in his arms.

"Wait, Rick!" I call, swinging myself up from the bed, intending to go after him, Maggie wraps her arms around me and pulls me back to the bed. "Rick! No!" I yell, struggling against Maggie's hold. My vision blurs and I feel another pair of arms circle me from behind. Daryl presses his chest against my back and the worst sounds I have ever heard are falling from his lips. I hear the camper door open and slam closed and I feel my heart break as my head falls forward on Maggie's lap. "No." I brokenly call out, my mind blank.

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><p>Rick's PoV<p>

She had been gone a while. Had probably passed in the night. I got her out of the room with my sister and Daryl just as the once beautiful blue-brown eyes tried to open. I had to get her away from the camper. Losing her would be horrible enough. They did not need to see the baby as a walker. Glenn had followed me out, so had Kelly's cries. We walked a good distance from the camper, the baby in my arms now moving and the mouth thrashing, trying to get the underdeveloped muscles to move to my flesh.

Glenn had grabbed the shovel from the truck at some point, because when I finally stopped, my chest tight and throat dry, he began to dig not saying one word. The baby still moving in my arms became too much as I tried to decide if I should do it myself or if Daryl or Kelly would want to. Not that anyone wanted to have to do anything like this. This wouldn't be the first innocent I had killed in this life. Abraham soon emerged from the woods, his face red. "Daryl and Kelly are coming." He says. The decision was made for me, I would let them decide.

A few moments later our whole group came down, almost all with tears. Carl had Judith at the back. Kelly and Daryl are in the middle, their arms wrapped around each other. Daryl looking like he did when he arrived at the prison yelling that Merle was hurt. Kelly's face was impossible to describe. They walk up to me and Kelly pulls away from Daryl and walks up to me. "Give her here, please." She says, her eyes looking at the moving bundle in my arms.

"Kelly, it's too late-."

"I know, but we should be the ones to do it." She says, her voice breaking as she glances back at Daryl for a second.

"You don't have too."

"We need to. She's our baby Rick." Daryl says as he walks forward and pulls Kelly back against his chest. She closes her eyes and her hand clenches at his shirt front, hiding her face in the dirty green fabric.

I nod and Kelly pulls away, carefully pulling Shayla into her arms. Her knees buckle as the tiny weight falls in her arms and I move forward as Daryl keeps her upright. A heartbreaking sound breaks the morning stillness. Merle keeps a hand tight on Daryl's shoulder. She stands upright again and snuggles back against Daryl, one of his arms going under Kelly's as he helps hold their daughter. They ask to be alone and we, some of us begrudgingly, walk away from the family.

* * *

><p>We get back to the camper and I lean against the truck, my head falling hard on the metal side. Merle stands beside me, when I look up I notice just how heartbroken he was too. Glenn, Maggie, and Beth were all huddled together, and I motion Carl over to me and I pull him and Judith in for a tight hug. My mind flashing back to how much I had hurt when I thought Judith was gone, the pain I had felt. The pain I hadn't been able to really feel because I had to get Carl somewhere safe. But I still remember how raw it had felt.<p>

About fifteen tense and quiet minutes later I could feel the anxiety rolling off Merle. He, just like me, was getting worried. All I wanted to do was walk back and check on them. But I knew I shouldn't, it would be intruding on something that was only for them right now. In my former line of work grieving parents was nothing new to me. Shane and I had on several occasions been the officers to bring a random family the unhappy news about the loss of their child. The youngest had been six. The cries of those parents were always the same, yet always different. The mothers were the worst, but I had seen my fair share of fathers break down too. In all the trips we had made, we were only taken up on our offer to stay one time. All the other parents had asked us to leave. They had needed to grieve alone. This was no different. Daryl and Kelly needed time alone to grieve. This wouldn't be a fast thing either. They would never forget.

Merle is sitting on the ground, absently rubbing a rock down the length of his creepy sword hand thing. Tara, Sasha, and Eugene were sitting by the fire. Glenn, Maggie, and Beth were inside the camper gathering up stuff, my kids and Michonne were sitting at the edge of camp, trying to keep Judith entertained, and the rest were scavenging up the road for supplies. Abraham had just gotten up and left, Rosita following without question. Abraham and Kelly confused me, but he obviously cared for her, and it was probably hurting him watching her go through this. Or it was bringing up his own bad memories.

I sigh and finally sink down beside Merle. I look at the man beside me and I can't help but wonder at how far he and I had come. He was so different from the rough, obscene, racist man I had met on that mall roof in Atlanta all those years ago. "What do we do?" he quietly asks from beside me, his voice softer than I have ever heard it.

"Do?" I ask back, my eyes not leaving the path that lead to where my sister and friend were dealing with the biggest loss of their lives.

"For Daryl and Kelly. You're real good with words officer friendly. What do you think we should say?"

"There's nothing we can say. None of us have been through this, and the one person who has is now gone."

"I think that bitch would have made this worse."

"I know she would. When the prison fell and I thought Judith was gone….I just….I had other things to worry about. I had to get Carl out of there, I had to keep him safe. And that's horrible. I should have cared more, but there just wasn't time. But I got her back. They will never get their daughter back."

"My brother's never dealt with death like this. You met our dad, our mom wasn't too much better. We had our grandparents, but we still were not a close bunch. Daryl won't know how to deal with this." He says, his hand finally falling still, the rock falling to the ground with a thud. I take my eyes off of the woods and I look at Merle's eyes.

I have seen many faces of Merle Dixon, but this was one I had never seen, and one I hoped I never would see again.

* * *

><p>The sun is above the ground by the time Daryl and Kelly emerge from the woods. Their arms wrapped tight around each other, the pink blanket clutched tight in Kelly's hands. They walk right by us, not saying a word, and go to the van and they climb in, shutting the door behind them. I hear the ground shift beside me and I reached a hand out and held Merle in his place. His eyes hadn't lost their watery look since we had left the Daryl and Kelly alone in the woods.<p>

It would be an understatement to say that Merle and I had come a long way since we first met. I had seen him be many ways, act many ways, but this way….this lost, sad, slumped look was almost haunting. He was hurting as much as they were. But he wouldn't let it show, not openly anyway. Yet his eyes gave it all away.

When Daryl and Kelly had announced they were having a baby Merle had put his father in his place, then every time he had gone on a run he had brought something back for the baby. He swore it was going to be a boy, yet his face when Daryl had said it was a girl was pure magic. I had seen this huge, beast of a man wonder around the yard of the prison holding a bundle wrapped in pink. He would never get to do that again. All the plans he had made in his head for his niece were gone now. Never to be a reality.

It was then I realized how much I had missed out. I had only held her a few times. I was her Uncle just like Merle yet he was more upset than I was. I was more upset for my sister and what she was going through, he was upset about the loss of a niece. I felt my chest tighten and something painful seemed to hit my heart. I would never get the chance to build a relationship with my niece. My plans for being Uncle Rick were dead too.


	23. Chapter Twenty Three: Still Hope

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

This is for all of my readers. The ones who keep reading regardless of what happens. Thank you so much for your support!

Chapter Twenty Three: Still Hope

* * *

><p>Rick's PoV<p>

It takes about ten minutes for the rest of us to join them. The van is silent and the air is tense. Daryl and Kelly are at the front of the back area, they haven't said a word, Kelly still has the blanket tight in her hands and her arms wrapped around Daryl. Kelly was being like she always was when something big happened in her life. When mom had died she was the same way. She had clung to dad like he was a life-line. But it was the nightmares that were the worst part. She had always been plagued by them. I would have to add sleeping aids to the supply list again. It would only be a matter of time until they started up again.

I could read Kelly like a book, it was Daryl who looked like a blank slate. Merle was sitting next to him, not touching him, but I think just having him near was helping. Merle wasn't the best brother, even Daryl would say that, but he was there when it really mattered. He would be there for Daryl when he really needed it. But as I look back towards the long road ahead of us I feel lost. Lost in a way I hadn't in a long time when it came to my sister. How could I help her through this? What could I even say? She had lost people before, but they were nothing in comparison to a child. An innocent child.

Glenn looks over at me from behind the wheel with a very sad look in his eyes. We were all hurting, but our pain was miniscule in comparison to how Daryl and Kelly were feeling. I reach my hand out behind me and I briefly touch Kelly's knee. Her hand shoots out and grabs onto it. She turns her head towards me, her eyes wide and watery, face red and blotchy. She wants me to make it better. That look in her eyes in begging me to help her. But I can't. Nothing ever would fix this. So I squeeze her hand tight and I keep looking at her until her face contorts into a very painful expression and she buries her head back into Daryl's chest, letting my hand fall free as she curls back around him.

I breathe in deep to keep control as turn back towards the front. We were getting closer. Maybe when we get there we can settle down, take stock, and mourn. All I wanted for the rest of this trip was peace. I knew all it would take would be one thing to push Kelly over the edge. I knew I wouldn't be able to catch her this time. And with the look on Daryl's face I knew he wouldn't be able to either. In fact, he'd probably go right over the edge with her.

* * *

><p>Merle's PoV<p>

It was hot in this van. The windows only did so much. And it was cramped. My brain was trying to find every damn small problem available so I wouldn't have to look at my baby brother's face. That blank, hard face that looked too much like our old man's. It was an expression he hardly wore, but when he did….it was bad. And this was bad. Possible the worst thing that could ever happen to my brother.

Rick and I had had this weird agreement when they came out of the woods that he would watch Kelly and I would watch Daryl. They could only cling together for so much. Kelly hadn't been very stable since she the baby had been born anyway. I had never really bought that after baby depression bullshit. But after seeing Kelly fall apart after made it have a lot more merit. And just as she was getting better the baby was taken away.

I clench my jaw and swallow hard. It was too damn unfair. That baby hadn't done a damn thing to anyone to deserve that end. Yes she was sick, but did that mean she had to die in this world? A lack of medicine hadn't killed the damn cavemen why that little girl, that sweet baby who had looked at me and giggled when I tickled her tummy. I pop my neck and sniff the hot air. The sound almost disturbing the thick air of the van. As if the smallest sound was a nasty thing to be killed on sight.

Movement off to the side catches my eye and I see Kelly holding Rick's hand and both of their heartbreaking looks, yet it appeared like they were talking. I look at Daryl and I know if I even touched him right now he'd hit me. I was jealous of Rick and Kelly's relationship. They had that sibling bond I had been told I needed with Daryl, but I had never bothered to work on. I had had other, more important things to deal with when growing up. But now I regretted it. I had seen Rick fix things with a single look or a hug. It was always taken full on brawls between Daryl and me to even decide what pizza toppings we had wanted before. I could keep an eye on him, but I wouldn't be able to do anything if I saw Daryl fall apart.

Kelly lets go of Rick and curls back against Daryl and he tightens his hold on her shoulders. She brings the light pink blanket to her chest and her fingers are tight around the fabric. I lower my head and I think about the yellow blanket that was probably laying in the office of the prison. The one Shayla had always been wrapped in. She was in it the first time I held her. She had been so light. The lightest thing I had ever held in my life. Yet she had felt heavy.

Apart from Daryl, I had never held a baby. Yet I felt there was more responsibility on me when I held my niece than I had ever felt. She was so new, and unlike with Rick's kid, I had a real responsibility to her. I was going to be a very important part in her life. And I knew I did not want to screw this up. I did not need to let her down like I had with Daryl.

She was so precious and tiny. I was her Uncle Merle, while I had wanted them to have a boy, I had fallen in love the first time I saw her through the dirty door window. I had practiced on a watermelon how to pick her up with one hand. I remember how nervous I was the first time I had tried it with her.

Now I would never do it again.

I feel the burn of tears in my eyes and I jump at the feel of a hand on my shoulder. I turn and see the face of Michonne. Her hand is on my shoulder and she gives me a small squeeze. I turn back to the front and Maggie and Beth are both looking at me with long faces too. Maggie's arms were locked around Beth. She had been staying as close to her sister as possible since we had left Atlanta. But I bet if she could she would probably try to comfort me too. It was a girl thing, a girl thing I did not understand. I pick up my bottle of water and quickly drink down a gulp and as I set the bottle down, Michonne removes her hand. I feel strangely let down at the loss of her contact.

* * *

><p>Rick's PoV<p>

The barn is cold, but at least it is dry. The small fire is keeping the chill away, but that's only if you were by it. I look over to where Kelly is laying, finally asleep, covered by the heaviest blanket we had. Daryl had at least spoken today. Kelly hasn't said a word since we left the RV two days ago. The nightmares had come like I knew they would, and she stays silent. Daryl was keeping a better eye on her than even I was. Last night he was inside the barn before I even stood up when her nightmare came.

The thunder from the storm outside was making it hard for Judith to sleep, but Carl was holding her loosely in his arms and he just mumbled to her with each clap of thunder. Between keeping an eye on my kids and sister plus all I already had to do with the rest I felt more tired than I had in a very long time. I rub my eyes and stifle a yawn. "He's gonna be okay." Maggie says as she reaches over and rubs my shoulder. "He bounces back more than any of us do. Always has." I nod my head and look back at my kids. I think of Carl before and how he was now. He was more grown up now that he would be ten years from now if the world hadn't changed.

"I used to feel sorry for kids that have to grow up now. In this." I say looking back at everyone. "But I think I got it wrong. Growing up is getting used to the world. This is easier for them because this is all they will ever know."

"This isn't the world." Maggie says looking at me, "this isn't it."

"It might be." I say back. "It's been….what…..two, three years? Maybe longer. It hasn't gotten any better, it hasn't changed."

"That's giving up." She counters.

"It's reality. Until we see otherwise, this is what we have to live with." I fiddle at the ground and pick up a bit of hay. I start to tear it apart in my hands as I keep talking. "When I was a kid I asked my grandpa once if he ever killed any Germans in the war. He wouldn't answer. He said that was grown-up stuff, so I asked if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet. He said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself, "_Rest in peace. Now get up and go to war_." And then after a few years of pretending he was dead he made it out alive. That's the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do and then we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we'll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead."

It was very quiet in the barn. Even though I had said the words I felt the impact of them. Maybe it was something none of us had considered before? Or maybe, like me, it was something none of us wanted to face-

"We're not them." All of our heads shot up at the soft, scratchy voice that broke the tense silence. Daryl quickly gets to his feet and goes over to Kelly who is pushing herself up from the ground. She takes Daryl's hand in hers and as they walk towards the locked barn doors she looks back at me again and says. "We're not them Rick. We'll never be them."

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

The first words she's said since we lost our child were cold and they didn't make me hopeful like her first words should have. She takes me to the door, far away from the rest of the group. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tight. "I'm sorry." She says. "I'm so sorry." Her voice breaks and I hug her tighter.

"It's okay." I mutter, kissing the top of her head.

"No it's not. It's not okay. And what makes it worse is I haven't been there for you." She says as she pulls away, but her hands lock with mine. "I was so focused on me that I didn't….how are you? What are you feeling? Are you mad at me? Are you just mad? I want to know." As the tears fall from her eyes I pull her back against me. There was nothing but guilt rolling off of her. She was feeling guilty not only because of Shayla, but because she was feeling like she hasn't been there for me. Like she had let me down, let our relationship down.

"Listen to me." I say as I kiss her head. "You have nothing to be sorry about. This wasn't your fault. It wasn't my fault. We did all we could-."

"A stupid ear infection Daryl! That's what killed her. What kind of parents lets a-."

"First of all, we don't know what it was. None of us are doctors Kelly. We just assumed that's what it was. And if I had to guess I would say it was the fever anyway." I grab her hands and lead her over to the side of the barn and we sit on the ground, my arms immediately going around her. "Kelly, she was only a few months old, no shots, on the road, sick with no medicine. Kelly we did everything we could. It's not your fault."

She looks up at me. "But that still doesn't make it better. And it doesn't excuse the way I've been towards you. I'm sorry."

"I know." I say. "But it's okay."

"What do we do now?"

"I don't know. What we always do I guess."

"It hurts Daryl. It hurts so much." And then the tears are back, not just for her. They fall hot down my cheeks too.

* * *

><p>Rick's PoV<p>

The sound of sobs fill the quiet of the barn. Merle has his eyes glued to the ground. All the emotion making him uncomfortable. I glance over to where they're sitting and I think it's the break down they both needed. They hadn't had one, at least not that I saw, and they were doing it together. One of my biggest fears had been that they wouldn't face this together. I had seen so many couples break it off after the loss of a child. And if they did it would just add another level of issues. This wasn't a definitive thing, it could still happen, but it was a step in the right direction.

After a few minutes they quiet down, but don't go totally away. I pat Merle's shoulder then push up from the ground, stretching and popping my muscles. "We better get some sleep." I walk over to where Carl and Judith are and I lay down much to my aging body's dislike. I rub Judith's head that is no longer bald and close my eyes. I can't help but feel grateful that she was here, alive and well. That I still had my kids. The sounds of the others moving around and settling in for the night drowns out the emotions by the barn and when everyone stills, the barn is silent. I roll over and see that Daryl and Kelly are still awake and by the door. Holding hands and just being together. I smile a little at them before rolling back over and closing my eyes again. Hoping for an easy, quiet night.

The sounds of someone whimpering hit my ears and I roll over away from the sound, Daryl will take care of it. But it keeps going, other sounds fill the air and I groan and open my eyes. And soon I'm on my feet, quickly going to the door that most of us were trying to keep closed against the wind and rain that were battering the outside. I dig my feet into the ground and turn my shoulder into the door. I see Kelly doing the same beside me, her face is clenched in determination. Another strong gust and we're sent back. A few more of join us at the door and we all push against the straining wood and we push it back into place.

Judith's cries fill the air, but I know that if I let go of this door they wouldn't be able to keep the door shut. We all strain against the door, fighting the wind. Fighting against the impossible odds and yet we seemed to be succeeding. "Come on damn it!" someone behind me yells, I think it's Merle, but I could be wrong. We're pushed back again and we all push back just as hard. Our yells drowning out all other sounds.

Then slowly the fight from the other side of the door fade away. And one by one we all let go of the door. We all stand around, looking at each other. Carl goes and gets Judith, calming her down as he walks back to where we were all standing. But we just look at each other. Each of us realizing what we just did. Smiles creep across our faces. Then a few laughs rise from the group, and soon we're all laughing and smiling. Kelly wraps her arms around me and squeezes me tight. And then I'm being hugged by others as well. We're all together, a tangle of arms and faces. Laughing and smiling like we haven't been able to in a long, long time.

Then we said goodnight and we all went back to where we were before. A hand on my shoulder stops my movement and it's Daryl. He holds out his hand and I grasp it with mine. He's thanking me, thanking me in the only way he can. I don't know what he's thanking me for, but I can guess. He gives me a small smile and then he goes over to where he and Kelly had been sitting, as I turn to go back to where I was sleeping I see Kelly and Merle standing in a hug. She's saying something to him and its making Merle smile a little, but it's a sad smile. They had a great relationship. As rocky a start as possible, yet they were always picking on each other now. She was probably saying something about Shayla considering the look he had on his face.

I lay on the ground with a grunt and Carl lays Judith in my arms before he flops down, his hands going around the wadded up jacket he was using as a pillow and closing his eyes. I hear Merle say he would take watch and soon the barn is silent once again. I close my eyes and let out a breath. The air smells like rain and I know the outside is going to be so muddy and it would cause some problems traveling. But those were problems for the morning when the sun was up. My only order of business right now was sleep.

The rest of the night passes quickly. I didn't hear anything from Kelly but that didn't mean anything. I didn't even know if she actually slept or not. Maggie and Sasha head out the door. I catch a glimpse of the outside when the door opened and I shudder at what could have happened to us last night. We all start packing what little we had with us and Glenn and I sit with our heads together to figure out the fastest rout to DC. I'm not sure how much time passes when the barn door opens again and Sasha and Maggie come back. Maggie steps in but leaves the door open. She looks a little nervous, fidgety even. "Hey." She says, then she motions towards the door. "Everyone this is Aaron." I'm immediately on my feet, my insides clench up and I'm torn between anger at Maggie and distrust for this person. "We met him outside. He's by himself."

"We took his weapons and we took his gear." Sasha says holding a backpack up. I step forward and out of the corner of my eye I see Daryl standing in front of Kelly, his hand tight on his knife at his side.

"Hi." He says with a smile. I stare him up and down, trying to figure out why I felt so uneasy around him. "It's nice to meet you."

"You said he had a weapon?" I say, ignoring that man, Sasha hands it to me, I look it over before I hand it over to Merle who is looking at him as suspiciously as I was. "There's something you need?" I ask, but I know I'm not going to believe anything he has to say.

"He has a camp, nearby." Maggie says with a small smile. "He wants us to audition for membership."

"I wish there was another word." He speaks up. "Audition makes it sound like we're some kind of a dance troupe. That's only on Friday nights." His joke is bitter in the air and he quickly starts explaining himself. "Um, and it's not a camp. It's a community. I think you all would make valuable additions. But it's not my call. My job is to convince you all to follow me back home."

I give him a strange look and Merle snorts off to the side.

"I know. If I were you, I wouldn't go either. Not until I knew exactly what I was getting into. Sasha, can you hand Rick my pack? Front pocket, there's an envelope." As he talks I dig through the bag and fish out the envelope and pull out the pictures. They're not very good quality and they're in black and white, looking almost grey. "There's no way I could convince you to come with me just by talking about our community. That's why I brought those." I flip through the photos as he keeps talking. "I apologize in advance for the picture quality. We just found an old camera store last-."

"Nobody gives a shit." Merle interrupts rolling his eyes.

"That's the first picture I wanted to show you because nothing I say about our community will matter unless you know you'll be safe. If you join us, you will be. Each panel in that wall is a 15-foot-high, 12-foot-wide slab of solid steel framed by cold-rolled steel beams and square tubing.  
>Nothing alive or dead gets through that without our say-so. Like I said, security is obviously important. In fact, there's only one resource more critical to our community's survival. The people. Together we're strong." Alarms go off in my head. "You can make us even stronger." It sounded too well rehearsed and all too convenient. "The next picture, you'll see inside the gates. Our community was first construc-." He doesn't finish his sentence as my fist impacts him in the jaw. My head filled with anger. We were not going to be drawn into another trap like Terminus again. Not if I had anything to say about it.<p>

My hand hurt, my knuckles burned from the impact as Aaron fell to the side. Michonne stomps over to me as I shake my hand out at my side. "So we're clear, that look wasn't a _let's attack that man_ look. It was a _he seems like an okay guy to me_ look." I ignore her and bend down to where his pack dropped on the ground.

"We got to secure him. Dump his pack. Let's see what this guy really is." I say as I dump the bag out and Merle starts going through it.

"Rick." Michonne says at my side. I keep ignoring her.

"Everybody else, we need eyes in every direction." Daryl leaves Kelly in the corner with Carl and goes out the barn door. "They're coming for us. We might not know how or when, but they are." I say looking at everyone. The feeling in my gut told me something was off. I wasn't just going to sit around and let it happen to us again. We had all be through so much already.

"Me and Sasha, we didn't see him. If he had wanted to hurt us, he could've." Maggie says as Daryl comes back in.

"See anything?"

"Just a lot of places to hide." He says, still peering out the door.

"All right, keep looking." I look over at Merle who is holding something in his hand. "What did you find?"

"Never seen a gun like that before." He says holding it up. I take it as a groan sounds from beside me. Aaron groans as he speaks. "That's a hell of a right cross there, Rick."

"Sit him up." I say, looking up at Daryl as he rattles to door with his movements. Merle pulls Aaron up on his knees. The look on his face just adds to my anger.

"You're being cautious. I completely understand." His words were not helping his case.

"How many of your people are out there?" I demand as I wave the flare gun in his face. "You have a flare gun. You have it to signal your people?" he just stays silent, an odd smile on his face. "How many of them are there?"

He sighs, "Does it matter? I mean, of course, it matters how many people are actually out there, but does it matter how many people I tell you are out there? Because I'm pretty sure no matter what number I say eight, 32, zero No matter what I say, you're not going to trust me."

"Well, it's hard to trust anyone who smiles after getting punched in the face." I snarl at him.

"How about a guy who leaves bottles of water for you in the road?" I freeze at his words and I turn back to him, those bottles had just made everything worse for us. We couldn't trust them, it was a sick joke. But it was also days ago. My stomach sours.

"How long you people been following us?" I demand as I get in his face.

"Long enough to see that you practically ignore a pack of roamers on your trail. Long enough to see that despite a lack of food and water, you never turned on each other. You're survivors and you're people. Like I said, and I hope you won't punch me for saying it again, that is the most important resource in the world."


	24. Chapter Twenty Four: Give and Take

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

Thank You to my wonderful reviewers and readers!

**Author's Note at the end. Please read.**

* * *

><p>Chapter Twenty Four: Give and Take<p>

Kelly's PoV

The barn was silent and the air was thick with fear and tension. Daryl was standing close in front of me, my hands are locked around his arms and I'm looking between Rick and the stranger and I feel nervous and a little sick to my stomach. But I didn't know what the cause was. Rick kept questioning the man I felt my legs tremble at his words.

"If it's not words, if it's not pictures, what would it take to convince you that this is for real? What if I drove you to the community? All of you? We leave now, we'll get there by lunch."

Daryl turned and took me by the shoulders and led me away from the mess that was unfolding in the middle of the barn. "Hey, it's okay." He says pulling me into his arms. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know." I say pulling him closer to me. "I don't feel right. This doesn't feel right."

"What doesn't feel right?" He asks as he pulls away just enough to look down at me, his hands rubbing my shoulders.

"I don't know. I just—I can't tell if it's this guy or everything else. I just—I just feel off." I say trying not to cry again, but failing. I hadn't felt good since the day we lost Shayla, but I just felt worse now than I had before.

"Rick, if I wanted to ambush you, I'd do it here." The stranger's voice breaks against our moment and I tense at his words. Daryl just keeps holding me, but his eyes are glued on Rick. "You know, light the barn on fire while you slept, pick you off as you ran out the only exit. You can trust me."

"I'll check out the cars." Michonne says.

"There aren't any cars." Rick counters.

"There's only one way to find out." She says back.

"We don't need to find out." Rick sounds agitated, his voice harsh and demanding.

"We do. You know what you know and you're sure of it, but I'm not." Michonne says, ignoring Rick's voice. Just like she always did. Sometimes in the past the way she just ignored my brother's demands made me giggle. But now there wasn't much to giggle about. "Your way is dangerous, mine isn't. Passing up someplace where we can live? Where Judith can live? That's pretty dangerous. We need to find out what this is. We can handle ourselves. So that's what we're gonna do."

Just like that is was decided. Much to Rick's displeasure, but he didn't have a choice. "Abraham." He says, wanting him to go with them.

"Yeah. I'll walk with them." He nods, and he and Rosita follow Michonne and Maggie out the door. Most of the group breaks into smaller groups, but Daryl doesn't join them. Instead he stays with me. His body tense.

"If there's trouble, you got enough firepower?" He asks.

"We got what we got." Glenn says. "The walkies are out of juice."

"All right, find somewhere safe within eyeshot." He says and they all go out the door, leaving me, Daryl, Judith, and Rick with the man.

* * *

><p>Judith was lying in a pile of jackets and blankets. I was sitting against the side of the barn sipping at the water Daryl had given me, my shaking hands wrapped around the crunching plastic bottle. Daryl was looking out the door and Rick was pacing in front of Aaron. I guess the silence became too annoying for him because he started talking. With each word he said I saw Rick's annoyance spike to the max.<p>

"When the world was still the world, I worked for an NGO. Our mission was to deliver medicine and food to the Niger River Delta. Bad people pointed guns in my face every other week. You're not bad people. You're not going to kill us. And we are definitely not going to kill you."

"Just because we're good people doesn't mean we won't kill you." Rick spits back. His nerves were on edge and the longer everyone was gone the worse he was getting. "And is all of them aren't back in an hour I'll put a knife in the base of your skull."

A soft cry sounds from the pile of clothes Judith is on. I close my eyes and try to block the sound out. Hearing it hurts. She sounded like Shayla, only not. Shayla's cries were higher in pitch and more breathy. Rick quickly picks her up and shushes her. I pull my knees up and lay my head on them. The bottle of water forgotten at my side.

"You did see the jar of applesauce in my bag, right?" Aaron says. I open my eyes and look at him. Rick is ignoring him. "This isn't a trick. This isn't about trying to make you like me. It's self-preservation. Because if the roamers hear her and come this way, I know I'll be the first to go." A few more minutes of Rick trying to get some water in Judith and ignoring both her cries and Aaron's words become too hard and he caves. Balancing Judith in one hand and digging in the bag with the other. All the while shushing Judith, Aarons words baring a truth no one could deny with the walkers outside. Rick pulls out a jar and unscrews the jar, spooning some out and holding it out to Aaron. Distrust all over his face.

"You think I'm trying to poison your baby daughter? I'm tied up and you've already expressed a willingness to stab me in the head." Rick is still holding out the bite. "How would cruelly killing your daughter in front of you in any way help the situation?" Still nothing from Rick. "Maybe she doesn't die. Maybe she gets sick."

At his words I push myself to my feet and run out the door, pushing past Daryl and pulling my arm from his grip as I went by. I hear Daryl fast on my heels, his voice calling back to Rick saying he was going after me. I keep running, but with each step I just feel worse. My legs are shaking and I run until I fall against a tree and squeeze my eyes shut against the on slot of tears. Daryl's feet are loud and heavy on the ground as he rushed up behind me. "Kelly." He breathes heavily. I must have gone further than I though. "You can't just run off like that." He says as he lays a hand on my shoulder trying to pull me away from the tree.

"I'm sorry." I say. Still not moving or looking at him. "I just couldn't be in there anymore. I can't. Now with her crying—not with him saying those things-."

"Okay. I get it. But what you did was pretty damn stupid." He says angrily from behind me. I just shake my head and wipe my face. We stand in silence for several minutes. I slide down the tree and look up at him. "I don't think I can do this Daryl."

"Do what?"

"This." I say motioning around us. "It's too hard. No matter what happens with this damn Aaron guy—no matter if he was lying or not it won't matter in the end. It never does. Look at all we've had and lost." I press my hands against my eyes. "I know that you're hurting too. And I know that I can't let this—I don't know what to do anymore." I suck in a shaking breath and look away from his face. "We had it all Daryl. A family, a safe home, a beautiful daughter. It's all gone. All on the whim of a mad man or a stupid germ or a stupid accident. I can't do this anymore. I can't face that disappointment again Daryl."

"What are you sayin'?" He asks above me. His long hair pushed roughly beside his eyes, the sweat and grease making it look shiner than it was in the afternoon sun.

"I don't know." And I really didn't. All I had felt was lose and pain since we buried our daughter. And I thought that last night the talk I had with Daryl would have helped me think clearer. But today I was confused. Confused and everything seemed to hurt. I watched as he walked over to me and sat down beside me. "Tell me what you're feeling." I asked him as I reached over and took his hand.

"Feeling about what?"

"Everything. This guy's story, what we should do if it's true, our daughter."

"We lost her Kelly. What else is there to say?"

"I don't know. Should we talk about her? Not talk about her? Do we talk to the others? Just ourselves?"

We fall silent again as I rub my thumb up and down his rough hand and rub the dirt from his skin. The day was muggy from the storm and the fallen trees and ripped up leaves just seemed to match the mood. It was bleak and sad, with the sun taunting us with warmth and peace that couldn't push through the clouds. I slowly lay my head against his shoulder and his head falls on top of mine. We sit in the silence, side-by-side. Maybe we were thinking the same thing, or maybe something different. I close my eyes and breathe in the humid air and let it wash though my senses.

When my mom had died when I was little I had been sent to a grief counselor at request of the school who felt my dad and brother were not up to par with helping a little girl deal with the loss. I didn't think she helped much at the time, but looking back she really had. Time would make it all better. That was what she told me at the end of each session, even though I didn't have very many. She had also said not to isolate myself, to let my family help, let them see me cry. But she had also said there was a time to just sit back and reflect, to take stock of what I did have. Focusing on the loss would make healing harder.

Maybe I was pushing myself and Daryl too hard. It hadn't even been a week. Had this life taken away our ability to let anything human happen in our lives? All we had done for the past month was run and scavenge. We hadn't stopped to really deal with all we had lost. We had lost people, our home, our security. Yet, we hadn't had a chance to just morn over it.

"_We haven't had one minute to hold onto anything of our old selves. We need time to mourn and we need to bury our dead. It's what people do"_

That's what Lori had said after the attack on the camp at the start of this. Even then we didn't and we haven't any other time since. We were all worn down and tired. Maybe that's why the others were so determined to see Aaron's story be true. Why Michonne had been so adamant in seeing if his story was true. She had always been more insightful than she looked, always able to see more than the surface.

I open my eyes when Daryl turns his head and presses a kiss to my head. "I miss our daughter." He whispers to me. I lift my head and see tears in his eyes. I let go of his hand and wrap my arms around his, pulling his head to my chest. He wraps his hand around my middle and his body tenses as he cries. I hold him like he always held me. I know how hard it is for him to let me in like this, to really see his pain. The closest I had ever seen it was when Merle was hurt by The Governor. It had broken my heart then and it did now. But at the same time it warmed it too. If he was opening up to me that meant he didn't blame me, didn't hate me for letting her die.

* * *

><p>When we made our way back to the barn the rest of the group had made it back and apparently Aaron's story had checked out because of what Michonne was saying Rick, who did not look overly pleased at what he was hearing. "If he were lying or if he wanted to hurt us but he isn't, and he doesn't." she says to my brother, her voice was even but left almost no room for argument from my brother. "We need this. So we're going, all of us."<p>

Everyone else was with her and Rick didn't have a leg to stand on, so he just sighed and nodded his head, giving in to the group and what they wanted. I had Daryl's hand tight in mine and I squeezed it as Rick started demanding directions from the guy. Maggie came over to us and gave me a hug, tugging me away from Daryl who just stood there waiting. "We got back and you were gone." She pulls away, "Are you okay?" she asks, giving Daryl a hug too.

"We're fine. Just needed some air." I say giving her a small smile.

"His story checks out. It's all there like he said, his car and the RV. Maybe this place will be like he says too. A real home for us." She sound so full of hope that I just nod at her. I don't want my issues to spoil her mood. She was missing someone just like I was and she needed the hope. She squeezes my hands then goes over to Beth who was holding Judith who was awake and babbling away. I felt my heart twinge at the sound. Judith had only discovered cooing and gurgles, she never got to make the sounds that Judith was making.

After it was decided we were going to leave after dark we all settled down and try to get some more sleep. Rick didn't want us going up in the daylight in case the story didn't check out like the cars did. Some didn't like this decision, but Rick wasn't going to be over-ruled a second time. Daryl and I lay where we did last night and we face each other and my hand rubs absent circles and patters on his chest while he pretends to sleep. "I love you." I say as I kiss his chest before I snuggle against it. I smile when his chest rumbles as he speaks.

"I love you too."

All but Rick, Glenn, and Michonne climb into the RV. Abraham is driving and Daryl is sitting in the passenger seat. I woke up from my nap feeling worse than I had and I was laying down in the bed. There had been some aspirin in Aaron's bag and I was waiting for it to stop the pounding in my head. Maggie was sitting with me, she didn't like Glenn being away from her and I was a good distraction. She runs her hand over my forehead as the RV roars to life. "You don't have a fever, it's probably just a normal headache. We all get them."

"I think it's allergies. I've always had them. My nose is all dry too."

"I know you do. Your eyes were always red back on the farm. Maybe this place has allergy medicine.

"You're really excited about this place aren't you?"

"Yes. I know Rick was thinking DC, but there was no guarantee that there would anything there. At least we know there is something where we're going. Something to hope for is better than nothing. Do you think it'll be okay?"

"I don't know. Maybe if my head was on better I would be more hopeful or something, but I just see how anyplace can be what we're promised. Every place that promised something always ended badly. Even when we founded it and fixed it ourselves."

"You can't let that stop you from believing. Something good will happen, it always does. This mess sucks, but it gave me Glenn, gave me all of you guys."

"I think it's taken more than it's given."

"It gave you Daryl."

"And took my daughter."

"It took my father. We've all lost people Kelly. Sure, none of us have lost a baby and I can't imagine what that feels like. But I know you can't let it eat at you. You still have a chance to make life good again. And maybe this place is it. Maybe here you and Daryl can try again, have another baby and everything be okay." She leans over and gives me another hug and heads out the door, closing it behind her.

Her words hung in the air and I didn't know how to feel about them. Another baby? I knew I couldn't have another, even if this place was all it was promised and then some. I knew I couldn't go through that again. I didn't even want Shayla when she came along. She had been an accident and one that had scared me to death and turned my world upside down. And now she was gone and I was heartbroken. All the things I had wanted to see her do she never would. Her short life had been chaos. I wouldn't put another innocent baby through that. No matter what the future brought I would never have another baby.

* * *

><p>Our trip to Alexandria did not go off without a problem. Just like everything else in our lives walkers, injuries, and odd people had been put in our path. I thought Aaron was strange, but his boyfriend was a little stranger. He seemed cooler than Aaron, but very odd. Or maybe it was just because they were smiling and joking with each other. The past few weeks on the road for our group had been subdued and serious, there hadn't been room or patience for jokes and laughter.<p>

We hadn't said much the rest of the night we spent in the garage, but the following morning, when we all piled in the RV there was a weird surge of energy in the camper. Abraham had gotten a card game going and even people who were not playing were laughing and pocking fun at Eugene who seemed as clueless about the game now as he did five hands ago. Rick had let it slip a few hands ago that I was good at the game and I was roped into helping Eugene for this hand.

"So there's fourteen wild cards?" Tara asks as she looks at her hand. She had rotated in for Rosita and she looked confused too. "Are you serious?"

"Serious as two copulating dogs." He said with a smirk. At the end of this hand Eugene managed not to lose and at the constant nagging of my fellow travelers I took his place and Abraham and I ended up being locked in a heated battle as Rick and Aaron navigated the RV towards the destination.

Just as Aaron announces we were about five minutes from the gate I had beaten Abraham and the RV had fallen silent. Anticipation heavy in the small space. I looked out the windshield and my breath caught when I saw the high fence, the heavy gate at the road. Rick turned off the RV and we all just sat and stared at it for a while. Aaron got up and went to the bed where Eric lay and they got off the RV, motioning for us to follow. Rick slowly stands from the driver's seat and looks at all of us.

"You all ready?" its quiet for a little while, then a soft "yeah" comes from Michonne, followed by a few more yeses and yeahs. Rick nods and takes Judith from Carl and leads us off the RV.

The walls seem even bigger now. We all seem to go closer to each other, yet keeping our families closest. Beth was attached to Maggie who was holding Glenn's hand. Merle had wondered over by Daryl who was holding my hand and I was close to Carl who was behind Rick. Abraham was behind me and Rosita, Eugene, and Tara close by. We were all different families yet we were all one big family. And this was a huge step for us all. Rick looks back at us all one more time and lets out a sigh. "Should we go in?"

In all honesty, I didn't know if we should.

* * *

><p>Author's Note<p>

Okay, so my readership is way down, almost by half. While I realize that a lot of readers were angry about my decision to kill off Shayla please know that I did not do it on a whim. I thought long and hard about it and what to do after each scenario.

I have read fanfiction for many years now and I always hated when Author's would explain themselves and the choices made in their stories. But once again I find myself feeling the need to do just that.

I killed off Shayla to add realism. I have put Kelly and Daryl thought a lot of BS and the group has been through a lot of stuff. At the request of a lot of my readers I did not kill off Beth even though I didn't really care either way about her. So someone had to die to impact the characters like Beth's death did in the TV show. Shayla was that perfect person. She was innocent and defenseless. Her death will never make sense to anyone no matter what. This is a point I will explore more as the story goes on.

I'm sorry if any of the readers were upset or offended at the choice, but it has been made and it will not be undone.

I will explore more and more with the characters what loosing such a life is going to impact him. Sort of how Bob and Ty's death eats at Sasha.

Again, I did not kill her off lightly and it was a very hard choice to make.

Thank you for reading this.

Maxy93


	25. Chapter Twenty Five: Still Us

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**AHH! I'm back! Author's Note at the bottom!**

**PRETTY PLEASE REVIEW!**

* * *

><p>Chapter Twenty Five: Still Us<p>

The house they set us up in was huge, bigger than mine and Rick's had been before. The running water and lights felt like strange, new inventions instead of things what were once common place. I stayed close to Daryl the whole time so far, but I felt he wouldn't let me wonder too far from him even if I wanted too. His whole body was tense and ridged. I had refused to go to Deanna's office for the video interview as Rick had called it, and while Daryl was doing his it was the only time I was away from him. But his chat was not as long as Rick's had been. Soon he and I were standing in one of the three bathrooms that were in this house that we had been given. I sat on the toilet seat as just tried to relax as steam filled the small space as Daryl showered.

I didn't know how to feel about this place, I felt uneasy, but it could just be because we hadn't looked around, gotten to really know these people. In my mind all I can remember is Terminus and the blind faith we had in them that got us in a huge mess and almost got us all killed. What if this was Terminus with a thicker coat of paint? But what if this place was the real deal? I just didn't know what to think, and a part of me simply didn't want to think. I stand from the toilet and pull off the clothes one by one, cringing at the aches that shot across my skin and cringing at the stretch marks and pudge that were leftovers from my pregnancy. I slowly gripped the white shower curtain and pulled it back just enough for me to step up beside Daryl in the shower.

He turns quickly, a little surprised at my action, but he opens his arms and wraps me up and holds me under the hot spray. It had been so long since I had showered in hot water, honest to goodness hot water. The steam was thick and hung in the air, the shampoo that had been left in the shelf smelled of lavender and it clung to Daryl's hair and skin. He felt hot and firm. He pulls back and turns me so my back is to him. I close my eyes as I hear the lid to the shampoo pop open and soon his hands are rubbing against my scalp. I suck in a breath as he works at my hair, rubbing the roots and running his hands all the way down to all my split ends. I tilt my head forward as his hands move past my shoulders as his fingers coat the strands. Then one hand disappears and the shower spray shifts until the water falls hot over my head, washing away the suds, but his hands keep rubbing, pushing the soap from my hair with the water. Then he washes my back, shoulders, neck, all in the same way, slow and careful. Like we were testing the waters again, but we both knew nothing more would happen. I knew it when I turned to wash him and I looked into his eyes.

We were not ready for that yet, we still had so much to work through, so much to figure out. We had turned yet another page in our whirlwind relationship and neither of us knew what to do now. So we did what we always did when things got tough. We closed our mouths and just held to each other.

As the water cooled and the steam disappeared we finally got out of the shower. I had dug out our cleanest clothes to put on. His least ripped jeans, least stained shirt, cleanest boxers and socks. His hair was dripping and I took the towel and rubbed at his head like I had my dog after his bath. It went from greasy to feathery, soft and uneven. His ends as split and damaged as mine. We were soon dressed and ready to pass the bathroom on to someone else. Before we left the bathroom Daryl bent down and kissed me. His lips always seemed chapped and cracked, his breath not the best either, but it still made me feel warm inside and I always returned his kisses. This place was new, he was familiar.

We joined most of our group in the living room area of the house, Rick had shaved his beard off and was looking more like my brother, while Maggie, Glen, Merle, and Sasha were in the bathrooms upstairs and Carl was bathing Judith in the kitchen sink, the rest of the group were sitting in various places, all looking out windows or going through shelves. The silence was thick, everyone was lost in their own thoughts. I take Daryl's hand and pull him out the door. There was a swing on the other house we had been offered. I just wanted to sit outside, relax in the cool air.

I curled up beside Daryl as his long legs rocked us back and forth. "What do you think of this place?" he asks, his voice always gruff sounding.

"Too early to tell I guess. We'll know soon enough."

"Deanna is giving out jobs."

"What?" I ask, looking out at the other houses, there was a couple sitting on a porch a few houses down.

"Yea, heard Glen say something about it as we left. You know she's gonna want to meet with you."

"I know. And I will, I just- I didn't want to right away. I can barely deal with my feelings when I'm not being interviewed by some crazy chick with a camcorder."

"She doesn't seem too bad."

"Not yet." I say, then I sigh. "I don't know Daryl, I don't know what's wrong with me, why I'm just sitting on pins and needles waiting for the bottom to fall out of this mess."

"We can't go on blind faith, so until we are proven wrong, there is nothing wrong with being weary."

We fall into silence and I close my eyes, my head resting on Daryl's shoulder. His rocking continues, back and forth, over and over again. He bounces his shoulder a little, keeping me from falling asleep. "Hey, let's go back before you fall asleep." I nod and swing my legs back to the floor and I take his hand as we walk back to the house we were all gathered in.

We set up our nest by the dining room window, I lay my head on Daryl's leg since he was sitting up looking outside. He felt tense, something about his words from before not matching up to his body language. I don't think he was as gung-ho about this place as Michonne or Maggie. He rubs his hand through my hair, relaxing me as he always did. I close my eyes and just relax.

* * *

><p>Daryl's PoV<p>

I could always tell when she fell asleep, her body always give a tiny jerk and she's out. Maybe she'd stay asleep tonight. The past several nights she had woken up several times throughout the night, jerking me from my slumber too. I was keeping my fingers crossed that her sleep troubles would stay to just jerking awake. I prayed the nightmares would stay away from her. But I had a feeling they wouldn't. We had just been on the run too much since Shayla for her mind to really catch up body. I wasn't looking forward to them again. Her cries and screams seemed to burn more and more.

I laid my head back against the cool glass and closed my eyes and wondered what would happen when my brain caught up with my body. Every time I had slowed down, even if it was just for a little while I felt something tight in my chest, when I heard Judith give little cries I always seemed to look towards Kelly instead of whoever had Judith, thinking I would see Shayla there, laying in Kelly's arms. But all I saw was Kelly, arms and eyes empty. She had laughed a few times, but nothing like before. I wondered if we would ever get to like we were before. I felt we were close upstairs in the shower, but she pulled away. And I let her. This was up to her, what happened between us. She would try to leave it in my hands, but I was going to leave it in hers.

Her head shifts on my lap and she rolls her body from her left to right side. Her hair tickling my arm and drawing my eyes to her face. Shifting was always a part of her nightmares, but I could just be worrying myself for no reason. I felt on the edge every night since, waiting for her to cry out. I think Rick was too, as his eyes were constantly looking over here at us. A knock on the door quickly draws him to his feet. His hand tense at his side, he very slowly opened the door. "Rick, I just wanted to stop by and see how you were all settling." Deanna says as walks in the house, she looks around the room, her face a little surprised. "Oh, my. Staying together. Smart."

"No one said we couldn't." Rick says back, and a part of me almost wants to see this woman try and tell Rick different.

"You said you're a family. That's what you said." She looks around at us all again, she smile as she sees Carl with Judith. "Absolutely amazing to me how people with completely different backgrounds and nothing in common can become that. Don't you think?"

"Everybody said you gave them jobs." Rick says, ignoring her comment. If only she knew what it had taken for us to be like this. All we had been through. She wouldn't think it was that amazing.

"Yeah. Part of this place."

"Well, you didn't give me one."

"I have. I just haven't told you yet. Same with Michonne. I'm closing in on something for Sasha. Kelly will get one as soon as we meet, and I'm just trying to figure Mr. Dixon out." She looks over at us, I just ignore her and look out the window. Good luck. "But I will." She turns back to Rick, "You look good."

"If this is how you're saying it is then this is what we wanted. We're ready for this."

"All of you?"

"All of us."

* * *

><p>I was up before most of our group. Kelly had stayed asleep the whole night and for that I was very grateful, maybe we could get through this without losing sleep. But I wasn't too hopeful. I pushed up from the floor, covering Kelly back up with the blanket and walk outside where Rick was walking around with Judith. "Morning." I say as I sit on the rail on the porch.<p>

"Morning. You're up early."

"Couldn't sleep. What's going on out here?"

"Not much, most people still sleeping. It's about half past six, not surprised. I probably would still be asleep if this one hadn't decided to mess herself." Rick says giving Judith a small bounce. I look at the baby and feel my chest tighten. Then it was followed by guilt. It wasn't ass-kickers fault, I couldn't ignore the kid because of losing Shayla. I stand up and try to let Rick know I wanted to hold her. "You sure?" he asks, looking at my hands and my face.

"Yeah." And soon my arms are filled with the tiny weight that is Judith, her chubby legs kick and her arms wiggle at the change of position, new arms holding her, arms that weren't her father's. "Hey ass-kicker, it's been a while." I mumble as I adjust her to where I can see her face. She has gotten more hair than I remember, a lot bigger.

"How are you doing Daryl? Really? Not what you tell my sister or show the group. Losing a child-I can only imagine-."

"I'm okay. It's Kelly that feels like the time bomb."

"In my old life I saw this, the mom gets all the attention, the focus. The dad slips through the cracks, downed in their own feelings they felt they couldn't express. We need you Daryl, especially now. So you have to deal with it. However you need to. Check out some guns and kill every walker you find if it will help. But don't bottle it up. Not now."

I look down at Judith as Rick's words fall on my ears. I didn't know how to tell him what was going on in my head, because I didn't know it myself. But somehow, standing here on the porch with one of the better men I had ever met in my life, holding a baby that was just as precious to me as my own daughter had been. Somehow I felt a little better than I had before. Life was still going to continue. There was still good here, within our group. I wasn't too sure about this place, wasn't sure if I wanted to be here or not, but I wanted to stay with this group, with this family. Because here was the only place I could heal.

* * *

><p>Kelly's PoV<p>

Rick wanted us to explore, but I went to Deanna's to get our meeting over with. Daryl walked me to the building and offered to stay with me, but I said I would be fine, I didn't know if I would, but I had to try. I was a grown up after all. And everybody else did it without help, I would be fine. He give my hand a squeeze and sits on the steps as I go inside. "Hello?"

"Kelly Grimes. It is good to finally meet you. I'm Deanna Monroe." She holds out her hand and I shake it, trying to show calmer than I felt. "I would like to ask you some questions, document this if you don't mind."

"I knew someone who felt all this needed to be documented."

"Sounds like a smart man."

"He worked with a monster who killed him so he would kill another person. His documentation didn't do much for him in the end." I say as I run my fingers across the mantel of her fireplace that was covered in pictures.

"One of the monsters your brother warned me about when I talked to him?"

"Probably. Met a lot of them out there, and not just the obvious ones."

"Why don't you sit down?" She says as she sits in a chair by a camera. I sit on the couch and cross my legs, my hands grouping for the necklace that no longer rested there, it had been lost somewhere along the way. "What did you do before this?"

"Teacher, 5th grade."

"How long have you been out there? Since the beginning as well?"

"Sorta, spent the first few weeks held up in a hospital, then a camp outside Atlanta, then it's a long trip of various stops and starts."

"Tell me about Daryl. From what I've gathered you are together, but not married?"

"We're not married, we didn't see much reason to be."

"Glen and Maggie said they got married while you were living in a prison. Were you and Daryl together then?"

"Why does this matter? I thought you wanted to talk about life out there?"

"I do, and Daryl is part of your life out there. I'm interested in how it was out there, but I'm also interested in how you all survived it. What happened that took you from a 5th grade teacher to the woman sitting in front of me now."

"You want to know what it took." I say, my annoyance snapping faster and sharper than I expected. "It took blood, it took death, it took having happiness and stability being ripped from you on the whim of mindless animals or ruthless dictators or cold liars. I've been shot, held hostage, trapped, lost, alone, hungry, scared, and any other thing you can possibly think of. And each time I think we've finally gotten a place that's safe, where I can finally stop and breathe, it's always taken, always. So if want to know what it takes then you're sick." I stood up and stormed out the door. I stomped down the hallway and out the door, I didn't even stop for Daryl, just walked past him.

He catches up with me, asking me what happened.

"Her stupid questions. God, why does it freaking matter? I'm the last one of use she's talked to so she already knows the story."

"Hey, slow down." He says as he grabs my arm. I rip it away.

"I don't want to slow down, I want to get out of the damn street." I continue my tromp towards what I thought were our houses, but I ended up down a completely different road. I stop a look around me, realizing I had no idea where I was. "Goddamit!" I yell as I toss my hands up.

"You lost?" a rough voice calls out, I turn and see a man sitting on a chair on a porch. He had dirty blonde hair and some facial scruff.

"Yea. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." I say as I cross my arms, annoyed at myself for brushing Daryl off and leaving him behind. The man stands up from his chair and walks towards me, holding out his hand.

"I'm Pete, you may have seen my wife around. She cut Rick's hair."

"That was her? Well she did a good job, last time I cut it, it looked like I chased him around with a weed Wacker. Think she'd cut someone else's for me?"

"Sure she would. Was one of the many things she did before. I can either walk you there or tell you how to get there."

"Which ever one is easier. If I have good directions I can make it."

"I'll walk you, but I would like your name."

"I'm Kelly." I say as he walks back the way I came, I turn and follow."

"So what did you do before this?"

"I was a teacher."

"Is that what you're gonna do here?"

"I don't know."

"Didn't Deanna give you a job?" at his question I look down at me feet.

"No, I kinda lost my temper, stormed out before she could give me one. Besides, I don't want to teach again. Tried that at another place we lived. I just don't have the desire for that anymore."

"I was a surgeon, not my first choice. I went to Art School, that's where I met my wife. But babies came and bills had to be paid. And surgeon pays more than painter."

"I'm sorry. I never had to face that. I always wanted to be a teacher and I was single almost my whole life. Never really settled down until after the world ended."

"So not single now then?"

"No, the tall scruffy guy with long brown hair and a weird walk you've seen sitting on our porch?"

"Black leather vest?"

"That's him. Daryl. "

"How long?"

"I'm not sure, probably a few years by now. We've had three winters together so…there ya go."

"At least not everything is lost."

"You should take up painting again. Doesn't seem like there is constant need for a surgeon here, you could do it in your down time. Surly paint can be picked up on a run?"

"Maybe." He says as we walk up to the familiar house, Daryl was sitting on the front porch, he stands up at our approach. "Hi, just walking your lady home. She went down the wrong street." Pete holds out his hand. "I'm Pete Anderson."

"Daryl." He shakes Pete's hand and then we fall into silence.

"Okay," I say, breaking the tension. "Thanks for walking me home Pete. It was nice to meet you." I say shaking his hand again, then smiling at Daryl and going inside the house. Daryl quickly follow me inside.

"Who was that?" he asks as I get myself a drink of water, still not used to running, no-boil needed, tap water.

"Pete, weren't you listening? He's a surgeon."

"And you met him how?"

"Again I ask, weren't you listening. After I stormed away from you I got lost and he walked me back."

"And just why did you storm off?" he asks, his arms crossed as he leans against the door frame between the kitchen and living room. I sigh and set my glass down.

"I over reacted to one of Deanna's questions. I shouldn't have gone off on her like I did."

"What did she ask you?"

"How we all came to be so close, questions about us, stupid stuff."

"I see. Stupid stuff." He says as he pushes off the wall and goes and drops down on the couch.

"Really? You're gonna get pissy over a stupid choice of words?" I ask coming to stand behind the couch. "I wasn't saying we were stupid stuff, I was saying her questions-."

"Were about stupid stuff."

"Do not put words in my mouth Daryl. Don't you dare. That's not what I meant at all. All I meant was that it's not her business. And what does it matter anyway?"

"You're right. What does it matter?" He says as he stands up and looks at me. He's pissed and I can tell he's very close to walking away from me like he does when we fight. But the question is what were we even fighting about?"

"Will you please tell me what you're pissed about?"

"We don't know this place Kelly. And you just went storming off to god knows where without me and you don't expect me to be upset?"

"We're inside a fortress Daryl. What did you think was going to happen?"

"I told you a long time ago that you weren't going anywhere without me. And over the past few months you've been away from me more than I ever want." He walks around the couch and takes me hands. "Kelly, every time you storm away from me, I lose you, I can't go through that again. I can't risk anything happening to you again. The farm, the prison, Terminus, the hospital, we were separated and then they all ended with us on the road again. When this place goes down, you have to be by me."

"Daryl." I say as I wrap my arms around him, his words so sad and heartfelt that I have no idea how to even properly respond to them. So I just held him, wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. "I love you. And I'm sorry." I pull back a little and press my lips to his. It's sweet and yet sad. Like he was feeling embarrassed or ashamed of his speech. Even though it made my heart feel lighter.

I grab his hand and lead him to where I bag was resting, then I gently tug him up the stairs.

Even after all we had been through, all we had lost and said to each other, he still loved me, he still wanted me, we were still us.

* * *

><p>NOTE:<p>

Hi everybody! First I want to say I'm so sorry for the hiatus I put this story on. I just lost the motivation and the desire to really continue writing, so I took a break and while I was breaking I stopped watch Walking Dead and discovered another TV show that stole all my Walking Dead mojo.

However, I am back and I am ready to finish this story up. I plan on making this as long as Nothing Ever Lasts, but my plans almost never go like they are supposed too. So all I can say is this story may be a short as just a few more chapters or as long as the other story. It's all up in the air right now.

Second, I want to thank you all for your patience. I even picked up more follows and favorites during my break. I hope I don't lose too many people and that you all like this chapter!

As always please review! especially this one as it's my first chapter in several months.

Thanks again,

Maxy93


	26. Chapter Twenty Six: Always an Angle

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my subscribers and favorites and a special thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are awesome!**

**PRETTY PLEASE REVIEW!**

* * *

><p>Chapter Twenty Six: Always an Angle<p>

Daryl and I stayed upstairs tangled up together. Rick had come looking a little bit ago, but the red sock I had stuck on the door after your first round sent him back down the stairs shouting a warning to the rest. Glenn and Maggie had done roughly the same thing the first night we were here, and I was expecting the same catcalls and snickers as they got when Daryl and I would eventually come down. But it was all in good fun so it wasn't going to be as terrible as it probably sounded.

But for now, I was content. Wrapped up in Daryl's arms and the silence that for the first time since Shayla had passed didn't feel tense, like a bomb would explode if anyone breathed too loud. There was still something hanging over us, but it was just so unimportant and the moment that as I rolled my eyes over Daryl's body all I could think was how grateful to have him in my life.

He had a few new scars I was running my hands over, he was a little thinner than he should be, but that could probably be said for all of us except Eugene who I think was just genetically engineered to be adorable plump. (Even if he was a little creepy.) His hair was long and scruffy, but when I brought up cutting it he told me no, and then said I couldn't cut mine either, echoing something he had told me long ago when we were curled up on a landing of some random house we had been camping out in during the winter after we lost the farm.

"I'm sorry I got mad earlier." I said as I trace circles on his bare chest. It felt like such a long time since we had just laid together, and it was always a good time to talk out our problems, both of us too tired and sated to try and raise our voices so we always just talked. "I just…I don't know, I don't like questions about us, even if they're harmless. I don't like even thinking about explain what we all went through. There's reasons we're all so close and they are not pretty ones. I don't want to talk about Carl getting shot, losing Shane, Dale, T-Dog, Hershel, the Governor, what happened with the prison, all of that. I don't want to think about it." I sigh and look up at Daryl's face. "And Shayla. I'm just not ready to share her with strangers. She was ours Daryl, ours. And we didn't even get to experience any of the milestones with her. Yet here is this random woman wanting to know details." I look back down at his chest. "I just can't Daryl. Not yet."

"I didn't tell her about Shayla. Didn't tell her much of anything really. Besides, I found out Merle didn't speak to her either so you're not the only one of us who hasn't given her a chance."

"A few nights ago I was talking with Maggie and she brought up you and I having another baby." I say timidly. I squeeze my eyes shut as Daryl tenses up under me, his hand freezing on my back where he was once rubbing up and down as we spoke. "I'm not saying now, I'm not even saying ever. But what do you think? Think we should try again? Next time we feel safe enough for one."

He carefully pushes me off of him as he sits up. He stays on the bed, he's just sitting against the headboard and his face is pointed and his eyes seem to be searching mine. "Do you want another baby?" he asks slowly, his voice on the guarded side, and I knew in that moment that he wanted to have another. And that realization sent a little flutter of fear through my chest.

"I don't know. But ever since Maggie said something about it….I know how much you wanted Shayla, how much it hurt you when she…." I cut my words short and swallowed down the lump in my throat. "If I told you I didn't want another one, that I just don't think I can handle any of that again, would you still stay with me?" as much as I want too I don't look away, I keep my eyes locked on Daryl's, almost dreading what I would find there. "Would you still want me knowing you may not have another child?"

He was very quiet for a few seconds, his eyes moving a little in his head, but his eyes never left mine either. I was holding my breath and I almost jumped when he wrapped his hand around mine. "I do want another one, Kelly. I do and I don't see a reason to lie about that, not to you." I felt something grip my heart, was it over? "But I want you more. I told you that at the prison when you were expecting Shayla, and that hasn't changed. Do you still question what you mean to me? After everything we've been through you think I could leave you for anything? I love you."

I can't stop myself as I basically toss myself at him. He wraps his arms tight around me and I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him as close as I can. A felt like a weight was lifted from me and I knew that we would be okay. It wasn't my just thinking it. I knew it.

He kissed the side of my face and I raised my head so my lips were by his ear. "I'll think about it."

* * *

><p>The morning broke and we had to get up and go down the stairs and face the music. Merle had the dirtiest smirk on his face, Rick looked uncomfortable and Carl left the room. I grabbed a muffing that Maggie said some lady had dropped off that morning. Soon, Glenn, Tara, Noah, and Merle were going out on a run. That was their job apparently. Rick, Michonne, Daryl, and I didn't have one yet. Maggie was doing something with Deanna and Gabriel was back to church work, and I wasn't sure what the rest were doing, but I had been a little busy. Daryl decided he was going to go with Merle to the weapons to do something with his bow and I went to the porch and sat on the steps. Soon I was joined by Rick who handed me a mug of coffee.<p>

"Is that what I think it is?" I ask as I take a sip from the cup. A smile spreading across my lips as the coffee, a bit more bitter than I was used to, washed over my tongue. We had had coffee at the prison, but it had been too hot most of the time we were there and I was expecting the rest so there was no coffee for me.

"Yep, I put it on the list. We apparently get weekly rations of our choosing."

"Exciting." I say as I wrap my arm around my brother's arm. "So, what do you think of this place?"

"Too early to tell Kel. Give it a few days."

"At least we're not being herded into a train car."

"Always a good sign." He chuckles a little, it was something I hadn't heard from him a while.

"I forgot how good you looked. That beard made you look much older than you are."

"I forgot how I looked too. Lori would never have let my face get that out of control. She hated when I had just a bit of stubble."

"I'm sorry I let it get so bad. Yours and Daryl's. Maggie was on top of Glenn, kept him looking like a groomed shaggy mutt." It felt good to laugh a joke with my brother again. But I knew my brother, I knew that he was not the type to just sit and chat anymore, he was here for something. "So, what did you want to see me about?"

"How do you know I wanted to see you? Can't I just sit and talk with my baby sister?" I just give him a look and take another drink of my coffee. "Okay. Deanna told me about you running out on your interview with her."

"Did she now." I respond nonchalantly.

"You want to tell me why?"

"I over reacted. Her questions just grated on me and I….I didn't handle it well."

"Are you gonna try again?"

"Do you think I should?"

"I think that's up to you."

"What do you think of this place? I know you said it was early, but I need to know what's in your gut Rick."

"That they're living on borrowed time. And it might be an extremely long piece of borrowed time, but sooner or later, this place, these people, their inability to really grasp what it's like out there."

"So you think this place is gonna fall?"

"Not if we step up and help out."

I look over at him and look at his newly shaven face, his combed hair and clean clothes, but something about his voice and his tone don't match up. Almost as if what he was saying had an underlying angle to it. But I had no way to tell, and it was possible I was just looking for conflict where they was none. Looking for some reason to not have to worry about what I had promised Daryl. Because even though I told him I'd think about it, and I did mean it, I was still a little nervous, wondering if I could go through that again. "Why so interested in this place? Last I talked to you about this you didn't really care."

"Daryl and I, we're thinking about….or I am….maybe…..on trying again."

"Really?" he asks, looking at me, his face crossing between a smile and straight. Almost as if he wanted me to try again.

"Just thinking. I haven't decided either way. Daryl wants to, no surprise there though. But I can't even think about it until we're somewhere safe."

We sit on the porch for a few more minutes in silence until Rick wraps an arm around my shoulder, giving me a quick hug before he stands up. "When Daryl gets back, tell him to meet me at the gate."

"Why?"

"Gotta talk long term with him, you know where Abraham and Merle are?"

"I think Abrahams at the armory or by the trucks and Merle is supposed to be on the runs crew."

"If you think you can finish the interview, I think it' a good idea."

* * *

><p>I walk to Deanna's house, and very timidly knock on the door. A few seconds later she opens the door. "Kelly? What can I do for you?"<p>

"I wanted to apologize, for yesterday. I didn't mean to go off like that. I don't think I'm ready to sit down and hash it all out yet. But I can tell you I'm sorry and let you know that I'm going to try and get to a point where I can." I open and close my fists at my sides and try not to show how nervous I was.

"I understand. It was never my intention to make you feel like you had to justify yourself or tell me everything. I just wanted to know about you and your group, where you all came from, and how you came to be a family. I have ideas and pieces from the others. And when you're ready, I hope you can give me another piece of that puzzle when you're ready." She says holding out her hand. I give her a small smile and shake her hand back.

I walk back down the street to where the infirmary was, I needed to talk to a professional about what I could do for both me and my mental stability if I was going to seriously consider having another baby. I walk up the steps and pulled the door open. "Hello?" I called out. A few seconds later Pete comes out from the back.

"Kelly, what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to someone who has some medical know-how."

"Ah, so here on business." He sits down at a table that was in the middle of the room, motioning for me to sit across from him. "What can I help you with?"

I tell Pete about Shayla, about how we lost her and all I knew. I told him about my pregnancy, the blood pressure problems I had had during it, and then I told him what I was thinking about. "So, I guess what I'm trying to figure out is if it's even safe for me to have another baby. Was it something genetic that…."

"I don't think so. I can't tell you of certain what happened to your daughter. But I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you."

"As for you having another baby. If you are serious about this, it would be a good idea for you to have a checkup. Everyone in your group really, I told your brother that last night. But I see no reason why you and Daryl should not be able to have another child. From the sounds of it, part of what happened out there was just lack of proper care. No shots, lots of exposure and instability. There are several reasons that could be part of why you lost your daughter. So my advice is to think this over, which is what you said you would do, and then get back to me when you've made up your mind."

"Okay." I say as I stand up, I extend my hand. "Thank you."

"Anytime." He says shaking my hand. He has a very sweet smile on his face.

More of the day had passed than I thought between my talks with Rick and Deanna and getting advice from Pete. The sun was low in the sky, but not quiet dusk yet, probably very late afternoon, maybe around 3ish. I needed a watch. The infirmary was close to the main gate, I saw it open and I saw Glenn and the crew walking through the gate. But I saw Glenn's expression and I knew something was wrong. "You three need new gigs." I heard one of the Alexandria natives say as he walks in behind Glenn. "You're not ready for runs yet." I almost laugh at his words. Glenn had been doing runs from the beginning, he knew everything about runs. He was the best.

"Yeah, pretty sure you got that backwards." Glenn keeps walking, but the other man, who I did not know, hadn't seen before, had the nerve to grab Glenn by the arm and start giving him the riot act.

"Look, we got a way of doing things around here-."

"You tied up walkers." Glenn counters, and around this time a few people, some from our group, others from the town started gathering around. I walked very fast to where the crowd was, ready to step in if needed. Glenn was a good friend and he wasn't going to be bullied by this child.

"It killed our friend. Look, I'm not having this conversation. You obey my orders out there."

"Then we're just as screwed as your last run crew."

Silence falls between Glenn and the other man. Daryl comes up beside me, his whole demeanor different than it was this morning, a part of me wondered what had happened since, but my attention was drawn back to Glenn.

"Say that again." The man says, getting very close to Glenn, but Glenn just stood still, cold and calm.

"No, back off, Aiden." Tara says before the man pushes Glenn back a little. Daryl takes a step forward, but doesn't move to break it up. He knows Glenn can take care of himself.

"No one's impressed, man." Glenn says after getting pushed back a few more times. Sometimes his patience for dealing with bullshit amazed me. He had always been so good at it. Even back when I first met him. "Walk away."

"Aiden!" Suddenly Deanna pops out of nowhere. "What is going on?"

"This guy's got a problem with the way we do things." Then the guy, Aiden as I was gathering, looked at her. "Why did you let these people in?"

"Because we actually know what we're doing out there."

Aiden turns and soon fists start flying. Glenn knocks Aiden on his face and when the other guy who was on the run tries to interfere suddenly Daryl has him on the ground, and soon Rick and Carl show up and Rick is on Daryl, doing what he can to get him off the other man on the ground. All the while Deanna is yelling enough over and over, I find it almost laughable that she thinks simply shouting at Daryl would get him to stop. She had no idea who he was. Soon Merle pops up behind me and stands beside me, waiting for some sign from Rick that he needed to intervene

The kids Glenn knocked down is back on his feet, but is stilled when Michonne get in his face, asking if he wanted to be back on his ass. I have eyes glued on Rick and Daryl, who is still choking the other guy, but Rick must have given up talking because he rips Daryl off of him. Rick plants himself between Daryl and the still nameless guy, Daryl almost pacing before Merle grabs him and pulls him back even further. I see Maggie now, holding to Glenn's arms. But we all knew Glenn wasn't the problem in this, he was calm. It was Daryl that was volatile.

I grab Daryl's arm and try to calm his steps, but he just brushes me off. Soon Deanna starts talking, rather loudly so that everyone who was involved in the confrontation, and the gathered crowd could hear her. "I want everyone to hear me, okay? Rick and his people are part of this community now in all ways as equals. Understood?" she says, turning to look at Aiden.

"Understood." Aiden says.

"All of you, turn in your weapons." She points at Aiden and the other kid, "Then you two come talk to me." they head off and the crowds disperse, leaving just us and Deanna in front of the now closed gate. "I told you I had a job for you. I'd like you to be our constable. That's what you were. That's what you are." She looks at Michonne, "and you, too. Will you accept?"

"Okay." Rick says after a while, and Michonne also agrees. But at this Daryl's temper seems to snap and he rips his bow from Merle's hand and storms off down the street. I stand and look between Rick and Daryl's back before I take off after him. I catch up with him, but he just keeps going.

"Daryl stop." I say, but he ignores me. "Hey." I say grabbing his arm and pulling him to a stop, or its more of he let me stop him. He could have very easily brushed me off and kept going. "Talk to me. What's wrong? You were fine this morning."

"Well it aint morning."

"What happened?" I say crossing my arms. We were in the middle of the road, just a few blocks from where the fight had happened, everyone else was still standing down there.

"Nothing. Just feeling cooped up. I'm gonna go hunt, be back." He turns and walks away again. I sigh and watch him leave. Something was up.

Rick had wanted to see Daryl, Merle, and Abraham and now all four of them had come in from the gate behind the run crew and Daryl was now in a funk. His temper was bubbling and he was tense again. All my bad vibes I was getting from Rick this morning combined with what just happened had my heckles up. Something was going on, something that involved my brother.

* * *

><p>Night falls and I was waiting on the porch for Daryl to come back. I had tried talking to Merle and Abraham about what Rick had wanted with them today, but neither was budging. They weren't going to tell me what was happening and I knew Daryl wouldn't either. Has much as he loved me he had a loyalty to Rick now, something that had to run deeper than just love. Rick is the one that kept us together and organized, and Daryl was basically Rick's right hand so there had to be trust between them. Trust I wouldn't risk getting between.<p>

So I sat and waited, what felt like a few hours of just sitting and waiting he finally showed up. He walked up to where I was and sat down beside me. "Feel better?" I ask after a few minutes.

"Yea. I needed that."

"I know. It's where you go to work off stress. But I want you to know I'm here too. And if you need to talk. About anything." We fall back into a silence. It wasn't tense per say, but something was eating at Daryl and I wish I knew what it was.

Footsteps on the porch and I turn and see Rick, all dressed up in his new cop outfit. "We good?" He asks Daryl.

"Yeah. You a cop again?"

"I'm trying it on for size."

"So we're staying?" I ask, looking back at him, feeling a little excited.

"I think we can start sleeping in our own homes. Settle in."

"What about what you said earlier today?" Merle asks, coming out of the house too.

"It's not gonna happen. We won't get weak. That's not in us anymore. We'll make it work. And if they can't make it then we'll just take this place."

* * *

><p><strong>Next Chapter: <strong>Gonna do some more with Pete, Kelly's gonna meet Jessie, and Deanna's party! Basically its all about to pick up!


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven: Resetting the Stag

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

**Thank You to all my subscribers and favorites and a special thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are awesome!**

**PRETTY PLEASE REVIEW!**

* * *

><p>Chapter Twenty Seven: Resetting the Stage<p>

For the first time in a while we all said good night and we split up, it was me, Daryl, Rick, Carl, Judith, Merle, Gabriel, and Sasha in one house, and the rest in the other. It was strange, saying good night to them and watching them walk away. But Rick said it was fine, and Maggie seemed over joyed at the thought of not sleeping in the living room anymore. Merle had claimed the room closest to the bathroom and I had a feeling we would all be fighting with him over it considering how long he liked to take.

But as I lay curled up in bed next to Daryl, Rick's words stayed in my head and I really hoped that it didn't come to that. I didn't want Rick to step into Governor Territory. Taking a place by force or underhanded was what Brian did, not my brother. I let out a sigh and rolled over, putting my back to Daryl, he wasn't snoring so either he wasn't sleeping either or he was just drifting off. I didn't want him to ask me anything, I didn't want to talk. Even though I kinda wanted to know what had him on edge since his talk with my brother. But now was not the time to inquire. Instead, we lay in the dark, neither of us sleeping, seeming just to touch out of habit instead on desire. But I knew that if I put space between us it would take longer to figure out what was wrong.

It was a long night, one of the strangest in a long time. We were safe, and yet there was an underlying sense of dread, almost like we were all holding our breaths waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maggie and Michonne wanted this place to be the answer so bad, Merle and Abraham just seemed to be along for the ride, almost as if whatever happens, happens and they would be happier either way.

I shift again, trying not to make bed bounce too much, my shifting was never a problem before, the beds at the prison were thin and we each had our own mattress, this was the first real bed we had ever really shared, not counting the few and far between when we were on the road between stops.

"Stop moving." Daryl slowly says from beside me. His voice low and gravely.

"Sorry." I whisper. Going totally still, even though I was a little uncomfortable with how I ended up.

"You wanna tell me what has you bouncing around all over the damn place?"

"Only if you tell me what's got you so upset."

"I'm not upset."

"Liar. You've been off since you had that talk with Rick. Does this have something to do with his big plan to take over?"

"It's nothing. Get some sleep." He says as he rolls over, putting his back to me and breaking our touch. I roll back to face the opposite wall and wrap my arms around my pillow and force my eyes closed. It was only the first night of us really being a part of this place, and something was already brewing under the surface, not just with Daryl and me, but with our whole group. So many different hopes and wants within our group about this place. And while Rick had dropped his dictator-like rule back at the prison, what he said still went, what he said was what we would do.

* * *

><p>Somehow I managed to fall asleep, and by the time I woke up Daryl was gone, and so were most of our group. I walked down the steps and found Merle sitting at the island in the kitchen, playing with the sink, turning the water on and off, over and over. "Having fun?" I ask after I watch him for a few minutes. He doesn't stop playing with the knob as he answers.<p>

"It's amazing how easy this is, how easy it all used to be." He turns the water off and looks up at me. I walk over to him and sit beside him, grabbing a muffin that wasn't here last night. "Some woman dropped them off." He says at my questioning look.

"Where is everybody?"

"Off doing random shit. Daryl is in the woods, hunting again."

"What about Rick?"

"Off rediscovering his Officer Friendly side. He looked just like the ass I met in Atlanta. Hell, maybe it's time I got an upgrade for this side." He says as he wiggles the fingers on his hand in the air.

"Or, maybe not. I think two sword hands would get us kicked out before Rick could take over."

"Rick doesn't want to take over Kelly." He says quietly, looking over at me, "He just wants this place safe. Safer than it already is. You saw it, they have no idea what's out there. How there is more than the dead to worry about. Walkers may not be able to scale that huge-ass wall, but someone like the Governor, those Terminus freaks, them assholes Daryl ended up with, any one of them could take this place. And we don't want to be here if that happens. I don't know about you but one little herding at gun point was enough for one lifetime. And I'll be damned if I'm ever helpless like that again."

We sit in silence as I take in Merle's words. No matter how long I have known this man he is always full of surprises, more wisdom and brains than you would expect from someone like him. But he had a point, and suddenly I had a whole new perspective on Rick's words and actions last night. But at the same time, the road to hell was paved with good intentions. "By the way, we were all invited to queen's house for a party tonight."

"Excuse me?"

"Yea, Michonne came by and told me, later on this afternoon. Full dress and flying confetti."

"Do you even own a nice shirt?"

"I'm sure I can find something."

"I know I don't have anything anymore. The nicest thing I have is a tank-top and jeans."

"As someone who has seen you topless, you could just go without the top." He says with a smirk. I roll my eyes and smack his arm as I scoot away from the island."

"I'm gonna go find you and something nice for you to wear."

I go back upstairs and change out of my sleep wear and head out the door. There was a nice breeze outside and the sun was shining bright in the sky. I had slept in late, later than I had in a long time, as the sun was very high in the sky. This place had a pantry, a gun closet, and even a doctor's office. Surly there was somewhere I could find my boys something nice to wear. So I walked to where the pantry was located, and I passed Pete's house as I went by, and I decided I'd just ask him instead of walking randomly around town. I go up the steps and knock on the door.

"Kelly, hi."

"Oh, hey Jessie."

"Can I help you with something?"

"Yea, I need to find Daryl and Merle something to wear tonight, all we have is dirty, river washed clothes. Not exactly dinner party wear."

"Of course, I can help you, come on in and I'll get dressed and take you to the closet."

"Okay." I say as I step in, she has me sit in the living room as she goes upstairs. I look around her living room, and I see photos that had to be from before the outbreak, even her wedding photo. I had tried to save photos, Lori did too. My albums had been lost when we lost the farm. I had lost all of my stuff that I had brought with me at the start at the farm. I wondered if anything was left of Hershel's farm. Did the barn fire take everything out? Did the fire spread across the fields and burn the forest I had been lost in? Maybe one day we could go back. We saw the CDC again, maybe we could just go on an end of the world tour someday, go back to all the places we called home, even if it was just for a little while.

"Ok, I'm ready." Jessie says as she comes down the stairs. I turn from the pictures and smile at her.

"You looked so beautiful." I say, gesturing to the photo.

"Thank you, that's the only one left. I was only able to grab a few albums and all but one ended up not making it here."

"Mine didn't make it at all. I only had one to begin with. We were at this farm, and winter was about to hit so we had everything inside the house. Then a herd of walkers came from across the field. Tore through it all, we lost everything, all our supplies, a few of our people, it was awful."

"I'm sorry. You and Daryl probably had sweet wedding pictures."

"We're not married, and I actually didn't even know him from before. We met at the first camp I was at, and let's just say it was not love at first sight."

"I'm sorry, I just thought, considering how close you too seem to be..."

"Its fine, on our way here, before we lost our daughter, he mentioned something about making it official, but now, with where his heads at, hell, even my head, I think marriage is the last thing we need to worry about."

"Maybe it's the opposite. Give you too something else to think about. A change of pace, sometimes it can help."

"Right now, the only thing I need to worry about it how to get Merle into a collar shirt without having to threaten him first." I say as I walk towards the front door, Jessie following close behind me, a smile on her face.

* * *

><p>The "shopping" trip was anything but fun. It felt too weird, too normal. But it was successful. I found something for me and all my boys. I stopped by and told Maggie about the place, and I found Rosita on my way back to the house. I walked up the steps into the quiet house. I froze in the entry way, a silent house was eerie now. But I shook my head and let out a breath. I walked up the steps and dropped the clothes off in Rick, Carl, and Merle's room before going to mine and Daryl's. I laid out the black shirt and dug for his cleanest jeans. We had been lucky with clothes, and we were able to cycle out all our tattered beyond repair clothes regularly.<p>

I had found a dress, something I hadn't worse since before, and I didn't know how to feel about it. The normalcy felt wrong, the being relaxed and planning a party seemed wrong. But, Rick wanted us to try, and if this party was what it took to at least try, I guess I would. I guess we all would.

I went downstairs to the kitchen and I saw Carl sitting on the porch with Judith. I walk out and sit down beside him. "Where did you two run off too?"

"Took her to the pond. She really likes the water."

"You did too, it was your favorite thing when you were little. Bath time was always longer than it should be because you got mad when we took you out. You had these foam letters and a small basketball hoop. Looks like you and her have more in common than you think."

"Can I go to Ron's?" he asks, changing the subject. My nephew was becoming a full blown teenager, including not wanting to hang out with his family, and more time with kids his age.

"Sure, hand her over." I say, motioning to Judith. Carl handed her to me, and as he ran off down the street, my heart constricted.

Judith was bigger than Shayla, older, but yet, she was still a baby. And I had to hold her like a baby, she smelled like a baby, and this was the first time I had held Judith since I lost Shayla. I didn't even think about it, but now, I was crying. Holding my niece close to my chest and trying not to get too worked up since it would make Judith cry.

"Hey Kelly." I hear a voice from the street, but before I can calm down enough to say anything felt a hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?" I suck in a breath and look up, seeing Pete with a concerned look on his face.

"Yea, I'm fine, I just….this is the first time I've held Judith since I lost my daughter. I didn't think it would hit me like this."

"Losing a child is hard, one of the hardest things a person can ever go through." He says sitting down beside me. "I've seen patience go through it, more than I care to count. I've seen what it does to a person, to a family. I'm sure you haven't had a chance to cope with the loss, had a chance to really sit back and just let it all go, you or Daryl. But here is a safe place to do that. It's safe here. A good place to let your guard down."

"It's hard to let it out with Daryl when he's never here. We had something like a fight last night and he was gone before I got up this morning. He goes to the woods to let off steam, to hide from problems, to get away from me. I don't begrudge him his time, I know he needs it. But I wish he would talk to me about what's bugging him. I don't know what is wrong with him. How can I help if I don't know?"

"He's adjusting, like all of you are. It can't be easy, coming from out there to in here. Just give it time."

"Yea, time. I'm sick of needing time to adjust. After everything we've been through, I'm don't get why we have trouble adjusting to anything."

"We're still people Kelly, humans. It's okay for this to take a while. But I'd like to help. I'd like to be your friend. And I'd like to offer you a job. Deanna said you didn't want to work with the students, so how'd you like to work with me at the clinic."

"I've never done that before."

"It's something new, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to have another person knowing what I know. I have an assistant, Denise, but she doesn't really have the stomach for it. And I think that you do. I think that you could handle it."

"Sure, I'd like that." I say after giving it a few moments thought. Thinking about if I should tell Rick, ask Daryl. But why bother? Rick would say go for it and I don't think Daryl would care either way.

"Great, well, I have to go. If I don't get home and take a shower before tonight Jessie will have my head."

"I should probably go round up my wayward men too. Rick won't be bad, but Merle, he'll give me trouble just because that's what he does." I say as I stand up, balancing Judith on my hip. "Thank you Pete, for talking, coming by. You're a good friend."

"Anytime." He says as he walks down the steps and down the street. I watch until he's out of sight. I sigh and look down at Judith. "Auntie's sorry she freaked out on you. I'm sorry I haven't spent much time with you either. But I'm gonna change that okay." I say giving her a little bounce, playing with one of her hands. "Let's go find Daddy and maybe Uncle Daryl, but I have my doubts about that one."

* * *

><p>I carry Judith down the street, smiling at the people I passed, looking for my brother or Merle. I saw Maggie and Glenn walking into the building where the clothes were, and I passed Rosita dragging Eugene down the street. She was probably going to face the same issue with him I was going to have with Merle. I saw Sasha talking on the porch with some women, Sasha was surprising me, and she was adjusting well, better than I would have thought considering how she had been back at the barn, after losing Ty. But then she left the porch and walked over to my brother, just who I was looking for.<p>

I was far enough away that they didn't see me, but I saw them, and the way they seemed to be whispering to each other. I walked up to them, catching bits of their conversation. "I can do it, people will wonder where you are, new constable, Carl's dad." Sasha says as thy walk.

"We can't use Daryl, they're watching every move he makes."

"Can't use Daryl for what?" I ask, walking up to them.

"Hey, where'd you come from?" Rick asks, smiling at me.

"I came looking for you actually. What do you need Daryl for?"

"We're just thinking about getting some guns and stashing them outside, like we did with Terminus. It was a good call right."

"Okay." I said, not believing him for one second, but in the middle of the street wasn't the place to have this conversation. "Well, I got you all something nice to wear tonight. And you need to shower and get Carl cleaned up. Have you seen Merle or Daryl?"

"Daryl, no. But Merle is up by the gate. And don't worry, I'll get my kids scrubbed, you get your kids scrubbed. Good luck." He says as he takes Judith from me and kisses the side of my face as he and Sasha walk down the road. I look after them for a few moments before I walk towards the gate, hollering Merle's name when I get to the base of the ladder that lead to a platform.

"Merle. Merle get down here." I look up, my hand hovering over my eyes to block the sun.

"Why?" his voice shouts, but I still don't see him.

"Time to get you cleaned up. Has Daryl come back in yet?"

"Why do I need to get cleaned up? And no, he hasn't."

"He's not back yet?" I ask, grabbing the ladder and climbing up it. "It's almost dark, he should be back by now." I say as I look over the edge of the fence. Wanting him to come out of the woods.

"Kelly, he's fine. He's probably tracking a deer, he'll be back." Merle says as he wraps an arm around my shoulders. "Come on, we got that party to go to. Bet there is all types of hot, young ladies just dying to meet me. A smoking survivor like myself, all alone in the woods for days, I'm their walking fantasy." He gets me down the ladder. I know what he's doing, and I'm grateful that he is. And a little disturbed. The last thing any woman in this place needed was a taste of Merle Dixon.

* * *

><p><strong>Next Chapter: <strong>Things heat up in Alexandria. Daryl and Kelly make plans for the future, and Kelly finds out about Pete and Jessie.

**NOTE: **I decided not to write the party. It's pretty boring anyway. See you all next chapter!


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